WARNING: Incoming Wall of textWe just finished our tenth year of homeschooling, so we consider ourselves pretty experienced. If you'd like, I'd be happy to put you in contact with my wife, who'd be happy to share our experience and answer any and all questions you have. Seriously, she gets requests like this several times per year, and loves to help. Feel free to DM me. I won't bore you with our whole saga here, but here are a few thoughts:
Why people start (and continue) homeschooling - There's a huge range of reasons why people opt for it. Here are a few that our family has personally experienced:
--Student conduct - particularly in jr. high/middle school, when kids are going through puberty. All sorts of garbage happening, from porn to bullying to kids being pressured to declare their own sexuality to hormones, etc.
--Kids can learn at the pace that works for them. Smart kids can progress faster (or spend less time per subject), kids with disabilities get the personalized education that maximizes their success
--No homework/busywork
--Avoiding all the politics (nowadays, particularly in relation to sexuality) taught inappropriately
--Homeschooling can take *way* less time for the same academic results
--More flexibility with homeschooling. Scheduling, what subjects to teach, what curriculum to choose, which books to read, when to take vacation, etc.
--Less schedule-induced stress. Getting the kids out the door on time in the morning, and the hour after school and before dinner, can be super stressful.
Socialization! The myth that just won't die. - Yes, lots of people can point to "that one awkward homeschooled kid" that they knew some decades ago. However, when you think of the word "socialization," you have to be specific about the
behaviors that you're talking about, or what the awkwardness actually is. Here's an example: one of the aspects of "socializing" we see in public schools is that it's uncool to be smart, or to enjoy school, or to
appear to be invested in one's own education, even among good students. DW and I teach a class to a mix of public- and homeschooled students. The homeschooled students are at least twenty times more participatory than the public schooled kids. They're also far more likely to make connections between things they're learning (and to the rest of the world), and also the most likely to ask hard questions, because they are learning in an environment where learning is awesome and there's no social stigma about being a teacher's pet or a goody two shoes. Does that make the homeschooled kids "awkward"? Perhaps. But is the "sit silently and refuse to participate" behavior of their peers actually preferable?
When you talk about "socialization," you have to consider *all* aspects of it in the public schools, the good and the bad. You have to consider the social media garbage, the bullying, the social pecking order, the drugs/alcohol/sex/vaping/etc, in addition to the camaraderie of a sports team or the exposure to a diverse crowd of students.
Our local public school district allows us to send our kids for elementary school specials (music, art, P.E.) and jr. high and HS electives (band, shop, tech, engineering, horticulture, you name it). They're great to work with, and our kids get the best of both worlds, without having to deal with all the downsides of full-time public schooling.
Several years ago, DW also started a co-op. Once per week, a horde of homeschooling families descend on our house and have classes ranging from cooking to "Adulting 101" to "Living Off the Land" to Personal Finance to Backyard Ballistics to Harry Potter Club to Messy Science. The kids are grouped by age, and the parents conduct the classes. This past year, we had ~20 families and >40 kids in our house every week. Most of our kids' closest friendships have come from this, even though they spend more time at public school than at co-op.
Resources for starting - The homeschooling world has changed tremendously in the last couple of decades due to the internet and social media. Go on Facebook and join some homeschooling groups in your area. Ask lots of questions. Ask if you can go to someone's house and see how they do it. Ask what curriculum people use. Ask what the process is for withdrawing from the public schools and what sort of regulatory hoops you have to jump through (it varies dramatically from state to state). Ask about groups and co-ops. You'll find that homeschoolers are more than willing to share their knowledge/experience/wisdom/etc.
There are homeschooling conventions nowadays. Giant ones. We really like the
Great Homeschool Conventions. They're shockingly cheap to attend (GHC costs a whopping $89 for the whole family for three days, with all classes and expo included), and there is an absolute
bonanza of classes and exhibitors that cover everything from "homeschooling 101" to "how to fill out college applications for a homeschooled student." I mean, just look at
the lineup of classes and workshops! If you're of a non-religious bent, you may find some of them off-putting, but there's
plenty of more secular workshops and presentations, and you're obviously free to take non-religious insights from the classes that incorporate more faith. What's more, most of the presenters also have booths in the exhibition hall, and are extraordinarily willing to answer questions, share insights, give advice, etc.
There's teacherspayteachers.com, which has been a fantastic resource, especially as DW has taught our kids' AP classes.
Styles of homeschooling - There's a whole spectrum, from "school at home" (a similar set of subjects and progression as you'd see in a public school) all the way to "unschooling". Charlotte Mason, Montessori,....there's a whole litany of schooling styles. Don't just talk to one homeschooler, talk to many, because there are so many different approaches, and some will work better for you than others.
Homeschooling can be hard - It takes a lot of time and energy. You definitely develop a different relationship with your kids. At the same time, however, we look back and remember how much time we had to spend advocating for our kids when they were in public school. All the time spent doing unnecessary homework, all the time we spent reading with them anyways (hey, did I mention that DW does Read Aloud with all our kids, including our just-graduated senior? They just finished Fellowship of the Ring!). If you've got lots of kids, it takes a HUGE amount of energy.
It's a big responsibility, on top of all the other responsibilities you have as a parent. And there are days when your kid(s) will make you want to throw them back into public school. (BTW, there's no age where that's easier. We struggle as much with our 3rd grader as with our hormonal teenagers)
But it is so worth it. And you will learn to
Handle Hard Better.
What about sports/band/orchestra/choir/extracurriculars? - You may be surprised how many of these can now be supplied by the homeschooling community. Your public schools may also allow you to participate in their clubs/ensembles/teams. In short,
there are ways to meet this need.
Why have we kept with homeschooling this long, even through High School? - Lots of homeschoolers opt to send their kids back to public school for their high school years. We have opted not to. Here are some specific reasons and examples from our family of why we still homeschool, for all grades:
--Academic progress - Example #1: Our oldest is high-functioning autistic. He was always good with math, but struggled in his early years with more abstract subjects like reading comprehension. When he was in public school, the math curriculum actually caused his math skills to regress, and his reading ability was 1.5 years behind in 2nd grade. Fast forward ten years, and this past year, he was effectively teaching himself second semester calculus, and he scored *very* well on the Reading portion of the ACT. Example #2: Our second-oldest was reading at an 8th grade level in 1st grade. The teacher wasn't allowed to give her anything beyond an end-of-first-grade reading level.
--Academic rigor - Example #1: The public high school's english classes read excerpts from a handful of books each year. Our high schoolers read many whole books. Instead of a few passages from Shakespeare, they read several
plays. No sitting quietly in the back corner of the classroom for these kids! Example #2: DD1 was reading at an 11th grade level in 3rd grade, so we could give her more challenging stuff. All of our kids except for DD1 is at least a year ahead in math, and probably more ahead in reading.
--Schedule flexibility - we've taken several vacations in the middle of the school year, because it's cheaper and the crowds are lighter. Yes, that means our kids miss several days of their specials/electives, but we let the teachers know ahead of time, and it never takes our kids more than a day to catch up.
--It takes less time - Our 2nd and 4th graders take less than two hours to cover all of their subjects, on days where they have a good attitude. Their list of subjects is also much larger than what their peers get. Reading, history, spelling, math, music, typing, religion, writing, science...all done by 10am. Our high schoolers, despite a rather demanding class schedule, have time to work 10 hours per week (hey, there's some
real world socialization, not some phoney high-school baloney!) and are still home by dinner time.
--Individually-tailored education - DD1 needs more time for math, so she spends more time on it and progresses more slowly through the book. She needs less time for reading, so she spends less time on that. DD3 (12) whips out his schoolwork very independently, while DD2 (8) needs DW to sit next to her for some subjects. DS2 (14) hates writing, so we adapt the material so that he still gets the same learning, but in a way that suits him better.
--No stress getting kids out the door to school on time, and no "witching hour" after school and before dinner.
--The garbage politics and sex-related stuff in public education. It's no secret that I'm pretty conservative, and I'm sure some here will disagree, but we find it highly inappropriate to be teaching kids about sexuality when they're still figuring out how to tie their shoes, and DEI has morphed into a puritanical, ideological mafia.
--The Love of Learning. Because homeschooling is tailored to the needs, abilities, and proclivities of both teacher and student, it creates an environment where learning is much more fulfilling, and more of its own reward. "Why does ____?" "I don't know, let's go find out!"...or..."Hey, that news story sounds like <fill in some concept the HS kids have been learning in AP US government>!" That leads to...
--We know all about our kids' education. There are no surprises. No sudden "hey, how did you miss turning in 16 homework assignments?" No "They're having your read WHAT book!?" Instead, we know exactly what our kids are learning, and that means we can point to things like "hey, what logical fallacy does that sound like?" (oh, yeah, Logical Fallacies was a subject last year) or "what constitutional amendment would apply to this?" or "what literary archetype do you see in this movie?" or "hey, remember how we talked about how seeds grow? You can see the same thing in our garden!" or "here's how stupid it is to carry a credit card balance!"
--It is tremendously fulfilling to see how much the kids benefit.
--We have a much, much closer (though not always agreeable...mumbleteenagersmumble) relationship with our kids.
I could go on, but this post is already too long. Seriously, if you want more, my wife would be happy to share more of our experience.
