Author Topic: What would you tell your 19 year old self?  (Read 22228 times)

LibrarIan

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #50 on: September 26, 2014, 11:16:38 AM »
Be more physically active. Video games are awesome, but in moderation.

Do what you love. Taking jobs for money might be financially beneficial, but what about your mental state?

Focus on as few things as possible at a time. You'll get fewer things done, but the things you do get done will be done well.
« Last Edit: September 26, 2014, 11:19:14 AM by LibrarIan »

Cheddar Stacker

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #51 on: September 26, 2014, 11:33:51 AM »
Put your money in a fruit company.

There's always money in the banana stand

Always. Literally.

Invest first, then buy your house.

Max your 401K every year. Don't tell yourself you can't afford to do it. If you want to retire early, you can't afford not to.

Chranstronaut

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #52 on: September 26, 2014, 11:41:17 AM »
It's okay to slow down every once in a while.  No one cares if you take a year or two off from school to establish residency, work and save money.  Don't trust dad to fill out the FAFSA alone.  Call home more.

Punchingat50

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #53 on: September 26, 2014, 01:20:26 PM »
Mine doesn't sound like it would affect my financial situation, but not doing this cost me my twenties:

1) Move out of home. Doesn't matter where or how, just do it.

2) Go into therapy and cut off ALL contact with family asap.

3) Ditch the relationship (seriously, you'll lose 18 years of your life and he's NOT GOOD FOR YOU)

4) Stay single until family issues sorted well enough.

5) Remember that you are not a robot. Feelings are actually real and valid. Logic is a super useful tool but should not be used for everything.

Completely agree. Took me 15 years to learn these.

hybrid

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #54 on: September 26, 2014, 02:31:33 PM »
Most people don't get married at 19. Don't worry about it, 29 years later from now you'll be doing just fine you lucky bastard.

Buckle down, borrow for school if you have to, and get that Computer Science degree. You'll regret waiting until your 30s to get into IT.

Snow White

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #55 on: September 26, 2014, 02:55:18 PM »
Most of my advice to my 19 year old self would be about valuing myself more than I did and avoiding certain men that I know now will arrive later in my life and were not be worth the trouble they caused me. ;)

But I assume you are asking from a financial point of view and like you, I wanted a career "helping people" so I majored in psychology.  A string of emotionally fulfilling but poor paying social service jobs followed.  It took me awhile to realize that I really needed a PhD in psychology to make decent money.  Instead I went back to school and got a degree in nursing and that was something I wish my 19 year old self would have done.  I suggest you read about psychiatric nurse practitioner jobs and responsibilities and see if that resonates with you.  The work sounds like a good fit for your interests and the money will be far better than the path you are on.

Good luck!

RWD

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #56 on: September 26, 2014, 03:10:55 PM »
I really wish I could go back and tell my 17-year-old self to retake my SAT soon enough to qualify for scholarships... I would have had a full ride if I had retaken my SAT before whatever the cutoff date was.

For my 19-year-old self:
- Brush twice a day, floss once a day, and visit the dentist twice a year
- Keep running (exercise)
- Don't invest in Prosper
- Don't buy a house without a 20% down payment

Andiham

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #57 on: September 26, 2014, 04:40:07 PM »
Don't feel pressured to go to college right away (or at all) if you don't know what you want to study and if you aren't sure it's for you. Take some time, explore your options, do some career aptitude tests and volunteer in many different fields. Don't rule out things like being a plumber, electrician, etc. either. You can be making great money and learning a trade while in school with those fields. You don't have to have a Bachelor's in w/e to have a good job or be successful. Major in something that will allow you to sustain yourself financially and emotionally. Don't major in engineering just for the money if you'll be a nervous wreck doing all that math for instance. Don't major in psychology and be surprised when you can only find a minimum wage job in a mental hospital with your Bachelor's either.

Also, if you do decide to go to university, have goals, but don't be so focused on those goals and on the future that you don't stop to enjoy the here and now- spending time with friends, going to university events, volunteering, etc. You'll reach your goals, but it's so important to make those memories along the way.

If you have any bad breakups, don't let them drag you down. There will be future relationships, you will be happy again, and everything will be ok. Sometimes the perfect someone is in your life already, you just haven't noticed it yet.

Emilyngh

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #58 on: September 26, 2014, 05:26:31 PM »
Dear Me,

Relax.  Everything's going to work out well.   You're doing great; you really don't have to work so hard to prove yourself.   Stop trying get through your engineering degree in 3 years.   That's crazy, and no one will care in 10 years that you're a year younger than you "should" be.   

Stop buying crap (especially that new car) and spending so much drinking in bars.   None of this spending will make you feel like any more of an adult.   Instead, take every spare penny and put it in an index fund ETF.

Smooches!

joeeffect

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #59 on: September 26, 2014, 05:42:01 PM »
Most of my advice to my 19 year old self would be about valuing myself more than I did and avoiding certain men that I know now will arrive later in my life and were not be worth the trouble they caused me. ;)

But I assume you are asking from a financial point of view and like you, I wanted a career "helping people" so I majored in psychology.  A string of emotionally fulfilling but poor paying social service jobs followed.  It took me awhile to realize that I really needed a PhD in psychology to make decent money.  Instead I went back to school and got a degree in nursing and that was something I wish my 19 year old self would have done.  I suggest you read about psychiatric nurse practitioner jobs and responsibilities and see if that resonates with you.  The work sounds like a good fit for your interests and the money will be far better than the path you are on.

Good luck!
That looks like an interesting job but probably not for me since I'm just not at all interested in the physical health aspect and more on the mental aspect which is why I chose psychology and do plan to get either a PhD or PsyD.
This site seems to show they make decent money, if it is to be trusted: http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Clinical_Psychologist/Salary
The psychiatric nurse practitioner could be a backup I guess:
http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Psychiatric_Nurse_Practitioner_(NP)/Salary

Snow White

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #60 on: September 26, 2014, 06:57:41 PM »

[/quote]
That looks like an interesting job but probably not for me since I'm just not at all interested in the physical health aspect and more on the mental aspect which is why I chose psychology and do plan to get either a PhD or PsyD.
This site seems to show they make decent money, if it is to be trusted: http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Clinical_Psychologist/Salary
The psychiatric nurse practitioner could be a backup I guess:
http://www.payscale.com/research/US/Job=Psychiatric_Nurse_Practitioner_(NP)/Salary
[/quote]

The Psych NP salary looks in the ballpark.  My daughter is an NP and makes more than that though working 30 hours a week.  She works in a drug rehab facility so that's what made think of it you since you mentioned addiction care.  She loves her work.  The clinical psychologist job will require a PhD but it might be a better fit for you.  My daughter's NP role requires little direct care and more assessment, counseling and treatment planning. 

Zamboni

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #61 on: September 26, 2014, 09:24:16 PM »
Listen up, 19 year old Zamboni!:

Since you are barely making money and therefore pay no income taxes, open a Roth IRA and max the Roth IRA any way you can.  Particularly in grad school on that tiny assistantship, find a way to max the Roth!  (My friend Wendi, also 19, really did tell me this at the time, but i was too ignorant to listen.)

Do NOT buy a new car.  Ever.

When you get a job making the "big bucks", continue maxing the Roth and now also max the 401k/403b/457 or whatever else they offer.  Don't let your spouse convince you that you don't need to max your plan.

Runningtuff

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #62 on: September 27, 2014, 02:51:42 AM »
Below is a list I did for my neice recently as a card.
On the financial side, the main one would be NO to finance companies.


allergic2average

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #63 on: September 27, 2014, 08:02:40 AM »
Stop being so prideful and allow others to help you, you're not a machine so it's impossible for you to do everything yourself. Back then man did I have a hard head lol now that my eyes are open life is way easier :)

socaso

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #64 on: September 27, 2014, 08:30:54 AM »
My advice is particular to women but I have been giving it to a young co-worker recently (she's 21.) Learn to stand up for yourself at work. Don't let fear of confrontation stop you from learning to speak up for what you want. In fact, every time you feel that knot of fear in your stomach that's a pretty good sign that you need to confront exactly the thing you want to turn away from. This impacts your financial life because if you are not getting raises and promotions and opportunities then you will end up far behind in the financial game. I've seen so many women in different workplaces get bitter and unhappy and become bad employees because they perceived that they were being passed over but they shared some of the blame for not speaking up.

Also start identifying early on what things in your life are truly important to you and therefore worth spending money on vs. thing that you don't care too much about and can scrimp on. My personal examples are travel is worth it but cars aren't for me.

Why is that advice particular to women? People of both sexes struggle with being assertive when they need to be, myself included.

+1 if you replace "women" with "people" you can double the great advice.

Well said. I really struggle with being assertive at work, particularly with most people I work with being 15-20 years older than me. I know it's something I need to work on, so right now I'm researching salary negotiations. I've gotten excellent reviews for the past two years, the company is doing well, I put in overtime voluntarily, and yet my raises have only been in line with inflation. I need to speak up for myself.
I certainly suggest anyone replace my pronouns as they see fit. My observation was based on my experience and in my years in various workplaces I have heard many women complain about being passed over for promotions and not getting raises when they felt they deserved them when they were also not stepping up to management and asking for what they wanted. I have not heard any men make these complaints and did not mean to suggest that no man needs this advice but as the question was addressed to the experience of each poster that is my observation based on mine.

arebelspy

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #65 on: September 27, 2014, 09:27:05 AM »
Below is a list I did for my neice recently as a card.
On the financial side, the main one would be NO to finance companies.

[Picture snipped to save space.]

That's awesome, I love it.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
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Vilgan

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #66 on: September 27, 2014, 10:09:42 AM »
19-23 was military and fine, so will just generalize with stuff I would tell my younger self

1) Take a year off after high school. Work. Do stuff. Reduce the school burnout.
2) Don't stay in a part of the country you hate because it is "cheap". Especially don't go to college there. Move back to the Pacific Northwest asap and things will probably work out.
3) Most college classes are useless but the opportunity is not. Find cool things to do and leverage the resources and connections at college to build some cool stuff.
4) Take Vitamin D in the winter
5) Avoid time consuming video games

It mostly turned out okay, but my main regret is staying in a part of the country I hated for a variety of reasons including inertia that weren't good reasons. It resulted in years of my life where I was always "waiting to leave" rather than really living.
« Last Edit: September 27, 2014, 10:12:24 AM by Vilgan »

Yonco

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #67 on: September 27, 2014, 02:29:23 PM »
I was 19, running a mustang :) with headers and straightpipes down the center of the of downtown. Burn out, speeding, cute girls, lots of noise, trouble. I pulled up to a corner and waited for a light. A homeless black guy and my eyes met, he said "drive that shit while you still can."  I thought to myself I can ways be driving a nice car, fast car with a pretty girl. 10 years later there is no mustang, no driving fast, no taking chances.  It's all by choice because now I have responsibilities. There's something about being young and dumb that I don't regret. So be dumb my friend, you'll.miss it.

newmoney

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #68 on: September 27, 2014, 07:16:47 PM »
I'm only 26 myself, but I did what you are doing. I made a habit of reading other older people's laments and regrets. I am a school psychologist and am saving over 85% of my income, but it's only been a few months at my first job so... can't brag just yet! lol

I can summarize everyone's advice (the useful stuff) into 2 points! Forget the follow your heart shit. Fortunately, there isn't much of that on this blog. However, as you have read, a few still use questions like this to talk about themselves rather than give actual useful, logical, enriching (a pun!) advice.

1) Be very very very very very extremely intensely careful with marriage. It would be better to live your entire life single than it would be to marry and then divorce. Anyone who says otherwise is either unmarried (and too stupid to know how horrible divorce is on your finances and overall health) or they have been divorced and are trying to make themselves feel better. Divorce is the sure fire way to crush your hopes, dreams, and finances, especially in a state like California. I have yet to read very many people lament staying single and rich for too long, but just do yourself a favor and browse through the MYRIAD of horrifying divorce stories online. 

2) Start saving and investing now. Get an account at Vanguard and start throwing as much as you can into index funds. If you do this you WILL be rich eventually, and sooner than you think. It is a mathematical certainty (barring a nuclear war, zombie apocalypse, or your death, in which case nothing we do really matters).

That's really it. I would have told myself NOT to get into debt going to a private university for as long as I did. I would have gone to a CC for 2 years, transfer to a state school, and then go to the state school for my MS and my credential. I got it right eventually, but I could have done it sooner and had less debt. Eh, you live and learn. I happen to enjoy my career as a psych and football coach, so even when I am rich, I will still be a working "cheapskate." lol!

Enjoy getting rich!

EarlyRetirementGuy

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #69 on: September 28, 2014, 06:49:52 AM »
You're gonna find university pretty damn easy. Instead of bumming about in the weekends/evenings get some more jobs and save the cash!

stlbrah

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #70 on: September 28, 2014, 11:25:16 AM »
To stay out of the bars and focus on my sport (powerlifting) and income generation (job and startups).

This could be translated to anyone by "stay out of the damn bars and focus on things that matter."

I am not even considering the money wasted - which was probably 10 thousand or more, but the TIME wasted.


Also, save more. I didn't know about mutual funds. Didn't refinance my house when I should of. I bought an audi a4 for 30k when I was 22 and made a salary of 37.5k. It was right before I moved out of my folks house, so I had a lot of money saved up, but still, it could have been an extra 30k of downpayment on condo. /facepalm ... I still regret the partying more.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2014, 11:28:11 AM by stlbrah »

Jellyfish

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #71 on: September 28, 2014, 01:17:09 PM »
I've been frugal my whole life.  I wish I had allowed my younger self to spend a bit more money on experiences...primarily travel...when I had the chance. Before jobs and marriage and kids and real life made those less possible. 

Johnez

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #72 on: September 28, 2014, 02:32:16 PM »
You're 19.  Live like you're 19.  Have fun, don't let anything or anyone stop you.

I think the most important thing for a young guy/gal to remember is to simply avoid huge liabilities.  Stuff like credit card debt, student loans, toxic relationships, unplanned children, etc. can tie up your finances and life for years, decades even. 

You're here though already, a step ahead of the game.  I've a feeling you'll do fine.  Just enjoy yourself.  Wish I could be 19 again.  Do the stuff you want to, expand your horizons, take classes you think aren't for you, do stuff you're afraid of, don't be afraid to make mistakes (just not damaging permanent ones), do stuff you'll tell your kids about.
« Last Edit: September 28, 2014, 02:42:20 PM by Johnez »

Outlier

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #73 on: September 28, 2014, 09:23:40 PM »
Alright here's my take on this. You're young and it will never come again. If you have anything on your mind that seems nuts and awesome just go do it with two rules. Don't pay for any of it with compound interest debt IE credit cards. Don't get mixed up in marriage or drugs.

If you decide to go take some epic crazy life changing quest at 19 and go to college at 22 you're not missing crap. Everyone your age is going to school or living at home working crap jobs that don't amount to anything. This is the time when nothing matters just go do crazy shit with no regrets. I'd do it right now if I wasn't 33 and paying off a ton of stuff.

When you get back pick something you like and go be the best at it. Get a BA for it when it becomes necessary and not before. Seriously that's it. Find something you want to be awesome at and crush everyone else at that thing and ask to be compensated fairly for it.

If you like the trades don't be an electrician be the best electrician with the best reputation who starts the best electrical contracting company in the city. If you like to make money on commission be the best sales person who blows up sales numbers and makes everyone ask what their secret is and be the VP of sales. Just find what you like and be the best at it.

Oh and here's the down dirty money secrets old smart people told me. Never pay interest only get paid interest. If you can't pay for it cash go rethink it. Lastly max out every investment opportunity you have, that 401k pays you so fund it.


Outlier

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #74 on: September 28, 2014, 09:39:22 PM »
My advice is particular to women but I have been giving it to a young co-worker recently (she's 21.) Learn to stand up for yourself at work. Don't let fear of confrontation stop you from learning to speak up for what you want. In fact, every time you feel that knot of fear in your stomach that's a pretty good sign that you need to confront exactly the thing you want to turn away from. This impacts your financial life because if you are not getting raises and promotions and opportunities then you will end up far behind in the financial game. I've seen so many women in different workplaces get bitter and unhappy and become bad employees because they perceived that they were being passed over but they shared some of the blame for not speaking up.

Also start identifying early on what things in your life are truly important to you and therefore worth spending money on vs. thing that you don't care too much about and can scrimp on. My personal examples are travel is worth it but cars aren't for me.

Why is that advice particular to women? People of both sexes struggle with being assertive when they need to be, myself included.

+1 if you replace "women" with "people" you can double the great advice.

Well said. I really struggle with being assertive at work, particularly with most people I work with being 15-20 years older than me. I know it's something I need to work on, so right now I'm researching salary negotiations. I've gotten excellent reviews for the past two years, the company is doing well, I put in overtime voluntarily, and yet my raises have only been in line with inflation. I need to speak up for myself.
I certainly suggest anyone replace my pronouns as they see fit. My observation was based on my experience and in my years in various workplaces I have heard many women complain about being passed over for promotions and not getting raises when they felt they deserved them when they were also not stepping up to management and asking for what they wanted. I have not heard any men make these complaints and did not mean to suggest that no man needs this advice but as the question was addressed to the experience of each poster that is my observation based on mine.

In my experience men are more likely to ask for what they want because we get told we should be assertive growing up. Women get told they should wait to be acknowledged for their actions so they do. I think gender roles kinda screw people over if they buy into them. It's really hard not to though.
« Last Edit: September 29, 2014, 04:45:25 AM by Outlier »

Threshkin

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #75 on: September 29, 2014, 10:07:11 AM »
  • Like yourself!
  • Save for retirement now!
  • Have fun, but don't waste money.
  • Get a practical education.
  • Stay flexible in all things.
  • There is more to life than girls (or guys).
  • Not every "friend" is a friend.
  • Listen to advice but make your own decisions.

arebelspy

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #76 on: September 29, 2014, 11:17:18 PM »
David over at Raptitude had a relevant post on this topic today.

http://www.raptitude.com/2014/09/dear-young-men/

It starts out good, but then sidetracks into a pro-feminism  rant, which, while I agree with it, would have been better served as its own article.

Nevertheless, posting here because I think it's worth reading, both the relevant part and the sidetrack.
I am a former teacher who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, spent some time traveling the world full time and am now settled with three kids.
If you want to know more about me, this Business Insider profile tells the story pretty well.
I (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out the Now page to see what I'm up to currently.

pagoconcheques

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #77 on: September 30, 2014, 09:38:58 AM »
If your plans include a college degree, do the ROI for your intended major and understand how it varies depending on where you study. 


Luke Warm

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #78 on: September 30, 2014, 10:01:39 AM »
learn how to be poor and live that way. have adventures. be sociable. don't hang out with losers. save til it hurts.

Spartana

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #79 on: September 30, 2014, 01:03:29 PM »
Below is a list I did for my neice recently as a card.
On the financial side, the main one would be NO to finance companies.


LOVE THIS! What a great Aunt you are.

Doaner19

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #80 on: September 30, 2014, 04:20:07 PM »
Skip college.  Learn a trade.  Stay out of debt.

mpg350

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #81 on: September 30, 2014, 04:24:32 PM »
To not buy the house I bought in 2007 and wait a few more years.

Besides that I don't have any regrets in life.

EvenKeeled

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #82 on: October 01, 2014, 12:10:56 AM »
I'm new here and tempted to refer my nephews (18 and 21) to the article on the simple math of early retirement. But I think unsolicited advice has to be handled very carefully.

Besides, I ought to get my own stuff together before trying to influence other people!

amberfocus

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #83 on: October 01, 2014, 07:17:44 AM »
Context: College was a dozen years ago for me, and I went to an elite private institution. The following will reflect my personal experiences.

If you're working (or doing work-study), and you haven't opened an IRA, DO IT NOW. And fund it to the fullest extent of your abilities. I would even borrow money from your parents if you have to.

If you're living in on-campus housing, get the hell out as soon as humanly possible. The prices are outrageous. Rent a nearby apartment with some friends.

If you're on the campus meal plan, get the hell off as soon as humanly possible. The prices are outrageous. Buy food at the local supermarket and cook it yourself.

Buy used textbooks online (or from upperclassmen) rather than from the campus bookstore. This will require some fore-planning, but it will save you tons, and will make no difference to the quality of your education.

A lot of your friends are going to be immature and spendy. Do have some fun if you're so inclined, but party in moderation, and don't give in to peer-pressure. Alcohol is expensive.

If you have the opportunity to study abroad, take it. But learn about youth hostels and use them.

College is a unique time of your life when you can be easily exposed to a wide variety of different people, perspectives, and experiences. Let your world be expanded by that. Question everything and ditch your comfort zone. Some of the unexpected lessons you learn can last a lifetime.

retired?

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Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #84 on: October 01, 2014, 07:46:09 AM »
Don't fuck around in college.  Treat it like a job.

People have mentioned majors.  If you go to a decent school, it won't matter too much.  Most undergrad business programs are a bunch of hooey.  Choose math or econ if you have background, aptitude.  Seems these are considered respectable regardless of eventual career.

Having said that, your actual school and major won't have nearly as much impact as you might expect.  It makes a difference, but I've seen people high up in the org chart that don't have impressive educational backgrounds.  Personality is a big factor.

Be confident in your relative skills.

justme89

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
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  • Posts: 3
Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #85 on: October 01, 2014, 12:55:40 PM »
- Make sure that what you buy would be something that you would still love in say 10+ years.

- Do not let anyone borrow money. It's sure to cause resentment 3 out of the 5 times. It's not worth it.

- Live life but still save as much as possible.

- Ignore peer pressure. Secured people do not try to bring others down.

Chuck

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 407
  • Age: 35
  • Location: Northern VA
Re: What would you tell your 19 year old self?
« Reply #86 on: October 01, 2014, 01:33:08 PM »
I was in the military at 19, so my advice may not apply to you. My advice to 19 year old me:

Max out your TSP, eat in the chow hall, don't buy that fucking Mitsubishi, and definitely don't get overly attached to Asia D.