i ask because i'm curious if it's easier to accumulate wealth staying single or shacking up with someone or being in a relationship. and if you are in a relationship/or cohabitate do you guys go dutch all the way?
I'm recently married (1 year anniversary next week - woot woot!).
In answer to your question about which option is easier - I think it 100% depends on the nature of your relationship. In my case I think that on the balance being married will probably (??) help me build wealth...but it's complicated. The one thing that I do know and that is essential to me is that my husband is on the same page about money. My values toward money are deeply set, so there is no way I could have married someone who didn't have similar values.
On the positive side:
- my husband earns a high income, so that's a benefit for me!
- marrying him opens up the opportunity for me to seek work in the USA rather than just in Canada, which MIGHT increase my earning potential (yet to be seen, but I hope so!). Yes, I hope to be one the those immigrants who "took yer jerbs"...until I retire early :D
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=768h3Tz4Qik - In general we have the ability to live in the USA or Canada, which could come in handy at various times in life. It's not as easy as you would think to move back and forth, but at least the option is there.
- We are both naturally frugal (well, compared to normal folks, not necessarily compared to the mustachian army) and we motivate each other to save money and make frugal choices.
- When we are finally able to live together (visa processes are no joke!) we will have some economies of scale. Honestly though, not a huge change since we've each had roommates the majority of the time that we've lived apart. At the very least, keeping up with cooking and cleaning will become easier when there are two of us to pitch in!
- A positive for him - my family is somewhat wealthy (in the middle class sense, not like east coast blue bloods) and give us a LOT even though we don't need the help.
On the negative side
- It's likely we'll move back and forth between Canada and the USA throughout our lives. This makes our financial lives complicated and disadvantaged in certain ways. We can't take advantage of all the same retirement vehicles as people who live in either Canada or the USA (thanks for that, IRS). It also means we'll likely have to pay for some tax prep & planning support at some stage. We will probably also end up in weird limbos at various times with regards to our contributions to social security vs CPP, EI type benefits, etc.
- My family and his family do not live in the same place. This puts us in the traveling to see family, for holidays, etc, which makes life more costly. If I were single I'd certainly settle down near my family and not have this cost.
- For my DH, if he was single he'd be totally free to chase the money in his career. (He can opt for short term transfers to different locations for a significant bump in pay). He is doing this currently, however, once I've moved to be with him we'll have two careers to worry about and it won't be quite as easy to just pick up and go where the money is flowing.
- A negative for me - his family is not so great on the money front. I'm seriously concerned that we'll end up supporting them financially in their retirement, which is shitty.