We were originally considering the frontier, but the resale value of the tacoma was appeasing (on paper.....10 years from now).
Resale value is irrelevant if you drive it until the doors fall off.
The way you make a good decision is by very clearly defining your needs, and then choosing the least-expensive option that meets those needs. If you choose a more-expensive vehicle than you actually need, understand that you are doing so because of some additional benefit it provides, and make sure you agree that getting that additional benefit is the best possible use for the extra money you're paying.
For example: you reasonably need ground clearance and AWD/4WD. That does not mean you need a pickup.* There is a huge variety of vehicles available that meet those needs, many of which will get better gas mileage than a pickup. So why are you focused on a pickup? (Hint: if it's "because I want to be able to do XYZ," ask yourself whether you actually do XYZ often enough to justify the upcharge -- humans are very, very good at rationalizing what we want).
And: you want a reliable vehicle that is cheap to maintain and will last a long time. That does not mean you need a Toyota. There are many, many vehicles out there that will last you 100,000 miles or more, and many of those do not in fact involve a Toyota Tax.
Much of reaching FI is learning to think outside our preconceived notions, because those notions have been formed by a very consumerist society that values bigger and better and newer. So define your needs as objectively as you can. Then do your research on the kinds of vehicles that meet those needs (FWIW, I like Edmunds as a reasonable car site for that sort of thing). And when you get the inevitable knee-jerk "I don't want that," challenge your own thinking, really examine why something that makes the most sense on paper "feels" wrong. The process is going to be hella uncomfortable. But most useful things are.
*Really, are pickups that great in the snow? I'd expect the lack of weight on the back wheels would make bad-weather handling kind of questionable.