What's MMM's slogan?
"Financial freedom though badassity."
If I came here and made a post how "I have maxed out my credit cards 8 times in my life and paid tons of interest because those companies can't handle my awesomeness. Credit cards give me PTSD. I won't tell anyone that I learned anything from this though because it's not the point and in fact I love running up huge balances on cards, it's their fault for being greedy companies. But because of MMM I feel secure now in being able to live the life I want to live" people would point out the problem in that thinking - rightly so.
Your analogy is a bit clumsy but I’ll work with it to illustrate my point. Add, “I no longer max out credit cards, I pay them all on time now and I’m down to one that I manage responsibly.”
No, I didn’t provide the past details, because they weren’t relevant and the details don’t mitigate the trauma. What I did provide was clear information that now I’m employed, things are well and those issues are present, despite the trauma and fear of being fired following me, even though I’m relatively secure. I’ve said that multiple times. The presumption would be then that I have learned, changed and things are better. Suggestions to reflect, get therapy, et al, are then moot. If I said, I might be fired any day now or something to indicate a current issue, I’d understand, but I didn’t. You focused on the part you wanted to, while ignoring critical and vital information that not only supports and clarifies my position, but renders yours untenable.
Try this sloppy analogy:
Poster: In my past I had serious drinking problem. It caused damage and I live with the pain I caused. I’ve been sober for years, but the guilt lives with me. Thank you AA and the group for encouragement and support.
Internet strangers: We never had an alcohol problem that bad, why couldn’t you control your drinking? Tell us about the damage you caused, don’t gloss over. How bad was the problem? You should go get help to control your drinking! Hate to pile on, but you must be a weak person to let your alcohol get out of control.
Poster: I’m sober. Been sober for years.
Internet strangers: Don’t get defensive. Did you take your advice? Did you reflect on what we said? Give us details so we can decide if you have learned anything about your drinking problem!
Poster: I’m sober. I don’t have a drinking problem. I did the work, that’s why I’m sober. The details aren’t important, the guilt stays with me but I’m still sober.
Internet strangers: You clearly don’t understand that you have issues with alcohol that you’re not dealing with and you’re not taking our advice and fixing your alcohol problem.
Poster: I’m sober. Wasn’t asking for help or advice, just wanted to share and insight and say: thanks.