Me neither - I didn't like it, but it was the degree to which I didn't like certain moments near the end that made me pull the trigger.
I was very good at my job because I was willing to obsess about it 24x7. Some who witnessed my climb have flattered my success with terms like "the best" or "no one can do what you do".
But, it took its toll. I enjoyed the pursuit of deals, I enjoyed the wins even more. The losses didn't really seem to hurt me at all. What I couldn't tolerate was the way folks higher in the org (there's always "higher") purposely overlooked or did not acknowledge my contributions to the overall success. They would rather plod along or make you fight for what was promised for your work rather than listen to new ideas on how to teach the org to be successful. In short, egos always were more powerful than the desire for overall success. This happened in every company.
The last CEO I worked for comes back to me every 3 months, trying to convince me to return to the grind. I send him pictures of the last fish I caught or the last mountain I skied.
I had to face some realities after FIREing in March 2020:
1. The opinions of others do matter to me, even if I try to deny it.
2. Intelligence and reason are seldom going to be recognized by others in an organization. Relationship, ego and emotion are responsible for almost all decisions.
3. I can enjoy my retirement now and be as lazy as I choose on any given day and I honestly have zero guilt about it.
4. Winning is important to me - if I go after something - I make it happen - almost 100%. So, I'm very choosy about what I will spend my energy on.
5. I own my destiny, and while my 5 college kids and my wife are reliant on me - I got this covered.
6. Good fortune should always be appreciated, but seizing the opportunity presented requires guts, ambition and an obsessive focus.
7. My patience was hard to find, but once I did find it, my own anxiety dropped like a stone.
"Working" for yourself is truly, never working. I obsess over the markets and my investments and my kids and health care options every day. But it is not undesirable. I enjoy my mind working on these problems because I have proven that whatever I focus on, I amplify - even if it is not instantaneous. I'm also finally satisfying a bit of my own ego and honestly - that's pretty awesome too.
That was a bit of a rant and probably uninteresting for many, but I enjoyed encapsulating it so thanks for the compelling inquiry.
-Wildatheart