Hi All,
My wife works as an engineer for a very large aerospace company. Shes been there over 4 years and hasn't really enjoyed it very much. In the first group she was in she was bullied relentlessly and called a man, told she should be at home in the kitchen and generally mocked on a daily basis. Due to all the strain of that group she began taking antidepressants to deal with it. She told her manager she wasn't happy and decided to switch groups. The next group she landed in, she was instantly sexually harassed (guy grabbed her leg and said he wanted to attack her). She found out this particular person was sexually harassing multiple women, so they all came forward to management. The guy got one unpaid day off of work and she still has to see him daily. There are also other men in this organization that tell her they'd like to see her without clothes on, etc. She always tells them to stop and it's not okay to speak to her like that. One guy grabbed a woman's breast, she reported it and nothing happened to the guy. That lady has since quit due to the hostile environment. Unfortunately my wife hasn't kept records of the accounts and the scariest event was nearly 2 years ago. Additionally, her physical work environment is a giant shit-hole too. They stuck her and many other hapless souls in a basement that is infested with mice and roaches, has oxygen sensors mounted on the wall due to minimal oxygen levels. Also since they can only "afford" to take the garbage out once every two weeks it also smells awful and gnats and flies abound. I didn't quite believe it was as bad as she described, so I went there myself. Yep, It was disgusting. When we got to the basement I had trouble taking full breaths of air.
Since she was zombified from antidepressants, she didn't realize how much all this shit was affecting her, she just kept going to work and kept her head down. Since December she had been having horrific, debilitating stomach pains. We went to see doctor after doctor trying to understand what was causing it. The doctors weren't able to find anything wrong. During several months of agony we tried several different diets, therapies, acupuncture, herbal supplements, etc. Nothing seemed to work and the medication to treat the symptoms didn't really help. So, she decided to try getting off the antidepressants, because we thought it may be contributing to her stomach pains. Well, while tapering off the antidepressants she became painfully aware of how shitty her work environment is and that she is legitimately terrified to go into work. Without the antidepressants clouding her judgement, she was able to piece together that her job (along with grad. school and some family issues) was creating her severe stomach pains. It was all stress manifesting itself as physical symptoms.
We actually visited the Mayo Clinic to make absolutely sure this was the case. The doctors there validated our thoughts. Since we now understand that her conditions were caused by many workplace related issues, it's obvious she needs to get the hell out of there. The one thing looming over our heads is if she leaves the company now, we will owe $30k since she was 3/4 through graduate school paid for by the company. Since we were working towards FI, most of our savings exists in the form of 401ks. We have very minimal savings in actual cash.
In my mind there are three options:
1. Move to a different group within the company and pray it will be better
2. Quit, owe $30k - She can find stuff to do at home to make her happy. Might be harder to find another job with a gap in employment.
3. Continue with shit job until she finds a new job, quit, owe $30k.
One thing about my wife, she is extremely driven and feels like she has to be doing something productive or she's not worthwhile. I am afraid if she just straight up quits, it will further her depression and make her feel worthless. Despite me telling her I am completely fine with her quitting. In my mind, there's nothing more important than health and sanity.
She attempted to call a lawyer that deals in sexual harassment cases and he wanted specific dates, times, and events within the last 6 months. Well hell, what human operates like that? "I am scared for my safety, hold on - let me get out my pencil and paper."
Any advice for what choice to make? Should she cut the cord and bail? Pursue further legal action? I will reiterate, I know nothing is more important than health, safety and sanity. I just wish there was a way to get out of there without paying back the evil corporation $30,000. If she does end up just saying "F" you to the company, how should we best pay back the $30k? We have about that in home equity (HELOC)? We certainly have enough in 401ks. We could take out a loan?
Thanks for reading and sorry for the rambling. I am pretty upset by this whole situation and need good advice.
EDIT: By the way, I keep kicking myself for not telling her to get out of there sooner! What was I thinking?