Author Topic: Weird situation . . . poop, anger, children, swearing, dogs, awful people  (Read 13497 times)

GuitarStv

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So, let me paint a picture for you:

This morning (like every morning for the past five or six months) I got my son ready for daycare, got the dog ready, and we walked to his daycare.  Like every morning I tie my dog up well out of the way of any other parents dropping kids off outside of the daycare, go in for two seconds to drop off my son, and then start to walk my beagle home.  The sun is shining, it's warm, and I'm pretty cheerful.

I see a woman walking two kids (the kids are maybe around six years old?) so I rein the dog in so that she's well off to the side of the sidewalk so that they can get by easily.  We're about ten feet away from each other when the woman starts talking to me, and this is pretty close to the conversation we had:

Her - "There's fucking shit all over the fucking sidewalk from your fucking dog, go pick it up you asshole!"

Me - "What?"

Her - "Your fucking dog shit all over the fucking sidewalk.  Fucking disgusting go fucking pick it up."

Me - "Look, I pick up after my dog . . ."  *Reach into my pocket and hold up a handful of poop baggies*

Her - "You're fucking disgusting, I bet there's shit all over your fucking house you fucking let your fucking dog shit everywhere . . . etc."

Me - "Look lady, I don't really know what your problem is.  I pick up after my dog."

So, then I walked home . . . feeling pretty angry to be honest.  (I did see some dog poop in the middle of the sidewalk a bit further up.)  The thing is, my dog poops on the same grassy area every morning, and I pick it up and put it in the same garbage can next to the road as I'm walking my son to school.  My son actually says "The doggie is pooping daddy, you have to pick it up" every time.  It happened this morning, just like it happens every other morning.  She absolutely didn't poop again, and she would never poop or pee on concrete.


My concern is that I have this routine, and it's great for everybody.  The dog gets some exercise, my son gets some exercise before school starts, and it works really well for my schedule.  There's really only one route that I can take to walk my son to school.  I have a few concerns:
1.  I'm likely going to run into this idiot again, maybe with my son and she might start swearing/making a scene and scaring him.  He is kinda sensitive and has never been around someone acting like that.  (She clearly thinks that's perfectly OK behaviour around young children, and she must be taking her children to the same daycare/school that my son goes to.)
2.  I'm concerned that she might try to do something to my dog while she's tied up for the minute or two that I'm dropping off my son.  My dog is a 22 lb beagle, and was a rescue dog.  She was very timid with people and it took a while before she was comfy around and friendly with strangers.  Moreover, if someone intentionally hurt my dog I'm not sure how I'd handle it, but that's probably on a verge of losing control anger level situation.

What do you think I should do?  Am I being crazy?

GenXbiker

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That's some weird shit.  It sounds like your dog needs a guard dog, or maybe a temporary guard to watch over him for a few minutes for your piece of mind.  The closest I've heard to your story was when a guy at work told me that someone came out of their house and complained to him about the dog shitting and pissing in his lawn.

Firehazard

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It wouldn't leave my dog alone for even a moment if there was any chance that crazy bitch might come by.  It sucks because you didn't do anything wrong.

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Just ignore. Don't engage. There are nutters in the world, and she's obviously one of them. Let her be.

joonifloofeefloo

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Geeeeez!!!

Are you allowed to carry your dog to the school for the two-second drop off?
re: Kid exposed to yuck behaviour while he's with you, I would turn that into a teachable moment. He's going to run into jerks. But I wouldn't leave a vulnerable creature (human, dog, or other) where this strange person can kick him. I'd carry him to the school and if the school brings it up, explain the situation.

Dicey

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Seriously, here is what you do: Pick up your dog's poop. Tie the bag with a loop and do not throw it away. When you tie up the dog at the school, clip the bag to her leash. (Gross as it sounds, your puppy will be okay for a few moments. See how I know below.) When you return, unclip the bag and carry it. Whenever you see this woman, wave to her. Make sure you use the hand that's holding the bag. Do not throw the bag away until you return to your own property. Lather, rinse, repeat until she gets the message.

Explanation: My MIL has Alzheimer's. On family strolls, she always wants to walk one of the dogs. She also will not lead, because she literally does not know where she is going. We discovered that the trailing dog was pooping occasionally (she usually does so at home), and MIL was just stepping over it, not saying anything. Ack! We finally figured out a solution. When the lead dog poops first, as she always does, we pick it up, tie the bag with a loop and clip it to the top of the other dog's harness. Somehow, this gets my MIL to call out when the second dog does her business. IDK why, it just does. We bag up the second present and clip each bag to the corresponding dog's harness for the rest of the walk. I know this sounds convoluted, but the dogs just ignore the bags. They're completely oblivious, and no poop gets left behind.

With This Herring

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Dicey, I like your idea in principle, but I wouldn't want to count on swearing woman noticing a little bag of poop and deciding to reign in her temper.  She's being illogical now (how could one dog leave that much poop?), and it seems unlikely she will have some switch flipped and become a civil human being.

joonifloofeefloo

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Quote
Dicey, I like your idea in principle, but I wouldn't want to count on swearing woman noticing a little bag of poop and deciding to reign in her temper.  She's being illogical now (how could one dog leave that much poop?), and it seems unlikely she will have some switch flipped and become a civil human being.

+1. Until she is well again, she will see any other poop as evidence that Little Rescue Dog's poop is lying around.

Freedomin5

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Hey, as a Canadian who grew up in Toronto (where I assume OP is currently residing), I would have no qualms telling her, "Sorry, but your language is disgusting and unacceptable, especially in front of young children."

I would then show her the bag of doggie poop and let her know that I have, in fact picked up after my dog, just as OP did, and then ignore her.

If she uses nasty language in front of my preschooler, I would very loudly turn it into a teachable moment (shame her a bit) by telling my child that some people get angry and use bad words, but that's not good and we should try to talk calmly and solve the problem.

I would also bring my dog into the school and if the lady's kids attend the same school, I would let the main office know what happened (very angry lady/parent loudly swearing and screaming in front of the school) and let them know I do not feel safe leaving my pet outside. If they don't like me walking my pet through the halls, I would ask one of the front desk staff to keep an eye on my pet while I brought my kid to his class. In any case, I would make sure that someone was watch ping the dog while I was in the school.

okits

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If you're pretty sure this person's kids attend the same school as your son, check to see if they have any policies around parent behaviour.  My kid's place forbids parents from behaving aggressively with the staff or other parents/kids, or starting altercations (the profanity-laced tirade would qualify).  A kid can get kicked out of daycare for a parent's repeated poor behaviour (or the parent banned from the premises). 

At the very least, reporting it to the school will create a record of the incident, and if they know the person they can suggest constructive ways for her to do something about the poop on the ground (like report to the correct authorities).  Maybe there's video surveillance of the area (if the poop is a recurrent problem).

I consider your beagle to be a small dog.  I would keep her with you (short leash or hold in arms, a carrier if the school absolutely insists for the two seconds you're on school property) at all times.  Explain that another parent has behaved threateningly towards her and you fear someone might hurt her if she's unattended.

Padonak

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I think she wants to have sex with you.

[MOD NOTE: This is the wrong part of the Internet for that.]
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 04:57:18 AM by FrugalToque »

intellectsucks

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I think the fears of someone fucking with your dog are a little overblown. There is a really big leap from cursing about dog crap to assaulting a tied up animal in front of a busy school entrance.
Devil's advocate view:
A lady is walking to school with her kids and has to dodge fresh dog crap on the way. Sees a dude with a dog walking on the route and snaps. A lot of times it's hard to reasonably assess evidence (you telling her that you pick up after your dog and showing empty poop baggies) once you're fired up.

My advice: continue your routine exactly as you have been. If she makes an issue of it again, then tell her that you're just as mad about the dog crap as she is if not more since you're taking the time to clean up after yours. Tell her you're going to mention it to the school administrator/local authorities and suggest she do the same.
However it turns out, keep us posted.

Secretly Saving

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I think she wants to have sex with you.

Are you twelve years old?  OP has a legitimate concern and story to share. 

Good luck GuitarStv.  I hope you do not have to deviate from your enjoyable routine.  I expect that the daycare may have a policy in place and if not, they will still want to know about this woman.  She is likely to cause other problems in the future.  Keep us posted!

WhiteTrashCash

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Ok, this is a situation I can really help with because the person in question sounds really trashy. I have lots of experience in that area.

White trash are loud, brash, egotistical, opinionated and completely lacking in sophistication, so you can't confront them the way you confront a normal human being. They will only respond appropriately to shows of strength. Typically, you could do this by getting in their face and cursing them out, but you are a nice normal person who recognizes that it's not a good thing to swear in front of children. Instead, what you should do is get loud, get in their face, and make an obnoxious show of wealth in front of them.

You could say something like "Step off. I have baggies that I purchased to use for my dog's poop. Maybe you should look into purchasing some of your own if you can afford them. I know not everybody makes as much money as I do, but surely you aren't that poor."

Yes, that seems really crass and stupid, but white trash interpret that kind of display as a demonstration of social status similar to male peacocks spreading their feathers. They will respond by backing down submissively. Yeah, I know. It's dumb but it actually works.

SachaFiscal

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She may have just been having a really bad day and taken it out on you. I would continue as normal and not worry too much unless it happens again.

applegrapepie

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I just don't want to see this type of people in my life.. making me angry too.

nancy33

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Dog stroller until the lady stabilizes?

ahoy

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How annoying an inappropriate. I walk a few dogs (dog walker) and I have not yet had this situation.   I am thinking one day I will probably run into somebody like this though.  I do not have a dog or cat at home.  But everyday my neighbours cats leave me a little surprise in my vegetable garden.  Just yesterday, there was poop on my silverbeet seedling leaves, that I had just planted 24 hrs before.  I certainly do not go and blast my neighbours or say anything at all.   However, it does seem to be a different story for cat owners!  Cats go poop all around the neighbourhood gardens and get away with it!   Different standard for dogs I guess....

Hope you don't run into her again.   

caseyzee

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Have you ever seen her before?  If this is a walk you take every day and you've never seen her, perhaps she normally drives and you won't see her again?

chemistk

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I'd just shrug it off and keep on with your life like this incident never happened. You know you're vigilant about cleaning up after your dog, your son knows that, and your dog knows that. This woman thinks she knows otherwise and from your cursory encounter with her, she seems like someone not easily swayed.

Maybe life is rough for her right now, and she's trying not to take her anger out on her kids, and you just happened to be the scapegoat for her frustration that morning. Like I said, best just to leave it alone.

I had this happen (sort of) to me. I go for a short walk in a local park before work and one morning a woman approached me as I was still in my car accusing me of being a pervert and making lude gestures at her. Even went as far as to take my plat number down and threaten to call the police. I was calm and polite to her and left the park quietly. She has never appeared in my routine since, and nothing's come of it.

Best just to leave these kinds of things alone. Not always easy, but it will bring you more peace in the long run.

GuitarStv

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Have you ever seen her before?  If this is a walk you take every day and you've never seen her, perhaps she normally drives and you won't see her again?

I've seen her before.  Generally I don't really pay too much attention to the people around me other than to smile or occasionally say hello.  I remember her from a couple weeks back though because she was yelling at one of her kids and literally dragging him along the sidewalk by one arm.


Ok, this is a situation I can really help with because the person in question sounds really trashy. I have lots of experience in that area.

White trash are loud, brash, egotistical, opinionated and completely lacking in sophistication, so you can't confront them the way you confront a normal human being. They will only respond appropriately to shows of strength. Typically, you could do this by getting in their face and cursing them out, but you are a nice normal person who recognizes that it's not a good thing to swear in front of children. Instead, what you should do is get loud, get in their face, and make an obnoxious show of wealth in front of them.

You could say something like "Step off. I have baggies that I purchased to use for my dog's poop. Maybe you should look into purchasing some of your own if you can afford them. I know not everybody makes as much money as I do, but surely you aren't that poor."

Yes, that seems really crass and stupid, but white trash interpret that kind of display as a demonstration of social status similar to male peacocks spreading their feathers. They will respond by backing down submissively. Yeah, I know. It's dumb but it actually works.

I'm a large white dude, and she is a small black lady with two kids.  Although it might help, I can't see any way that acting aggressively towards her would do anything but make me an asshole in the view of anyone in the neighbourhood.


She may have just been having a really bad day and taken it out on you. I would continue as normal and not worry too much unless it happens again.

I'm guessing that this is what happened.  It's just that the vehemence took me off guard yesterday.





So, I decided to continue my routine as normal today (can't let the terrorists win) but be a little more vigilant.  Along the section of sidewalk near my son's daycare there is a lot of (very obviously big dog) poop . . . (something around the size a fully grown Rottweiler would produce).  On my way back home, I passed this woman and her kids again.  I just stood up very straight and stared right at her as she passed.  She looked up at me for a second, pretended not to notice me, and then hustled her children onward.  I'm hoping very much that this will be the end of my interactions with that lady.

MrsPete

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1.  I'm likely going to run into this idiot again,
Find out who she is /who her kid is.  Why?  Many of the kids /parents we knew in the day care years ended up in classrooms with my kids later, and it would be good if you could recognize her name on a list.  You clearly don't want her company, and it might save you some trouble later.  When your son reaches elementary school you'll get into "the birthday party years", and you want to avoid inviting /attending her kids' parties. 

If she uses nasty language in front of my preschooler, I would very loudly turn it into a teachable moment (shame her a bit) by telling my child that some people get angry and use bad words, but that's not good and we should try to talk calmly and solve the problem.
You're not going to succeed in shaming her.  IF she feels any shame, she will cover it with more nastiness for the moment and think about it later, after the situation is finished. 
I agree with turning negative situations into teachable moments, though ideally such things would not come so early in your child's life.

I think the fears of someone fucking with your dog are a little overblown. There is a really big leap from cursing about dog crap to assaulting a tied up animal in front of a busy school entrance.
Yeah, agreed.

I've seen her before.  Generally I don't really pay too much attention to the people around me other than to smile or occasionally say hello.  I remember her from a couple weeks back though because she was yelling at one of her kids and literally dragging him along the sidewalk by one arm.
Definitely talk to the staff in the day care.  You've observed aggressive behavior from her twice, and you're just a casual passer-by.  The staff may know more, and they are mandated reporters, which means that if they are aware of anything that might be going on with those kids, they are legally required to go to DSS with their concerns -- and DSS takes them more seriously than a random passer-by. 
« Last Edit: August 04, 2017, 08:19:55 AM by MrsPete »

LadyStache in Baja

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Glad that she left you alone this time.

How about you start an alliance with her! That poop is disgusting! Band together for change!

You could drive a stake into the ground right in front of the poopy area, put up a sign that says "Please pick up after your dog, here are some baggies". And attach a bag of baggies to the stake.

Jtrey17

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I think she wants to have sex with you.
Nailed it!


[MOD NOTE: uh-huh.  No. This is the wrong part of the Internet for that.]
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 04:58:12 AM by FrugalToque »

Roe

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I think she wants to have sex with you.
Nailed it!

Nailed it?

As in guITarstv?

Are you Crazy Dog Poop Lady here to boast about your conquest?

simonsez

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Don't let the terrorists win!

I wouldn't change anything.  Maybe they had a worse day than normal, maybe they had a bad experience with poop/dogs/beagles in the past.  Who knows?  But it's not on you to do anything - that would be a ridiculous societal burden.  Do your thing, smile, enjoy the morning routine - you never know the mental wellness of someone else, how bad someone else's normal situation is at home (that they feel the need to lash out when they have escaped to run errands, etc.), or whatever else could make someone accost an innocent person.  Politely avoid and hope it's an aberration.

force majeure

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I have a cane corso pure-bred dog. Look them up.
Tell ye, if we meet a person like that, they better be a sprint runner or have good medical cover.

mcluhan

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I think you were just a convenient target for this woman's anger. It really had nothing to do with you or your dog. I bet if you looked meaner and had a pitbull she would have left you alone. Anyway, she has probably already forgotten about the incident...Just an idea, but if she does anything like that again just calmly pull out your smartphone and record a video of her. This will most likely shut down her crazy little act and you'll have some evidence of her harassment.     

GuitarStv

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I think you were just a convenient target for this woman's anger. It really had nothing to do with you or your dog. I bet if you looked meaner and had a pitbull she would have left you alone. Anyway, she has probably already forgotten about the incident...Just an idea, but if she does anything like that again just calmly pull out your smartphone and record a video of her. This will most likely shut down her crazy little act and you'll have some evidence of her harassment.   

Great, now I need to buy a cellphone?  :P

MasterStache

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I bet if you looked meaner and had a pitbull she would have left you alone.

Oh the looks I get walking my pit. People generally leave me alone, but I get a lot of looks like I am walking a terrorist dog. I just laugh it off. Most of the time others walking their dogs will go far off to the side trying to reign in their dog as it's pulling and barking trying to get at my dog. And my dog doesn't bat an eye. Anywho, off topic.

If it were me I would be prepared to video tape her tirade or tell her to STFU.

BTDretire

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I think she wants to have sex with you.
Nailed it!

Nailed it?

As in guITarstv?

Are you Crazy Dog Poop Lady here to boast about your conquest?
I heard she's really into big white men!


[MOD NOTE: This is the wrong part of the Internet for that.]
« Last Edit: August 10, 2017, 04:59:02 AM by FrugalToque »

SimpleSpartan

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Theres no need to confront her OP. Simple, walk by her and  say nothing, explain to your child that she is mentally unstable and move on with you day.

BlueHouse

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I would also report it to the daycare center.  No need to make a "formal report", but I would just mention it to one or two people in the building.  Just let them know so that if anything about it comes up in the future, then they'll know not to take her word without some evidence.  Maybe the daycare even has video cameras and maybe they can find the real culprit.

Goldielocks

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Okay,   a page of replies but not one suggestion of...

Pick up the other person / dog's poop once or twice?  You know, because there are 10 reasons why a good owner may unintentionally have left poop behind (including the dog getting loose, Alzheimers, incontinent dog, child walking a dog, etc, etc., etc).   You know, for good karma and all the other children walking to school, and good Karma between dog owners?

I mean, if I saw broken glass on the way to my kid'd daycare, I would likely pick it up.

The woman -- yep, a bit crazy and keep your dog safe, like the others' posts.... but why not pick up some double duty (doo-ty) poop?

joonifloofeefloo

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I would pick it up if I really felt like being a volunteer, but in my last location, I would have been picking up every few feet in spring, and regularly the rest of the year. I learned not to do that, so wouldn't suggest it to someone else.

SavinMaven

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I would also bring my dog into the school and if the lady's kids attend the same school, I would let the main office know what happened (very angry lady/parent loudly swearing and screaming in front of the school) and let them know I do not feel safe leaving my pet outside. If they don't like me walking my pet through the halls, I would ask one of the front desk staff to keep an eye on my pet while I brought my kid to his class. In any case, I would make sure that someone was watch ping the dog while I was in the school.

I'm sorry, but this is not an appropriate solution at all, and if you do this, it's likely you will anger a whole bunch of parents, who now will have a legitimate beef. I know the OP didn't post this, but for the poster who did:

- the school is not responsible for what happens on the sidewalk
- you are not entitled to force the school to either babysit your dog or let you walk it through the building
- most schools do not allow animals, and now you are breaking actual school rules so you are now the troublemaker instead of dragon lady.

But, making alternate arrangements for the dog, if walking it to school has become an issue, makes good sense.

Bucksandreds

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Seriously, here is what you do: Pick up your dog's poop. Tie the bag with a loop and do not throw it away. When you tie up the dog at the school, clip the bag to her leash. (Gross as it sounds, your puppy will be okay for a few moments. See how I know below.) When you return, unclip the bag and carry it. Whenever you see this woman, wave to her. Make sure you use the hand that's holding the bag. Do not throw the bag away until you return to your own property. Lather, rinse, repeat until she gets the message.

Explanation: My MIL has Alzheimer's. On family strolls, she always wants to walk one of the dogs. She also will not lead, because she literally does not know where she is going. We discovered that the trailing dog was pooping occasionally (she usually does so at home), and MIL was just stepping over it, not saying anything. Ack! We finally figured out a solution. When the lead dog poops first, as she always does, we pick it up, tie the bag with a loop and clip it to the top of the other dog's harness. Somehow, this gets my MIL to call out when the second dog does her business. IDK why, it just does. We bag up the second present and clip each bag to the corresponding dog's harness for the rest of the walk. I know this sounds convoluted, but the dogs just ignore the bags. They're completely oblivious, and no poop gets left behind.

I agree with keeping the poop. But only do it so that you have something to throw at this crazy lady.

frugledoc

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To be honest I would have considered reporting this to the police

partgypsy

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I like the idea of carrying the dog's poop with you as evidence. I get that women, in that she was pissed at seeing all the poop and you might have been the first dog walker she saw and she let loose, wasn't processing what you were saying.
Sex was the last thing she was thinking of as seeing unpicked up dog poop puts one in the opposite of a sexy mood.
"hey babe, I was just picking up poop"

Zamboni

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Sorry this happened to you!

There are four issues here:
1) Some dog owners are irresponsible about poop scooping, giving all of us dog owners a bad rep by association;
2) Some people go batshit crazy about dog poop;
3) Some people think profanity-laced tirades are okay in front of small children;
4) You look like her boss, and he really is a jerk.

None of this has anything to do with you, and it was just your bad luck that you look like her boss. I'm glad she didn't give you lip again the second time you saw her.

Also, I do sometimes pick up other dogs' piles as a good samaritan . . . okay, okay it's really because with my luck I'll be the one who steps in it. But, I also have a medium-sized dog and a pile from a very large dog is not something I'm interested in dealing with regularly. I second the lifetime pass on cleaning up after the offender in this situation.

bobechs

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Steer well clear of any "solution" that involves getting a dog for your dog.

rocketpj

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There is no way to know what her story is (and no incentive to find out).  When people I don't know behave terribly I usually try to 'write' them a backstory that makes it understandable.

Eg.  She just spend two days nursing her father, who died an hour earlier and she is walking around in a sleep deprived, grief filled daze.

Her abusive partner switched her medications so that he could induce awfulness and take away her children in a horrible custody fight.


The point being, there are all kinds of awful experiences or situations that might explain the problem, and might even be reason for empathy.  Probably not, she is probably just a bad person, but we never really know so there is lots to gain by projecting empathy (while also avoiding/minimizing future interactions).

MM_MG

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People suck.

WranglerBowman

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Put a couple drops of blue food coloring in your dogs food, if she confronts you again say "Maim, that's impossible my dog suffers from SRD (Smurf Rectal Disease)." While you show her your bag of blue poop.

or

Get a service dog vest for your dog.

Sounds like you were a scapegoat that day for her not having a good day.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2017, 07:12:02 AM by WranglerBowman »

contra80

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Reminds me a bit of something that happened recently to me.  Was walking past a dog park with my kid when some jerk was pretty much beating his dog.  The look of confusion on my kid's face was heartbreaking.  One of the hardest things I think as a parent is having to watch your kid confront the realities of the world.  I tried to turn it into a teaching moment as best I could, but it sucks watching kids experiencing the awfulness exists out there.     

acroy

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People are weird

She sounds like a... 'troubled' person.

Good experience for you and your kid (and her kid maybe). learn how to deal with oddball situations. We've had similar.

Sometimes I think it's good to meet bad behavior with shall we say 'aggressive intolerance'. Otherwise, the bad actors continue in their bad ways... no consequences for their poor action.