Poll

What's your relationship status? (Long term partners choose if it is closer to dating or marriage.)

Single
152 (27.6%)
Dating
77 (14%)
Engaged
32 (5.8%)
Married
277 (50.3%)
It's Complicated
9 (1.6%)
No Comment
4 (0.7%)

Total Members Voted: 523

Author Topic: what's your relationship status?  (Read 51543 times)

Elaine

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #50 on: March 18, 2014, 07:30:49 AM »
I chose "dating", which seems weird since we have lived together for 5+ years. "Partnered" would probably be more accurate.

rtrnow

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #51 on: March 18, 2014, 07:32:58 AM »
I chose "dating", which seems weird since we have lived together for 5+ years. "Partnered" would probably be more accurate.

Partnered should be included in the poll. I'm in a 10 year committed relationship without an option to marry so there is nothing to choose in this poll.

limeandpepper

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #52 on: March 18, 2014, 07:33:30 AM »
In a serious relationship for nearly 5 years, may or may not marry, it's just not such a big deal these days in Australia. We haven't even lived together yet, so, separate finances. Even when we live together, there seems to be no reason to merge in our current circumstances. Not sure if we'll have kids. We go dutch, but sometimes we treat each other. If one of us earns or accumulates enough money for the two of us, the rich one would probably take on the role of the financial provider. Or, if one person is somehow at a disadvantage, then the other person will take care of things. Right now, we're pretty equal so there's no reason why one should financially support another, and pooling won't make much difference either.

MissStache

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #53 on: March 18, 2014, 07:37:52 AM »
I'm single, 42, no kids, never been married.  Finding it very hard to meet anyone frugal or even be frugal while dating (despite the Scottish stereotype of the mean Scotsman!)

If only we were lesbians!  Because there is nothing I love more than a Scottish accent, except perhaps watching mists roll over ruined castles and lonely heathered moors!

Elaine

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #54 on: March 18, 2014, 07:39:54 AM »
I chose "dating", which seems weird since we have lived together for 5+ years. "Partnered" would probably be more accurate.

Partnered should be included in the poll. I'm in a 10 year committed relationship without an option to marry so there is nothing to choose in this poll.

Agreed, I get the sense that the forum is overwhelmingly straight/cis so I think it just didn't occur to them to add it.

Silvie

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #55 on: March 18, 2014, 07:54:06 AM »
Living together since December. Can anyone explain why it's called "going Dutch?" Being Dutch myself, I don't understand why it's called going Dutch. My bf and I have separate finances.

Davin

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #56 on: March 18, 2014, 08:48:11 AM »
Cohabiting couple here! It's definitely easier to build wealth as a couple, since the expenses are cut in half but the income stays the same.

I agree.  Looking around the forum, there was a thread a few weeks ago about characteristics of early retirees, and it listed 'still married to their first spouse' there.

It seems that a couple has synergy on its side - being able to share expenses and bail each other out in tough times (emotionally as well as financially).  But a divorce will completely frag your finances and, looking at my friends who are divorced, set you back worse than if you'd stayed single the whole time.

It really depends on your situation.  Sometimes it is not the divorce itself that frags your finances, but the person you are divorcing. My divorce cost me between $60-70k, but was one of the best financial moves of my life. My ex was dragging us deeper and deeper into debt every year, but since we split up my net worth has grown seemingly logarithmically. The credit is not all mine, my new girlfriend (Not married yet, but sharing expenses) has played a huge role in making this happen; but my point is it is all about having the right partner, not necessarily the first. I'm sure there are a lot of mustachians in a similar position to mine. The expenses are not cut in half as a couple, you both have to eat, but it is more efficient.

dcheesi

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #57 on: March 18, 2014, 09:00:30 AM »
Long distance relationship, aka the worst case scenario for saving money. Separate households, lots of driving back and forth, etc. And since we only see each other on weekends, and have to make a special trip to do so, we've never moved beyond the perceived need to do something special ($$$) when we get together.

Rachelocity

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #58 on: March 18, 2014, 09:15:47 AM »
Crazy cat lady!

Oh good, I thought I was the only one!

As if!  *wipes cat hair from yoga pants*

HSLmom

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #59 on: March 18, 2014, 09:17:32 AM »
Divorced, 3 kids, no support.  I save 33% of my income (not as mustaschian as most of you, but better than the stereotypical single mom).  He was horrible with money, so I was used to making do with what was left over and I continued those habits once I was in control of all the finances. 


sparklebunny

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #60 on: March 18, 2014, 09:23:46 AM »
Currently separated, waiting for one year to be up so can file for divorce.  Hoping to one day find a mustaschian love interest.

Insanity

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #61 on: March 18, 2014, 09:24:42 AM »
Somewhere in between married and divorced..  things are quite ugly right now and not sure whether they will get better or not.  we have had the divorce discussion. 

so.. it is complicated..  we've been married for 9+ years, together 12+ years and have 2 kids.  Things are pretty much joint (her car is in her name, for some reason she wanted to do that, I still have no idea why as the reason she gave was not accurate, but that was over 4 years ago).


Spork

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #62 on: March 18, 2014, 09:27:14 AM »
Married 19 years (to crazy cat lady... or, more correctly, to Ellie May Clampett).  No kids.  Finances 100% merged.  She mostly does a lot of the financial planning -- mostly because she's able to do it less emotionally and more rationally than I do.  (I had a habit of buying stock in companies I wanted to succeed instead of buying companies that were successful.)  I would say we're pretty financially compatible: both somewhat cheapskates; both savers.

ketchup

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #63 on: March 18, 2014, 09:34:17 AM »
"Dating" I guess.  Been together 2.50685 years, known each other for 4.2712 years.  Cohabitating with another couple (her sister and sister's boyfriend).  We have separate finances, but buy each other little things every so often and not keep meticulous track of it all.  I'm more frugal than her, but she's very much on the anti-consumerism, anti-expensive-cars, anti-let's-buy-stupid-crap, bandwagon.  One car between the two of us (mine). 

Yesterday I figured out our combined net worth is roughly $30,000 more than her sister and sister's boyfriend (and we're 23 and 21; not exactly super financially established yet).  That was legitimately frightening.  We make about the same as them (a little less, at the moment, and probably more in the near future).

simonsez

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #64 on: March 18, 2014, 10:02:44 AM »
Married, year and a half

Cohabiting couple here! It's definitely easier to build wealth as a couple, since the expenses are cut in half but the income stays the same.

We go dutch all the way and have separate bank account, but joint credit cards. We put everything on credit cards and do payouts down to the penny twice a month. When we do go out to restaurants (rarely), we split the cost of food we share and pay fo our own drinks or whatever separately.

Just curious, what's the benefit of having joint credit cards if you pay them off separately?

Two reasons: First, to maximize credit card rewards. Second, it's a lot easier to do payouts with our 3 joint cards, at 50% each, than with six individual cards and a bunch of complicated math to figure out who owes what.
Another reason is related to FICO scores (as it relates to joint cards and not necessarily paying them separately, although we do just like Zikoris):

It can help with all five categories of a FICO score but the obvious ones are 1. increasing the average age of accounts (15% of FICO calculation) for that person that may not have as much credit history/score as their spouse 2. debt utilization (30% of FICO calculation) would most likely go down for mustachians* which is a good thing and 3. as long as the person with the lower score is being added to the higher person's account, they take on the payment history (35% of score), which is hopefully a good history.

*if someone was linked to an account that was highly utilized, or at least when compared to the previous overall revolving debt utilization ratio, this would cause debt utilization to increase.  However, as long as increasing the total credit limit across all revolving accounts (via being added as an authorized user) while keeping spending relatively constant it should go down.

senecando

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #65 on: March 18, 2014, 10:37:39 AM »
Living together since December. Can anyone explain why it's called "going Dutch?" Being Dutch myself, I don't understand why it's called going Dutch. My bf and I have separate finances.

"Going Dutch" means paying for what you ordered at a restaurant instead of chivalrizing all over the bill. Etymology of this phrase is disputed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_Dutch#Etymology There's a chance it comes from when the English called everything that they thought was backwards "Dutch."

(Fun facts, because I've gone down this rabbithole: "Some Latin American countries use the Spanish phrase pagar a la americana (literally "to pay American style") which refers to a trait attributed to people from the United States or Canada." and "In El Salvador the rhyming phrase Ley de Esparta... Cada quien paga lo que se harta, which means 'Spartan Law, each pays what he/she eats'.")

Also, according to stateside publications, at least, the Dutch aren't half as interested in marriage as folks in the US. E.g.  this link. I'm not sure whether or not this is what people are referring to above, but the first person to post about splitting finances also was in a long-term non-marriage relationship.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 10:43:54 AM by senecando »

Polket

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #66 on: March 18, 2014, 10:55:51 AM »
I'm single with no kids. Looking a nice frugal woman :)

Me 2. There's none left. Seriously. Where are you all??
*Waves hand in the air!* Meeeeee. I'm single.

This. I'm 26. It's slim pickins out there, especially for the frugal type. All the girls around here are too concerned with material and partying their ass off and wonder how they spend $400 a month at the bar. But I'm so busy with playing music and working that I'm barely looking.

I've gone on a date recently, it was pretty much a wash. And this girl comes from money and uhh, dinner was expensive; she's a bit far from frugal.
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 10:58:20 AM by Polket »

Nickyd£g

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #67 on: March 18, 2014, 10:58:04 AM »
I'm single, 42, no kids, never been married.  Finding it very hard to meet anyone frugal or even be frugal while dating (despite the Scottish stereotype of the mean Scotsman!)

If only we were lesbians!  Because there is nothing I love more than a Scottish accent, except perhaps watching mists roll over ruined castles and lonely heathered moors!

Hahaha!  That would be one solution I suppose!

MissPeach

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #68 on: March 18, 2014, 10:59:03 AM »
Divorced. It cost a lot but it was worth it financially (and emotionally) in the end. My ex was a big spender and spent every last penny in his pocket. Influenced me for a time to do the same.

Carlsky

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #69 on: March 18, 2014, 11:19:37 AM »
Married for almost 7 years now, two kids, 4 year old girl, 2 year old boy and baby number 3 is due on June 2nd.  Our finances are combined and we meet every other Friday night when I get paid to review our budget.  Friday night budget parties...this is what my life has come to.

Bookworm

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #70 on: March 18, 2014, 11:50:13 AM »
Married, with one daughter (23) living on her own, one son (19) in college and semi-independent (pays for his own school costs, entertainment, clothing, and vehicle costs but not food/medical/dental), and another son (15) and daughter (13) still at home and, of course, fully dependent.

Elaine

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #71 on: March 18, 2014, 12:18:17 PM »
I'm single with no kids. Looking a nice frugal woman :)

Me 2. There's none left. Seriously. Where are you all??
*Waves hand in the air!* Meeeeee. I'm single.

This. I'm 26. It's slim pickins out there, especially for the frugal type. All the girls around here are too concerned with material and partying their ass off and wonder how they spend $400 a month at the bar. But I'm so busy with playing music and working that I'm barely looking.

I've gone on a date recently, it was pretty much a wash. And this girl comes from money and uhh, dinner was expensive; she's a bit far from frugal.

Don't give up hope, we do exist! I have found that girls who are into outdoorsy things, volunteering, gaming, and biking tend to be less materialistic and more DIY/frugal. 

Polket

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #72 on: March 18, 2014, 12:41:46 PM »

Don't give up hope, we do exist! I have found that girls who are into outdoorsy things, volunteering, gaming, and biking tend to be less materialistic and more DIY/frugal.

Yeah I'm keeping my hopes up. I've noticed that for sure though, the outdoorsy types are definitely more frugal. Which is good for me since I love the outdoors!

boy_bye

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #73 on: March 18, 2014, 12:55:50 PM »
i never thought i'd get married. i never had what you would call "good luck" with love and hardly ever had a boyfriend ... but life is funny and i got hitched to a lovely scotsman about a year and a half ago. we've got a good thing going on, but i have to admit i still kind of identify with the spinsterhood!

we have been in the process of merging our finances since we got married and we're almost there. by the end of this year, we'll be out of debt and really starting to accumulate some assets ... exciting!
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 12:58:59 PM by madgeylou »

crumbcatcher

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #74 on: March 18, 2014, 02:01:23 PM »
I had to choose "It's Complicated" because I'm married, but separated. The financial situation is the complicated part; after 3.5 years of separation I'm still unwinding my finances from his well-being.  Only reason we aren't divorced is that he can stay on my medical coverage this way. I don't really care what it is called, as long as I don't have to live with him. We have both been good about honoring our agreements, which is helpful.

But... complicated.


Splendid

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #75 on: March 18, 2014, 02:15:20 PM »
Crazy cat lady!

Oh good, I thought I was the only one!

I guess there are at least 3 of us:)

I have a feeling we are very well represented around here!

I'll add myself to the ranks of crazy cat lady. Though, in all fairness, it's my cat that is crazy, not me.
I'm single, but rooming with a relative at the moment and our finances are merged. (No, I'm not a mooch! We did work out the situation beforehand, and have written agreements and all that). It's working out well, but I am looking forward to making my own financial decisions based on my own priorities.

Fonzico

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #76 on: March 18, 2014, 02:51:25 PM »
Married for two years, but together for 11 years, so our finances have slowly been merging over time.

In a strictly pragmatic sense, I would have a higher net worth right now if I had been single, as I worked to put him through University (with help from his parents and some not-outrageous student loans), but I suspect that will even out over time as his education is starting to pay off, wage-wise. The loans are almost all paid off now, so we'll start 'stashing for real within the next couple months.

In actual real-life terms, I wouldn't regret it even if it didn't even out, as I'm married to my best friend (yeah, whatever, I know it's corny, but it's true) and we have a blast together. Fortunately, he is anti-consumerist, fairly frugal, and quite handy, so we make a good pair financially speaking as well, and while we may have gotten off to a slow start (27 with approx. zero net worth, if you don't count the car) I have no doubt that we'll meet our goals together handily.

wild wendella

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #77 on: March 18, 2014, 03:12:44 PM »
Married 12 years.  Everything is merged.

30.  in a serious relationship for 11 years.  we are shacked up and have a 9.5 year old.  everything is in my name, but only because i'm usually the only one working and since we aren't married the bank wouldn't put him on the loan.  i pay for just about everything.  when he isn't being a SAHD and works for a bit his money is spending money for him, although he does like to take me out to dinner with it quite often =)
i am funding our retirement.  i do all of this (mostly) happily.  he runs the house and he runs it well, that is worth its weight in gold.

I always want to hug you when I read your posts about how much you appreciate your bf's role in the relationship. :)  My husband says similar things and it's great to have such a supportive partner.

ace1224, my husband is also a SAHD (a recent occupation for him, as our son is only 18 months).  I couldn't agree with you more about the immeasurable value my husband adds to our family.  He's so great at raising our son, too.  I can't imagine how much harder everything would be (for me) if both of us worked full time.

We have separate bank, investing and retirement accounts, but since I'm the only one working right now I just pay all bills out of my bank account.  We share a credit card.  I feel that whenever my husband goes back to work we will probably combine our checking account.  Seems like it would be easier that way.  There is no 'I' in team!
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 03:22:57 PM by wild wendella »

marty998

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #78 on: March 18, 2014, 03:38:34 PM »
I'm single with no kids. Looking a nice frugal woman :)

Me 2. There's none left. Seriously. Where are you all??
*Waves hand in the air!* Meeeeee. I'm single.

*sigh* if you weren't so far away LOL :)

avonlea

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #79 on: March 18, 2014, 03:56:36 PM »
Married 12 years.  Everything is merged.

30.  in a serious relationship for 11 years.  we are shacked up and have a 9.5 year old.  everything is in my name, but only because i'm usually the only one working and since we aren't married the bank wouldn't put him on the loan.  i pay for just about everything.  when he isn't being a SAHD and works for a bit his money is spending money for him, although he does like to take me out to dinner with it quite often =)
i am funding our retirement.  i do all of this (mostly) happily.  he runs the house and he runs it well, that is worth its weight in gold.

I always want to hug you when I read your posts about how much you appreciate your bf's role in the relationship. :)  My husband says similar things and it's great to have such a supportive partner.

ace1224, my husband is also a SAHD (a recent occupation for him, as our son is only 18 months).  I couldn't agree with you more about the immeasurable value my husband adds to our family.  He's so great at raising our son, too.  I can't imagine how much harder everything would be (for me) if both of us worked full time.

We have separate bank, investing and retirement accounts, but since I'm the only one working right now I just pay all bills out of my bank account.  We share a credit card.  I feel that whenever my husband goes back to work we will probably combine our checking account.  Seems like it would be easier that way.  There is no 'I' in team!

I'm going to give you an internet hug, too, wild wendella. :)  And I want to add that you, ace, and my husband are so awesome in being comfortable with taking on the sole income earner role.  I know it has to be stressful at times.   I'm planning to work again in 4-8 years (depends on a few factors).  But once I do have a job, that earned money will be combined with my husband's, just like the money in our relationship has always been...well, I guess we have individual retirement accounts b/c that's how they are set up--but in theory, we see them as merged.

FrugalZony

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #80 on: March 18, 2014, 04:26:57 PM »
Soon to be crazy cat lady...actually I already am....relationship or not...
speaking of relationships....married for 13 years, been together for 23+ years, currently in the process of separating, most likely headed for divorce soon
....so I selected "it's complicated"

Have had separate finances all the way...very grateful for that now ;)


Russ

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #81 on: March 18, 2014, 04:32:15 PM »
I'm single with no kids. Looking a nice frugal woman :)

Me 2. There's none left. Seriously. Where are you all??
*Waves hand in the air!* Meeeeee. I'm single.

*sigh* if you weren't so far away LOL :)

<-- the PM button is right over there
« Last Edit: March 18, 2014, 04:37:31 PM by Russ »

Khan

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #82 on: March 19, 2014, 03:00:16 AM »
Single, 26 M. It's my normal state of being.

Nudelkopf

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #83 on: March 19, 2014, 05:07:05 AM »
<-- the PM button is right over there
I've already responded to his personal add, so don't worry :P

marty998

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #84 on: March 19, 2014, 05:18:37 AM »
<-- the PM button is right over there
I've already responded to his personal add, so don't worry :P

haha :D yeah afraid the round trip commute of 3000 miles for a coffee posed a bit of a problem.

Indio

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #85 on: March 19, 2014, 06:17:43 AM »
Single but not quite the crazy cat lady because I've got chickens, ducks and bees all keeping me company in suburbia. I'm very focused on environmental and sustainability issues so it's hard to find someone with a similar mindset in this suburb of NYC where the focus is on consumption. 

Silvie

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #86 on: March 19, 2014, 07:03:10 AM »
Living together since December. Can anyone explain why it's called "going Dutch?" Being Dutch myself, I don't understand why it's called going Dutch. My bf and I have separate finances.

"Going Dutch" means paying for what you ordered at a restaurant instead of chivalrizing all over the bill. Etymology of this phrase is disputed: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Going_Dutch#Etymology There's a chance it comes from when the English called everything that they thought was backwards "Dutch."

(Fun facts, because I've gone down this rabbithole: "Some Latin American countries use the Spanish phrase pagar a la americana (literally "to pay American style") which refers to a trait attributed to people from the United States or Canada." and "In El Salvador the rhyming phrase Ley de Esparta... Cada quien paga lo que se harta, which means 'Spartan Law, each pays what he/she eats'.")


Also, according to stateside publications, at least, the Dutch aren't half as interested in marriage as folks in the US. E.g.  this link. I'm not sure whether or not this is what people are referring to above, but the first person to post about splitting finances also was in a long-term non-marriage relationship.

Huh interesting. Facepunch for the English for calling the Dutch "backwards" lol. But I guess the money part is true, my bf and I ususally split the bill, or we take turns paying. And yes, people here tend to get married late compared to the US. Almost no one under 30 gets married, unless they're religious.

RMD

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #87 on: March 19, 2014, 07:30:53 AM »
Married.  We "dated" for 7-8 years before we married and merged finances fairly early in- joint bank accounts, bought a house together, etc.  We've been married for almost 11 years...so together for 18-ish.  So far it's going well.  :)

KulshanGirl

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #88 on: March 19, 2014, 07:55:15 PM »
Single and just hitting the dating scene again after about a year.  I'm in new territory as a 42 yo single mom. :) 

freedom14

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #89 on: March 19, 2014, 08:46:18 PM »
Ages 40 and 38 with 3 kids. Together for @ 25 years and married for 18 1/2. Finances have always been merged and have never regretted it!

Together since 13 years old??

MrCash

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #90 on: March 19, 2014, 08:56:17 PM »
Ages 40 and 38 with 3 kids. Together for @ 25 years and married for 18 1/2. Finances have always been merged and have never regretted it!

Together since 13 years old??

I think the 18 1/2 is included in the 25 years.  So 6 1/2 years together before marriage.

pachnik

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #91 on: March 19, 2014, 09:47:43 PM »
We live together common law.  We dated for 7 years and moved in together about a year ago.  Wish we'd done it sooner!

RNwastash

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #92 on: March 19, 2014, 11:25:13 PM »
Married to a very frugal/ DYI guy for 23 years.  He put me through school and helped me get over my materialistic earlier years.  He made me in charge of our finances when I was staying home, shopping, and he was working.  After a complete 180 turn around, my friends say that I "squeek" when I walk.  Life is great when you are on the same page.

lizfish

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #93 on: March 20, 2014, 02:39:35 AM »
Together for 12 years, co-habiting for 10,  married for 3.5. Both have our own money and contribute proportionally by income to joint account for mortgage, bills, holidays and such. Cars are saved for and run separately. If i stopped earning (say when we have kids) we might consider combining (esp to avoid an 'allowance' situation) We are both pretty good with money and our respective baby 'staches are considered 'our money' but we both like the fact we can do what we want with our own money whilst completely supporting our joint goals. Works for us.

DH has earned more in his career than I have so far in our relationship but I am 7 years younger so I suspect I will probably be taking up some slack in a few years when he's 50 and thinking of kicking back a bit. We're a bit behind for very early retirement (I'm 32 and he's 39) but we're currently aiming for 55 for him. FI will be worth it along with a paid off house. We're so far ahead of most people we know but that's easy to forget when you're aiming for FI(RE)

SMP

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #94 on: March 20, 2014, 03:47:49 AM »
Together for six years, married for one year.
Bought a house one year ago
Everything is merged. House, accounts, savings, credit card.
Except one account for allowance for each (So i don't have to argue about spending money on games, PC equipment and so on).
Several insurances are on her name, because she is a teacher and this is cheaper for us.

avonlea

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #95 on: March 20, 2014, 07:14:06 AM »
Ages 40 and 38 with 3 kids. Together for @ 25 years and married for 18 1/2. Finances have always been merged and have never regretted it!

Together since 13 years old??

Childhood sweethearts.

Squirrel away

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #96 on: March 20, 2014, 08:21:15 AM »
I'm married and we have been together 21 years this year although I'm still fairly young at 38. We have only really been planning our financial future seriously for the past couple of years.

sleepyguy

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #97 on: March 20, 2014, 11:17:37 AM »
Been together over 10yrs... i think it's about 12 or 13 now... lost count.  Not married but Common Law.  All finances shared since 2nd year.

Amazing girl, we just had our 2nd kid not too long ago.  We kinda contrast in our ways... she's a bit of a planner/worry wort... while i'm more of a go-with-the-flow, no worries guy.  She has said I've 'chilled' her out a bit and she made me much more responsible.  So we work well together :)

Both extremely happy together.  She has always had FIRE since I met her, not extreme or anything but like at 50.
« Last Edit: March 20, 2014, 11:19:11 AM by sleepyguy »

cbgg

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #98 on: March 20, 2014, 04:33:22 PM »
i ask because i'm curious if it's easier to accumulate wealth staying single or shacking up with someone or being in a relationship. and if you are in a relationship/or cohabitate do you guys go dutch all the way?

I'm recently married (1 year anniversary next week - woot woot!).

In answer to your question about which option is easier - I think it 100% depends on the nature of your relationship.  In my case I think that on the balance being married will probably (??) help me build wealth...but it's complicated.  The one thing that I do know and that is essential to me is that my husband is on the same page about money.  My values toward money are deeply set, so there is no way I could have married someone who didn't have similar values.

On the positive side:
 - my husband earns a high income, so that's a benefit for me!
 - marrying him opens up the opportunity for me to seek work in the USA rather than just in Canada, which MIGHT increase my earning potential (yet to be seen, but I hope so!).  Yes, I hope to be one the those immigrants who "took yer jerbs"...until I retire early :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik
 - In general we have the ability to live in the USA or Canada, which could come in handy at various times in life.  It's not as easy as you would think to move back and forth, but at least the option is there.
 - We are both naturally frugal (well, compared to normal folks, not necessarily compared to the mustachian army) and we motivate each other to save money and make frugal choices. 
 - When we are finally able to live together (visa processes are no joke!) we will have some economies of scale.  Honestly though, not a huge change since we've each had roommates the majority of the time that we've lived apart.  At the very least, keeping up with cooking and cleaning will become easier when there are two of us to pitch in!
 - A positive for him - my family is somewhat wealthy (in the middle class sense, not like east coast blue bloods) and give us a LOT even though we don't need the help.

On the negative side
 - It's likely we'll move back and forth between Canada and the USA throughout our lives.  This makes our financial lives complicated and disadvantaged in certain ways.  We can't take advantage of all the same retirement vehicles as people who live in either Canada or the USA (thanks for that, IRS).  It also means we'll likely have to pay for some tax prep & planning support at some stage.  We will probably also end up in weird limbos at various times with regards to our contributions to social security vs CPP, EI type benefits, etc.
 - My family and his family do not live in the same place.  This puts us in the traveling to see family, for holidays, etc, which makes life more costly.  If I were single I'd certainly settle down near my family and not have this cost.
 - For my DH, if he was single he'd be totally free to chase the money in his career.  (He can opt for short term transfers to different locations for a significant bump in pay).  He is doing this currently, however, once I've moved to be with him we'll have two careers to worry about and it won't be quite as easy to just pick up and go where the money is flowing.
 - A negative for me - his family is not so great on the money front.  I'm seriously concerned that we'll end up supporting them financially in their retirement, which is shitty.

lizzzi

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Re: what's your relationship status?
« Reply #99 on: March 20, 2014, 04:54:55 PM »
Together for 19 years, married for 18. Financial attitudes very similar. (Mustachian.) Throw incomes into the pot, and share and share alike.

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!