what's your relationship status?

[Spartana]

Single and, like sunnyca, will probably stay that way. I feel too old to bother and I'm an androgynous bookish granola type. Most guys my age are looking for much younger women and well, there's always dating women, which I have done, but meeting someone is not easy.

Well you can join me in dating younger men! Only problem is they all want to continue working for the next thousand years to build up the 'stache rather than ER and spend their days playing  -  and I'm there already.

[sunnyca]

Single and, like sunnyca, will probably stay that way. I feel too old to bother and I'm an androgynous bookish granola type. Most guys my age are looking for much younger women and well, there's always dating women, which I have done, but meeting someone is not easy.

Well you can join me in dating younger men! Only problem is they all want to continue working for the next thousand years to build up the 'stache rather than ER and spend their days playing  -  and I'm there already.

I've always dated guys 5-10 years older, because I haven't been that interesting to men my own age.  I'm the quiet bookish type that hikes and camps, and most guys here want someone more outgoing and polished. 

Maybe once I achieve FIRE and leave Southern CA, things will change.

[Freckles]

How attached are you to that CA sunshine?  Because guys here in Portland love your type.  I lived in L.A. for 15 years, so I know what you mean about the dating scene there.  You belong up here.  :)

[Bakari]

There's a pretty good number of us here in between, in norcal, too

[Spartana]

Single and, like sunnyca, will probably stay that way. I feel too old to bother and I'm an androgynous bookish granola type. Most guys my age are looking for much younger women and well, there's always dating women, which I have done, but meeting someone is not easy.

Well you can join me in dating younger men! Only problem is they all want to continue working for the next thousand years to build up the 'stache rather than ER and spend their days playing  -  and I'm there already.

I've always dated guys 5-10 years older, because I haven't been that interesting to men my own age.  I'm the quiet bookish type that hikes and camps, and most guys here want someone more outgoing and polished. 

Maybe once I achieve FIRE and leave Southern CA, things will change.

I'm in The O.C. too (HB) so know what you're talking about. But my experience has been the opposite with dating younger men vs. men my age or older.  But then I'm older then you and had already retired when I was 42 so have probably had different dating experiences.    My experience since retiring has been that most guys my age or older are very into their image and accumulating wealth to support that image. And they are willing to work long hours and until late in life to have that lifestyle. Wanting the McMercedes, the McMansion on the beach, fine dining, expensive stuff, the expensive toys, entertainment, trips, and hobbies (golf at the private club), and all that material stuff and the eye-candy woman to go along with all that.  But I have found that many guys younger then me by 5 to 10 years are more into a simpler life. They want to hike and bike and camp and surf and play beach volleyball all day long. They could care less about status things and seem to be drawn to more down to earth women - those who are outdoorsy, into sports and recreational minded, etc...  So that's the reason I like younger guy.   Well...One of the reason's I like younger guys :-)!

However, I too am tired of the SoCal - especially the OC - materialism most people here seem to want so will be moving  somewhere else soon.  I had live in Big Bear Lake when I first quit work and it was much more down to earth but it's still a little too "SoCal" for me.  Personally not looking for a partner myself (love love love being single and unattached) but would be nice to be in a place with less materialistic people overall.

[mjs111]

Single and will probably stay that way- dating prospects here are terrible.

I hear you, sunnyca. I'm also an Orange County resident (Irvine).  That said, I haven't dated in another area in a while at this point.  It might be terrible everywhere! :)


Mike

[sunnyca]

How attached are you to that CA sunshine?  Because guys here in Portland love your type.  I lived in L.A. for 15 years, so I know what you mean about the dating scene there.  You belong up here.  :)

Not addicted to the CA sunshine so much, but I am kind of attached to my job and its benefits.  I've been looking at local government jobs in other states, though (CO, MT, and OR) so I may end up in your neck of the woods! :)

Single and will probably stay that way- dating prospects here are terrible.

I hear you, sunnyca. I'm also an Orange County resident (Irvine).  That said, I haven't dated in another area in a while at this point.  It might be terrible everywhere! :)


Mike

As a male, I'm surprised that you're having a hard time dating!  The male:female ratio in CA is at least 2:1 :) 

Single and, like sunnyca, will probably stay that way. I feel too old to bother and I'm an androgynous bookish granola type. Most guys my age are looking for much younger women and well, there's always dating women, which I have done, but meeting someone is not easy.

Well you can join me in dating younger men! Only problem is they all want to continue working for the next thousand years to build up the 'stache rather than ER and spend their days playing  -  and I'm there already.

I've always dated guys 5-10 years older, because I haven't been that interesting to men my own age.  I'm the quiet bookish type that hikes and camps, and most guys here want someone more outgoing and polished. 

Maybe once I achieve FIRE and leave Southern CA, things will change.

I'm in The O.C. too (HB) so know what you're talking about. But my experience has been the opposite with dating younger men vs. men my age or older.  But then I'm older then you and had already retired when I was 42 so have probably had different dating experiences.    My experience since retiring has been that most guys my age or older are very into their image and accumulating wealth to support that image. And they are willing to work long hours and until late in life to have that lifestyle. Wanting the McMercedes, the McMansion on the beach, fine dining, expensive stuff, the expensive toys, entertainment, trips, and hobbies (golf at the private club), and all that material stuff and the eye-candy woman to go along with all that.  But I have found that many guys younger then me by 5 to 10 years are more into a simpler life. They want to hike and bike and camp and surf and play beach volleyball all day long. They could care less about status things and seem to be drawn to more down to earth women - those who are outdoorsy, into sports and recreational minded, etc...  So that's the reason I like younger guy.   Well...One of the reason's I like younger guys :-)!

However, I too am tired of the SoCal - especially the OC - materialism most people here seem to want so will be moving  somewhere else soon.  I had live in Big Bear Lake when I first quit work and it was much more down to earth but it's still a little too "SoCal" for me.  Personally not looking for a partner myself (love love love being single and unattached) but would be nice to be in a place with less materialistic people overall.

I'm pretty much ok with being single now, unless someone great came along.  So maybe by the time I start dating again, younger men will be more interested in my type! :) 

Good luck with the move!  Where are you thinking of moving to?

[Spartana]

I'm pretty much ok with being single now, unless someone great came along.  So maybe by the time I start dating again, younger men will be more interested in my type! :) 

Good luck with the move!  Where are you thinking of moving to?

You should try Meet Up groups or something like the Sierra club local chapters. I met the last guy I dated (10 years younger) at a climbing meet up group and the guy before that (also about 10 years younger) playing beach volleyball. Both loved more natural, down to earth low maintenance women (and I'm about as low maintenance as they come!).

I'm not moving anywhere actually. As soon as my house sells (and maybe before) and I get rid of my minimal belongings I am going travelling for a couple of years (maybe more). VERY budget travel (biking with my dog, road trip camping, grungy hostel-staying backpacker, etc...).  Will give me a chance to check out different areas and decide where I want to settle permanently someday. I've lived in a lot of places (was in the Coast Guard for years and moved constantly) and Maine is my favorite place so might end up there or the Pac NW.  Snow or rain? But who knows.... But the men in those places are definitely more mustachian then in OC. That's for sure!

[sunnyca]

I'm not moving anywhere actually. As soon as my house sells (and maybe before) and I get rid of my minimal belongings I am going travelling for a couple of years (maybe more). VERY budget travel (biking with my dog, road trip camping, grungy hostel-staying backpacker, etc...).  Will give me a chance to check out different areas and decide where I want to settle permanently someday. I've lived in a lot of places (was in the Coast Guard for years and moved constantly) and Maine is my favorite place so might end up there or the Pac NW.  Snow or rain? But who knows.... But the men in those places are definitely more mustachian then in OC. That's for sure!

That sounds great!  I'm jealous :)

How attached are you to that CA sunshine?  Because guys here in Portland love your type.  I lived in L.A. for 15 years, so I know what you mean about the dating scene there.  You belong up here.  :)

Not addicted to the CA sunshine so much, but I am kind of attached to my job and its benefits.  I've been looking at local government jobs in other states, though (CO, MT, and OR) so I may end up in your neck of the woods! :)

Single and will probably stay that way- dating prospects here are terrible.

I hear you, sunnyca. I'm also an Orange County resident (Irvine).  That said, I haven't dated in another area in a while at this point.  It might be terrible everywhere! :)


Mike

As a male, I'm surprised that you're having a hard time dating!  The male:female ratio in CA is at least 2:1 :) 

Oops!  Just noticed my typo.  I meant the female:male ratio is 2:1 (or at least it seems like it).  I should stop typing on my phone.

[mjs111]

As a male, I'm surprised that you're having a hard time dating!  The male:female ratio in CA is at least 2:1 :) 

Not too hard to find dates, just hard to find the right person.  Surprisingly, adding the requirement that the right person be solvent narrows the pool quite a bit.

Mike

[sunnyca]

Surprisingly, adding the requirement that the right person be solvent narrows the pool quite a bit.

Mike

Hmm...  now that I think about it, you've got a point there.

[Freckles]

i think Mike and Sunny need to meet up.  :)

[Shor]

i think Mike and Sunny need to meet up.  :)

We already have an event set up just for that purpose! (not really!) XD
Orange County Meetup

[mjs111]

You guys....

Mike

[Freckles]

Sorry.  :D

Looks like you Orange County people are getting together soon.  That's awesome.  We've been meeting up in the Portland area, a few times since December, with more planned in the future.  It's been really fun getting to know like-minded people.  We've only done potlucks at each others  homes so far, but I think I will steal your hiking idea and suggest it to the group.  There are certainly plenty of lovely places for hiking around here!  So far, we've just been stuck on food.  ;)

[sunnyca]

Freckles: a potluck sounds fun too!

I'll admit that my hiking suggestion was at least partly due to the fact that I'm looking for more people to hike with. Most of the meetups involving hiking and other outdoorsy things aren't really dog friendly, and my dog friends don't like to hike. Go figure :(

I'm definately looking for to meeting like-minded people-they're hard to find in Orange County!

[Spartana]

Freckles: a potluck sounds fun too!

I'll admit that my hiking suggestion was at least partly due to the fact that I'm looking for more people to hike with. Most of the meetups involving hiking and other outdoorsy things aren't really dog friendly, and my dog friends don't like to hike. Go figure :(

I'm definately looking for to meeting like-minded people-they're hard to find in Orange County!

Have you tried any of the OC hiking meet up groups? Tons of hikes, tons of people to meet! http://www.meetup.com/OC-HIKING-com/  http://www.meetup.com/HikingOC/  http://www.meetup.com/Adventurers-Unlimited/  http://www.meetup.com/Lazy-Ass-Hiking/  http://www.meetup.com/Orange-County-Sierra-Singles-20s-30s-40s/  http://www.meetup.com/desperatepawsofocdogclub/

[sunnyca]

Freckles: a potluck sounds fun too!

I'll admit that my hiking suggestion was at least partly due to the fact that I'm looking for more people to hike with. Most of the meetups involving hiking and other outdoorsy things aren't really dog friendly, and my dog friends don't like to hike. Go figure :(

I'm definately looking for to meeting like-minded people-they're hard to find in Orange County!

Have you tried any of the OC hiking meet up groups? Tons of hikes, tons of people to meet! http://www.meetup.com/OC-HIKING-com/  http://www.meetup.com/HikingOC/

I've looked into the OC hiking meetups (including Sierra Club) but most of the hikes are in state parks or places that don't allow dogs.  And I feel a bit guilty hiking and camping without the dog.  A little irrational, but true.

[libertarian4321]

Domestic partnership/shack up/whatever you call it for ~18 years (which is what, 4-5 times as long as the average marriage in the USA?).  "Dating" for 20 years.

We don't need a piece of paper or some priest mumbling vows to keep us together.

[grantmeaname]

Snide and wrong! Impressive.

[Erica/NWEdible]

Married. I think it's been 13 years now. All joint all the way. Two oxen yoked to the same cart. ;)

[dragoncar]

Snide and wrong! Impressive.

Who are you even talking to? 

[Russ]

Snide and wrong! Impressive.

Who are you even talking to?

~18 years (which is what, 4-5 times as long as the average marriage in the USA?)

[LowER]

OP: Cohabitating.  Been together a total of 10 years.

[SingleMomDebt]

Divorced, 3 kids, no support.  I save 33% of my income (not as mustaschian as most of you, but better than the stereotypical single mom).  He was horrible with money, so I was used to making do with what was left over and I continued those habits once I was in control of all the finances.

Nice! considering the circumstances, I'd say that is very mustachian to be able to save 33%.

BTW, lots of OC ppl here. I am 41, 2 teens. Live in OC. Not dating. Who has the time. Haha.

[sobezen]

Happily single and enjoying the San Francisco Bay Area.

Cheers! :)

[Kansas Beachbum]

Basically, for us it's teamwork. And we sink or swim together.  For those who have been through messy divorces that perhaps seems hopelessly naive, but both our parents were still together (until my mother died), so we know at least two ways it can be done.  :)  We're both good mates who can joke and laugh together, which seems like a good sign, anyway.

Mrs. KBB and I have both been through divorces (hers messy, mine fairly cordial) and we also "sink or swim together".  I very much do not see that sentiment as naïve.  We also are good mates who joke and laugh together...that is a very good sign.  Together 13 years now, going strong, basically FI at this point but waiting for our youngest to finish high school before ditching Corporate America.  Best of luck to you!

[magnuminator]

Married as of January, with mostly separate finances slowly growing more integrated.  Wouldn't be surprised to see us end up with mostly integrated finances given a bit of time, especially if we have a child (we don't have one now).  We were 37 (me) and 35 (her) when we married, so we had a lot of time to get used to managing our own finances.

Based on my experience so far, it's much easier to reduce costs and accumulate wealth as a couple for any given level of consumption.  The flip side is that the person with the most frugal preferences (if there is a difference) is generally going to face a certain amount of lifestyle inflation.  In my case, that means living in a more expensive city.  I don't dislike living here, but I could be happy in a smaller town if my wife could be too. 

And then there's the question of children....

[RunningWithScissors]

Married, just over a year. 

We're perfectly matched mustachians and working towards FI in five years or so.  Zero arguments about money in our household, and although we maintain separate finances except for one joint account, we continually check in with each other.  He's self-employed so we can take advantage of numerous business related write-offs, but I have a conventional job with great health and dental benefits (but no pension). 

I've always been super frugal, but as his first marriage broke down he was mired in spendiness and came out of the divorce with net zero.  In the four years since his divorce he's back up to just over half of my current retirement savings and will probably equal mine in another 18 months or so.  It's been interesting to see whether the slow and steady tortoise or the speedy but late starting hare will win the race.  Either way, we both win. 

[Runge]

Just started dating a super awesome mustachian who's into hiking and biking and other outdoorsy stuff like I am! She's a keeper.

[trailrated]

Siiiiiingle

[Jessa]

LTR with intentions of marriage in the not too distant future.

We currently have separate finances - I moved into his house, everything is already in his name, so I just pay him rent for my portion of the bills, and I buy most of the groceries. At some point we're going to get a joint checking account for the bills, but he's cautious about change and I don't feel the need to push it. Probably by the time we're married.

I still expect we'll keep non-household related bills separate, because we both value autonomy. I also like to track obsessively and he does everything via cash, which would make me insane for joint accounting.

[Mrs. Frugalwoods]

Married for six years and both Mustachian all the way. Our frugality has evolved and intensified over the years and we're on track to FIRE in 2017 at age 33. I feel fortunate that we communicate openly about our finances and are on the same page about how we save and spend. All accounts are joint; all household tasks are shared; all goals are aligned. The stuff we disagree over is mostly encapsulated in petty skirmishes that end pretty quickly. This is probably because my husband is the most patient, loving man on earth. I think I'm probably a handful sometimes :)

[begood]

Married 25 years.

We had great examples in both sets of parents, who saved and saved and saved and didn't spend money on stupid shit.

Everything's combined - we're two sides of an arch leaning together. :)

[Jon_Snow]

The current status of my relationship (with wife) = AWESOME

I mean, she encouraged me to quit my job while she happily continues to work until she has had enough herself. Quite frequently I find myself thinking that I have won the marriage lottery. What a woman. 

[10dollarsatatime]

Dating. 18 months but not super serious at this point.  Moving in together isn't an option because I'm relatively Mormon.  And that's just not a thing that happens.  But we're both into hiking/fishing/camping/biking/gardening/canning/not spending too much unnecessary money.  So that's nice.  I'm more into the saving thing and have a full time benefited job.  He's more into earning just the little bit he needs to get by as a freelancer and enjoying the rest of his time. 

[cavewoman]

Serious relationship of 2+ years.  Accelerated due to meeting while working at a place where we already lived together :)
It's hard to go to not living together if you've already done so in staff housing!
We are getting to more shared accounts (savings so far).  Right now he's in school (3 more weeks!) and I've been working and paying for our needs.  But he worked before that, and saved up enough money for our travel fund (to get to interviews and tests for his new jobs in 3 weeks) and to give himself an "allowance" of a little over 100/month for things like equipment for school (gloves, eye wear) and occasionally taking me out to eat when my kitchen creativity is tapped out or he feels like dining out but doesn't want to hear me talk budget.
When he starts working we will be living off his income (which will be about 3x what I make) while I either go back to school or figure out some side incomes I can make from the road.  That's option A.  Option B is a job in one location, and I'll probably still go to school (either traditional online or something like treehouse/coursera) and work only part-time.
We've already made one cross-country move together.  We talk marriage, but I think we want our own property first (bonus:  home-wedding!)

[Mrs. Pomodoro]

Married for 5+ years with a two-year-old. Hubby bought the old furniture I was selling on craigslist so I guess we had a frugal start. :) I was less frugal than he was and we made compromises over time. Now I'm saving more than I used to and he a little less. Because of our own situation, I think it really depends if being in a relationship helps wealth accumulation or not.

We share everything and keep track of all our accounts together.

[marty998]

Well I tried not to be single...I asked out this really nice girl at work on Friday. She said no. I suppose in hindsight the whole thing was pretty awkward.

Crushed :(   Whats a guy to do?

[VirginiaBob]

Well I tried not to be single...I asked out this really nice girl at work on Friday. She said no. I suppose in hindsight the whole thing was pretty awkward.

Crushed :(   Whats a guy to do?

Happily married, but have experience from my single days (married at 28 years old).  I'd avoid dating people from work - the awkwardness of that situation above is something you want to avoid. Date people that you either just met (by chance) or never met in person (online) - the anonymity reduces the stress heavily. 

[brooklynmoney]

Single.  It occurred to me recently that if I could find someone with similar spending habits and net worth we could retire immediately and go on a permanent honeymoon.

Also single

Permanent honeymoons sound like paradise. :)

I WANT THIS. I'm in the same position. I'm more than 1/2 way to FIRE. I just need to find someone who also wants to flee to somewhere in Central or South America to spend the rest of their life surfing and volunteering and who has a similar size stache.

[FireYourJob]

Single FI

Ladies???

[tofuchampion]

Married.  We were both spendthrifts when we first got together.  I've become quite frugal, and he has not.  We're complete opposites, and I sometimes wonder if that will result in the end of our relationship - it's that bad.

On the bright side, we're both in a better financial place with just one frugal person in the relationship, as opposed to zero.  But nowhere near where we could be, and FIRE won't happen when I'd like it to, if ever.