Living in the basement - how to move out

[SpaghettiMonster]

My husband and I have been living in my parents basement for 5 years and pay them $500 a month. We don't have any debt and have both been working and saving money for a house. I recently had a baby, so now I only work part time. We have been looking for our own place for a while, but can't find anything that doesn't at least triple our monthly expenses and I guess I'm so used to being "spoiled" by our living arrangement and cheap rent, it kills me to pay so much more. Also, my husband only makes 40K a year and I only bring in another $400 a month with my part time work. If we were both working, it would feel better, but with only his income, it feels like a risk to move out. We are doing alright here. We get along and we have enough space, but I feel like it's time to move on and I don't know how to do it. I feel like I'm stuck here. Am I foolish to think it's time to move out? Should we keep staying here and piling up cash until we know what we want? What if we never know what we want, it's been 5 years already and that seems like forever. I feel like staying here is making me lazy and spoiled because it's so cheap. But, I feel like if we move out I might regret it because we'll never live so cheaply again. So, obviously I'm really bad at making life altering decisions so when I don't know, I just keep still. I'd love anyone's advice or thoughts!

[Done by Forty]

That's a tough one.  Are there specific financial goals (e.g. - owning a house, FI, etc.) that we could run scenarios against?  You might chart out how much time it would take to reach each goal based on your current living arrangement and another.

I find that when I'm in a situation I don't love, as long as I have some sort of timeline for when it might be over, my perspective improves.  I guess I can tolerate the temporary...it's the indefinite that gets to me.  Doing the above would give you that timeline, if nothing else.

[SpaghettiMonster]

Yes, we'd like to buy a house. Of course, we'd love to be financially independent, but I don't see how that is possible with just my husband's 40k income. I guess I'm feeling a little stuck because I can't lower our expenses any more since we already live so cheaply, and I don't see my husband's income increasing any more than his yearly 3% raise. He is at a good company but he doesn't see much growth for him there and isn't interested in looking at other options right now. I have a baby so I can't work more than my part-time job which is mostly from home, so it's a great job for me as a new mom. I'd like to create more income but I just don't see it anywhere and am feeling like a loser still living with family.

[okits]

You're renting an apartment from family at an affordable rate while your young family is growing, not freeloading off your parents while just bumming around with no direction in life. You'd be a loser if you made financial decisions you can't currently afford or that wouldn't be optimal for your family's future. I'd give my eyeteeth to pay $500 in rent for my household and have enough space and get along in that arrangement. We pay more than 3x that much (increasing annually) plus parking for not enough space and shitty neighbors we absolutely hate. (The joys of city living...)

I can relate to feeling a bit stuck and like you are not progressing (and the house lust), but until you have a clear direction and can truly afford to move out, try to find ways to feel good about availing yourselves of an advantageous situation. (Is there some free babysitting provided so you can do a bit more PT work?)

[gooki]

I'd like to create more income but I just don't see it anywhere and am feeling like a loser still living with family.

First, don't feel like a looser. Just because your living arrangement is different to the local social norm, it's still very common on a global scale. And we'll it just makes damn good financial sense.

As for more specific advice id need to know, how much house are you looking to buy? How much are property takes, and insurance, now big is your current down payment, and how fast is it growing?

[SpaghettiMonster]

I can relate to feeling a bit stuck and like you are not progressing (and the house lust), but until you have a clear direction and can truly afford to move out, try to find ways to feel good about availing yourselves of an advantageous situation. (Is there some free babysitting provided so you can do a bit more PT work?)

Thanks! I think this is what I know is true, but maybe needed to hear it from someone else. We aren't sure about what kind of house, size, or location where we'd want to settle down, so I know we need more time to have some clear direction before moving. We are in a great situation in regards to low expenses, but I just would like to have some higher income to fully take advantage of our ability to save. Thanks for your thoughts!

[matt_g]

This is difficult.  On one hand you want to move out, on the other hand you want to be FI.  They are basically contradicting goals given your current situation.  I'd prioritize and ask yourself which is more important to you.

If you move out, your parents will also lose $500 of income per month.
If you feel like a freeloader, you can just pay your parents more rent.

If I were in your situation, I'd be stockpiling cash and then ask yourself the same question in 6 months or a year.

[gooki]

My 2cents. You are unlikely to see homes get cheaper in the next two decades, or interest rates lower. In which case waiting for your income to increase dramatically before making the jump could easily be offset by house price appreciation, and interest rate increases.

So if home ownership is a priority, go start looking, and see what you can afford with your current income. I'd also make sure you have at least 20% down payment to avoid additional fees.

[Captain and Mrs Slow]

First, don't feel like a looser. Just because your living arrangement is different to the local social norm, it's still very common on a global scale. And we'll it just makes damn good financial sense.

I second that, putting yourself under financial stress simply so you can simply be "normal" is, well, unmustachian. Keep living below your means, saving your money and see what doors open. Also with owning is that really the best way to go, it will add substantially to your costs and put your FI date off by many many years.

Try this instead, build up your investments till you get to the point that they cover first your rent, and then secondly your living costs. One day not too far off while all your friends "feel sorry" that you have to live "at home" you'll have last laugh, they work morning till night while you're both retired

Again there is nothing wrong with renting as long as you have a healthy savings rate.

BTW there are loads of great investment blogs out there.

[TomTX]

You get along with the parents, you like the living arrangements, you're not freeloading, you get to spend more time with family - I'd stay and pile up cash.