I don't think people understand how older people feel when their children act like its too much trouble to bother calling or visiting. Why should they reward such behavior. I often think that I am going to keep track of how many phone calls and visits I get and "pay" my kids via their inheritance accordingly.
I think you can do whatever you want with your money, but I don't like this approach at all, for several reasons. One, it turns our relationship into a commodity, which...just feels gross to me. Second, there are all kinds of practical/logistical reasons why one kid may visit more than another, including proximity, work schedules and demands, kid demands, physical and mental state, financial resources, spousal input, etc. Third, sometimes the kid who visits more does it for selfish or freeloading reasons. And sometimes, kids don't visit because the parents reap what they sowed. When I hear older people complaining about adult children not visiting, I always wonder what has gone on in that relationship over the lifetime of the kid. Was the parent there for them? Accepting of them? Was there neglect, abuse, cruelty? Favoritism? We can't possibly know, and to assume that the parent is deserving and the child selfish or neglectful...that's assuming an awful lot. I tend to think if you've treated your children well and have a good, supportive, respectful, and empathetic relationship, and the relationship feels mutually-beneficial, they will WANT to visit you. And if they don't...well, there might be good reasons. (Not always, of course).
Bottom line: These things are generally quite complicated and such a formulaic response does not take into account the many layers and reasons that kids visit or don't visit.
