I hate to pile on, because I do in general like the The Frugalwoods. However, I was listening to Liz on Paula Pant’s podcast (Afford Anything) yesterday and similar to her evasiveness regarding their income, she would not say how much her parents contributed towards college. Paula flat out asked her what the breakdown was between scholarships, Liz’s contribution, and her parents’ contribution and Liz just kept talking in circles and saying she didn’t remember because it was “so long ago”. I don’t understand why she evidently thinks it’s shameful to say “I was very fortunate that my parents paid completely for my college”. It doesn’t take anything away from her current success, although it does change the narrative she’s tried to create for herself which I think is why people are so upset.
I'm not defending Liz, I'm just saying that if I was asked that question, I would totally hem and haw too. Warning: I feel a wall o'text coming. Feel free to skip to the last line.
Here's why: my parents did not pay for my college. Wouldn't even let me apply to my school of choice, even though the school asked me to, based on my SAT scores. When I graduated from HS, they gave me a check for $1000 [WOW!!!, right?] Then my mom wrote in the card that I could put it toward college, a house or my wedding. WTF? My eighteen year old self was outraged. They just let themselves off the hook for everything for the rest of my life for $1k? (Remember, that's my asshole teenage self speaking.)
I got a job straight out of HS. Worked FT for a semester to build my savings. I went to a local Junior College. Held as many as three jobs at once to pay for it. Got scholarships, worked hard. Bought my own used car. I did live at home until I was almost 20. My mother wanted me to pay rent. I flat-out refused, which was the source of many, many fights. I got a good career job offer just as I was finishing my AA, so I grabbed it and moved to another city. My rage at my mother was endless.
Not long after starting the career job, I was diagnosed with cancer. I was given a medical leave and moved back home during surgery, recovery and treatment. I lived under my parent's roof, but paid all of my own expenses, including all medical (after my own insurance paid, but 20% with no OOP cap was still a fuck-ton of money). Afterwards, my parents were nicer to me and didn't ask for rent, at least. My mom went so far as to explain what she wrote in the graduation card wasn't exactly what she meant.
Based on the cancer experience, I wanted to own a house, for the security it represented. Took me almost a decade, but I did it. I also didn't want to be a wage slave. I read YMOYL. I wanted FIRE before the term existed. I wanted to savor the best life has to offer as well, 'cause there are no guarantees, right? I spent my life doing just that. And saving, of course.
As I matured, I let go of the resentment. I encouraged my parents to help my younger Sibs with their educations. They did. They also helped pay for weddings, etc, etc. My Dad's pension and benefits were good, as was my Mom's later in life career rekindling.
I also developed a better appreciation for what I had been given by my parents in terms of basic needs and a relatively stable upbringing. (Did I mention I am the oldest of six?) Eventually, I figured out that at the time I graduated HS, my Dad was about to enter forced retirement, to avoid the now-infamous Air Traffic Controller's strike. My mom was scared shitless about how they were going to survive...
I didn't marry until I was 54. We eloped. My parents loved DH, 'cause he fixed stuff for them when we'd visit;-) My mom died about two years later. It wasn't until much later still that it dawned on me they hadn't given us any kind of wedding gift. Huh. Funny, I didn't even notice. I guess the card proved to be prophetic after all. And that $1k? I cashed the check, but I never spent it. I guess you could say it became the seed money for the rest of my life.
I realize this it turning into quite the hijack. I'll end by saying that I'm grateful for everything I've been given in my life. My parents were good people, just trying to do their best. And their best was pretty damn good.
No fucking way would I have answered that question.