Author Topic: The mental shift is PROFOUND!  (Read 9366 times)

2Birds1Stone

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The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« on: March 24, 2015, 07:30:03 AM »
I have been doing a lot of self reflection as of late. After seeing many threads pop up in regards to handling unmustachian friends and family members, I have been noticing more and more how trapped my own friends and family members are by this simple concept of time = money = consumer goods. If you cut out the middle portion of the equation you begin to realize how much time you are giving up for meaningless crap.

These thoughts have brought me to realize what a profound effect this mental shift has had on me. LBYM has enabled me to shave decades off of my NEED to earn a wage, it has allowed me to sleep at night knowing that not only could I take a year off full time work and it would be a small bump in the road, but if I had to never hold a high paying job again, I would be just fine in the grand scheme of things. This has been an awakening that has shaped my future in such a way that I hate to even imagine what life would be like if I headed down the common path of the rest of the population.

What was your own awakening? How has the shift in mentality that results from understanding how the rat race is designed, affected your own path moving forward?

Neustache

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2015, 07:46:33 AM »
It's actually making me go back to work!  Ha!

In two years both kiddos will be in school full-time, so I plan on getting my masters and becoming a teacher when the youngest starts kindergarten.  I'm lucky in that although we are quite traditional, my husband meal plans, grocery shops and cooks.  I would not be able to consider a career if I had to do the bulk of the childcare, cleaning and cooking (which it seems that even if both spouses work full time, the wife still ends up with the bulk of that kind of work).

I've always had this notion of going back to work eventually so that my husband could retire 'early' at 55.  Once I found MMM, coupled with being a little bored at home, I decided to pursue this route, because in our new plan we can semi-retire together at 47 when our first goes off to college.  Sounds perfect to me!

So the notion that time = money contributed to me (hopefully) entering the workforce about 10 years earlier than I anticipated.  But I also realize that I'm not a great homemaker.  I like gardening and baking bread...and I'm getting better at cleaning.  But I need a bit more  socialization  and I'll get more of that when my best friend can join me at home when we semi-retire. 


Torran

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2015, 08:02:08 AM »
It's been ages since I commented on anything... but yes, absolutely. Even though I'm still in the very early days (paying off debt, minimal 'safety net' savings), the mental shift is profound. For me, it was my love of shopping. It's pretty embarrassing to admit... I genuinely really enjoyed clothes shopping. I found it all really interesting.

For a while after finding MMM I would still wander around the shops, looking at clothes. The 180 was pretty gradual. But now, eventually, I'm at a point where I stand in highstreet chain shops looking at clothes thinking 'what is this bullshit? This is all complete nonsense'.

I still duck into a charity shop now and then for the occasional (useful) bargain. But I'm well on the path to recovery.

I just cannot get back into the headspace of enjoying shopping anymore. It's been revealed for what it really is... and there is no way back!!

DoubleDown

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2015, 08:11:21 AM »
Yes, it is profound, and you may find there are other "stages" you go through as your journey progresses. For example, you've already noticed how having "F You" money frees you from worry about losing your job or taking time off. As your stash grows, you might notice some other milestones such as:

- Having enough money to be a SAHP for a while, or to go back to school, or to switch careers, etc.
- Having enough money to quit for the foreseeable future, as long as you earned a little part-time or seasonal income
- "Bare bones" FI -- having enough money to quit forever on a basic budget, and covering extravagances with extra income
- Being completely FI, where you can make all decisions from a standpoint of not caring about money or working for a living
- Being completely FI plus having additional money to leave a legacy for heirs or to do some good in the world
- ?

All of those stages feel like a new level of freedom, and they are glorious.

Gone Fishing

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #4 on: March 24, 2015, 08:36:53 AM »
Yes, it is profound, and you may find there are other "stages" you go through as your journey progresses. For example, you've already noticed how having "F You" money frees you from worry about losing your job or taking time off. As your stash grows, you might notice some other milestones such as:

- Having enough money to be a SAHP for a while, or to go back to school, or to switch careers, etc.
- Having enough money to quit for the foreseeable future, as long as you earned a little part-time or seasonal income
- "Bare bones" FI -- having enough money to quit forever on a basic budget, and covering extravagances with extra income
- Being completely FI, where you can make all decisions from a standpoint of not caring about money or working for a living
- Being completely FI plus having additional money to leave a legacy for heirs or to do some good in the world
- ?

All of those stages feel like a new level of freedom, and they are glorious.

Awesome. 

Gone Fishing

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #5 on: March 24, 2015, 08:48:21 AM »
I have been doing a lot of self reflection as of late. After seeing many threads pop up in regards to handling unmustachian friends and family members, I have been noticing more and more how trapped my own friends and family members are by this simple concept of time = money = consumer goods. If you cut out the middle portion of the equation you begin to realize how much time you are giving up for meaningless crap.

These thoughts have brought me to realize what a profound effect this mental shift has had on me. LBYM has enabled me to shave decades off of my NEED to earn a wage, it has allowed me to sleep at night knowing that not only could I take a year off full time work and it would be a small bump in the road, but if I had to never hold a high paying job again, I would be just fine in the grand scheme of things. This has been an awakening that has shaped my future in such a way that I hate to even imagine what life would be like if I headed down the common path of the rest of the population.

What was your own awakening? How has the shift in mentality that results from understanding how the rat race is designed, affected your own path moving forward?

Don't know if I ever had an "awakening".  Low consumption and passive income is and has always been my "normal".  Even back in high school I remember thinking about how absurd everyone was for jumping through various hoops for dubious rewards.  I would probably be more like Jacob at ERE if it wasn't for my wife, who requires a little more luxury (that am happy to provide).     
« Last Edit: March 24, 2015, 08:50:53 AM by So Close »

katstache92

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #6 on: March 24, 2015, 09:50:31 AM »
I've had this same kind of mental shift just recently.  I've always been a saver, which seemed like a good plan.  Then in December I found MMM and realized my "saving" was puny and I could do so much better.

I think the most important thing I've realized is I needed (and now have) a goal.  I was definitely coasting after having recently graduated from college and found a "good job."  Learning about all of this has given me back some of the drive I lost after I graduated and found a job.  I was definitely hitting the "what next" wall.  Now I know what's next: keep trimming down expenses, become fit enough to ride my bike to work, and grow the stache.

I'm looking forward to some of those upcoming milestones that DoubleDown mentioned.

Retired To Win

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #7 on: March 24, 2015, 01:17:46 PM »
... I have been noticing more and more how trapped my own friends and family members are by this simple concept of time = money = consumer goods. If you cut out the middle portion of the equation you begin to realize how much time you are giving up for meaningless crap... What was your own awakening? How has the shift in mentality that results from understanding how the rat race is designed, affected your own path moving forward?

The time = money = time equation, once it really hit me, enabled me to take a 9-year shortcut to achieving financial freedom and earlier retirement.  Once I had really, really internalized that reducing my basic living expenses by $1000 a year would allow me to shave $25,000 off the required size of my retirement target stash I had all the motivation I needed to really get serious about applying frugality without sacrifice to the way I spent my money.

That was the BIG aha! moment for me.  That $1000 expenses = $25,000 stash.

samburger

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #8 on: March 24, 2015, 02:29:28 PM »
time = money = consumer goods. If you cut out the middle portion of the equation you begin to realize how much time you are giving up for meaningless crap.

This is a wonderful summary of the perspective shift that goes on in the ER community.

Malaysia41

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #9 on: March 24, 2015, 03:49:37 PM »
It's been ages since I commented on anything... but yes, absolutely. Even though I'm still in the very early days (paying off debt, minimal 'safety net' savings), the mental shift is profound. For me, it was my love of shopping. It's pretty embarrassing to admit... I genuinely really enjoyed clothes shopping. I found it all really interesting.

For a while after finding MMM I would still wander around the shops, looking at clothes. The 180 was pretty gradual. But now, eventually, I'm at a point where I stand in highstreet chain shops looking at clothes thinking 'what is this bullshit? This is all complete nonsense'.

I still duck into a charity shop now and then for the occasional (useful) bargain. But I'm well on the path to recovery.

I just cannot get back into the headspace of enjoying shopping anymore. It's been revealed for what it really is... and there is no way back!!

Me too! 100%.



Malaysia41

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #10 on: March 24, 2015, 03:53:41 PM »
I've had this same kind of mental shift just recently.  I've always been a saver, which seemed like a good plan.  Then in December I found MMM and realized my "saving" was puny and I could do so much better.

I think the most important thing I've realized is I needed (and now have) a goal.  I was definitely coasting after having recently graduated from college and found a "good job."  Learning about all of this has given me back some of the drive I lost after I graduated and found a job.  I was definitely hitting the "what next" wall.  Now I know what's next: keep trimming down expenses, become fit enough to ride my bike to work, and grow the stache.

I'm looking forward to some of those upcoming milestones that DoubleDown mentioned.

Yes!  I graduated college with approx $5k in student loans.  With a goal to pay that off quickly, I buckled down like a mustachian and did it.  Problem was, I lacked a next step.  I didn't have a specific follow-on goal.  'Retirement' was too far away to care.  And in lacking a specific goal, lifestyle inflation crept in.  Not in an extreme way - but, well, at least with clothing, shopping for entertainment, etc. 

Now I tell all of the young-uns in our clan - "Your goal is financial independence.  No, you don't have a choice." 

I look back and if I'd set 'FI' as my goal at 23, holy SHIT!  We'd probably be in the 8 digit range on net worth.  Maybe.  Oh well, we made it. 

It seems to me that as soon as we're born, we're in this game where FI is the goal.  Yet, only a select few are ever told the object of the game.  Some never learn.  It's freaking tragic. 

MrsPete

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #11 on: March 25, 2015, 05:52:23 AM »
Don't know if I ever had an "awakening".  Low consumption and passive income is and has always been my "normal".  Even back in high school I remember thinking about how absurd everyone was for jumping through various hoops for dubious rewards.  I would probably be more like Jacob at ERE if it wasn't for my wife, who requires a little more luxury (that am happy to provide).     
Yeah, I can relate.  I grew up in a VERY frugal family -- not frugal by choice -- so I've never had a big awakening moment when I realized I could do things differently/better. 

andystkilda

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #12 on: March 25, 2015, 06:42:30 AM »
Inspiring and thought-provoking thread everyone.
Thanks.

andy85

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #13 on: March 25, 2015, 06:55:02 AM »
feel the exact same way 2B1S!
well said!

ambimammular

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #14 on: March 25, 2015, 08:03:59 AM »
My revelation of late is about the "Enoughness" concept in YMOYL. Having needs, wants, and even small luxuries met, with "Enough" being at the peak of a bell curve. Anything after that is consumerism that is not adding significantly to your happiness.

I'm there. I probably reach it two years back or so. (The aha moment came when I couldn't even think of wish list items on Craigslist.)

But my DH is not. I just assumed because we're meeting all our saving goals, and our standard of living doesn't feel compromised to do so, that we were both at that place together. Maybe his bell curve is shifted a bit compared to mine. (As a statistician my beloved DH would cringe at my metaphor.)

Kaspian

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #15 on: March 25, 2015, 02:34:06 PM »
I'd been slowly shifting towards Mustchianism for years, but didn't really know it.  I was a minimalist but was also wasting money willy-nilly on taxi fares, beer, travel, and the occasional takeout 'cause I didn't know what else to do with my cash.  But when I first found this blog, I literally almost fell out of my chair at work--it felt like I'd been underwater for years and was suddenly thrust on shore gasping for air.  ...Like that scene where Neo breaks out of the Matrix cocoon. Here was a guy, MMM, who wasn't some lunatic hippie but who lived simply and presented a plan.  Life's been a lot better ever since--simpler, happier.  I only wish I had've thought of (or heard about) the "plan" way earlier in life.  ...I'd been saving 15% my whole career--why the hell did I never think of 50%?!!  It's such simple math!  My whole lifestyle was against the mainstream grain, but I'd never done a specific math leap in my head.  I questioned everything but my mind had been lethargic and accepted the sheeple premise: "you work until either you retire with a pension or die".

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #16 on: March 26, 2015, 06:50:12 AM »
My revelation of late is about the "Enoughness" concept in YMOYL. Having needs, wants, and even small luxuries met, with "Enough" being at the peak of a bell curve. Anything after that is consumerism that is not adding significantly to your happiness...

For me, the "enoughness" concept extended itself to income about a year or so ago.

Being already earlier retired and having driven my basic living expenses down to $15K a year means that I have a lot of surplus passive income.  But (1) I still kept trying to maximize my investment returns and (2) I still kept fantasizing about turning my blog into a moneymaker.  Until it hit me like a shot that I already have enough income.  Result?  More free time from not having to manage my investments so intensely and more enjoyable blogging for its own sake.

th0rbahn

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #17 on: March 26, 2015, 01:43:06 PM »
  ...Like that scene where Neo breaks out of the Matrix cocoon.

I thought this was amusing, since MMM made the exact same analogy in the very first blog post.

Kaspian

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2015, 02:00:22 PM »
  ...Like that scene where Neo breaks out of the Matrix cocoon.

I thought this was amusing, since MMM made the exact same analogy in the very first blog post.

Crazy!  The funny thing is, the few times somebody I know has asked me to send them a link about "this MMM guy", that's the one article I definitely do not send.  Though he's being so straightforward and honest (we all know that) the intro sounds very much like a get-rich-quick scheme... Like at any point there will be a catch to buy tapes, or attend a seminar, invest with him, or sell products to your neighbours. 

That said, I wonder what would have happened if the first time I trundled in here it was an efficient car, floor heating, or fixing his mom's roof article?  (Luckily, it was the one about "the exploding volcano of waste".) Would I still be a ridiculous spendypants who only saved 15% and planned on working 'til 65?  ...Don't want to even think about it!!

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2015, 02:51:44 PM »
I cannot describe how profound it feels to go from a DINK $6.5k/mo budget and 25% savings with 0 passive income (no unsecured debt) to a single wage earner $4k budget 50% savings and a variable $2600/month of passive income with rental properties. It feels surreal.

This transformation started in 2011 when I convinced DH to take a sabbatical to rehab our dilapidated old rambler. He did so well I had the idea of buying a run down rental property to keep him on his sabbatical. Somewhere in that first purchase process I found MMM while on the bigger pockets real estate site. I have no idea where we would be today had I not stumbled upon ERE and MMM.

Life changing is what it is!

Cookie78

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2015, 03:26:29 PM »
I'd been slowly shifting towards Mustchianism for years, but didn't really know it.  I was a minimalist but was also wasting money willy-nilly on taxi fares, beer, travel, and the occasional takeout 'cause I didn't know what else to do with my cash.  But when I first found this blog, I literally almost fell out of my chair at work--it felt like I'd been underwater for years and was suddenly thrust on shore gasping for air.  ...Like that scene where Neo breaks out of the Matrix cocoon. Here was a guy, MMM, who wasn't some lunatic hippie but who lived simply and presented a plan.  Life's been a lot better ever since--simpler, happier.  I only wish I had've thought of (or heard about) the "plan" way earlier in life.  ...I'd been saving 15% my whole career--why the hell did I never think of 50%?!!  It's such simple math!  My whole lifestyle was against the mainstream grain, but I'd never done a specific math leap in my head.  I questioned everything but my mind had been lethargic and accepted the sheeple premise: "you work until either you retire with a pension or die".

This is the same for me too.

Before MMM I bought a small house, rented the upstairs and lived in the basement for a year. Then I bought another small house lived upstairs, and rented the basement, plus both floors in the first house. I lived pretty minimally, drove a car my mom sold me for a dollar until it died, walked to work or school until I had a job that required use of my car. Cooked most of my own food, and never needed any of the newest gadgets. But it resulted in all this extra money that I didn't know what to do with. So I spent most of it travelling and taking extended leaves of absence from work. My investments were minimal and I never paid much attention to them.

I can't say my life is simpler and happier just yet, because I'm still very new and working towards that one step at a time. But I have seen the light! I wish I'd seen it sooner, but it is what it is. Better late than never.


GetItRight

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #21 on: March 29, 2015, 04:32:41 PM »
I've always been relatively frugal, but still I worked because it's just what you are supposed to do. I bought stuff for my hobbies or took vacations to get a break from work and make the daily grind bearable. After MMM, a total paradigm shift. Now I work so I can be free to do whatever I want later, hobbies and escapes from the daily grind are done even more frugally than previously, because I'll have the rest of my life to do those things more to my liking if I stay the course in the short term.

There are only two profound realizations in my life that have entirely changed how I view things, that I gradually shifted towards it then had an "Aha!" moment where it clicked and everything was clear. MMM/FIRE is one of those things and my life is far better for having that mental shift.

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #22 on: March 29, 2015, 07:00:37 PM »
For me, it was my love of shopping. It's pretty embarrassing to admit... I genuinely really enjoyed clothes shopping. I found it all really interesting.

For a while after finding MMM I would still wander around the shops, looking at clothes. The 180 was pretty gradual. But now, eventually, I'm at a point where I stand in highstreet chain shops looking at clothes thinking 'what is this bullshit? This is all complete nonsense'.

SO true. This is exactly what happened to me, down to the gradual shift. If you'd told me 3 years ago that in 2015 I would think clothes shopping was BS, I'd have thought you were a complete wacko. But I do!

Elbata

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #23 on: March 29, 2015, 09:10:02 PM »
This is a great topic. Surprised it hasn't been talked about before.

No doubt MMM, and ERE have had a major impact on my life. Looking back, I have always been frugal, but I've pissed away an awful lot of money too if that makes sense.

MMM helped instill a laser like focus. Plenty of "aha" moments with his writings. All I know is that somehow it's part of who I am, and I now look at the world much differently. There's a certain amount of confidence knowing I'm in control.

By incorporating MMM principles, life's just a hell of a lot easier.

TheBuddha

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #24 on: March 29, 2015, 11:53:41 PM »
I can't spend money carelessly like I used to. I'm fully conscious of dollars leaving my pocket. That sounds like I'm a tightwad but I'm not. I just have a sense of the big picture, and how every spending event affects my larger goals.

If I decide to spend money now, I do it and don't feel guilty. But it's an informed decision. I'm not caught off-guard, wondering where all my money went.

Also my sense of what constitutes luxury has changed. Today, for example, I bought an energy drink at a gas station. I paid three ridiculous dollars for it. I could have waited until I got home and drank one I had paid one dollar for. But I paid two extra, ridiculous dollars because I wanted it right then. I know it sounds stupid but I felt like I had just leased a BMW, or something equally wasteful. I felt like a king, drinking it. While people around me need to spend more and more to get their kicks (hedonic adaptation) I'm going the opposite direction. The smallest waste of money can feel outrageous to me, and satisfies the urge to pamper myself. I must be hedonically maladaptive.

« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 12:07:35 AM by TheBuddha »

MrsPete

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Re: The mental shift is PROFOUND!
« Reply #25 on: March 30, 2015, 07:01:01 AM »
My revelation of late is about the "Enoughness" concept in YMOYL. Having needs, wants, and even small luxuries met, with "Enough" being at the peak of a bell curve.
I can relate to this, but I'm coming from the other side of the bell curve:

I grew up in a family that never had "enough".  By that, I mean, our actual needs went unmet or were delayed.  I specifically remember saving "good cardboard" to cut into shoe-shapes when the shoes wore holes in the soles.  I remember being on a "rotation" for new eye glasses.  I remember all 5 of us kids having strep throat, and sharing 3 bottles of medicine among us.  I remember wearing too-short jeans to school.  I remember having no lunch and laughing it off, claiming I was dieting.  I remember going to bed early because it was just so cold in the house.  I remember a winter with no hot water. 

In late high school I realized that much of the above was caused by my parents' lack of money-management skills, so in college I spent time every week in the library reading:  Reading about frugal living, reading about investments, reading about 401Ks, reading about all sorts of things.  I couldn't put them into practice yet, but I learned how to do it once I actually had some money. 

Still, it was something of a surprise to me when I reached the point that I could have "enough" and still be comfortable, even have enough to save.  On some level, I had some financial double-think going on:  I expected to work and do well, yet I somehow couldn't imagine ever having ... excess.  I thought saving would be a sacrifice, that I'd be able to save by continuing to skip lunches and wear shoes with holes in the sole.  18 year old me would not have believed how well I've done. 



 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!