What's the least socially acceptable thing you've done to cut expenses?

[helloyou]

I've never felt good enough for my job and always had this fear to be jobless and not able to keep doing it. And the atmosphere wasn't really great at work either.

So while I had a good job with good pay, I've realised that 2 things were incredibly costly:
- Cost of having your own flat easily take a large % your pay at £1500/month in London
- Cost of transport is also very high at £120/month

So I lived in a guardianship house with load of people costing me £350/month (I still had my own room but it was busy) and cycled to work. My expenses were very low indeed after doing that.

However I could never really tell my colleagues where I was living because I knew they would be shocked. I try to ignore the subject when I can or just say I'm far away. Sometime when they insist I just say I'm in a flatshare but never told them how many people were living there lol


Now that I have more security in term of finance I don't think I'll do it again. But it really kept cost down!

[erutio]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

[Sibley]

Well, first, google impostor syndrome.

It sounds like you live in something like a group house/boarding house type thing? FYI - being so evasive about the topic of where you live is going to be far worse in the long run than just having an answer for the question and giving it matter of factly.

[YttriumNitrate]

Until I was 30, I lived in an apartment complex that catered to college students and rented out apartments by the room. It was actually kind of fun as I got along with my roommates rather well. The rent was ridiculous at $290 a month with my share of the utilities running $20 a month.

[helloyou]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

It's living in a vacant commercial building that needs to be protected from squat until it finds its purpose (be demolished and rebuilt into something else). People lived in office space / bankrupt care home / prison / etc.

Example here in an old clinic:
https://www.global-guardians.co.uk/guardian/property/1158/the-margaret-mcmillan-field-study-centre-wrotham-kent-tn15-7jn

[Sibley]

Interesting. I've never heard of that. Pretty cool.

Still, come up with a reasonable sounding answer to "where do you live" and give it. Stop with the weirdness. Example: I live in a shared flat kinda near the shopping center.  Sounds very normal, answers the question, doesn't get into the unusual nature of your living accommodations.

[Steeze]

At one point I was getting free pizzas from little cesars at 11pm when they threw out the extras each night. Same with the bagel shop - trash bags of perfectly fine bagels. Hit the food pantry once a week. Stole pre-made 2’ long subs from the grocery pretty regularly, and would go to the church for a free meal once a week. Also got on food stamps for a while.

Was living in my car / camping during that time period for several months. Couch surfing / trading work for housing other times.

Just your typical broke college student - too proud to ask for help from my family, who is also broke.

[wenchsenior]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

It's living in a vacant commercial building that needs to be protected from squat until it finds its purpose (be demolished and rebuilt into something else). People lived in office space / bankrupt care home / prison / etc.

Example here in an old clinic:
https://www.global-guardians.co.uk/guardian/property/1158/the-margaret-mcmillan-field-study-centre-wrotham-kent-tn15-7jn

That's so cool!

[Zikoris]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Another notable one would be living in a small studio apartment with my partner and cat. Apparently the very idea is an affront to most normal people's sensibility. Like, it's actually not hard at all if you like each other and aren't hoarders. And I spend a hell of a lot less time doing housework than most people, in addition to the financial savings.

People used to really care that neither of us has a drivers license and/or car. That's kind of died down now that we're in our 30s, and shockingly haven't had any of those supposed emergencies that require cars or a drivers license. Everyone used to swear that was a thing, though it always seemed like bullshit to me.

Those are three that come to mind off the top of my head. There are probably so many more. I'm not very socially acceptable.

[MonkeyJenga]

Depends on which social network, but some people are outraged that I'm on Medicaid in an expansion state, and some people are outraged that I used to get free food from a program without income verification. (I also volunteered at similar orgs, passed on extras when my neighbors couldn't make it, and always saw extras left behind, but for some people that's not good enough.)

Mostly internet outrage, though. I don't exactly advertise my health insurance situation with casual acquaintances. I do tell many people about the food program, so I guess Medicaid is the less acceptable one.

Nobody has cared that I've lived with roommates or took public transit. Normal where I lived.

[DadJokes]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

[Zikoris]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

[Just Joe]

Driving ancient cars daily - either high mileage or high years. People hear that I needed a repair and they react with recommendations that I replace the whole car with something newer that comes with a payment.

Seriously folks - some thing just wore out. why would I replace a whole car b/c the starter wore out? A starter is $50 and 30 minutes to replace in the driveway.

My cost to maintain older cars has been tiny spread over a year's time. Especially if the car was made for a while and there were hundreds of thousands of them built. That means the junkyards likely have a few too.
It also helps that we have an easy ten minute drive to town. These cars aren't raking up alot of miles. I do keep them maintained so they are not gross polluters even though we don't have pollution inspections here.

Also bicycles and scooters. Some folks just shake their head here that anyone would use a scooter or bicycle as a commuter vehicle. What - don't you have any money? Did you get a DUI? Why don't you sign up for a six year loan and buy something really shiny and expensive?

Well, the bicycle helps me get exercise plus I like to ride a bike. A scooter is dead cheap to buy and operate. Pick the right ones and there are tens of millions of them around the world and an endless supply of spare parts and YT video tutorials on how to repair anything on it. Its as close to a forever tool as you'll find. Just keep the rust away.

[Arbitrage]

E-biking everywhere for all of my errands and commuting.  I think it's great, and far superior to driving; I'd do it even if it didn't save money.  I miss it terribly right now.

Some of the other measures I probably would've taken through the years were nixed by the wife.

[Zikoris]

Another one that some people don't like is that we avoid restaurants mostly and alcohol/coffee entirely. Again, not for financial reasons, though it saves us a fortune.

"But you have to treat yourself!"
"Doing something I dislike isn't a treat!"

"Stop depriving yourself of coffee/alcohol, that's horrible!"
"I would puke my guts out on the spot from even a sip of that foul drink!"

[erutio]

Selling tradelines is probably not socially acceptable in the view of many people.  But that is more of a side hustle and not a way to cut expenses.

[Tasse]

Probably getting furniture from [next to] the dumpster. People toss things for the most minute of flaws. Just this weekend my partner snagged and cleaned out a $200 vacuum cleaner that works just fine.

[YttriumNitrate]

Probably getting furniture from [next to] the dumpster. People toss things for the most minute of flaws. Just this weekend my partner snagged and cleaned out a $200 vacuum cleaner that works just fine.

That's how I got my current vacuum cleaner. It's a Dyson and I've had it almost decade. It still works well, although the canister has to be held in a certain way when removed due to plastic parts breaking. Not bad for something taken out of the trash.

[Fish Sweet]

Stopped shaving almost a decade ago.  It was a pain in the ass, razors cost a ton and I hated tossing them afterward, and I just didn't really see the point-- most dudes don't shave their legs, why are women expected to?  Did pick up an epilator for the odd fancy event and I use it maybe three times a year to great effect.

It's fucking great!  I've probably saved hundreds in disposable razor costs, and really no one cares.  The only instance I can think of anyone commenting is some random asshole telling me it was 'unhygienic' for women not to shave their armpits.  Only for women, mind you. :')

[helloyou]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Another notable one would be living in a small studio apartment with my partner and cat. Apparently the very idea is an affront to most normal people's sensibility. Like, it's actually not hard at all if you like each other and aren't hoarders. And I spend a hell of a lot less time doing housework than most people, in addition to the financial savings.

People used to really care that neither of us has a drivers license and/or car. That's kind of died down now that we're in our 30s, and shockingly haven't had any of those supposed emergencies that require cars or a drivers license. Everyone used to swear that was a thing, though it always seemed like bullshit to me.

Those are three that come to mind off the top of my head. There are probably so many more. I'm not very socially acceptable.

Couple in a small studio in super common in london. Even couple in ensuite. The pb is finding landlord accepting pets

[ketchup]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

[Zikoris]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

[MrTurtle]

Apparently, hanging my clothes to dry (as opposed to using a dryer) is not socially acceptable.  I mentioned it in passing in a conversation at work once, and got a much stronger reaction than I expected.  The conversation stopped in its tracks, I got some weird looks, and after an awkward silence, one guy even told me that it's impossible in Florida "because it's too humid."   

Because clothes last forever when you don't use dryers, I have another socially-unacceptable habit: wearing shirts in public that my parents bought me in high school (I'm 30).  They still fit and Less Than Jake is still a good band.

[wenchsenior]

Apparently, hanging my clothes to dry (as opposed to using a dryer) is not socially acceptable.  I mentioned it in passing in a conversation at work once, and got a much stronger reaction than I expected.  The conversation stopped in its tracks, I got some weird looks, and after an awkward silence, one guy even told me that it's impossible in Florida "because it's too humid."   

Because clothes last forever when you don't use dryers, I have another socially-unacceptable habit: wearing shirts in public that my parents bought me in high school (I'm 30).  They still fit and Less Than Jake is still a good band.

Oh, I can beat that, easily.

Around age 45, I finally ditched one of my 'holiday blouses'... the kind that is simple and pretty, but a little old-fashioned because of the lace accents...long-sleeved cream-colored silk with fitted-lace half-sleeves and a lace collar that knotted.  I think my Mom bought it for me when I was 12 or thereabouts. I wore it on and off that entire span of 30 + years.

I still have several clothes from my early college years that are perfectly wearable...  A couple years ago (my late 40s) I finally had to get rid of a classic charcoal-colored pencil skirt that buttoned all the way up to the hip...simply b/c that waistband was absolutely 24 inches with no damn give in it, and as it turns out my late 40s waistline is not apparently going to go below 25 inches again, even if I'm at college weight and sporting 6 pack abs.  It's baffling and irritating...but I eventually had to bow to reality. :sniffle: I miss you, classy skirt!

[PDXTabs]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

It's living in a vacant commercial building that needs to be protected from squat until it finds its purpose (be demolished and rebuilt into something else). People lived in office space / bankrupt care home / prison / etc.

Example here in an old clinic:
https://www.global-guardians.co.uk/guardian/property/1158/the-margaret-mcmillan-field-study-centre-wrotham-kent-tn15-7jn

I had no idea. I'm super excited about this option.

I'll add one: living in my mom's attic for years after I was a white collar professional.

EDITed to add - I happen to know that selling plasma is socially unacceptable, but I have enough taxable income and I don't love needles.

[erutio]

For those of us unfamiliar with a guardianship house, could you explain what that is?

It's living in a vacant commercial building that needs to be protected from squat until it finds its purpose (be demolished and rebuilt into something else). People lived in office space / bankrupt care home / prison / etc.

Example here in an old clinic:
https://www.global-guardians.co.uk/guardian/property/1158/the-margaret-mcmillan-field-study-centre-wrotham-kent-tn15-7jn

I had no idea. I'm super excited about this option.

I'll add one: living in my mom's attic for years after I was a white collar professional.

EDITed to add - I happen to know that selling plasma is socially unacceptable, but I have enough taxable income and I don't love needles.

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

[BikeFanatic]

I used to get alot of disdain for riding my bike to work in all weather and hours of the day and night. My coworkers often insisted that they drive me home because  it was snowing or raining. The younger crowd i work with now are more understanding. I know if I was a guy my coworkers would have felt differently.

[Nickyd£g]

my TV broke and I didn't replace it for about 9 months. 9 months of pretty much daily hectoring and shocked outrage that I didn't have one. It was kinda weird to be honest. Got even more outrage when I bought a 32" on for £50 second hand. Apparently its "tiny". Sigh.

[Master of None]

my TV broke and I didn't replace it for about 9 months. 9 months of pretty much daily hectoring and shocked outrage that I didn't have one. It was kinda weird to be honest. Got even more outrage when I bought a 32" on for £50 second hand. Apparently its "tiny". Sigh.

I love when my family comes to visit and if they want to watch TV they have to do it on our enormous 32" TV. They have a 65" and have a smaller living room than we do so they usually just give up and turn it off. Makes me happy as I would rather have conversations with them when they are visiting from out of town and not just be together in a room watching TV.

[ketchup]

my TV broke and I didn't replace it for about 9 months. 9 months of pretty much daily hectoring and shocked outrage that I didn't have one. It was kinda weird to be honest. Got even more outrage when I bought a 32" on for £50 second hand. Apparently its "tiny". Sigh.

People get really weird about TVs.  Back when my GF and I lived with roommates, the house TV was purchased by one of the roommates, so when we moved out that stayed with them.  We didn't buy a TV of our own for about 18 months.  In the meantime, if we watched anything, it was on our 24" computer monitor.  Apparently that's a crime. 

And when we finally bought our TV, it was "only" a 43" 1080p (in early 2017), also apparently a crime.  As far as I'm concerned, it's pretty close to the biggest TV that works without having an entire house designed around how giant the TV is.

[PDXTabs]

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

Just the disdain I see one peoples faces when I even suggest it. That's what poor people do.

[Rdy2Fire]

Stopped buying deodorant :) 

[PDXTabs]

my TV broke and I didn't replace it for about 9 months. 9 months of pretty much daily hectoring and shocked outrage that I didn't have one. It was kinda weird to be honest. Got even more outrage when I bought a 32" on for £50 second hand. Apparently its "tiny". Sigh.

People get really weird about TVs.  Back when my GF and I lived with roommates, the house TV was purchased by one of the roommates, so when we moved out that stayed with them.  We didn't buy a TV of our own for about 18 months.  In the meantime, if we watched anything, it was on our 24" computer monitor.  Apparently that's a crime. 

And when we finally bought our TV, it was "only" a 43" 1080p (in early 2017), also apparently a crime.  As far as I'm concerned, it's pretty close to the biggest TV that works without having an entire house designed around how giant the TV is.

Oh absolutely. I spent years without a TV. In fact, I've never purchased a TV in my life. Every single TV that I've owned has been a freebie from a friend or family member when they were upgrading their TV. I currently have a 42" 1080P because my buddy got a 60" 4K set.

[PoutineLover]

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

Just the disdain I see one peoples faces when I even suggest it. That's what poor people do.

This is really interesting to me. In Canada most blood and plasma donations are unpaid, because they don't want to corrupt the supply with people who lie to get paid. So if you donate, it's usually seen as a good, altruistic thing to do. Of course, we never have enough voluntary donors so we end up buying paid supplies from the US, so it's a bit of a silly system.

[PDXTabs]

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

Just the disdain I see one peoples faces when I even suggest it. That's what poor people do.

This is really interesting to me. In Canada most blood and plasma donations are unpaid, because they don't want to corrupt the supply with people who lie to get paid. So if you donate, it's usually seen as a good, altruistic thing to do. Of course, we never have enough voluntary donors so we end up buying paid supplies from the US, so it's a bit of a silly system.

Oh, absolutely. Whole blood was a paid product in the USA until ~1970 when the Red Cross started to push donation. Now tons of people donate whole blood and that's altruistic, but plasma is still paid. It's not just supply corruption, they also want to stop people from "donating" too frequently.

[TartanTallulah]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

My oldest daughter had her tubes tied nine years ago when she was 20. Same reason, had just never liked kids and couldn't see that changing. She had to push her GP for a referral and the second gynaecologist she saw agreed only if she could get another colleague to support the decision.

I thought reversible contraception would be a better decision (free in the UK, and she had been happy with the implant for several years) but she had my full support and she's never shown any sign of regret. Bottom line, if someone doesn't want children then making sure they don't have children is the most responsible thing they can do.

[Catbert]

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

Back in the day (pre-AIDS) I use to drive by a commercial plasma center in an ungentrified part of downtown.  The center opened at 0800 and if you saw the people lined up at 0730 to donate you'd never want plasma and you'd understand why people are skeeved out by those who sell plasma.  I think that's largely where the prejudice comes.  Today a lot more plasma is donated rather than sold.

Just the disdain I see one peoples faces when I even suggest it. That's what poor people do.

This is really interesting to me. In Canada most blood and plasma donations are unpaid, because they don't want to corrupt the supply with people who lie to get paid. So if you donate, it's usually seen as a good, altruistic thing to do. Of course, we never have enough voluntary donors so we end up buying paid supplies from the US, so it's a bit of a silly system.

Oh, absolutely. Whole blood was a paid product in the USA until ~1970 when the Red Cross started to push donation. Now tons of people donate whole blood and that's altruistic, but plasma is still paid. It's not just supply corruption, they also want to stop people from "donating" too frequently.

[TeresaB]

I've donated blood before, but have never sold plasma.  Why is that socially unacceptable?

Just the disdain I see one peoples faces when I even suggest it. That's what poor people do.

Around here selling plasma is kind of associated with being a drug addict because it's an easy way to make cash. And people have this idea you'll catch drug addiction or AIDS or something. It seems totally irrational to me. I've never been but I'm pretty sure the medical professionals who work there don't reuse the needles. 🙄

[YttriumNitrate]

Around here selling plasma is kind of associated with being a drug addict because it's an easy way to make cash. And people have this idea you'll catch drug addiction or AIDS or something. It seems totally irrational to me. I've never been but I'm pretty sure the medical professionals who work there don't reuse the needles. 🙄

Well, not in the USA anyways. In some places, there's hasn't been a great track record.

By 1995, Henan Province had become a blood farm built on a criminalized plasma economy. Thousands of Chinese donors became infected with AIDS and Hepatitis C.

https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/05/blood-money-the-twisted-business-of-donating-plasma/362012/

[Peachtea]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

Just a few years ago my coworker’s husband (mid to late 30s, two kids) asked his doctor to schedule a vasectomy and the doctor said he needed his wife’s permission. She was like WTF go to a different doctor. Because even though she had been, uh, greatly encouraging him to get it down, the notion of spousal permission was repugnant. I feel like it’s a more common issue for women who want their tubes tied, but I thought it was interesting that some men get push back too.

[DadJokes]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

Just a few years ago my coworker’s husband (mid to late 30s, two kids) asked his doctor to schedule a vasectomy and the doctor said he needed his wife’s permission. She was like WTF go to a different doctor. Because even though she had been, uh, greatly encouraging him to get it down, the notion of spousal permission was repugnant. I feel like it’s a more common issue for women who want their tubes tied, but I thought it was interesting that some men get push back too.

Y'all are looking at this from the perspective of an intelligent, reasonable person. Unfortunately, a large number of people aren't intelligent or reasonable.

There are a lot of dumbasses out there who will make a snap decision or lie to a doctor that their spouse is on board. The doctor doesn't want to be in the middle of a marriage fight.

[MudPuppy]

That’s fine but unless the individual lacks capacity, they don’t need anyone else’s consent to receive medical care.

[jinga nation]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

Just a few years ago my coworker’s husband (mid to late 30s, two kids) asked his doctor to schedule a vasectomy and the doctor said he needed his wife’s permission. She was like WTF go to a different doctor. Because even though she had been, uh, greatly encouraging him to get it down, the notion of spousal permission was repugnant. I feel like it’s a more common issue for women who want their tubes tied, but I thought it was interesting that some men get push back too.

Y'all are looking at this from the perspective of an intelligent, reasonable person. Unfortunately, a large number of people aren't intelligent or reasonable.

There are a lot of dumbasses out there who will make a snap decision or lie to a doctor that their spouse is on board. The doctor doesn't want to be in the middle of a marriage fight.

More importantly, the doctor doesn't want to get sued. This is a liability issue, especially if in a country teeming with lawyers where lawsuits can be filed via a few clicks. The doctor is trying to cover his ass and ensure all stakeholders are on-board with le snip snip.

[DadJokes]

Probably the thing I've done that's garnered the most outrage (seriously, people really get upset about it) was getting my tubes tied when I was 21.Though it was more due to child-hating than cost-cutting, it's saved me a fortune on birth control.

Using the term, "child-hating," probably doesn't help quell that outrage. That's like saying you hate puppies or kittens.

Surprisingly, in my experience that's not the case. The people who get outraged do so without asking further questions, so they have no idea if I did it to save money, because I hate kids, have a medical condition, or any other reason. The people who don't get offended/outraged from the start seem to continue to not get offended/outraged after I tell them my reasons.

I know someone (USA) that was told a flat no from her doctor about getting her tubes tied.  She was 29 at the time.  "Child-hating" would be her reason too. 

Personally, I was snipped at 26 despite getting every question wrong at the urologist. (How many kids do you have?  Are you married?  How old are you? Zero, no, 26.) 3 years later and I can't believe I didn't do it sooner.

Wow, 29 is getting pretty old to have to deal with that bullshit. Doctors are weird. I was already feeling too old to deal with that bullshit at 21 when I finally had mine done after trying for four years. I was at the point of strategizing like I was going into battle. One doctor seemed to like points X and Y, but then point Z sank me, avoid saying Z. These demographics of medical workers seem to be more willing to help, let's try to find more people who tick those boxes. Can I strategically lie to the front liners in a way that will get me to the next level up without harming my case. My final attempt was a damn work of art, and it worked - and the surgeon got a kick out of my strategy when I fessed up.

It does seem to have gotten easier since then. I have two younger cousins who also got sterilized fairly young, along with a few acquaintances.

Just a few years ago my coworker’s husband (mid to late 30s, two kids) asked his doctor to schedule a vasectomy and the doctor said he needed his wife’s permission. She was like WTF go to a different doctor. Because even though she had been, uh, greatly encouraging him to get it down, the notion of spousal permission was repugnant. I feel like it’s a more common issue for women who want their tubes tied, but I thought it was interesting that some men get push back too.

Y'all are looking at this from the perspective of an intelligent, reasonable person. Unfortunately, a large number of people aren't intelligent or reasonable.

There are a lot of dumbasses out there who will make a snap decision or lie to a doctor that their spouse is on board. The doctor doesn't want to be in the middle of a marriage fight.

What business is it of the doctors whether a spouse is onboard or not? He's not the decider (and neither is a spouse) of what I want to do to my body unless it is illegal or harmful. While I agree requesting a younger childless person get some counseling before making an irreversible decsion is a wise thing, in the end it is up to the person and not their spouse or their doctor to make that decision for them. That's a personal decision between spouses not a medical doctor. Of course in a healthy relationship all that is probably discussed before marriage or when making the decision but still up to the individual even if it wrecks the marriage.

See Jinga Nation's response.

[socaso]

I still have clothes from college that I wear regularly. I repair our clothes when they need it. When my kid busts through the knees of his pants I hang onto them and turn them into shorts for the summer. Most of my child's clothes except his school uniforms are bought second hand. I thrift shop a lot and buy all kinds of things there, including gifts for friends and family. Everyone I would consider a friend actually loves all my handmade and thrifty ways but I have gotten some snooty looks from people who think used items are inferior to new. The most common scenario is I tell a coworker and they are horrified. But these same people will start complaining about having no money and I just go check my bank balance and smirk. There is nothing in this world that compares to the security of knowing you have put yourself in a position to weather whatever storms come your way.

[DadJokes]

Is a spouse legally required to get permission from other spouse to get snipped or tubes tied? Can a spouse sue a doctor because they did the procedure without the other spouses written consent? I don't know the answer but it would seem unlikely.

ETA: Googled this: "Tubal ligation is a surgical procedure that is over 99% effective at preventing pregnancy, according to the Mayo Clinic. ... According to federal government policy, women do not need their spouse's consent to have their tubes tied, though that was a requirement decades ago."

Is a doctor required to provide treatment to everyone who requests it?

Reading that same article you are referring to, state laws can't require spousal consent, but individual medical providers can. I'm all for a doctor choosing not to do it if they don't want. If you don't like that a specific doctor won't do it, then find one who will. I can't imagine that my wife's OBGYN would think twice about doing the procedure for my wife, with or without my permission. Maybe it's because she's a woman.

[erutio]

Everyone is right.  An individual does NOT need the consent of their spouse for a vasectomy or tubal ligation. At the same time, as these are entirely elective procedures, a doctor can put whatever stipulations they want before agreeing to proceed.  Similar to requiring patients to lose a certain amount of weight and go to counseling/diet classes prior to a gastric bypass surgery. 

[Kem]

Sold a $32K car for a 1.5K honda.  Proceeded to pick up a client from the airport prior to Uber’s ubiquity – turns out despite his Fortune 500 CFO’s income his car had more miles and years on it than my own.

Resole my own natural dress shoes.

Manually evacuated a long since last used septic pit just to help out a friend.

Lived in my car for a few seasons – showered at truck stops.

Rented a rotting coal room in the ghetto for 2 years while paying (much) of my way through college in a very expensive major.

Budget - tweak, optimize, repeat

Maintain a $60/Month rolling restaurant budget for a family of 5

Cook entire weeks’ worth of meals once per week – 95% of the time in my ceramic grill (despite subzero temperature or downpours).

Corn my own brisket – and tongue.

Sauer my own kraut.

Look to tweak my own macros/micro/exercise balance when my body isn’t ticking quite right before jumping over to a doctors’ den.

Use cyanoacrylic on flesh wounds that most would just get stitched.

Make my own soap – I lye not. 

No cable tele – mostly read books.

In general, repair or restore rather than replace.

Refuse to carry a credit card balance.

If 'something' is wanted, give it a month (or more) to consider if it actually adds value to my life.

[clarkfan1979]

I bought a 2007 Pontiac Vibe in Jan 2020 with 158,000 miles for $2750. People scratch their head and ask why I don't drive a $40,000 SUV. Justification is sometimes given that I like to snowboard in the mountains. Yes, that true, I'm hoping for 30-40 days of snowboarding next season. However, if I buy a $40,000 SUV that means I will have work more hours to afford the payment and my number of snowboarding days would go down to 20 days for the season.

[Zikoris]

Another one - not wearing makeup or doing hair stuff. I avoid it because it just seems stupid and pointless to me to fuck around trying to make myself look different, and I haven't got a clue what I'm doing anyways, but it probably saves me a fortune, at least according to all the people who talk about the unavoidable "pink tax" and how that stuff puts women in the poor house. Good thing it's optional!

When I was a teenager people used to tell me that a) no guy would date a woman who didn't do makeup/hair stuff, and b) no company would ever hire said woman, particularly for customer-facing roles. Turns out to all be bullshit. Tons of guys actually hate makeup altogether and purposely look for women who don't wear it (like, literally everyone I've dated). And I've never had trouble finding work either.