We think we've just about figured it out. That might mean it's time for us to change our rules again.
Something that I've been mulling over for the last couple of weeks is what I really want my life to look like post FI.
Some of the things that I want to do are within my grasp if I plan a bit better and try to be more focused on what really matters to me. Perhaps some of the things that I idealize during my post-FI life are not really things that I truly care about and the procrastination is because it isn't my real interest. Perhaps I really don't want to go to the gym and lift 3X and week. Perhaps I wouldn't get more joy from being able to sit down and read a book a week. The expanded possibilities of achieving FI and being able to remove myself from the daily work grind are somewhat frightening.
Did I miss anything? Doing this exercise for myself has been really cathartic, especially during pandemic times. I honestly feel a bit energized about working towards doing some of the things I have on the list. I also realize that I may be a bit overly industrious about what one person can do in a day / month / year.
I'm interested in seeing what other people want to do in their lives both before and after reaching FI too. If you've done something like this, I'd like to see your outline.
It strikes me that most of the things OP (and other posters) list as desires for after FIRE are available now. That would be true for me as well. The only thing holding me (and many of you) back is the time and energy to do them all.
For me, some of the reason I don't do everything I want to do is a personal choice of prioritization and some is just not having enough time to fit working full time in with everything else I want to do. Another piece is being tired so I veg out in front of the TV more than I should.
The big attraction of FIRE for me is basically just having more time and energy to do the things I want to do.
I think the biggest issue with planning for FI is making the time to do the planning... especially with all of the other distractions in the average workweek.
It’s hard enough to dedicate the mental bandwidth to the exercise, let alone to devote a significant amount of effort on it:
https://the-military-guide.com/the-fog-of-work/I retired from U.S. military active duty in 2002, and I’ve been consistently unemployed for over 18 years. Here’s a few big-picture perspectives that I’ve learned to appreciate during the last 6658 days:
1. Your FI timescale moves more slowly than your working years. Things that you would have blazed through in a week at work may take a month of thoughtful part-time effort during FI. A month during your working career could be a year during FI.
This is your chance to experiment with different ideas and to develop a new set of habits. If you rush around during your FI days checking things off your list and then kick back at 5 PM, you might be doing it wrong.
In our FI family we’ve taken the mantra of working on a project for 20 minutes a day. (If you get into the flow, then a couple hours might be all right. Or maybe you stop when you begin to sweat.) Instead of planning for a day of work, we plan for a day of leisure interrupted by popping up from our indolence to do some work. I start my mornings with the things I enjoy (like writing, surfing, and reading) before tackling the things which have to be done.
2. When you were a young adult planning the next 10 years of your life, did any of it turn out the way you expected-- let alone on your timeline?
Then why would it work that way during FI?
Sure, make plans. However reassess those plans every 2-5 years and come up with a new plan.
I had no idea that I’d enjoy surfing as much as I do. I knew that we’d want to travel, but I never thought that we’d do it for 4-5 months of the year-- and that we wouldn’t even (*gasp*) bother tracking how much time or money we spent on it.
3. Everyone’s more physically ambitious about their FI goals. You’re going to run that marathon, join a Crossfit box, build your home gym, hike the Appalachian Trail, and lose 20 pounds.
Except that during the first month of this plan, you overtrain and then injure yourself.
Refer back to the first point about slowing down a little and taking a more gradual approach. You still need to do cardio & strength, but start slow/light and give yourself plenty of time to build up. Pretend that you’re finally recovering from a chronic disease (“workplace stress”) and let your body set the pace without beating yourself up.
Anyway here is my somewhat anonymized "ideal Life" outline:
Work
Instead of “learn to do a thing and then get better at it”, I’d limit yourself to “try these things.” If you’re not immediately hooked by something (which derails the rest of your list) then simply move on to the next thing and try it. As you try stuff, your “Try It” list might actually get longer.
Whatever you’re exploring, you don’t have to be efficient or even very effective at it. You just have to experience it and enjoy it. You have plenty of time to decide about committing. If it’s not a “Heck, yeah!!” response then I’d move on to something else.
If you are hooked by something, then do a deep dive into it on your own terms & timeline. I’m perpetually amazed by how much I can research from Google queries and YouTube videos.
Volunteer before you sign up for a commitment, and insist on only 1-2 hours a day with 1-2 days a week. If the people you’re working with want more than that, it’s unfair of you to agree to their terms and then burn out in two months. You also don’t want to lock yourself into anything when you’ve just become free to explore the entire world.
Living accommodations
I’ve lived in Hawaii for over half of my life, but we never expected that when we first saw the islands. (It was just another homeport, and it wasn't even our first pick.) As far as I can tell, I’m going to spend the rest of my life here for the climate and the culture. I’ve gone back to my hometown and to the places where my parents spent the rest of their lives, and... nope. I’m never living back there again. If anything, my daughter & her spouse (and their baby daughter) are returning to Hawaii.
Every time we visit a new country, we find ourselves asking “Could we live here?” In most cases the answer is “Yep!”, but it’s not Hawaii. However we still need to do our due diligence in South America, Asia, and Australia. Maybe I’ll find a better culture and even a better climate.
Don’t upheave your lifestyle when you first reach FI, but make the time to travel and explore. If you’re seeking a new place to live, then spend a month or two there like a local instead of a two-week visitor. If you want to explore a continent in an RV, then first rent one for a month.
If you build a list of living criteria, then stay open to changing the list after you’ve seen 3-4 places. You might not need to explore new places-- you might only need a new list. I’ve really enjoyed starting with TheEarthAwaits and then coming up with new ideas.
You’ll evolve even after FI, and so will your criteria. The “forever home” is a myth. (Military families are particularly vulnerable to this fantasy, and it causes tremendous stress.) If you find a place on your list, it’s all right to stay there for 10-20 years before exploring the rest of the list. Even if you’ve found the ideal place, it’s all right to change your mind after a few years and go find a new ideal place.
Physical Fitness
It’s a marathon. Start by walking it. Don’t overtrain, and don’t get hurt.
Consider whether you can do that thing for life, or at least have a Plan B. I still tremendously enjoy taekwondo, but further knee injuries are not worth the price. If I revert to coaching instead of competing, I’ll still risk hurting myself. Instead I get enough of the competitive thrill from surfing-- and there’s no commitment to a team or a dojang.
I want to backpack Haleakala Crater again, but I can’t recover from the intensity quickly enough to endure the four-day experience. (Let along avoid injury and a medevac.) I’ll have to settle for afternoon hikes and maybe camping (but probably an AirBnB).
Some days I can only handle an hour of yardwork (and an ibuprofen chaser) without adding an hour of surfing and another hour of repairing an appliance. Maybe I’ll take a walk, but more likely I’ll spend the rest of the day with a recovery nap, stretching, and reading.
Home life
That seems like a very detailed and busy list. Pace yourself.
In 2002 my detailed list was broken down into “very short range”, short range (a year), medium range (3-5 years), and “life.”
Today the first two categories are in a calendar app of recurring items (we check it every month or few) plus milestones like “Sign up for Medicare” and one-time variables like “Start Social Security this year?” The medium range is updated every few years (as my interests change).
The life list has items like “Be a good spouse” and “Be a good parent.” I’ve added “Be a good grandparent.” I never really saw that one coming when I reached FI with a nine-year-old.
I’ve also added indulgent goals like “Be a good team member without showing leadership.” (I’m still learning that I don’t have to optimize everything that I get involved in.) Other goals include “Net worth higher than lifetime earnings”, “collect more pension than salary”, and “join the top ten of our college’s oldest living alumni list.”
A new item is “Get rid of stuff before your caregivers have to get rid of it for you.”
Dreams
Several years ago we traveled with friends who had a copy of the book “1000 Places To See Before You Die.” We were wandering Italy for six weeks via a cruise ship and trains, and at every stop they checked the list.
That book darn near killed them, if I didn’t kill them first.
My spouse and I really enjoyed the ship, and we put up with one of the cruise’s eight-hour shore excursions. We spent way too much of the day being transported from one site to the next, and standing in line. After enduring that one we opted for itineraries of a morning or an afternoon, or just exploring on our own.
During the train part of our trip we’d arrive at a town, and my spouse and I would want to relax on the beach (after a swim) or explore 1-2 sites. We’d spend several hours of the day reading, writing, talking, or just watching videos. We’d have one major goal (“visit the museum”), a few chores (groceries), and maybe a restaurant or pub. After dinner we’d plan the next day in broad terms.
Our friends would rent a car and buzz all over a 50-mile radius to work the list. They’d be up at the crack of dawn, grab a cup of coffee on the way out the door, eat three meals on the road, put 150 miles on the car, and get home at 8 PM... then start drinking. Just being around them was exhausting.
Neither of us couples could understand why the other couple was living such a crazy lifestyle. After that trip we needed a vacation.
As you’re pursuing a dream, break it down into smaller chunks to repeatedly test whether the dream is worth the work. Do the parts you enjoy, and don’t feel obligated to endure the sucky parts just to get to the next enjoyable part. I’d recommend “The Everyday Bucket List Book” by a friend who’s pursuing her own FI:
https://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Bucket-List-Book-Experiences-ebook/dp/B07T7HKB6W/
