What's the least socially acceptable thing you've done to cut expenses?

[MrTurtle]

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles.

Could you imagine how much it would hold back your career if being a cashier at Sephora isn't an option?

[mountain mustache]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

I can't count the number of times I was told the same thing. To this date I have never owned makeup, aside from like...a tinted lip gloss for those "really special occasions" haha...I've had at least 5 customer facing jobs, and no one has ever mentioned the fact that I don't wear makeup, unless it was in the context of "it's really refreshing to see a woman who isn't caked in makeup every day". And this is not to say anything negative about women who like to wear makeup...you do you...but I never understood spending that amount of money on something that I will literally wash off every night. Also I am just really a "what you see is what you get" kind of person...no need to cover it up.  Also, it seems....messy. I don't know. I am a total mess, there is no way I could keep make up looking good all day. So much effort and maintenance. Also I cut my hair with kitchen scissors and no one ever seems to notice!

[Zikoris]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

I can't count the number of times I was told the same thing. To this date I have never owned makeup, aside from like...a tinted lip gloss for those "really special occasions" haha...I've had at least 5 customer facing jobs, and no one has ever mentioned the fact that I don't wear makeup, unless it was in the context of "it's really refreshing to see a woman who isn't caked in makeup every day". And this is not to say anything negative about women who like to wear makeup...you do you...but I never understood spending that amount of money on something that I will literally wash off every night. Also I am just really a "what you see is what you get" kind of person...no need to cover it up.  Also, it seems....messy. I don't know. I am a total mess, there is no way I could keep make up looking good all day. So much effort and maintenance. Also I cut my hair with kitchen scissors and no one ever seems to notice!

Yeah, the mess is a huge factor as well. I touch my face a lot, and the amount of mental effort I'd have to put into not fucking up makeup after it was on would mean I really couldn't do much of anything, let alone actually do my job. I've managed to wear it briefly a few times when I was a teenager, for like a couple of hours, but all day? Not a chance.

[MonkeyJenga]

Makeup requires waking up early, and I'm not about that life.

[mm1970]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

I think that's how I found my dream job in a semiconductor fab.

I talked to a friend from the Navy when he was in grad school and doing an internship at Intel. I mentioned not wearing makeup in the fab.  He said "THAT'S IT!  I sit in these daily meetings and there are a few women in there that look 'different' and I couldn't figure out why."

Another funny. Apparently there's a funny meme out there with a picture of The Little Mermaid with "eyebrows in the 90s" (pencil thin) and a picture of Moana with "eyebrows in 2020" (bushy).  There were all these comments on it about how they went pencil thin and they don't grow back, etc.

Well, 20 years ago there was this lady at the gym who told me "if you did your brows and wore some makeup you'd be really pretty".  Now, my brows are natural.  Blond/light brown.  Not bushy, just normal.  But this was the late 90s of pencil thin brows.  I shrugged it off.

What do I see on my FB feed right below this meme?  Rodan and Fields have come out with some sort of eyebrow enhancer to add volume, ha!  For all those ladies who have been plucking for 20 + years I guess.

[msministache]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

Make up, hair stuff, getting nails done, brows done, eyelashes extensions, etc. Where I live, every girl thinks it is a necessity and if you dont do it all you dont "take care of yourself" apparently. 

[msministache]

Also, I do pick up coins sometimes and also get teased for that. Somehow its wrong to pick up free money

[Metalcat]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

Make up, hair stuff, getting nails done, brows done, eyelashes extensions, etc. Where I live, every girl thinks it is a necessity and if you dont do it all you dont "take care of yourself" apparently.

I used to be that girl. It's a lot of energy, and no one actually cares. I was never ever treated better as a result of all of that time, money and effort put into my appearance. I would say professionally, it actually hurt me more than anything.

[Staunch Aim]

Sundays are shower days and I don't use soap (except for washing hands), shampoo or deodorant.  Just a good rinse, lots of scrubbing and some oil to cleanse the face.  I take a quick sink bath with a wet cloth all other days.  This isn't solely motivated by cutting expenses, it also saves time/water and makes me (literally) happier in my own skin.  I don't share this routine IRL. 

If you asked my coworkers, they would certainly mention my lack of a car (bike and transit), and that I live in one of the least expensive zips in the Denver Metro area, in my small house, with two roommates.

My friends would point out that I no longer drink alcohol or caffeine, that I rarely go out to eat, and that at almost 40 years old I sleep in a twin bed because nothing larger will fit in my bedroom.

[bloodaxe]

Sundays are shower days and I don't use soap (except for washing hands), shampoo or deodorant.  Just a good rinse, lots of scrubbing and some oil to cleanse the face.  I take a quick sink bath with a wet cloth all other days.  This isn't solely motivated by cutting expenses, it also saves time/water and makes me (literally) happier in my own skin.  I don't share this routine IRL. 

If you asked my coworkers, they would certainly mention my lack of a car (bike and transit), and that I live in one of the least expensive zips in the Denver Metro area, in my small house, with two roommates.

My friends would point out that I no longer drink alcohol or caffeine, that I rarely go out to eat, and that at almost 40 years old I sleep in a twin bed because nothing larger will fit in my bedroom.

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

[never give up]

I've started to take a bath in the water butt/rainwater tank out in my front garden.

No I'm just joking there, but that would be pretty socially unacceptable to my neighbours right! I guess it depends on what you mean by socially acceptable. I do things that are not common choices but that would be fairly standard practice on here e.g. walk to work, keep cars a long time, don't keep purchasing/upgrading stuff etc, but despite me going against the grain here I don't think they would be deemed as socially unacceptable.

I'm not sure I can think of anything Mustachian that I do that could cause offence or be deemed socially unacceptable.

[Davnasty]

Dumpster diving for food.

I understand why it grosses people out because that was my first reaction when someone told me they were doing it. After giving it a go however I realized you can find plenty of stuff in good condition still in it's package. Personally I stick to fruits and vegetables as I can sort and wash everything but some people take shelf stable or even refrigerated products if they're still cold.

[G-String]

Sundays are shower days and I don't use soap (except for washing hands), shampoo or deodorant.  Just a good rinse, lots of scrubbing and some oil to cleanse the face.  I take a quick sink bath with a wet cloth all other days.  This isn't solely motivated by cutting expenses, it also saves time/water and makes me (literally) happier in my own skin.  I don't share this routine IRL. 

If you asked my coworkers, they would certainly mention my lack of a car (bike and transit), and that I live in one of the least expensive zips in the Denver Metro area, in my small house, with two roommates.

My friends would point out that I no longer drink alcohol or caffeine, that I rarely go out to eat, and that at almost 40 years old I sleep in a twin bed because nothing larger will fit in my bedroom.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

[use2betrix]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

I think the snip is reversible but getting your tubes tied isn't so generally women have a harder time getting it doctor approved if younger and haven't had kids yet. I'm child-free to but not because of money (saved me a ton though!) or disliking kids. Just zero desire to have or raise them. Lots of pups and kitty's though.

I've done a couple of weird things to earn extra money that would be frowned on. Otherwise much of my lifestyle was pretty non-conformist for "back in ye olde olden tymes" that I had to deal with a lot of disdain. Although so.e of it cut expenses.

That’s not true. Getting tubes tied is certainly reversible.

My mother-in-law had her tubes tied about 24 years ago after having 4 kids. Then she got remarried around 6 years ago. He had a vasectomy about 18 years prior.

They both went down to Mexico, had reversals done, and she was pregnant within a few months. She had a daughter (my sister in law) who is now six, then had another son (my brother in law) who is now three. My wife is 26.

For both vasectomy’s and having tubes tied, generally the longer you wait for a reversal, the less chance of having success. Somehow they were both successful very quickly!

[MissPeach]

Two of mine is that I paid cash for my car. Apparently my coworkers thought I was paid too much when I said I didn't believe in debt so I didn't take out a loan. I told them I just do it the old fashioned way and save up the money first.

The second one is I cloth diapered kiddo. I got a lot of weird reactions to that one. But in the end kiddo was fully potty trained young (which is more common with cloth than disposable) and I only spent $200 on diapers the entire baby/toddler years.

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

My oldest daughter had her tubes tied nine years ago when she was 20. Same reason, had just never liked kids and couldn't see that changing. She had to push her GP for a referral and the second gynaecologist she saw agreed only if she could get another colleague to support the decision.

I thought reversible contraception would be a better decision (free in the UK, and she had been happy with the implant for several years) but she had my full support and she's never shown any sign of regret. Bottom line, if someone doesn't want children then making sure they don't have children is the most responsible thing they can do.

Kiddo has been saying they refuse to have kids and begged me not to have anymore. Even as a teen kiddo tells me the only kids they like are the goat kind. lol I expect similar things in my future.

[Cassie]

40 years ago when our friends were getting vasectomies after having 2 kids the doctors didn’t want to do it. We go and when he asked how many kids you had and we said 3 he scheduled it quickly. That must have been enough in his mind:)). Some doctors cut the tubes short and then cauterize so they cannot grow back together if they come untied. I haven’t heard of many reversals being successful. 

[E.T.]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

Oh man, I remember in college my mom had a professional over to forcibly teach me how to apply makeup because they were convinced that I could never succeed in an interview without it. I've always hated wearing makeup and it's never once impacted my career. I don't think pink tax is about make-up though, it's about the same item / brand costing more for the "female" version and the taxes on  menstrual products vs taxes on other essential items like groceries and prescriptions in the U.S.

My socially unacceptable thing would probably be using one bar for all purpose body wash / shampoo / conditioner in the shower and using things til they're completely busted & not repairable (shoes, clothes, car, phone, etc). The other one I got a surprising amount of flak for was traveling with just a backpack, no matter the trip length. I can fly Spirit for cheap and never pay carry-on fees, it's great. Apparently people are appalled at the idea of a decently dressed professional female traveling light. I did a demo for some of my coworkers who kept harassing me over it and their reactions were pretty funny. "But how could you live without more stuff??????"

[NumberJohnny5]

I don't think pink tax is about make-up though, it's about the same item / brand costing more for the "female" version and the taxes on  menstrual products vs taxes on other essential items like groceries and prescriptions in the U.S.

I hate when people talk about the "pink tax". I'm not talking about taxes on feminine hygiene products (that's a legitimate issue imo), I'm talking about the fact that people get in such an uproar because items marketed toward women cost more than the same/similar items marketed toward men.

If the blue razor is cheaper and does just as good, then don't pay more for the freakin' pink one and then go on a rant about how awful the system is. Just buy the blue one! And while we're talking about razors, I just buy whatever is the best deal. I've used pink razors and my wife has used blue razors. If the store is clearing out perfectly good razors because we now have the technology to add a sixth blade (are we up to six now? or is it eight?), I'll buy all they have (or if we've never used that style, buy one to try then go buy all that's left).

[Staunch Aim]

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

Garret B here to illustrate why I don't share IRL. Thanks Garret.

[okisok]

Probably getting furniture from [next to] the dumpster. People toss things for the most minute of flaws. Just this weekend my partner snagged and cleaned out a $200 vacuum cleaner that works just fine.

That's how I got my current vacuum cleaner. It's a Dyson and I've had it almost decade. It still works well, although the canister has to be held in a certain way when removed due to plastic parts breaking. Not bad for something taken out of the trash.

I found a Dyson in the trash, too! And it still worked perfectly. Sold it for $75. Also lots of furniture, including my current coffee table.

I didn't have a TV for a while after my yard sale one stopped working. Didn't bother me at all, but anyone who came to my place commented on it. Then again after a breakup when he took the tv. If my current one breaks, I probably won't replace it.

Using family cloth is probably the least acceptable thing I do. It saves so much money from literally being flushed down the toilet! I've been using handkerchiefs instead of paper tissues, too, but that's more socially acceptable.

[NorthernMonkey]

I don't think pink tax is about make-up though, it's about the same item / brand costing more for the "female" version and the taxes on  menstrual products vs taxes on other essential items like groceries and prescriptions in the U.S.

I hate when people talk about the "pink tax". I'm not talking about taxes on feminine hygiene products (that's a legitimate issue imo), I'm talking about the fact that people get in such an uproar because items marketed toward women cost more than the same/similar items marketed toward men.

I (male) use pink razors because pink ones are 25% cheaper than blue and grey ones in England

[tipster350]

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

Garret B here to illustrate why I don't share IRL. Thanks Garret.

Some might be tempted to call you Stench Aim?

[bloodaxe]

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

Garret B here to illustrate why I don't share IRL. Thanks Garret.

Yea lack of humidity makes a difference. People in Florida would notice very quickly if you weren't showering daily 😉

[Loretta]

I only wear deodorant when I go to work.  Other days, nothing.

During the period when I took the bus to work in the DC suburbs, you'd have thought I was a leper.  Like, OMGosh, the bus, the horror!!!  :)  I saved a ton being car free for those few months.

[Villanelle]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

My oldest daughter had her tubes tied nine years ago when she was 20. Same reason, had just never liked kids and couldn't see that changing. She had to push her GP for a referral and the second gynaecologist she saw agreed only if she could get another colleague to support the decision.

I thought reversible contraception would be a better decision (free in the UK, and she had been happy with the implant for several years) but she had my full support and she's never shown any sign of regret. Bottom line, if someone doesn't want children then making sure they don't have children is the most responsible thing they can do.

What's fascinating to me is that a 16 year old can have her nose broken and the bone shaved down, and an 18 year old can have fat sucked out of various body parts.  These are essentially irreversible changes to the body as well.  But when it comes to reproductive choices, suddenly we have to protect a nearly all costs against someone doing something they might later regret. 

Almost as though there is some other factor at play...

[TomTX]

Probably getting furniture from [next to] the dumpster. People toss things for the most minute of flaws. Just this weekend my partner snagged and cleaned out a $200 vacuum cleaner that works just fine.

Good for you! My kid's schoolwork desk is a solid wood table I dumpster picked nearly 30 years ago.

[Megs193]

My husband drives an 11 year old car which isn’t that impressive on these boards but in our neighbourhood it stands out.  Most people we are close to ask about it but when I explain to them that I would rather spend the money other people spend on cars seeing the world they drop it.

I also think most beauty related things are a waste of time. I get one pedicure a year at the beginning of the summer and never get manicures. I also get my eyebrows waxed once a year and pluck in between. I do get some highlights added to my hair 3 times a year when I get it cut but the pandemic has me questioning if that is even worth it since I have had to deal with the way they look growing out.

[Kris]

Hm. Good question.

I mean, I drive a 12-year-old car, but it’s an Audi convertible in good shape, so it still looks pretty.

I think maybe it’s that we live in a 1200 square foot condo, when most people of our age/income/status/many of our friends live in places that are much, much nicer.

But hell, our mortgage is paid off and we are FI. And thankfully, our friends are too polite to ask stuff about our life choices. Not that we would feel insulted even if they were judging us out loud.

[rmorelan]

Everyone is right.  An individual does NOT need the consent of their spouse for a vasectomy or tubal ligation. At the same time, as these are entirely elective procedures, a doctor can put whatever stipulations they want before agreeing to proceed.  Similar to requiring patients to lose a certain amount of weight and go to counseling/diet classes prior to a gastric bypass surgery.

well sure but the reason cannot be arbitrary, and should be applied universally to anyone (taking into consideration their overall health situation).

In the case you mention all potential patients would be asked to reach a target weight, and that weight would be supported with actual evidence that doing so creates a reasonable outcome for the procedure.

Where you get into trouble is when you start applying more personal criteria to your choices that have no impact on the procedural outcome. In this case age for instance - there is no medical reason that a typical 25 year old etc. would have an issue with the tubal ligation.

[Zikoris]

What's fascinating to me is that a 16 year old can have her nose broken and the bone shaved down, and an 18 year old can have fat sucked out of various body parts.  These are essentially irreversible changes to the body as well.  But when it comes to reproductive choices, suddenly we have to protect a nearly all costs against someone doing something they might later regret. 

Almost as though there is some other factor at play...

To be honest, my extremely cynical self did find one common denominator among the people who said no - they were all older people who'd apparently flip-flopped their way through life never actually knowing firmly what they wanted or didn't want, and thus could not comprehend the idea that another person might actually know what they wanted in life. I know this because they explained their reasoning. I think it's really hard to bridge the divide for people like that, because they really have a hard time comprehending the idea of being absolutely 100% certain about something.

I actually find their perspective pretty interesting from an intellectual standpoint (though maddening from a practical one), because it's equally difficult for me to imagine going through life being wishy washy and not knowing what you want, since I've always been so certain about everything, even beyond just kids. Though at least I can accept their existence, unlike them.

[Cassie]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

[chaskavitch]

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

Garret B here to illustrate why I don't share IRL. Thanks Garret.

Yea lack of humidity makes a difference. People in Florida would notice very quickly if you weren't showering daily 😉

They did mention a quick sink bath on the off days.  Scrub down the sweaty parts with a soapy cloth, rinse off, and you're good.  I try to only shower every 5 or 6 days, and usually the only reason I shower more often is if my hair gets super sweaty under a hat and I have to go to work. 

Disclaimer - I also live in Colorado :)  I can see where being humid and sticky all the time might make showers feel even more refreshing and desirable.

[iris lily]

Selling tradelines is probably not socially acceptable in the view of many people.  But that is more of a side hustle and not a way to cut expenses.

I mostly admire people who sell tradelines because I think it’s edgy and a little risky, But still fairly main stream. I only view it as a little risky because I don’t quite understand it and there’s no way I want to take on that kind of administrative financial tracking myself. But I think it’s a cool concept.

[Dicey]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

It's living in a vacant commercial building that needs to be protected from squat until it finds its purpose (be demolished and rebuilt into something else). People lived in office space / bankrupt care home / prison / etc.

Example here in an old clinic:
https://www.global-guardians.co.uk/guardian/property/1158/the-margaret-mcmillan-field-study-centre-wrotham-kent-tn15-7jn

So cool! I would totally do that. And I'd be proud of my creative solution. Good for you!

[Sibley]

Stopped buying deodorant :)

As long as I can't smell you unreasonably, I don't care.

[OtherJen]

You only shower once a week? I could see it working in Denver, since the weather is usually cool/cold.

Regarding the thread topic: Ive heard of people who go to hotels in the morning to steal some continental breakfast.

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

You only shower once a week?  That's nasty! 

Garret B here to illustrate why I don't share IRL. Thanks Garret.

Yea lack of humidity makes a difference. People in Florida would notice very quickly if you weren't showering daily 😉

They did mention a quick sink bath on the off days.  Scrub down the sweaty parts with a soapy cloth, rinse off, and you're good.  I try to only shower every 5 or 6 days, and usually the only reason I shower more often is if my hair gets super sweaty under a hat and I have to go to work. 

Disclaimer - I also live in Colorado :)  I can see where being humid and sticky all the time might make showers feel even more refreshing and desirable.

Yeah, living in Florida or in Michigan during summer is completely different. I can get away with a shower every other day and quick sink wash in between (and deodorant is necessary), but I can’t even stand my unwashed hair after 48 hours, let alone anything else. The high humidity seems to increase sebum production, and that plus sweat is uncomfortable.

[slappy]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

My car is ten years old and I don't care about travel. People are allowed to drive old cars. You are nicer than me. If people made comments about my car, I'd tell them to F right off.

[Dicey]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

My car is ten years old and I don't care about travel. People are allowed to drive old cars. You are nicer than me. If people made comments about my car, I'd tell them to F right off.

We are a family of three adults. Our vehicles are 2002, 2004 and the "new" one is a 2014. They are parrked in the driveway of our paid-for house. I totally agree with slappy.

[Just Joe]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.

Thank goodness for all types of women - but the no low maintenance outdoorsy types are A+. Difficult to be fancy and do the Mike Rowe type jobs at the same time.

[PoutineLover]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

My car is ten years old and I don't care about travel. People are allowed to drive old cars. You are nicer than me. If people made comments about my car, I'd tell them to F right off.

We are a family of three adults. Our vehicles are 2002, 2004 and the "new" one is a 2014. They are parrked in the driveway of our paid-for house. I totally agree with slappy.

My car is a 2007 and it still runs great. I won't replace it until I absolutely have to, and when I do it won't be with a brand new car.

[Just Joe]

I've found it's not really the cool/cold - it's been consistently in the 90's here the last few weeks - but the lack of humidity that makes it possible.  I was inspired by this article, tried it out, and have been on board since.  https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/08/shower-once-a-week-polluting-environment  People close enough to realize my routine (GFs and roommates) have always been pretty shocked that someone could go a week without it being noticeable.

Its different for different people. My wife can get away with infrequent showers despite the heat and humidity here. I can't though. If I did without a quick daily shower even our family dog would start complaining. ;)

[LibrarianFuzz]

Basically just doing small things that most of my middle class friends think are beneath them.

Like...

Stopping to pick up a penny.

Picking up bottles and cans on my morning walk for the 5 cent recycling fee.

Doing a housesitting gig in exchange for free meals, not cold, hard cash.

Eating at Del Taco every Tuesday night because 3 tacos are $1.61.

Bringing my own (cheap) iced coffee in glass jars to work, instead of going to Starbucks with the rest of the gang.

[slappy]

FWIW, I feel like the no shower/infrequent shower thing has been beat to death in these forums.

[bigblock440]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

My car is ten years old and I don't care about travel. People are allowed to drive old cars. You are nicer than me. If people made comments about my car, I'd tell them to F right off.

Eh, my car's an inanimate object, it doesn't need me to white knight for it.  I don't think anyone's actually said anything derogatory to it though, mostly just shock that it's still around.  Or I just don't interpret their comments as derogatory if they're intended to be, either way, same result.

[slappy]

Our cars are 10 and 12 years old. One doesn’t have a remote.  People have commented and I say we prefer to travel. They have low miles so will have them for a long time.

My car is ten years old and I don't care about travel. People are allowed to drive old cars. You are nicer than me. If people made comments about my car, I'd tell them to F right off.

Eh, my car's an inanimate object, it doesn't need me to white knight for it.  I don't think anyone's actually said anything derogatory to it though, mostly just shock that it's still around.  Or I just don't interpret their comments as derogatory if they're intended to be, either way, same result.

In my experience, the comment is not really about the car. It's basically an insinuation that you are too cheap to get a new car, and that's the part that is annoying. It's the same old false dichotomy of having to drive an old/"crappy" car in order to save money.  Because there is nothing between "crappy beater car" and brand new SUV. /s   It drives me crazy.

[AnnaGrowsAMustache]

It's probably where I live - teeny, tiny little run-down flat that I moved into decades ago when I was a student. The rent hasn't gone up since. I constantly get comments about my 'cave' or 'hovel' and my 'slum landlords'. This from friends who are working jobs they hate, getting paid six figures for it, and who have NOTHING left over after they pay their bills.

[Villanelle]

These types of threads always have me scratching my hear.  Most of my friends are mainstream, in the sense that they maybe save 10% or in some cases they probably save -5%. 

No one ever said anything to be about my 20 year old car. (Fairly recently upgraded to a 4 yo car that we will likely own until it's about that age, hopefully).  No one cares that we only own one car.  (I've gotten questions about whether it's hard, whether I feel trapped, etc., but they have always seems just curious or maybe slightly confused, not judgemental or condescending.)   No one ever said anything about our fairly modest townhouse we lived in, or the fact that I wear make up maybe 1/mo, or anything else.  So many people have these stories about people commenting, and I just don't get it because nothing like that has ever happened to me and that's certainly not because I hang out with like-minded people.  Yes no one has ever insulted any of these things.  I wonder why that is? 

[Bloop Bloop]

These types of threads always have me scratching my hear.  Most of my friends are mainstream, in the sense that they maybe save 10% or in some cases they probably save -5%. 

No one ever said anything to be about my 20 year old car. (Fairly recently upgraded to a 4 yo car that we will likely own until it's about that age, hopefully).  No one cares that we only own one car.  (I've gotten questions about whether it's hard, whether I feel trapped, etc., but they have always seems just curious or maybe slightly confused, not judgemental or condescending.)   No one ever said anything about our fairly modest townhouse we lived in, or the fact that I wear make up maybe 1/mo, or anything else.  So many people have these stories about people commenting, and I just don't get it because nothing like that has ever happened to me and that's certainly not because I hang out with like-minded people.  Yes no one has ever insulted any of these things.  I wonder why that is?

I agree with you. Do I just have less judgmental friends/acquaintances, or what?

My own experience has been that, unless you make it a point to harp on about these things, no one cares. About either frugality or lavishness. Both are just "meh" events.

Sometimes I drive a shitbox (my parents' old car), sometimes I drive a fancy car. Besides car enthusiasts no one's ever commented on my car. Sometimes I dress nicely in a suit and tie. Most of the time I go to work in track pants and a sweatshirt, and sometimes I wear the same clothes 3 or 4 days in a row cause I have a lot of pairs of track pants and grey jumpers. No one's ever commented one way or another.

I also feel a bit surprised that there's apparently so much social judgment on either extreme. I suspect for the most part if you're not drawing attention to yourself you can do whatever you like (short of going naked, or wearing royal robes, or driving a Ferrari) and not be judged.

Then again maybe it's just middle class privilege talking. The comfortable middle class like us do get to be invisible and go without judgment, more so than, say, a poor person with bad teeth and bad grammar.

[Zikoris]

These types of threads always have me scratching my hear.  Most of my friends are mainstream, in the sense that they maybe save 10% or in some cases they probably save -5%. 

No one ever said anything to be about my 20 year old car. (Fairly recently upgraded to a 4 yo car that we will likely own until it's about that age, hopefully).  No one cares that we only own one car.  (I've gotten questions about whether it's hard, whether I feel trapped, etc., but they have always seems just curious or maybe slightly confused, not judgemental or condescending.)   No one ever said anything about our fairly modest townhouse we lived in, or the fact that I wear make up maybe 1/mo, or anything else.  So many people have these stories about people commenting, and I just don't get it because nothing like that has ever happened to me and that's certainly not because I hang out with like-minded people.  Yes no one has ever insulted any of these things.  I wonder why that is?

In our case, the judgment comes more from relatives or people we see semi-regularly but don't have "real" relationships with (coworkers, etc). We definitely don't make it a habit to befriend people like that.

Generally speaking:
If we're getting criticized for not having a car, home, or status stuff, it's coming from his parents.
If it's appearance related, probably my mom's side.
If it's restaurant/coffee/alcohol related, probably coworkers.

It's actually kind of funny how it falls neatly into categories like that.

[FIRE Artist]

Choosing to not get married and have kids.