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General Discussion => Welcome and General Discussion => Topic started by: wageslave23 on November 04, 2024, 11:52:14 AM

Title: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: wageslave23 on November 04, 2024, 11:52:14 AM
We just had a coworker who is under credentialed and under experienced promoted to manager. At the time, I thought who cares, it's not my company - I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Well, fast forward a few months and she has set up all these tasks with deadlines and micromanaging the shit out of everything. She just had a company wide meeting berating everyone, new employees who are still learning and experienced employees who are Rockstar employees in all measurable variables except these arbitrary micromanaging tasks. Needless to say, the new employees are overwhelmed by the workload and experienced employees are pissed that they are being treated like they work at McDonald's. Luckily I'm FI and will be monitoring the situation carefully to see if it eventually blows over. But if it gets worse or if veteran employees start leaving putting the company in a tough spot with the remaining employees, I will be jumping ship too which will only make the landslide for the company worse. Any younger MMMers reading this - your lack of FI or at least FU money is truly a hair on fire emergency.  I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 04, 2024, 01:13:30 PM
I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.

This is so true. Never be overly complacent. A new boss, new owner or CEO, even a new coworker can wreak havoc on a formerly enjoyable job.

I'm also in the thick of similar disgruntlements, wageslave. I'm not quite FI, but close enough that if I quit and the market is relatively average for a few years, I'd be fine. If push comes to shove, I will take the euphemistic sabatical and see where I end up. I am old enough that new employment (particularly of a comparable level) and without a current job while searching might not be in the cards for me. So I am proceeding judiciously, but I do not feel powerless by any means, which is helpful. Not only for planning, but for the mental health aspect.

I can reframe the current situation as - how long can I put up with this, rather than feeling trapped.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: rothwem on November 04, 2024, 02:03:17 PM
Hang on, I thought it was important to be FI so you could buy a Camry SE instead of an LE to flex on the haters?

:D

</threadspillover>

But yeah, I tend to agree that its good to be FI in the event that you find yourself in a toxic work environment.  I would advise not heading for the hills immediately though, I think I'd use my FI status to try to influence/train the incompetent manager to make the place a bit more bearable. 
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: wageslave23 on November 04, 2024, 02:15:59 PM
I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.

This is so true. Never be overly complacent. A new boss, new owner or CEO, even a new coworker can wreak havoc on a formerly enjoyable job.

I'm also in the thick of similar disgruntlements, wageslave. I'm not quite FI, but close enough that if I quit and the market is relatively average for a few years, I'd be fine. If push comes to shove, I will take the euphemistic sabatical and see where I end up. I am old enough that new employment (particularly of a comparable level) and without a current job while searching might not be in the cards for me. So I am proceeding judiciously, but I do not feel powerless by any means, which is helpful. Not only for planning, but for the mental health aspect.

I can reframe the current situation as - how long can I put up with this, rather than feeling trapped.


At least you know the end is near. And don't have 10+ yrs left.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: wageslave23 on November 04, 2024, 02:35:35 PM
Hang on, I thought it was important to be FI so you could buy a Camry SE instead of an LE to flex on the haters?

:D

</threadspillover>

But yeah, I tend to agree that its good to be FI in the event that you find yourself in a toxic work environment.  I would advise not heading for the hills immediately though, I think I'd use my FI status to try to influence/train the incompetent manager to make the place a bit more bearable.

Lol, that thread was largely misunderstood.  Im the epitome of anti flexing
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Freedomin5 on November 04, 2024, 02:37:56 PM
Yup. Same here. If you don’t care about losing your job, it also makes you braver to speak up about the injustices and to defend others.

Also, it doesn’t stress you as much of the economy or the company isn’t doing well.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Wolfpack Mustachian on November 04, 2024, 02:39:49 PM
I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.

This is so true. Never be overly complacent. A new boss, new owner or CEO, even a new coworker can wreak havoc on a formerly enjoyable job.

I'm also in the thick of similar disgruntlements, wageslave. I'm not quite FI, but close enough that if I quit and the market is relatively average for a few years, I'd be fine. If push comes to shove, I will take the euphemistic sabatical and see where I end up. I am old enough that new employment (particularly of a comparable level) and without a current job while searching might not be in the cards for me. So I am proceeding judiciously, but I do not feel powerless by any means, which is helpful. Not only for planning, but for the mental health aspect.

I can reframe the current situation as - how long can I put up with this, rather than feeling trapped.

Just to echo, you are one change of boss away from hating a job you used to love. Also, don't underestimate the reduced amount of crap you're willing to put up with as you grow older/get more confident/get more competent in your job. Always pursue FI!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Louise on November 04, 2024, 03:25:56 PM
My boss said a jerky thing to me in a meeting and I called him out on it (it wasn't on purpose, more of a bad optics thing, but I was totally in the right). Haha- he was not expecting that, especially because I'm generally mild mannered. He actually avoided me for about two months and then I was moved to a new boss during a reorg. We were FI too, so didn't care if I was fired. It's a very helpful thing to have in your back pocket!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 04, 2024, 05:35:24 PM
My boss said a jerky thing to me in a meeting and I called him out on it (it wasn't on purpose, more of a bad optics thing, but I was totally in the right). Haha- he was not expecting that, especially because I'm generally mild mannered. He actually avoided me for about two months and then I was moved to a new boss during a reorg. We were FI too, so didn't care if I was fired. It's a very helpful thing to have in your back pocket!

haha!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: fuzzy math on November 04, 2024, 05:56:38 PM
I'm living in toxic land too. Some days are great, when I get paired with the right people, some days I absolutely feel physically ill. Good luck to both of you in flexing your FU-ness
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 04, 2024, 06:52:42 PM
It's great to be financially independent, but, if not, able to exercise options for other jobs.  Many people feel "locked" into a job when they may be surprised how easily they could land a job with a better boss, co-workers, even benefits.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: LaineyAZ on November 04, 2024, 07:08:34 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: wageslave23 on November 04, 2024, 07:40:18 PM
I'm living in toxic land too. Some days are great, when I get paired with the right people, some days I absolutely feel physically ill. Good luck to both of you in flexing your FU-ness

Thanks. You too.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 41_swish on November 04, 2024, 09:26:52 PM
We just had a coworker who is under credentialed and under experienced promoted to manager. At the time, I thought who cares, it's not my company - I'll just keep doing what I'm doing. Well, fast forward a few months and she has set up all these tasks with deadlines and micromanaging the shit out of everything. She just had a company wide meeting berating everyone, new employees who are still learning and experienced employees who are Rockstar employees in all measurable variables except these arbitrary micromanaging tasks. Needless to say, the new employees are overwhelmed by the workload and experienced employees are pissed that they are being treated like they work at McDonald's. Luckily I'm FI and will be monitoring the situation carefully to see if it eventually blows over. But if it gets worse or if veteran employees start leaving putting the company in a tough spot with the remaining employees, I will be jumping ship too which will only make the landslide for the company worse. Any younger MMMers reading this - your lack of FI or at least FU money is truly a hair on fire emergency.  I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.
It is a shame, but this is just the nature of the beast. There is always politics like this, and it sucks. Posts like this have lit a fire under my butt to motivate me to aggressively save.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 2sk22 on November 05, 2024, 03:46:34 AM
Any younger MMMers reading this - your lack of FI or at least FU money is truly a hair on fire emergency.  I used to not mind my job, but things can change quickly and this is just one example. Get your FU money ASAP, you never know when you will need it.

Words of wisdom! My wife says that having FU money is what makes her job enjoyable. Without that, it would be one constant stress-fest
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Ron Scott on November 05, 2024, 06:35:20 AM
It’s important to be FI so you have options in life from a long-term perspective. But you don’t need FI money to move on from a company when the time has come.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: redhead84 on November 05, 2024, 06:58:09 AM
Yes, I'm in the midst of a big work transition. My boss (the CFO) just left the company. I've been through this before -- more work and stress while the position is open and then the wildcard of a new boss with new expectations after the position is filled. I don't plan on leaving, but it is nice to not have finances be a factor in the future decisions.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 05, 2024, 09:29:29 AM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

How wide spread is that?

My DD and all her friends are very career focused. And voting today!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 05, 2024, 09:36:20 AM
My boss said a jerky thing to me in a meeting and I called him out on it (it wasn't on purpose, more of a bad optics thing, but I was totally in the right). Haha- he was not expecting that, especially because I'm generally mild mannered. He actually avoided me for about two months and then I was moved to a new boss during a reorg. We were FI too, so didn't care if I was fired. It's a very helpful thing to have in your back pocket!

Now I want to know what he said!

And how you so wonderfully parried him with "Not today, F*cker!"

:-)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 05, 2024, 09:41:54 AM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

How wide spread is that?

My DD and all her friends are very career focused. And voting today!

Unfortunately, in religious circles, it seems to be gaining ground. When I discussed deciding on a college major with my then-17 year old niece (i.e., choosing something that would assist her in the job market once graduated), she airily replied that SHE didn't need to worry about making a living, as it would be her husband's job to do so.

This was in 2019, and I am still horrified that my brother has raised a child who thinks this way.

Our parents separated when Mom was 33, with three kids under the age of 8. She struggled for nearly a decade as a single mom, in an era before women were allowed to buy a house or open a credit card without a husband. My brother SAW this, and he has a privileged daughter with no thought about what it would be like to be abandoned for the new, younger model ate age 40.

Gah!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Freedomin5 on November 05, 2024, 02:55:09 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

How wide spread is that?

My DD and all her friends are very career focused. And voting today!

Unfortunately, in religious circles, it seems to be gaining ground. When I discussed deciding on a college major with my then-17 year old niece (i.e., choosing something that would assist her in the job market once graduated), she airily replied that SHE didn't need to worry about making a living, as it would be her husband's job to do so.

This was in 2019, and I am still horrified that my brother has raised a child who thinks this way.

Our parents separated when Mom was 33, with three kids under the age of 8. She struggled for nearly a decade as a single mom, in an era before women were allowed to buy a house or open a credit card without a husband. My brother SAW this, and he has a privileged daughter with no thought about what it would be like to be abandoned for the new, younger model ate age 40.

Gah!

Those in religious circles who think this way really need to re-read Proverbs 31’s definition of a “wife of noble character”. The woman in there (a woman to be praised) spins, weaves, invests in real estate, starts multiple businesses, and her businesses are so successful her husband doesn’t need to work and can sit at the gates boasting about his awesome wife.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: simonsez on November 05, 2024, 03:17:16 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..
What types of economic times do you prefer?  What markers and metrics are you using?  Unemployment? Inflation? 10 year Treasury yield?  Market returns?  GDP?  My household operates on a fairly low information diet but it seems like the economy is at least "good" if not "very good" with any comparisons historically in the US or compared to other parts of the world.  I'm assuming you were referencing the US, apologies if you were not.

My wife just got out of teaching public grade school and is expecting.  She plans to stay home until our child is able to attend PK.  If she wants to go back sooner to the world of wages whether that's in the field of education or something different, she's certainly welcome to (or if she wants to stay at home forever, that's also fine!) - but she made that choice largely because the economy has been so great for so long (and our investments have grown nicely which we plan to leave untouched but is nice for peace of mind to fall back on in an emergency) and is confident she could get a job if we needed to or that I could get some side hustles.  I certainly do not consider myself a high earner (our HH income is between 1x-2x the national median) but when you live below your means and some things are just more important than staying in a job (that has eroded BIG TIME for her, especially post-COVID) just to earn more/save more/retire sooner/etc. and the economy has been humming along, you do what works.  It has little or nothing to do with feminism and definitely zilch to do with religion in our household.  Maybe the trend of romanticizing earning more dollars at the expense of other endeavors is surprising given the amazing world we live in with the freedom to pursue whatever we want.

Do these women that voluntarily leave the W-2/1099 labor market tend to regret the time they were at home with their children or whatever is it they are now pursuing (gardening/homesteading, entrepreneurship, running for or supporting elected a type of elected office, charity work, writing, music-making, etc.)?  Or are they generally happy with their choices?  I feel like a year from now (if everything goes well from this point and we're lucky to be parents of a 9-10 month old) if my wife is not happy being at home, she would just return to the official labor force in some capacity*.  No matter what the path, she will be doing what she wants.  I don't see anything wrong with that, nor do we see anything wrong with mothers who go back to the workforce soon after giving birth or those that choose to rear children on a more permanent basis.  To each their own.

* If you were solely talking about childless homemakers without any serious conditions that would prevent them from participating in the labor market (including charities and other non-profits) and are not FI, then that makes much more sense under a feminist lens (or lack thereof)!  Yeah I could not be with someone (nor could I be that type of person) like that nor could my wife.  It's still to each their own, though.  Being a kept man or kept woman wouldn't work for us but if it does for others, cool. 
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: LaineyAZ on November 05, 2024, 06:27:24 PM
simonsez,
I think you're taking the comment about these economic times too literally. 

I meant, in general, it's never a good idea to be completely dependent on another adult for your financial support in the U.S. for a lot of reasons:

- the U.S. safety net is pretty patchy so a sole breadwinner losing a job can push many families into dire circumstances sooner than they think
- females marrying young (as the trad wife style encourages) and having babies before gaining an education or a marketable skill is a very high-risk proposition; hence the comment about turning 40 and being served with divorce papers/traded in for a younger version is so common it doesn't even cause anyone to express surprise.  It can easily flip someone (usually female) from a middle-class life to scrambling for every dollar for years
- I grew up working class and as author Rick Bragg has said, have seen how "everything can turn to shit in a second."  I've never held the carefree belief that so many folks who grew up in middle and upper class families seem to have that their comfortable lives would never be affected by divorce, disability or death of a breadwinner.    And with AI encroaching fast on middle-class jobs, I think it's going to be a wild ride as good jobs get eliminated.

I've mentioned elsewhere the book "Cut Adrift, Families in Insecure Times" by Marianne Cooper.  It shows how the American middle-class is continuing to slip.
In fact, I think the continued economic anxiety is what helped fuel the rise of someone like Trump because sadly, I think many (men especially) are casting about for someone to blame and immigrants are an easy target.

I'll stop here except to say I'm glad that your spouse will be able to be a stay at home parent.  Sincerely.  I'm sure you have savings and disability insurance, life insurance, and other safeguards to make sure that can happen and keep your family secure. 
I just don't want anyone to walk blindly into that life (so romanticized in TikTok, and now even satirized on Saturday Night Live) without really thinking of all of the ramifications. 
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 05, 2024, 11:37:05 PM
^^^Well said @LaineyAZ . Add in that economic hardship can also just be the cost of living for many couples with kids and median salaries or lower. Often times to provide basic housing, food, a vehicle, and some basic things in life both spouses need to work.  Throw in extras like providing a college education, a family vacation and saving/investing and it's just not doable on one income. People on this site seem to have pretty high incomes so affording high housing cost or dealing with inflation for everything from food to energy on one income is probably doable. There's even money left over to invest. Not always the case for everyone no matter how good the economy is or how low the unemployment rate is or how high the market is. Especially if there's nothing left over to invest.

As for the OP: Being FI can open so many doors to new opportunities outside of a job. You are no longer held back by having to earn an income that if something exciting presents itself (and not just job or money making opportunities)  - especially those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities - you're free to grab them!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Much Fishing to Do on November 06, 2024, 04:55:15 AM
I'll add it is important to just "attempt" to be FI, and can pay off well before you actually are.  This is what I like to point out to all the FIRE haters that talk about how the many years of saving is nothing but sacrifice, a sacrifice that lasts a significant part of your life and so may not be worth it.

I hated my job, both the job and the way it took me away from my family for hours and even days upon days, but it paid well...  I looked up one day and had savings equal to 5x my annual spend and wondered, why in the hell am I here.  Why I dont I leave, find another good job, not accepting just a stopgap, and consider the time looking a vacation as opposed to being unemployed.  Most people my age at that time don't have months, much less years, of savings that made this a reasonable action.  And the only reason I had all that savings was because a few years prior I had become determined to FIRE.

When I hit about 8x savings (well before the FIRE goal), it occured to me that I had no financial worries beyond one "exactly how young can I retire?".  Not what if I lose (or leave) my job, what if the car breaks down, what if my insurance doesn't cover everything.  That's an awfully comfortable place to be.

Many years later, now FI, it turns out I think it is good for me to have a part time job (worked from home) for a few reasons (similar to how it is 'good for me' to exercise, even though I don't always love it).  But it has to be ridiculously perfect, which is what I held out for, because I could. And I got it.  And I could lose it tomorrow, and that is ok too.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 08, 2024, 05:33:18 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

How wide spread is that?

My DD and all her friends are very career focused. And voting today!

Unfortunately, in religious circles, it seems to be gaining ground. When I discussed deciding on a college major with my then-17 year old niece (i.e., choosing something that would assist her in the job market once graduated), she airily replied that SHE didn't need to worry about making a living, as it would be her husband's job to do so.

This was in 2019, and I am still horrified that my brother has raised a child who thinks this way.

Our parents separated when Mom was 33, with three kids under the age of 8. She struggled for nearly a decade as a single mom, in an era before women were allowed to buy a house or open a credit card without a husband. My brother SAW this, and he has a privileged daughter with no thought about what it would be like to be abandoned for the new, younger model ate age 40.

Gah!

yikes.

did neice finish a degree?
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 08, 2024, 06:22:28 PM
@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: achvfi on November 08, 2024, 09:13:23 PM
I had bad boss few years ago and it is just unbelievable how bad the job became with introduction of just one bad person to the team. Difference was night and day. Within few months I figured she was a psycho, I moved on to different role. Later I learned she put that team through the wringer. One day I was passing by old team one of the teammates in his 50s came to me and gave me big bear hug with tears in his eyes. Apparently she was making their lives hell. So many good coworkers suffered and team disintegrated. Luckily after a while they got relief, she was promoted and had to take over some other team. LOL. Then one day I got a call from a person reporting to her in new team, asking me about my experience working with her and he was at a loss on how to work with her. I told there is nothing he can do, just move on.

Life is too short to go through such nonsense.

Anyway that experience reinforced my already good financial habits. Keeping expenses reasonable, staying put in our more than adequate home, not buying new cars... so on.

Now we are somewhere between lean FI and FI. Such situations do not phase me anymore. I am no wage slave no more, pun intended.





Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 08, 2024, 11:13:49 PM
@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.

I have to repeat myself. yikes.

Hope it works out for her.

Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 09, 2024, 10:08:51 AM
@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.

I have to repeat myself. yikes.

Hope it works out for her.

I am torn - I kinda want it to not work out for her, at least in the 5-7 years after graduation. I'd love to see her humbled enough to get some real work experience that she can rely on later in life, ya know?

If it works out for her immediately, it will be a much harder crash if things go wrong in her 40's.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 09, 2024, 11:02:07 AM
@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.

I have to repeat myself. yikes.

Hope it works out for her.

I am torn - I kinda want it to not work out for her, at least in the 5-7 years after graduation. I'd love to see her humbled enough to get some real work experience that she can rely on later in life, ya know?

If it works out for her immediately, it will be a much harder crash if things go wrong in her 40's.

was meaning "works outs" to be overall, if early bumps in the road lead to ok, that is works outs.

Would not be - smooth sailing for 25 years and then a tough rest of her life as an older single woman.....
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: clarkfan1979 on November 10, 2024, 05:50:48 AM
My wife worked for a retail company that had a very strong culture of promoting from within. One of the biggest predictors of getting promoted was "willingness to move". Toward the end of her 10 year career at that company she had a few different managers that were younger, less experienced and just didn't know what they were doing. She ran the largest department in the store and her numbers were very good. However, her numbers were never good enough for management, so she ended up quitting. They had 2-3 different replacements that posted worse numbers and corporate decided to close the store within 18 months.

I don't mind having a boss with high expectations that knows what they are doing. However, it continues to amaze me how many bad bosses exist that are a liability to a company, but they continue to get promoted. It shouldn't surprise me, but it still does. 
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: SunnyDays on November 10, 2024, 09:17:35 AM
My wife worked for a retail company that had a very strong culture of promoting from within. One of the biggest predictors of getting promoted was "willingness to move". Toward the end of her 10 year career at that company she had a few different managers that were younger, less experienced and just didn't know what they were doing. She ran the largest department in the store and her numbers were very good. However, her numbers were never good enough for management, so she ended up quitting. They had 2-3 different replacements that posted worse numbers and corporate decided to close the store within 18 months.

I don't mind having a boss with high expectations that knows what they are doing. However, it continues to amaze me how many bad bosses exist that are a liability to a company, but they continue to get promoted. It shouldn't surprise me, but it still does. 

As the saying goes, "One rises to the level of their incompetence."
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: use2betrix on November 10, 2024, 04:40:16 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

There’s a lot of benefits to having a parent that can stay at home with children before they start kindergarten and also available more readily through their education.

On a forum surrounding early retirement, there’s also an argument in living within a families means so a spouse can stay at home to improve the families quality of life.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: okits on November 10, 2024, 05:38:51 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

There’s a lot of benefits to having a parent that can stay at home with children before they start kindergarten and also available more readily through their education.

On a forum surrounding early retirement, there’s also an argument in living within a families means so a spouse can stay at home to improve the families quality of life.

All real benefits to the children and the family unit.  But the concern in @LaineyAZ 's comment was surrounding the financial vulnerability of the spouse whose current marketable skills are homemaking and caregiving, or as in @Sandi_k 's niece's situation, youth and beauty that will inevitably decline.  Choose dependency at your own peril.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jeninco on November 11, 2024, 10:13:45 AM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

There’s a lot of benefits to having a parent that can stay at home with children before they start kindergarten and also available more readily through their education.

On a forum surrounding early retirement, there’s also an argument in living within a families means so a spouse can stay at home to improve the families quality of life.

All real benefits to the children and the family unit.  But the concern in @LaineyAZ 's comment was surrounding the financial vulnerability of the spouse whose current marketable skills are homemaking and caregiving, or as in @Sandi_k 's niece's situation, youth and beauty that will inevitably decline.  Choose dependency at your own peril.

This.

I have a professional consulting job that happens to be part-time (more accurate to say "hours vary", but in order for me to officially remain a "consultant" I have to be able to control my own hours).  So I got to be the parent who largely stayed home with small kids (we had a few nanny hours when they were really small so I could work and they went to a lovely local preschool) and who was "around" when the kids were older, so typically available to talk when they got home from school, and help get them places, and help organize their soccer teams and such.  While still doing consulting in a STEM field, so if something really horrible happened I could get a FT job at a fairly high technical level.

It helps that DH is supportive of all this, and we picked a solution that worked pretty well for our entire family, including me (should something horrible happen).
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Laura33 on November 11, 2024, 11:49:47 AM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

It's stotting -- or, as These Kids Today would say, a flex.  Really, it's no different than Country Club Mom showing off her new tennis bracelet.

It's not about the benefits of having a parent stay at home.  It's about signaling your high status to your cohort.

@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.

I have to repeat myself. yikes.

Hope it works out for her.

I am torn - I kinda want it to not work out for her, at least in the 5-7 years after graduation. I'd love to see her humbled enough to get some real work experience that she can rely on later in life, ya know?

Eh, won't happen.  Because she is doing all of the Right Things and living pursuant to her values, which means God will bless her with abundance.  Ergo, anything that goes wrong will be due to someone else who is not as God-fearing and righteous as her.  At best, it will be a trial that God grants her to demonstrate her continuing faith and obedience; at worst, it will be the devil-worshipping modern-lack-of-morals persecuting her.

The kinds of folks who are attracted to this very rigid thinking are also the kind of folks who don't tend to be open to learning lessons that run contrary to that thinking.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GuitarStv on November 11, 2024, 12:06:49 PM
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

How wide spread is that?

My DD and all her friends are very career focused. And voting today!

Unfortunately, in religious circles, it seems to be gaining ground. When I discussed deciding on a college major with my then-17 year old niece (i.e., choosing something that would assist her in the job market once graduated), she airily replied that SHE didn't need to worry about making a living, as it would be her husband's job to do so.

This was in 2019, and I am still horrified that my brother has raised a child who thinks this way.

Our parents separated when Mom was 33, with three kids under the age of 8. She struggled for nearly a decade as a single mom, in an era before women were allowed to buy a house or open a credit card without a husband. My brother SAW this, and he has a privileged daughter with no thought about what it would be like to be abandoned for the new, younger model ate age 40.

Gah!

yikes.

did neice finish a degree?

This has been going on for quite a while.  At least I remember running into a few young women like this at university.  We used to say they were trying to earn their MRS.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: seemsright on November 11, 2024, 01:00:54 PM
Having at least FU money is vital. Being FI creates a major source of confidence, and FU energy that can intimidate managers like nothing other.

Hubby is on a team with a young manager who has no idea what He is doing. The senior team members on the team all at least have FU money, and many of them are FI in one way or another. This poor Manager is so far over his head it is comical. He gets told No all of the time, laughed at, and his meetings are ignored.

Hubby is the ring leader of this team, He was the one that created this team back in the day. If Hubby left the team would fall apart, and they know it. So Hubby does what he wants to do, and nothing more. He also throws the young manager under the bus as needed.

Hubby knows he holds power, this Manager often talks about how he does not make enough, and this issue and that issue, that a phone call and a check could make the problem go way. Hubby just shakes his head at this guy daily.   

I FIRED 14 years ago when DD was born, Hubby could FIRE today if he wanted to. But the plan is to have hubby work till DD is through college. Then pull Rule 55. We will see DD will finish her JR year of HS this year. And then she will have 2 years of college at the community college paid for by the school district.

Hubby could work at another company with ease, but the work life balance of this job is off the charts, the health insurance cost us almost nothing and is 5 stars, and 12.5% 401K match is unheard of. So he has made this manager and job a game.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: twinstudy on November 11, 2024, 01:17:27 PM
You don't need FU money to do what you like in the workplace. Anyone who's talented and knows how to work the system will always have an abundance of work opportunities, without having to be a suck up. It's an easy game to play. By the same token, though, anyone with those attributes is likely to be in a good position to gain financial independence, if he or she wants it.

The value of financial independence is that you no longer have to base life decisions and life obligations around money and other limitations. You can pursue a passion, you can more easily choose where you live and with whom you hang out, etc.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 11, 2024, 06:22:58 PM
Quote
Do these women that voluntarily leave the W-2/1099 labor market tend to regret the time they were at home with their children or whatever is it they are now pursuing (gardening/homesteading, entrepreneurship, running for or supporting elected a type of elected office, charity work, writing, music-making, etc.)?  Or are they generally happy with their choices?

Some don't, some do.  At least in my circle, it was stressful when my friend's (who quit work 13 years ago) husband got laid off.  He got a job several months later, but it was a nail biter.  Some of them don't regret it at all, even the ones who ended up divorced and having to figure it all out in their 40s (with a job).

It's about balance.  I have another friend who I hung out with recently - we hadn't really hung out since our kids were 3, and they were seniors together.  "I'm so jealous" - her words to me when I mentioned my mortgage will be paid off by the end of the year.  But: she's got a bigger house, and it cost more (but they bought at a MUCH better time, when the market tanked).  So, that puts them about 20 years behind us on paying off the mortgage, or 25 years, realistically, because they are single income.  On the flip side, man, she has so much more fun than I do.  Several of my friends from that group still get together, because they are only working PT or not at all, and it's a lot more free time! 
@mistymoney - she's a senior in college this year. Comparative religious at a far-right Catholic private university.

Solemnly informed my cousin's DH - with a PhD in philosophy - that they didn't study any modern philosophy, as they are all blasphemous. But Plato and Aristotle are apparently OK.
I've got a friend whose daughter made an offhand comment to her mom that she's going to college to find a husband and stay at home.  Her mom, an accountant, was horrified.  She and her kid's dad are divorced, and kid went to religious school. 
When I read the subject headline I thought this was going to be about not depending on your domestic partner for your financial support.
The trend of romanticizing being a "trad wife" - i.e., a homemaker without a paying job - is definitely surprising in these economic times.  It's like the feminist revolution of the 1970s and 1980s never happened ..

There’s a lot of benefits to having a parent that can stay at home with children before they start kindergarten and also available more readily through their education.

On a forum surrounding early retirement, there’s also an argument in living within a families means so a spouse can stay at home to improve the families quality of life.

100% I'd argue that it would be FAR BETTER for society to be structured so that BOTH parents can work part time and be home part time.  THAT is an improvement in quality of life, potentially, that results in much less risk for the "non working" parent.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: twinstudy on November 11, 2024, 07:08:00 PM
Many families could be structured so that both parents can work part-time. It doesn't happen because people tend to over-consume or aren't willing to make other lifestyle sacrifices.

I'm not saying two min-wage earners can do that, but two median-wage earners certainly can.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: markbike528CBX on November 11, 2024, 07:53:14 PM
My wife worked for a retail company that had a very strong culture of promoting from within. One of the biggest predictors of getting promoted was "willingness to move". Toward the end of her 10 year career at that company she had a few different managers that were younger, less experienced and just didn't know what they were doing. She ran the largest department in the store and her numbers were very good. However, her numbers were never good enough for management, so she ended up quitting. They had 2-3 different replacements that posted worse numbers and corporate decided to close the store within 18 months.

I don't mind having a boss with high expectations that knows what they are doing. However, it continues to amaze me how many bad bosses exist that are a liability to a company, but they continue to get promoted. It shouldn't surprise me, but it still does. 

As the saying goes, "One rises to the level of their incompetence."
That is the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle
as extended by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilbert_principle
"By the Dilbert principle, employees who were never competent are promoted to management to limit the damage they can do."
I think I've seen the Dilbert Principle in action once.   It wasn't my direct organization, so I didn't follow up or track the results.


Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 12, 2024, 05:41:49 AM
My wife worked for a retail company that had a very strong culture of promoting from within. One of the biggest predictors of getting promoted was "willingness to move". Toward the end of her 10 year career at that company she had a few different managers that were younger, less experienced and just didn't know what they were doing. She ran the largest department in the store and her numbers were very good. However, her numbers were never good enough for management, so she ended up quitting. They had 2-3 different replacements that posted worse numbers and corporate decided to close the store within 18 months.

I don't mind having a boss with high expectations that knows what they are doing. However, it continues to amaze me how many bad bosses exist that are a liability to a company, but they continue to get promoted. It shouldn't surprise me, but it still does. 

As the saying goes, "One rises to the level of their incompetence."
That is the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_principle)
as extended by https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilbert_principle (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dilbert_principle)
"By the Dilbert principle, employees who were never competent are promoted to management to limit the damage they can do."
I think I've seen the Dilbert Principle in action once.   It wasn't my direct organization, so I didn't follow up or track the results.


A well-respected Sr. VP at a megacorp at which I worked was interviewed by Fortune magazine who asked how he made it to his lofty perch to which he replied "I guess they just kept promoting me until they found a job I could do, haha".
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 12, 2024, 08:57:11 AM

I've got a friend whose daughter made an offhand comment to her mom that she's going to college to find a husband and stay at home.  Her mom, an accountant, was horrified.  She and her kid's dad are divorced, and kid went to religious school.

It's because it is out there in the schools from other kids who are encouraged to think that way. Around 11 to 12 yo point my daughter absorbed this and would out of the blue say things like "I'm going to marry a rock star" or "I'm going to marry a millionaire".

I'd just calmly reply "why don't you be a rock star?", "Why don't you be a millionaire?" And I'd listen to what she said. Then encourage her to develop her own abilities even if she did marry a rock star.

Spoiler: show
she became quite ambitious! and is persuing her dreams in a creative space while also working professionally for good money






Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: okits on November 12, 2024, 09:18:42 AM

I've got a friend whose daughter made an offhand comment to her mom that she's going to college to find a husband and stay at home.  Her mom, an accountant, was horrified.  She and her kid's dad are divorced, and kid went to religious school.

It's because it is out there in the schools from other kids who are encouraged to think that way. Around 11 to 12 yo point my daughter absorbed this and would out of the blue say things like "I'm going to marry a rock star" or "I'm going to marry a millionaire".

I'd just calmly reply "why don't you be a rock star?", "Why don't you be a millionaire?" And I'd listen to what she said. Then encourage her to develop her own abilities even if she did marry a rock star.

Spoiler: show
she became quite ambitious! and is persuing her dreams in a creative space while also working professionally for good money


👏

Cher's "Mom, I am a rich man" (https://youtu.be/dZsL5R_CR-k) clip.

I like the idea of being with someone because you want to be with them, not because they're a meal ticket.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 12, 2024, 11:01:48 AM
Many families could be structured so that both parents can work part-time. It doesn't happen because people tend to over-consume or aren't willing to make other lifestyle sacrifices.

I'm not saying two min-wage earners can do that, but two median-wage earners certainly can.
The difficulties that we faced when discussing/ considering this (full disclosure, I worked "part time" - 30-35 hours a week - for about 2.5 to 3 years total)
1.  Health insurance - only kicks in at most employers (at least, ours) at 30+ hours a week.
2.  Job titles - legit, my boss decided he would have to demote me at 35 hours a week, so I stayed full time.  But once he quit, my new boss was 100% fine with it.  At 30+ hours a week, I offloaded the BS part of the job and did the higher level stuff and STILL was able to be a manager.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 12, 2024, 12:00:55 PM

I've got a friend whose daughter made an offhand comment to her mom that she's going to college to find a husband and stay at home.  Her mom, an accountant, was horrified.  She and her kid's dad are divorced, and kid went to religious school.

It's because it is out there in the schools from other kids who are encouraged to think that way. Around 11 to 12 yo point my daughter absorbed this and would out of the blue say things like "I'm going to marry a rock star" or "I'm going to marry a millionaire".

I'd just calmly reply "why don't you be a rock star?", "Why don't you be a millionaire?" And I'd listen to what she said. Then encourage her to develop her own abilities even if she did marry a rock star.

Spoiler: show
she became quite ambitious! and is persuing her dreams in a creative space while also working professionally for good money


👏

Cher's "Mom, I am a rich man" (https://youtu.be/dZsL5R_CR-k) clip.

I like the idea of being with someone because you want to be with them, not because they're a meal ticket.

Love that Cher quote!

What annoys me is how young girls are conditioned around aspiring to adult relationships. Starts in the crib with snow white and cinderella. Not that I was perfect by any means, it is all so deeply ingrained in all of us from birth that a lot of it just floats around unnoticed.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: MMMarbleheader on November 12, 2024, 01:05:44 PM
My wife has been a SAHM since a year after we married (25), now 38 and it has been a great choice for us. Having one flexible schedule has been a life saver for working late, planning vacations, kids being sick all the time. My income has gone from $48k (that was tight) to $174k in that time which has helped alot. Hopefully I will join her in 2025.

The tax code is also very helpful to higher income single earner families with Children. At my current wage I only started getting into the 22% tax bracket (after maxing out 401k, HSA) plus you get $2000 per kid in a tax credits, plus I can contribute to a spousal IRA for my wife which is deductible.

As the kids get older, it almost even better to have her home. More activities, more sneaky things they do that you can kick in the ass. Bigger kids bigger problems.

I want my daughter to get a decently paying job she likes when she graduates but if we wanted to be a SAHM I would 100% support her. Her mom will be around to help as well so maybe she could do some part time things. HOWEVER, most men who want stay at home wives dont want the pressure of being the sole income. Being only one income was part of the reason I found FIRE.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Turtle on November 14, 2024, 09:32:25 AM

 <snip>

I want my daughter to get a decently paying job she likes when she graduates but if we wanted to be a SAHM I would 100% support her. Her mom will be around to help as well so maybe she could do some part time things. HOWEVER, most men who want stay at home wives dont want the pressure of being the sole income. Being only one income was part of the reason I found FIRE.

What I’ve shown my daughter is that with sufficient IRA/401k investments now, she can basically be CoastFI by the time she’s ready to have kids which makes the SAHM choice more flexible.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 14, 2024, 09:52:34 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades? 
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 14, 2024, 10:01:20 AM
The whole point of the conversation, to ME, is that BOTH men and women should "learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings, rather than be dependent on a spouse's income."

Self-reliance and independence is critical in this world.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 14, 2024, 10:09:33 AM
The whole point of the conversation, to ME, is that BOTH men and women should "learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings, rather than be dependent on a spouse's income."

Self-reliance and independence is critical in this world.
I agree completely but it's still rare to hear people say "I 100% support my son's decision to be a SAHD and dependent on his spouse's income" as several people said about their daughters up thread.  Fwiw, as a clueless crazy cat lady childless person, I think most parents want to see their kids become self sufficient and have the ability to be self supporting and be able to be a SAHP if they want to.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GuitarStv on November 14, 2024, 10:13:39 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?

I wouldn't.  Not because he's my son, but because I'm a fan of safety and backup plans.  Everyone should have a marketable skill of some kind that they can go to in case things fall apart.  For a stay at home parent, a divorce is likely going to require that they find a job.  I'd want any kid of mine to be able to weather that and not feel trapped in a miserable marriage because they don't have other options.  Once he has that backup plan, then being a stay at home parent is totally fine.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 14, 2024, 10:14:03 AM
The whole point of the conversation, to ME, is that BOTH men and women should "learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings, rather than be dependent on a spouse's income."

Self-reliance and independence is critical in this world.
I agree completely but it's still rare to hear people say "I 100% support my son's decision to be a SAHD and dependent on his spouse's income" as several people said up thread.  FWIW as a clueless crazy cat lady childless person I think most parents want to see their kids become self sufficient and have the ability to be self supporting and be able to be a SAHP if they want to.

The problem is that being a SAHP rarely means FI.

The SocSec record is minimal, savings are minimal, and debt is high for most folks that I see in this situation. And the reason that the woman is normally the SAHP is that her earnings are already interrupted with ST Disability due to pregnancy, so why not hollow out her job skills, advancement, and LT employability by having *her* be the one to stay home with the kid?

It becomes easy for the harm to accrue primarily to the woman.

If it were possible to delay childbearing to age 40, when careers, savings, and some SocSec record is solid, it would be an easier situation. But fertility doesn't typically wait.

It's why I strongly encourage women to work at least PT after the kids are 5+ - the woman isn't so vulnerable to financial abuse, because she has a network and current job skills.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 14, 2024, 10:34:51 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Nope.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: the lorax on November 14, 2024, 12:23:13 PM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
I'm along the same lines as what GuitarStv said for a son and no way in hell would I encourage a hypothetical daughter to plan for the trad wife approach.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: simonsez on November 14, 2024, 01:46:00 PM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Sandi_k and GuitarStv already gave excellent responses.  I would not encourage any daughter or son to avoid learning workplace skills and instead be a stay-at-home parent (or plan to be one).  That sounds like they became pregnant (or made someone pregnant) at 18 or some other unprepared age by mistake and you're just dealing with the fallout.  That certainly happens and you can pivot to make the best of it but it's not something to be encouraged during young adult and adolescent years IMO.

I just don't know why it has it to be an either/or instead of both being a stay-at-home parent and having workplace skills and experience, and that goes for sons and daughters.  Call the reason(s) feminism, the demographic transition, post WW2 labor markets, an emphasis on tertiary education, whatever - but I feel like most developed societies are generally pushing children to have value beyond (but not in lieu of, necessarily) their fecundity and childrearing abilities, and that in acquiring this value it will directly and indirectly push the age of having children to later in life (when a person is likely to have more $ as well).  Having competency also lends itself to not being stuck in a crappy work situation, you are more likely to have the confidence and the wherewithal to move to greener pastures instead of being/feeling stuck.

@LaineyAZ thanks for your response, I agree with you in the grand scheme and admit to being a bit naive/overconfident in my own household's situation.  My wife has many marketable skills and I have no doubt if/when she wants to return to the workforce (tentative plan is ~3-4 years from now but we shall see, could be earlier, could be later, could be never), she will be successful in the long run (even if it takes her a little bit to get "back in" and not be underemployed).  If she didn't have any marketable skills to start with or was not pursuing any avenues of acquiring some, I wouldn't have been that interested in anything beyond a short-term physical fling (with protection!) to begin with, but that's off-topic.  To each their own with long-term mate selection!  We will do our best to raise our future daughter in an environment where she is in control of the life she wants to create.

I also think it's important for young people to be exposed to various jobs even if they have a good idea of what they want to do and be after whichever level of education they need to complete.  Go work in a factory one summer, go wait tables, go deliver food, go sucker horseradish, go pour asphalt, babysit, walk dogs, mow grass, lifeguard, replace roofs, install windows, whatever.  If you like it, great.  If not, you have money in your pocket, will have been exposed to various types of people that aren't always present in a young person's bubble, will have learned something (possibly about yourself or at least how to start balancing priorities), and you will be motivated for a career that is NOT related to what you were doing as a teenager over the summers or while you were going to school.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Louise on November 15, 2024, 09:01:33 AM
My boss said a jerky thing to me in a meeting and I called him out on it (it wasn't on purpose, more of a bad optics thing, but I was totally in the right). Haha- he was not expecting that, especially because I'm generally mild mannered. He actually avoided me for about two months and then I was moved to a new boss during a reorg. We were FI too, so didn't care if I was fired. It's a very helpful thing to have in your back pocket!

Now I want to know what he said!

And how you so wonderfully parried him with "Not today, F*cker!"

:-)

Now I can't even remember the exact words. It was a while ago. The gist was that my job wasn't really that important in a big meeting in front of all my peers and some of the higher ups. I was mad. I'll admit it wasn't the busiest of jobs, but how can you have so little respect? Plus it looks bad for him because he was my boss! I was a pleasant, cheerful person and I helped a lot of people with their problems. I kept my cool, but let him have it right after. hahaha I'm still surprised because I'm admittedly a people pleaser by nature.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on November 15, 2024, 10:21:06 AM
LOL, thanks. That was indeed a jerky thing to say, and I applaud your chutzpah in calling him out. Maybe he'll think twice before belittling his team members in the future.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 16, 2024, 08:56:15 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Sandi_k and GuitarStv already gave excellent responses.  I would not encourage any daughter or son to avoid learning workplace skills and instead be a stay-at-home parent (or plan to be one).  That sounds like they became pregnant (or made someone pregnant) at 18 or some other unprepared age by mistake and you're just dealing with the fallout.  That certainly happens and you can pivot to make the best of it but it's not something to be encouraged during young adult and adolescent years IMO.

I just don't know why it has it to be an either/or instead of both being a stay-at-home parent and having workplace skills and experience, and that goes for sons and daughters.  Call the reason(s) feminism, the demographic transition, post WW2 labor markets, an emphasis on tertiary education, whatever - but I feel like most developed societies are generally pushing children to have value beyond (but not in lieu of, necessarily) their fecundity and childrearing abilities, and that in acquiring this value it will directly and indirectly push the age of having children to later in life (when a person is likely to have more $ as well).  Having competency also lends itself to not being stuck in a crappy work situation, you are more likely to have the confidence and the wherewithal to move to greener pastures instead of being/feeling stuck.

@LaineyAZ thanks for your response, I agree with you in the grand scheme and admit to being a bit naive/overconfident in my own household's situation.  My wife has many marketable skills and I have no doubt if/when she wants to return to the workforce (tentative plan is ~3-4 years from now but we shall see, could be earlier, could be later, could be never), she will be successful in the long run (even if it takes her a little bit to get "back in" and not be underemployed).  If she didn't have any marketable skills to start with or was not pursuing any avenues of acquiring some, I wouldn't have been that interested in anything beyond a short-term physical fling (with protection!) to begin with, but that's off-topic.  To each their own with long-term mate selection!  We will do our best to raise our future daughter in an environment where she is in control of the life she wants to create.

I also think it's important for young people to be exposed to various jobs even if they have a good idea of what they want to do and be after whichever level of education they need to complete.  Go work in a factory one summer, go wait tables, go deliver food, go sucker horseradish, go pour asphalt, babysit, walk dogs, mow grass, lifeguard, replace roofs, install windows, whatever.  If you like it, great.  If not, you have money in your pocket, will have been exposed to various types of people that aren't always present in a young person's bubble, will have learned something (possibly about yourself or at least how to start balancing priorities), and you will be motivated for a career that is NOT related to what you were doing as a teenager over the summers or while you were going to school.
Sorry if my post came off as trollish - it did - but I was genuinely curious if some of the posters would have the same mind set about their sons being a SAHP and not having careers for a long time (and often being left far behind on the career path as many SAHPs are) making it harder to become FI. Unfortunately there's still a double standard out there  abut "who should work and who should be a SAHP) so it's nice to see more people both accepting, encouraging and supporting their kids to do what they want.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mistymoney on November 16, 2024, 01:35:26 PM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Sandi_k and GuitarStv already gave excellent responses.  I would not encourage any daughter or son to avoid learning workplace skills and instead be a stay-at-home parent (or plan to be one).  That sounds like they became pregnant (or made someone pregnant) at 18 or some other unprepared age by mistake and you're just dealing with the fallout.  That certainly happens and you can pivot to make the best of it but it's not something to be encouraged during young adult and adolescent years IMO.

I just don't know why it has it to be an either/or instead of both being a stay-at-home parent and having workplace skills and experience, and that goes for sons and daughters.  Call the reason(s) feminism, the demographic transition, post WW2 labor markets, an emphasis on tertiary education, whatever - but I feel like most developed societies are generally pushing children to have value beyond (but not in lieu of, necessarily) their fecundity and childrearing abilities, and that in acquiring this value it will directly and indirectly push the age of having children to later in life (when a person is likely to have more $ as well).  Having competency also lends itself to not being stuck in a crappy work situation, you are more likely to have the confidence and the wherewithal to move to greener pastures instead of being/feeling stuck.

@LaineyAZ thanks for your response, I agree with you in the grand scheme and admit to being a bit naive/overconfident in my own household's situation.  My wife has many marketable skills and I have no doubt if/when she wants to return to the workforce (tentative plan is ~3-4 years from now but we shall see, could be earlier, could be later, could be never), she will be successful in the long run (even if it takes her a little bit to get "back in" and not be underemployed).  If she didn't have any marketable skills to start with or was not pursuing any avenues of acquiring some, I wouldn't have been that interested in anything beyond a short-term physical fling (with protection!) to begin with, but that's off-topic.  To each their own with long-term mate selection!  We will do our best to raise our future daughter in an environment where she is in control of the life she wants to create.

I also think it's important for young people to be exposed to various jobs even if they have a good idea of what they want to do and be after whichever level of education they need to complete.  Go work in a factory one summer, go wait tables, go deliver food, go sucker horseradish, go pour asphalt, babysit, walk dogs, mow grass, lifeguard, replace roofs, install windows, whatever.  If you like it, great.  If not, you have money in your pocket, will have been exposed to various types of people that aren't always present in a young person's bubble, will have learned something (possibly about yourself or at least how to start balancing priorities), and you will be motivated for a career that is NOT related to what you were doing as a teenager over the summers or while you were going to school.
Sorry if my post came off as trollish - it did - but I was genuinely curious if some of the posters would have the same mind set about their sons being a SAHP and not having careers for a long time (and often being left far behind on the career path as many SAHPs are) making it harder to become FI. Unfortunately there's still a double standard out there  abut "who should work and who should be a SAHP) so it's nice to see more people both accepting, encouraging and supporting their kids to do what they want.

I wouldn't exactly encourage it for DD or DS, but I'd be more inclined to MMOB unless asked about it if they were somewhat on the fence. My advice would be the same whether it was my own child or their partner who was contemplating being a SAHP

Things to consider in what I would say - if asked!
how long in work force - if 10 years, then they are pretty solid, real experience, soc sec and medicare qualified, than someone out of college.
level of assets - if FI, who cares! if coast FI is in the bag in a short amount of time, 5 or so years (not 20), then also - who cares!
level of savings if not close to FI - if saving at least 10-15% on one income, then seems doable.
ability/willingness to work part time to keep a toe in, ability in terms of time and availability of same-level work on a pt basis - not just anything
level of free help/family nearby - if not help at all, SAHP makes more sense
Have they considered a SAHG* instead?




*SAHG being stay at home granny! But if both kids wanted that and were in different states as they are now, then I'd be pressed on what to do!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 17, 2024, 12:09:03 AM
^^^or stay at home granddaddy lol.

I do think women are given a bit of lee way by potential employers and other people in general  when taking long periods off work then most men. I could say I quit my job at 36 to be a care giver or raise kids or be a trailing spouse to support a DHs career for the past 10 or 20 years and most people wouldn't bat an eye. But I'm not so sure that would be the case with males,  and a long work break might be a bit of a red flag for many employers. 

One of the things talked about here sometimes is whether or not a SAH spouse is FI or not if, in the event of a divorce or unemployment of the earning spouse, they have to go back to work? Or if they can continue to  FI (even a leaner FI) or not. So as a couple they might be FI but as 2 singles they may not be. Lots of people who are dependent on either a working spouse's income or joint assets to be FI would call themselves FI and maybe RE or even that they have FU money based on a spouse's earnings but wouldn't be if they divorced.  That was mentioned up thread as a reason to stash more then you need as a couple in case of a split or long unemployment.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Wolfpack Mustachian on November 17, 2024, 04:51:34 AM
^^^or stay at home granddaddy lol.

I do think women are given a bit of lee way by potential employers and other people in general  when taking long periods off work then most men. I could say I quit my job at 36 to be a care giver or raise kids or be a trailing spouse to support a DHs career for the past 10 or 20 years and most people wouldn't bat an eye. But I'm not so sure that would be the case with males,  and a long work break might be a bit of a red flag for many employers. 

One of the things talked about here sometimes is whether or not a SAH spouse is FI or not if, in the event of a divorce or unemployment of the earning spouse, they have to go back to work? Or if they can continue to  FI (even a leaner FI) or not. So as a couple they might be FI but as 2 singles they may not be. Lots of people who are dependent on either a working spouse's income or joint assets to be FI would call themselves FI and maybe RE or even that they have FU money based on a spouse's earnings but wouldn't be if they divorced.  That was mentioned up thread as a reason to stash more then you need as a couple in case of a split or long unemployment.

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sunnytimes on November 17, 2024, 05:24:08 AM
I can say from first-hand experience that it is important to make sure you can support yourself. My sweet husband of 25 years passed away from an out-of-the-blue aggressive cancer within 9 months. He was only 54--a life-altering nightmare for us both on so many levels. Thankfully, though, I have a good career and can maintain our home, expenses, retirement contributions, etc. without his salary (while he was sick and after he died.) He did not have life insurance (which is another story--I tell anyone who will listen to ensure they have term-life at the very least.)  I couldn't imagine mourning his loss AND worrying about how to keep a roof over my head, pay bills, etc. For that I'm grateful my parents raised me to not be dependent on another because you just never know.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: ATtiny85 on November 17, 2024, 06:32:22 AM

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.

Maybe the guy wasn’t a very good engineer, or maybe just a bad communicator.

I took a six year break after undergrad engineering degree (Army) and feared difficulty finding a technical engineering position. Hit the reset button by going to grad school and getting a MS.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Wolfpack Mustachian on November 17, 2024, 07:49:04 AM

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.

Maybe the guy wasn’t a very good engineer, or maybe just a bad communicator.

I took a six year break after undergrad engineering degree (Army) and feared difficulty finding a technical engineering position. Hit the reset button by going to grad school and getting a MS.

Certainly possible. He seemed relatively well adjusted, but I was young. It just stuck with me as a warning for the risks of taking career breaks.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 17, 2024, 08:44:35 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Nope.


It can be a very touchy subject around here, historically.  Some will say that evidence demonstrates, all things being equal, raising pre-K kids is best done by a loving stay at home parent and a second attentive parent that is around outside work hours.  There are others who will vehemently argue that 10-12 hours of day care in a crowded facility from a few months onward is harmless and allows both parents to pursue their rightful careers, uninterrupted.  A few may argue the middle ground of a live-in nanny supporting 1-2 WFH parents.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 17, 2024, 09:22:38 AM

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.

Maybe the guy wasn’t a very good engineer, or maybe just a bad communicator.

I took a six year break after undergrad engineering degree (Army) and feared difficulty finding a technical engineering position. Hit the reset button by going to grad school and getting a MS.
Were you in the Army those 6 years? If so that's likely a plus for many employers. Even if you weren't working in the profession you trained for as a civilian, you were still working and not lying on a sunny beach drinking Monday morning mimosas after some beach volleyball ;-).

 I think potential employers want to know what you were doing durning long work breaks when hiring. There's lots of ways to explain those gaps - many like being in school, military service, pro-athlete, or SAHP are easily provable. Athough saying you were a SAHP if you don't have kids might be harder but someone could say caregiver. Other long gaps in employment might be harder to explain - especially if they are very long - and make it more difficult to get a job again. Add the loss of skills and knowledge that likely happens with a big employment gap if someone's looking to be hired or re-hired into their former career.  I'd probably be pretty unemployable right now (other then burger flipper) after a 20 year FIRE but at least I could lie and tell a potential employer I had put my career on hold to be a SAHP or caregiver or to.support a DHs military career and they'd accept that even if I was just really a slacker beach bum.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jeninco on November 17, 2024, 09:26:07 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Nope.


It can be a very touchy subject around here, historically.  Some will say that evidence demonstrates, all things being equal, raising pre-K kids is best done by a loving stay at home parent and a second attentive parent that is around outside work hours.  There are others who will vehemently argue that 10-12 hours of day care in a crowded facility from a few months onward is harmless and allows both parents to pursue their rightful careers, uninterrupted.  A few may argue the middle ground of a live-in nanny supporting 1-2 WFH parents.

Oh stop. There are obviously options between "work all the hours, stick the kids in crappy daycare for 100+ hours per week" and "one of you -- probably the female one -- should significantly decrease her lifetime earnings (and salary, and retirement benefits) by staying home indefinitely, because "women naturally want to stay home with baybeees"". And your "middle ground" is barely available to the most highly-paid families, so knock it off!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 17, 2024, 10:00:30 AM
I can say from first-hand experience that it is important to make sure you can support yourself. My sweet husband of 25 years passed away from an out-of-the-blue aggressive cancer within 9 months. He was only 54--a life-altering nightmare for us both on so many levels. Thankfully, though, I have a good career and can maintain our home, expenses, retirement contributions, etc. without his salary (while he was sick and after he died.) He did not have life insurance (which is another story--I tell anyone who will listen to ensure they have term-life at the very least.)  I couldn't imagine mourning his loss AND worrying about how to keep a roof over my head, pay bills, etc. For that I'm grateful my parents raised me to not be dependent on another because you just never know.
So very sorry @Sunnytimes but that's a good point. Losing a partner, their income and maybe their assets, while dealing with their death (and maybe huge medical bills) would be extremely hard if not FI or at least able to support yourself. Have life insurance is at least a good hedge against possible poverty.

Same for dealing with divorce or a life altering illness or injury. I'm divorced (no kids) so for me (and ex-DH as well as current SO) it's important for us to be FI separately so if something like death, divorce or a long term illness or injury happened we'd each be able to keep being FI/RE. Or be self supporting if still working. Having to split all your shared assets and losing one partners income  (maybe the only income if someone is a SAHS) while having to pay all expenses on your own can be tough.  I know there's life insurance and  disability insurance but maybe there should be divorce insurance too!

Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Ladychips on November 17, 2024, 10:59:31 AM
I know there's life insurance and  disability insurance but maybe there should be divorce insurance too!

My most favorite thing about this forum is when someone says something that has never crossed my mind and makes me go hmmm. I just wanted to say thanks for the new thought @spartana!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 17, 2024, 11:05:30 AM
I know there's life insurance and  disability insurance but maybe there should be divorce insurance too!

My most favorite thing about this forum is when someone says something that has never crossed my mind and makes me go hmmm. I just wanted to say thanks for the new thought @spartana!


Et voila!


https://www.boydlawsacramento.com/what-is-divorce-insurance/
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 17, 2024, 04:33:22 PM
I know there's life insurance and  disability insurance but maybe there should be divorce insurance too!

My most favorite thing about this forum is when someone says something that has never crossed my mind and makes me go hmmm. I just wanted to say thanks for the new thought @spartana!
I'm not sure how they'd do it  - maybe a policy that pays each party x amount of money upon divorce - but I guess it could be a "thing" that's separate from a pre-nup. Although I can see the potential for fraud where couples divorce to get that money then continue to shack up together. I guess that's better than one spouse murdering the other for their life insurance LOL.

ETA: Just saw @GilesMM post that it already exists! I never heard of it before.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 18, 2024, 11:24:50 AM
^^^or stay at home granddaddy lol.

I do think women are given a bit of lee way by potential employers and other people in general  when taking long periods off work then most men. I could say I quit my job at 36 to be a care giver or raise kids or be a trailing spouse to support a DHs career for the past 10 or 20 years and most people wouldn't bat an eye. But I'm not so sure that would be the case with males,  and a long work break might be a bit of a red flag for many employers. 

One of the things talked about here sometimes is whether or not a SAH spouse is FI or not if, in the event of a divorce or unemployment of the earning spouse, they have to go back to work? Or if they can continue to  FI (even a leaner FI) or not. So as a couple they might be FI but as 2 singles they may not be. Lots of people who are dependent on either a working spouse's income or joint assets to be FI would call themselves FI and maybe RE or even that they have FU money based on a spouse's earnings but wouldn't be if they divorced.  That was mentioned up thread as a reason to stash more then you need as a couple in case of a split or long unemployment.

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.
She sure would have, except she would be paid less.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 18, 2024, 11:33:06 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Nope.


It can be a very touchy subject around here, historically.  Some will say that evidence demonstrates, all things being equal, raising pre-K kids is best done by a loving stay at home parent and a second attentive parent that is around outside work hours.  There are others who will vehemently argue that 10-12 hours of day care in a crowded facility from a few months onward is harmless and allows both parents to pursue their rightful careers, uninterrupted.  A few may argue the middle ground of a live-in nanny supporting 1-2 WFH parents.

Oh stop. There are obviously options between "work all the hours, stick the kids in crappy daycare for 100+ hours per week" and "one of you -- probably the female one -- should significantly decrease her lifetime earnings (and salary, and retirement benefits) by staying home indefinitely, because "women naturally want to stay home with baybeees"". And your "middle ground" is barely available to the most highly-paid families, so knock it off!
Thanks @jeninco you saved me from having to say the same thing. 

"People would say..." whatever.

Most of the evidence (you know, meta-analyses) shows no difference with 2 working parents vs 1 SAHP. 

Also, the average amount of time a child is in daycare is 30-35 hours a week.  That's the average of all kids in daycare, not the average of all children.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Wolfpack Mustachian on November 18, 2024, 03:06:38 PM
^^^or stay at home granddaddy lol.

I do think women are given a bit of lee way by potential employers and other people in general  when taking long periods off work then most men. I could say I quit my job at 36 to be a care giver or raise kids or be a trailing spouse to support a DHs career for the past 10 or 20 years and most people wouldn't bat an eye. But I'm not so sure that would be the case with males,  and a long work break might be a bit of a red flag for many employers. 

One of the things talked about here sometimes is whether or not a SAH spouse is FI or not if, in the event of a divorce or unemployment of the earning spouse, they have to go back to work? Or if they can continue to  FI (even a leaner FI) or not. So as a couple they might be FI but as 2 singles they may not be. Lots of people who are dependent on either a working spouse's income or joint assets to be FI would call themselves FI and maybe RE or even that they have FU money based on a spouse's earnings but wouldn't be if they divorced.  That was mentioned up thread as a reason to stash more then you need as a couple in case of a split or long unemployment.

I worked with a guy early on when I was interning that had taken off several years as an engineer to take care of his child when they were born. He got an engineering job back afterwards, but it was a third shift job that seemed to be the only one he could find. I wondered if a woman would have been in the same situation.
She sure would have, except she would be paid less.

And that's certainly possible. I can anecdotally attest to pay discrepancy as I've seen it. I haven't really seen many people with huge holes in their working resumes except this guy, so I have no knowledge on the subject. I was just thinking about it in regards to the conversation because I could see the effect in this situation.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Treedream on November 19, 2024, 01:46:58 AM
To espond to the original post. Yes being FI is really a peace of mind. But you don't need to be FI to be safe if your job becomes untenable. All you need is the will to go look elsewhere and a good emergency fund in case it really becomes untenable. Saying you need to be FI before you can make any moves or have any security seems very scared and stuck. Why would you not look around if your job is awefull?
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: twinstudy on November 19, 2024, 03:30:03 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Laura33 on November 19, 2024, 11:49:27 AM
^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?

I wouldn't.  Not because he's my son, but because I'm a fan of safety and backup plans.  Everyone should have a marketable skill of some kind that they can go to in case things fall apart.  For a stay at home parent, a divorce is likely going to require that they find a job.  I'd want any kid of mine to be able to weather that and not feel trapped in a miserable marriage because they don't have other options.  Once he has that backup plan, then being a stay at home parent is totally fine.

+1000.  I also want my kids to do things that engage them and that they find interesting.  I love my kids, but BOY am I not a little-kid person.  If either one of my kids is a little-kid person, then I'd absolutely support them SAH.  But I wouldn't want one of them to feel pressured to SAH if that's not what works for them.  Every mom, dad, and kid is different; the only thing that matters is finding something that works for everyone involved. 

^^^ Curious if you all (the generic you all) would encourage (support the decision) your sons to be SAHD rather than learn a marketable skill and develop a work history and have some savings  rather then be dependant on a spouse's income for years or decades?
Nope.


It can be a very touchy subject around here, historically.  Some will say that evidence demonstrates, all things being equal, raising pre-K kids is best done by a loving stay at home parent and a second attentive parent that is around outside work hours.  There are others who will vehemently argue that 10-12 hours of day care in a crowded facility from a few months onward is harmless and allows both parents to pursue their rightful careers, uninterrupted.  A few may argue the middle ground of a live-in nanny supporting 1-2 WFH parents.

Oh stop. There are obviously options between "work all the hours, stick the kids in crappy daycare for 100+ hours per week" and "one of you -- probably the female one -- should significantly decrease her lifetime earnings (and salary, and retirement benefits) by staying home indefinitely, because "women naturally want to stay home with baybeees"". And your "middle ground" is barely available to the most highly-paid families, so knock it off!
Thanks @jeninco you saved me from having to say the same thing. 

Ditto.

Not to get us off-track (meaning:  now I'm going to get us off-track), but it is interesting to me that folks assume that full-time one-on-one family care is always optimal.  I mean, I had grandparent care when I was little.  They adored me.  My Granny, Grandad, and Grandpa also smoked.  Was I better off with them than in a smoke-free daycare?  Who knows?  I mean, I was loved, but I've also had asthma and terrible allergies since I was very little.   

This was really brought home to me with my DD.  I am introverted and unscheduled; she is extremely extroverted, active, and craves a day filled with activities in pre-scheduled 15-minute increments.  She adored going to daycare -- they had much better toys, a predictable schedule, and many many many more people to interact with.  They did a waaaayyy better job with her than I would have.  Not to mention that all-day, every-day with her left me on the edge of cracking; I was a much better parent when I had hours to myself every day to recharge and prepare for the post-daycare energy-and-attention onslaught.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: dcheesi on November 19, 2024, 03:00:43 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 19, 2024, 06:41:12 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

Same.  I know some of these people personally, too.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: wageslave23 on November 19, 2024, 08:45:38 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.

Getting another job is the easy part. Wanting to work at another job is the more difficult part. Especially as you get more seniority, set in your ways, develop your niche and client relationships, mold your job and others expectations over many years, etc.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on November 21, 2024, 09:49:26 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

Same.  I know some of these people personally, too.
I've known many of these people in the past, during previous layoff/ downturns.  And they are great people, highly talented, hard workers.  If there aren't enough jobs, some people will be unemployed for awhile.

(Also, consider that there may be jobs in other locations - I'm in my 50s, as are many of my friends, and moving to another city or state isn't going to happen - so you are stuck with the job openings in your city.  Not that you CAN'T move - but we are a 2-career couple, and it's not just one job, it's two.)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: the lorax on November 21, 2024, 05:10:22 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.


I don't agree- there's a ton of ageism, sexism, racism and other forms of conscious and unconscious bias that get in the way of logical hiring decisions - plenty of people who are/would be good at the job don't get a look in whilst others who are totally mediocre or worse but fit the mould stay employed. It all gets worse when unemployment spikes of course.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: neo von retorch on November 21, 2024, 08:30:00 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

I'm a super versatile experienced (25 years) software engineer with 2 years of self-taught data science experience, plenty of cloud / devops experience.

I've only been VERY casually looking for the past 5 months, but I have had exactly ZERO response to my (multiple versions) resumes in that time. Note that because I'm furloughed and collecting unemployment, I have to submit my resume to 2 positions each week.

The last time (and every time) I've looked for a job, I had an offer within 3 weeks of starting to look. (Most of my career, I've been recruited out of the blue with no effort on my part.) My current job was one where I knew a guy who knew a guy, and I interviewed, but at the time they went with someone more junior and affordable. Then a year later, they called me and gave me what I asked for (which was higher than what I'd asked for a year earlier.) They didn't have me re-interview. I've been there 5 years, but am now furloughed due to a bunch of misfortunes affecting our company; no fault of our own. (High interest rates, low venture capital pool, one client went bankrupt which hurt us in multiple ways, another client had an unexpected CEO death! Other projects are pending but not yet signed. And so on.)

Maybe I'm "suddenly" bad at my job ;) or maybe, just maybe, the over-hiring during COVID, the lay-offs of 2023, and the "return to office" mandate (which is another form of layoffs) just maybe indicates a big shift in the tech job market?



There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GuitarStv on November 21, 2024, 09:19:50 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.


I don't agree- there's a ton of ageism, sexism, racism and other forms of conscious and unconscious bias that get in the way of logical hiring decisions - plenty of people who are/would be good at the job don't get a look in whilst others who are totally mediocre or worse but fit the mould stay employed. It all gets worse when unemployment spikes of course.

I worked in aerospace for a while.  Big contract, tons of people hired.  Contract ends, tons of people get fired.  It's very cyclical and there's no serious attempt to hold on to good people when you're firing 90% of the engineers.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 22, 2024, 05:30:24 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.


I don't agree- there's a ton of ageism, sexism, racism and other forms of conscious and unconscious bias that get in the way of logical hiring decisions - plenty of people who are/would be good at the job don't get a look in whilst others who are totally mediocre or worse but fit the mould stay employed. It all gets worse when unemployment spikes of course.

And also, the more senior you are, the more expensive you are.  It doesn't matter if you're also very good if you're expensive and they're looking to "reduce opex".
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 22, 2024, 05:32:31 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

I'm a super versatile experienced (25 years) software engineer with 2 years of self-taught data science experience, plenty of cloud / devops experience.

I've only been VERY casually looking for the past 5 months, but I have had exactly ZERO response to my (multiple versions) resumes in that time. Note that because I'm furloughed and collecting unemployment, I have to submit my resume to 2 positions each week.

The last time (and every time) I've looked for a job, I had an offer within 3 weeks of starting to look. (Most of my career, I've been recruited out of the blue with no effort on my part.) My current job was one where I knew a guy who knew a guy, and I interviewed, but at the time they went with someone more junior and affordable. Then a year later, they called me and gave me what I asked for (which was higher than what I'd asked for a year earlier.) They didn't have me re-interview. I've been there 5 years, but am now furloughed due to a bunch of misfortunes affecting our company; no fault of our own. (High interest rates, low venture capital pool, one client went bankrupt which hurt us in multiple ways, another client had an unexpected CEO death! Other projects are pending but not yet signed. And so on.)

Maybe I'm "suddenly" bad at my job ;) or maybe, just maybe, the over-hiring during COVID, the lay-offs of 2023, and the "return to office" mandate (which is another form of layoffs) just maybe indicates a big shift in the tech job market?



There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

This matches what I've been seeing and hearing.  Very, very different job market right now for tech/white collar jobs.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jinga nation on November 22, 2024, 05:34:14 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.


I don't agree- there's a ton of ageism, sexism, racism and other forms of conscious and unconscious bias that get in the way of logical hiring decisions - plenty of people who are/would be good at the job don't get a look in whilst others who are totally mediocre or worse but fit the mould stay employed. It all gets worse when unemployment spikes of course.

I worked in aerospace for a while.  Big contract, tons of people hired.  Contract ends, tons of people get fired.  It's very cyclical and there's no serious attempt to hold on to good people when you're firing 90% of the engineers.

One of the reasons I learned early in the defense aerospace sector; job is dependent on the whims of some committee and/or pork barrel of local politician and/or congress voting on a spending bill. Left that shit behind and moved into IT. Because everyone needs it, and is increasingly becoming more reliant on the network/compute/storage/etc with their fondleslab screens. And IT got me to FI faster than if I had stayed in mil-aero sector. Also, less management assholes to deal with in IT world, and less racism and sexism. (Worked at a MegaCorp that started with Honey, ended in Well.... )
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 2sk22 on November 22, 2024, 05:43:41 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: dcheesi on November 22, 2024, 05:54:32 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

I'm a super versatile experienced (25 years) software engineer with 2 years of self-taught data science experience, plenty of cloud / devops experience.

I've only been VERY casually looking for the past 5 months, but I have had exactly ZERO response to my (multiple versions) resumes in that time. Note that because I'm furloughed and collecting unemployment, I have to submit my resume to 2 positions each week.

The last time (and every time) I've looked for a job, I had an offer within 3 weeks of starting to look. (Most of my career, I've been recruited out of the blue with no effort on my part.) My current job was one where I knew a guy who knew a guy, and I interviewed, but at the time they went with someone more junior and affordable. Then a year later, they called me and gave me what I asked for (which was higher than what I'd asked for a year earlier.) They didn't have me re-interview. I've been there 5 years, but am now furloughed due to a bunch of misfortunes affecting our company; no fault of our own. (High interest rates, low venture capital pool, one client went bankrupt which hurt us in multiple ways, another client had an unexpected CEO death! Other projects are pending but not yet signed. And so on.)

Maybe I'm "suddenly" bad at my job ;) or maybe, just maybe, the over-hiring during COVID, the lay-offs of 2023, and the "return to office" mandate (which is another form of layoffs) just maybe indicates a big shift in the tech job market?



There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!
What I can't figure out is exactly why this drought is so prolonged? I mean, yeah, obviously after FAANG did mass layoffs couple of years ago, there's gonna be a glut for a little while. But part of the explanation for those layoffs was supposed to be correcting for the previous over-hiring during the pandemic, so that should have just put us back at 2019 conditions (albeit with a lot more FAANG name-drops on resumés). But it really feels like a much deeper and more persistent change in the tech job market.

And on the other side of the coin, this all started before "AI" became ubiquitous, so I can't see "ChatGPT took er jerbs!!1!" being the answer, either. Which only makes me wonder how much worse it's gonna get when that does become a major factor?
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 2sk22 on November 22, 2024, 06:00:52 AM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.
Dunno, I've been reading numerous horror stories about the state of tech job hiring atm. Seemingly qualified people spending months and months looking, and getting zero offers. Perhaps they're all just bad at their jobs, or (more likely) bad at interviewing? But it's enough to give me pause as a tech worker myself.

I'm a super versatile experienced (25 years) software engineer with 2 years of self-taught data science experience, plenty of cloud / devops experience.

I've only been VERY casually looking for the past 5 months, but I have had exactly ZERO response to my (multiple versions) resumes in that time. Note that because I'm furloughed and collecting unemployment, I have to submit my resume to 2 positions each week.

The last time (and every time) I've looked for a job, I had an offer within 3 weeks of starting to look. (Most of my career, I've been recruited out of the blue with no effort on my part.) My current job was one where I knew a guy who knew a guy, and I interviewed, but at the time they went with someone more junior and affordable. Then a year later, they called me and gave me what I asked for (which was higher than what I'd asked for a year earlier.) They didn't have me re-interview. I've been there 5 years, but am now furloughed due to a bunch of misfortunes affecting our company; no fault of our own. (High interest rates, low venture capital pool, one client went bankrupt which hurt us in multiple ways, another client had an unexpected CEO death! Other projects are pending but not yet signed. And so on.)

Maybe I'm "suddenly" bad at my job ;) or maybe, just maybe, the over-hiring during COVID, the lay-offs of 2023, and the "return to office" mandate (which is another form of layoffs) just maybe indicates a big shift in the tech job market?



There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!
What I can't figure out is exactly why this drought is so prolonged? I mean, yeah, obviously after FAANG did mass layoffs couple of years ago, there's gonna be a glut for a little while. But part of the explanation for those layoffs was supposed to be correcting for the previous over-hiring during the pandemic, so that should have just put us back at 2019 conditions (albeit with a lot more FAANG name-drops on resumés). But it really feels like a much deeper and more persistent change in the tech job market.

And on the other side of the coin, this all started before "AI" became ubiquitous, so I can't see "ChatGPT took er jerbs!!1!" being the answer, either. Which only makes me wonder how much worse it's gonna get when that does become a major factor?


You need to go back to the five years between 2000 and 2005 to find a similar period in terms of tech employment. After the Dotcom bubble collapsed, software development jobs were very hard to come by for many years. I was grateful to just be employed at that time. I had to go way outside my field to find any work at all.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 22, 2024, 06:37:01 AM
The tech layoffs are tapering off so conditions could improve going forward, especially for AI, cloud and cybersecurity experts.


(https://cdn.ibj.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/TechJobs_Chart-1024x571.png)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: twinstudy on November 22, 2024, 06:53:06 AM
In my comments about job security, I wasn't suggesting that you would never be laid off, but that there should always be an alternative to hop to. I'm no longer an employee, but when  I was, I was constantly in the ear of recruiters so that I had a plan B and C in case my current firm wasn't going well or wasn't acceding to pay demands. Employers are replaceable, so treat them accordingly.

Quote
And on the other side of the coin, this all started before "AI" became ubiquitous, so I can't see "ChatGPT took er jerbs!!1!" being the answer, either. Which only makes me wonder how much worse it's gonna get when that does become a major factor?

Can't see AI ever supplanting most skilled human jobs. AI for instance can transcribe to some extent but we still have human court transcribers. And that's not a particularly difficult job to begin with. More complex jobs are completely AI proof and will use AI only to augment their productivity.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GuitarStv on November 22, 2024, 07:30:17 AM
In my comments about job security, I wasn't suggesting that you would never be laid off, but that there should always be an alternative to hop to.

I was laid off (the whole company imploded actually - from 300 employees down to about 40) from a job that I had done well at, in a field I understood very well.  This was at the beginning of the financial crash in 2007.  It was a solid eight months, hundreds of resumes/job applications, and dozens of interviews before I found another job.

Job alternatives depend on the market at least as much as the skill of the job seeker.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: dcheesi on November 22, 2024, 08:15:49 AM
In my comments about job security, I wasn't suggesting that you would never be laid off, but that there should always be an alternative to hop to. I'm no longer an employee, but when  I was, I was constantly in the ear of recruiters so that I had a plan B and C in case my current firm wasn't going well or wasn't acceding to pay demands. Employers are replaceable, so treat them accordingly.
And that's what I was addressing: from what I'm hearing, the alternatives in my industry have dried up, and those recruiters no longer come calling (nor have anything real to offer if you call on them).

Quote
Quote
And on the other side of the coin, this all started before "AI" became ubiquitous, so I can't see "ChatGPT took er jerbs!!1!" being the answer, either. Which only makes me wonder how much worse it's gonna get when that does become a major factor?

Can't see AI ever supplanting most skilled human jobs. AI for instance can transcribe to some extent but we still have human court transcribers. And that's not a particularly difficult job to begin with. More complex jobs are completely AI proof and will use AI only to augment their productivity.
I'm a bit skeptical of "AI" abilities as well. But I do think that it'll get to the point that a lot of low-level jobs in certain industries can be automated away, with a smaller number of "AI wranglers" overseeing and double-checking the output. Even if the quality drops a little bit, a lot of businesses in a number of industries will likely be willing to make that tradeoff to save time & money.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 22, 2024, 08:37:51 AM
The tech layoffs are tapering off so conditions could improve going forward, especially for AI, cloud and cybersecurity experts.


(https://cdn.ibj.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/TechJobs_Chart-1024x571.png)

Idk if reporting is capturing the whole picture, though...my megacorp has made no announcements about layoffs that have made the news or triggered WARN, but their goal has been to reduce headcount by something like 20%.  They have been doing layoffs at least on a monthly basis since spring of 2023, in addition to opening two large IT bases (one in Ireland and one in India), so also outsourcing, and using RTO as a way to get people to leave, then not backfilling those positions.  It is kind of baffling to me as well how quiet it has been, and how quiet the recruiters have gone (previously I also got outreached by them on a regular basis), but I think lots of the recruiters have been laid off as well.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Just Joe on November 22, 2024, 09:17:42 AM
Amateur question: is the economy just slowing down and the big employers are premptively shrinking their employee pools?

Car manufacturers are also laying off white collar workers.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: dcheesi on November 22, 2024, 09:36:15 AM
Amateur question: is the economy just slowing down and the big employers are premptively shrinking their employee pools?

Car manufacturers are also laying off white collar workers.
All the standard economic indicators suggest otherwise, which is part of why this is all so baffling.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 22, 2024, 09:55:36 AM
Amateur question: is the economy just slowing down and the big employers are premptively shrinking their employee pools?

Car manufacturers are also laying off white collar workers.
All the standard economic indicators suggest otherwise, which is part of why this is all so baffling.

Yes, it feels deeply weird to me.  Even in the great recession I had recruiters knocking on my door.  Of course, I'm 15 years older now so that could be part of it, but I'm hearing the same story from everyone else.  There are lots of automation pilots right now at my company too, but those would mostly replace/streamline lower level jobs.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jinga nation on November 26, 2024, 10:50:05 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 2sk22 on November 26, 2024, 11:43:35 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.

I also agree that jobs that require security clearances are among the best options nowadays. My younger daughter who is a math major was recruited quite aggressively by several defense companies since it's hard to find math majors who are born in the US - (although she has decided to go to grad school however).
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jrhampt on November 26, 2024, 11:51:45 AM
How do you get a security clearance, though?  Do you have to be recruited by an employer who will sponsor you through the process?
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GuitarStv on November 26, 2024, 12:17:36 PM
How do you get a security clearance, though?  Do you have to be recruited by an employer who will sponsor you through the process?

Twenty years ago I needed 100$, a couple references, and a trip to our local police station.  Granted, this was in Canada, but it was pretty easy to get US secret clearance for the work I was doing on American F18s.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jinga nation on November 26, 2024, 12:24:09 PM
How do you get a security clearance, though?  Do you have to be recruited by an employer who will sponsor you through the process?
Yes. Employer has to sponsor.
Who pays (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2020/05/11/who-pays-for-security-clearances/)
Myths (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2020/12/07/security-clearance-myths-your-employer-pays-for-your-security-clearance/)
Clearance costs (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2021/09/07/how-much-does-it-cost-to-obtain-a-clearance-fy-2022-23-costs-go-down/)

Twenty years ago I had to fill out a fuck-ton of paperwork for my Tier 3 clearance. Every year since, I have to review it and submit changes on an addendum form. Thankfully, it's all done online now. Or pdf forms. But I've moved a couple of levels up over the years and employers, based on the customer sites I've worked at.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 26, 2024, 01:35:14 PM
How do you get a security clearance, though?  Do you have to be recruited by an employer who will sponsor you through the process?
Yes. Employer has to sponsor.
Who pays (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2020/05/11/who-pays-for-security-clearances/)
Myths (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2020/12/07/security-clearance-myths-your-employer-pays-for-your-security-clearance/)
Clearance costs (https://news.clearancejobs.com/2021/09/07/how-much-does-it-cost-to-obtain-a-clearance-fy-2022-23-costs-go-down/)

Twenty years ago I had to fill out a fuck-ton of paperwork for my Tier 3 clearance. Every year since, I have to review it and submit changes on an addendum form. Thankfully, it's all done online now. Or pdf forms. But I've moved a couple of levels up over the years and employers, based on the customer sites I've worked at.
^^^This pretty much covers everything but a few relatively unknown interim specialty clearances.

A lot of us come out of the military with a secret or higher level clearance so transition that into a civilian job easily. Like my sister, I had a TS/SCI (or SAP) level clearance which landed me a civilian government job that required those clearances even before I was out of the service. She got hers the traditional way by working for a defense contractor in an uncleared position first and then eventually gaining her clearance though the job and moving into working in secure cleared position. It took a couple of years to get that Tier 5 level clearance but she was able to get the DoD and DOJ secret level fairly fast since she had no background issues.

She does a 5 year single scope background check by a government agency, which can be intense,  and also has to submit any changes that occur in her life (such as moving, relationships, marriage - spouse and their extended family must be vetted too) or foreign travel she's done whenever that stuff occurs.

I will add that one reason big defense contractors recruit engineers and techs right out of high school and college and use for summer interns is that due to being young with little background issues (outside of potential extended family) it's much easier for them it get security clearances. Plus they're inexpensive to hire and will work very long hours day after day and go off-site to remote locations thousands of miles away for extended time periods to work on a project. So all the older engineers and techs often have to worry about hiring in a downturn because those young uns are nipping at their heels and are usually pretty hungry for work.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 26, 2024, 01:57:52 PM
We used to say "Yes, Sir, I am cleared for everything up to but not including Unrestricted."
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 26, 2024, 02:22:44 PM
We used to say "Yes, Sir, I am cleared for everything up to but not including Unrestricted."
Badges!! You need those stinking badges!  Most places with high level security are seriously locked down and unless you have the right clearance level ain't no way you're getting in.

I do find it interesting that some people like @GuitarStv  could get clearances so easily. Especially as foreign nationals. My personal.experience, as well as my sister's, was of a deep background probe, in person interviews of all your living family members and their spouses and in-laws and sibs, also in person  interviews with all your fellow employees or student friends, neighbors and anyone's name they mentioned as a possible known associate of yours, your personal friends and love life, a complete financial assessment, etc. Have financial problems or deep in debt? Security risk so denied clearance. Hunking BF's grandfather is from the Soviet Union/Russia? Security risk so denied clearance. Or you're gay or a loud mouth drunk or like beautiful women from China or North Korea, or...whatever. Lots of reasons it takes a long time initially and lots of reasons to be denied.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: GilesMM on November 26, 2024, 02:58:24 PM
We used to say "Yes, Sir, I am cleared for everything up to but not including Unrestricted."
Badges!! You need those stinking badges!  Most places with high level security are seriously locked down and unless you have the right clearance level ain't no way you're getting in.

I do find it interesting that some people like @GuitarStv  could get clearances so easily. Especially as foreign nationals. My personal.experience, as well as my sister's, was of a deep background probe, in person interviews of all your living family members and their spouses and in-laws and sibs, also in person  interviews with all your fellow employees or student friends, neighbors and anyone's name they mentioned as a possible known associate of yours, your personal friends and love life, a complete financial assessment, etc. Have financial problems or deep in debt? Security risk so denied clearance. Hunking BF's grandfather is from the Soviet Union/Russia? Security risk so denied clearance. Or you're gay or a loud mouth drunk or like beautiful women from China or North Korea, or...whatever. Lots of reasons it takes a long time initially and lots of reasons to be denied.

I once had a hilarious interview with an investigator who was probing the background of a schoolmate who needed clearance for a summer job at Sandia Labs.  The investigator kept insisting "Isn't there anything UNUSUAL you want to tell me about her? Anything DIFFERENT?  Can't you think of SOMETHING about her you need to tell me???"  She was apparently trying to get me to indicate that the subject was a practicing lesbian in order to ensure this was openly known and not a potential source of blackmail. But the way she phrased the question, many times, and the horrible faces she made gave me pause about bringing it up although I suppose I should have relented.  Anyhow, my friend got the clearance and motored off to New Mexico with her girlfriend in tow.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: spartana on November 27, 2024, 08:18:21 PM
We used to say "Yes, Sir, I am cleared for everything up to but not including Unrestricted."
Badges!! You need those stinking badges!  Most places with high level security are seriously locked down and unless you have the right clearance level ain't no way you're getting in.

I do find it interesting that some people like @GuitarStv  could get clearances so easily. Especially as foreign nationals. My personal.experience, as well as my sister's, was of a deep background probe, in person interviews of all your living family members and their spouses and in-laws and sibs, also in person  interviews with all your fellow employees or student friends, neighbors and anyone's name they mentioned as a possible known associate of yours, your personal friends and love life, a complete financial assessment, etc. Have financial problems or deep in debt? Security risk so denied clearance. Hunking BF's grandfather is from the Soviet Union/Russia? Security risk so denied clearance. Or you're gay or a loud mouth drunk or like beautiful women from China or North Korea, or...whatever. Lots of reasons it takes a long time initially and lots of reasons to be denied.

I once had a hilarious interview with an investigator who was probing the background of a schoolmate who needed clearance for a summer job at Sandia Labs.  The investigator kept insisting "Isn't there anything UNUSUAL you want to tell me about her? Anything DIFFERENT?  Can't you think of SOMETHING about her you need to tell me???"  She was apparently trying to get me to indicate that the subject was a practicing lesbian in order to ensure this was openly known and not a potential source of blackmail. But the way she phrased the question, many times, and the horrible faces she made gave me pause about bringing it up although I suppose I should have relented.  Anyhow, my friend got the clearance and motored off to New Mexico with her girlfriend in tow.
Yeah they're very pesky! My sister to never offer info and if asked weird or personal questions that you probably don't really know the answer to just say I don't know. I.e. to the  landlord: " Does she pay her rent on time"? Yes. "Does she ever have complains from other tenants, or have the police or the like,  called for noise or party issues"? No. "Does she engage 8n sex with strange men or women"? I don't know or not that I'm aware of. Etc..

Her last investigation happened in 2020 during the shutdown but I still had to meet the investigator outside to "chat" and ask their weird invasive questions.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: sonofsven on November 30, 2024, 07:41:19 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.

I also agree that jobs that require security clearances are among the best options nowadays. My younger daughter who is a math major was recruited quite aggressively by several defense companies since it's hard to find math majors who are born in the US - (although she has decided to go to grad school however).
My DD was a language major, focused on Asian languages, and was recruited by the CIA.
I like to tell her that I know she's actually working for them and can't tell me, and that her gig teaching English in Japan is just a front, which always gets a major eye roll from her.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: markbike528CBX on November 30, 2024, 11:24:16 AM
My DD was a language major, focused on Asian languages, and was recruited by the CIA.
I like to tell her that I know she's actually working for them and can't tell me, and that her gig teaching English in Japan is just a front, which always gets a major eye roll from her.
The reincarnation of Moe Berg. :-)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: 2sk22 on November 30, 2024, 03:19:58 PM
My DD was a language major, focused on Asian languages, and was recruited by the CIA.
I like to tell her that I know she's actually working for them and can't tell me, and that her gig teaching English in Japan is just a front, which always gets a major eye roll from her.

At one point, my daughter told me that she wanted to work for an intelligence agency because the advantage is that I wouldn't be able to ask her questions about her work :-)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: NorthernIkigai on November 30, 2024, 03:40:03 PM
The concept that job security is parlous is something foreign to me. I think if you are good at your job you will always have work, whether as an employee, as a contractor, with your own practice, etc. There is demand for everything as long as you are good at your job.

Getting another job is the easy part. Wanting to work at another job is the more difficult part. Especially as you get more seniority, set in your ways, develop your niche and client relationships, mold your job and others expectations over many years, etc.

Yes, yes, yes! I have kind of settled on actually liking my current job, although I have been dreaming of FIRE for a a good 5+ years now. It’s a job that combines a lot of my strengths, I have a lot of autonomy in doing it, and I will eventually miss it and my colleagues and customers when I leave.

But whenever I have a look at what other jobs are out there, just for fun, I’m overwhelmed by how boring and stressful they all seem. Plus the fact that I, as a generalist, wouldn’t qualify for almost any of them despite having a terminal degree (but no experience working in that field). Most jobs on a certain level have very specific criteria and expectations.

My golden handcuffs are basically a nice job I’m good at, rather than a huge salary.
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: RetiredAt63 on November 30, 2024, 04:06:05 PM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.

I also agree that jobs that require security clearances are among the best options nowadays. My younger daughter who is a math major was recruited quite aggressively by several defense companies since it's hard to find math majors who are born in the US - (although she has decided to go to grad school however).
My DD was a language major, focused on Asian languages, and was recruited by the CIA.
I like to tell her that I know she's actually working for them and can't tell me, and that her gig teaching English in Japan is just a front, which always gets a major eye roll from her.

I expect now you have posted this in sort-of public you will get a visit from the FBI on Monday, once the long weekend is over.     -;)
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: Sandi_k on December 01, 2024, 10:45:47 AM
Ugh. This past week a friend confided that her marriage of 20+ years is on the rocks. Her spouse has been drinking again (an issue that comes up every 5 years or so; he repents, gets dry, then starts up with dinner wine and occasional cocktails, which then morphs into whisky by the fire on Friday night, and....day drinking, poor decisions).

This last time, they've gotten him a therapist, them a therapist, and he's been going to AA, while stoutly declaring he's not an alcoholic. She's not thrilled with AA, as they live in a small-ish town, and she's discovered that two acquaintances are in his group.

And oh yeah - they "had a deal" that she'd stay home, raise the kids, make a home for them, while he handled the income, bills, and investments.

She told me she doesn't know how she can pay an attorney for a consult, because he reconciles all the charges, and she doesn't have a bank account or credit card of her own. And she is now in her 50's, with no college degree, and no recent work experience.

I am sick at heart for her. I noted that she can get free consults, but if he finds out, it will be DefCon 5 right out of the gate. He'll lock her out of the bank accounts, cancel her credit card...

Man, WHY do women do this to themselves?!
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: mm1970 on December 02, 2024, 11:18:07 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.
Hmm...am I too old to learn this stuff?
Title: Re: Why it's Important to be Financially Independent
Post by: jinga nation on December 02, 2024, 11:43:27 AM
There's also something to be said for the gold rush for "AI" (e.g. machine learning being applied in new and novel ways, and utilizing the big, popular models and their APIs). Most of us, however senior as we are, have very little experience in this new area of technology, but the companies that are hiring "only" want someone with experience, because they don't want to risk being left out of the cool new thing. This happens from time to time, and it will likely shift again over the next 6 months as various companies figure out what's necessary to pursue, technologically speaking, and what can be safely put off for now.

If you're in tech and need work, skill up!

Even in AI/ML the demand is drying up. As I've mentioned elsewhere on this forum I'm an OG AI researcher (30+ years working on neural networks :-)). I have now been retired for four years. Until the end of 2023, I used to get cold calls from recruiters but this year, the calls have completely stopped. I just feel grateful that I got out of the field when I did.

My employer is constantly looking for cloud architects, developers, engineers, sysadmins, etc. Openings require either a public trust or security clearance (depends on the customer). Yet can't find people to fill all our slots. Some of the openings we have are because the prime contractor couldn't fill those slots. The pay is very competitive within this industry sector, with good benefits. Recruiters say it's hard to fill openings with ex-FAANGs because they want X pay, Y bonus, Z time off, N days of PTO, etc. and don't want to come down from their lofty perch to what we can pay, which is based on the FedGov customers' pay rates. (Employer is a lean professional services consulting company where C-level down are mostly engineers; 85% of the company, less than 100 employees, are all technical. Even admin staff are incentivized to get a basic cloud cert to understand our line of business.)

Also recruiters saying that some of the ex-FAANG folks don't want to get even a basic public trust clearance. But they want the job, and argue that the gov agency should hire them without having to poke through their background history. Most of these openings have transitioned from working in the DC area to full-time WFH, with the occasional travel to customer site (maybe one week in 3 months).

Hence we've pretty much given up on ex-FAANGs. We've been hiring people who got tired of working for big consulting companies and wanted a work-life balance, and want to work with a single customer for a couple of years instead of 3-6 month engagements. Pretty sure some of these new hires might be FI or close to it.

On the AI aspect, late 2022 to mid-2024, our customers kept on asking us to implement AI. We asked for details, specs, more info - got no answers. On some projects, we previously had implemented ML or some other company did for that gov customer. That AI talk is pretty much dead, at least for now.

Reminds me of the tech meme, where the job listing states they want someone with N years of experience in a technology that is much less than N years old.
Hmm...am I too old to learn this stuff?
No. One is never too old to learn technology, just like you're never too late to learn investing.
In 2017, we had two network engineers (switches, routers, etc) join our company. They were in their late 50s. They learned how networking in the cloud works, became our cloud network engineers and assigned to a major client site. They were my employer's first retirees around 2020/21.
We've had a few old skool DB admins and sysadmins join due to existing clearance levels, upskilled by gaining relevant cloud certs, and assigned to clients. No one in our company knew cloud when they joined, we all are OJT - On Job Training. CEO/CTO learned cloud from a previous place where they were lead project engineers, then left and started current company.