Author Topic: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?  (Read 7561 times)

LibrarIan

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To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« on: June 12, 2015, 12:15:21 PM »
I'll try to keep this short. In July my wife and I will have been together for 10 years. That's ~3 years of marriage, being in a relationship for 10 years and knowing each other since kindergarten (we started dating at 16). However, we won't be able to celebrate together, as she will be in Portugal during this time and I will be here. She will be there for over one month on an archaeological study abroad/dig for her graduate program.

I've toyed with the idea of flying over to Portugal while she's there and surprising her. The thing is, airfare from here to there and back is like $2,200 minimum according to Matrix Airfare Search. While we do have the money, I'm not sure I'm 100% comfortable with splurging that much on a surprise and staying only a few days (I can't take up all her time), despite it being a major relationship milestone.

Basically, part me says why the hell not and the other part me says she and I can celebrate before/after her trip and invest that money. Thoughts?

Note: For those wondering how she is going on this trip, it's through her university and she basically isn't paying anything to do it.

KCM5

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #1 on: June 12, 2015, 12:24:27 PM »
Are you sure she'll have time to spend with you if you go? It sounds like a fun trip but if I were toiling out in the sun 45 hours a week and then had my spouse (who I love!) wanting to get out and see things, it might be a bit exhausting.

But seriously, it does sound fun - maybe plan a trip together on the off season. I'd bet you can get two tickets to Portugal or somewhere similar for the $2200 that you quoted. Maybe even rent an apartment for a week with that, too.

Are you currently meeting your savings goals?

Kris

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #2 on: June 12, 2015, 12:26:45 PM »
^^ I agree with KCM5.  That $2,200 could go a long way to an off-season trip that the two of you could enjoy together 24/7.  I'd bag this idea, personally, and plan a trip together with her.  That way, you both also get the added fun and enjoyment of dreaming/scheming about it together!  Anticipation is a big part of the fun of a trip.

SK Joyous

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #3 on: June 12, 2015, 01:03:35 PM »
Another vote for a separate trip for both of you at a different time!  With $2200 USD you could get a flight and a nice VRBO rental in Paris for a week (or pick another international destination) if you went in the off-season.  That would probably be more fun for both of you and more time to spend together than working around a work schedule.  Super sweet of you to think of doing it though!

StockBeard

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #4 on: June 12, 2015, 01:10:52 PM »
I'd do it if you have the money.
I've done that (on smaller scale) in a few occasions when I was younger, and this was always extremely appreciated by my (then) girlfriend. Even if it's short, it could become a longer lasting memory than a more "regular" trip together

Once you get there, find a bar close to her place, connect on skype, call her and tell her you miss her and you'd like to be with her to celebrate the event, then boom!
You need someone over there to act as your confident though, to make sure she doesn't have other plans around those days?

Sid Hoffman

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2015, 01:13:45 PM »
I've been outside the US 3 times now, each during the time I was married.  I would only do it when you can truly dedicate your time to enjoying exploring the new place together.  That will also give you more flexibility to hit a larger number of different places.  For example when I traveled with my wife, one trip was to the Bahamas, which was "OK" but the other two were multi-stop trips in Europe.  One was a 12-day cruise of the Mediterranean, stopping at 8 different cities, and the other was an 8-day family road trip with our son, which encompassed taxis, subways, bullet trains, and a rental car over 5 different countries.  You can't really do that kind of thing if your wife is tied down to one geographical location for work.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #6 on: June 12, 2015, 01:20:41 PM »
I would hold off and spend that $2k on a kick ass leisure trip for both of you to enjoy.

While you are planning, look up travel hacking. If you guys both open a Capital one venture card thats $1000 toward free travel right there.

Happy Hunting.

LibrarIan

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #7 on: June 12, 2015, 01:41:38 PM »
Are you sure she'll have time to spend with you if you go?

Are you currently meeting your savings goals?

For this particular portion of her trip, she'll be doing something at the nearby university indoors I believe. She won't be out in the sun digging just yet! That said, it's most likely that her evenings would be free (4PM on).

Yes, we are meeting our savings goals.

You need someone over there to act as your confident though, to make sure she doesn't have other plans around those days?

She is going with another student whom I could probably get information from. Even though the university is paying their lodging bill, I booked the room, so I can get contact information.

While you are planning, look up travel hacking. If you guys both open a Capital one venture card thats $1000 toward free travel right there.

Hm. Your intention to make me not to this might have backfired ;-). Sounds like I can knock $1000 off my airfare.

A side note: I've never been to any place in Europe and I could sight see while she's busy.

kvaruni

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #8 on: June 12, 2015, 01:50:57 PM »
What the hell, why not. I wouldn't spend more than $1000-$1200 on airfare, but isn't the whole point of MMM to be free? If you like it, and you are confident she will be happily surprised, then just be free and spent some lovely time together. And since this is your first time in Europe, do take the time to do a bit of sight-seeing. Flight fares can be surprisingly cheap (check out Ryanair, Aer Lingus and Iberia) and Portugal definitely is one of the cheaper places to be. And the dollar is strong versus euro at the moment, so good time to go.

And being mustachian, you'll try to find ways to minimise most costs anyway :).

Argyle

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #9 on: June 12, 2015, 01:53:21 PM »
I vote for not surprising her.  Sometimes when you're doing things, you get into a head-space where a major change of plans (like a loved one arriving) is seriously disconcerting.  Could be a great surprise, could be her feeling disoriented and a little cranky about the $2200, not being consulted, and having to change her plans around.  If you plan a surprise, I'd plan a surprise trip when she is not already committed to something else.

TaxChick

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #10 on: June 12, 2015, 02:00:10 PM »
Can she tack a week on at the end of the trip where you could join her?  Then you would be able to spend time together.

mathlete

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #11 on: June 12, 2015, 02:10:54 PM »
I say go for it, but don't make it a surprise. Clear it with her b4 spending the money. Surprises are overrated.

But yeah, I don't think spending money to see the world is ever a regrettable decision if its something you can afford.

mathlete

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #12 on: June 12, 2015, 02:14:57 PM »
On the other hand, as someone else who has dated his S/O since high school and is about your age, even though you guys are probably best friends and confidants and usually attached at the hip, it might not hurt to spend some time apart.

My GF and I both took out of state trips independent of the other last year. This year, she is traveling out of the country without me to meet some friends. She offered to have me come along but I don't want her thinking about how she has to entertain me (since she'd be the only one I really know) when she should be having fun with her friends.

2Birds1Stone

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #13 on: June 12, 2015, 02:23:26 PM »


Hm. Your intention to make me not to this might have backfired ;-). Sounds like I can knock $1000 off my airfare.

A side note: I've never been to any place in Europe and I could sight see while she's busy.

You could not, you would have to meet the $3000 min spend on both cards prior to being able to do this (the cost of the trip does count towards that spend however.)

Kansas Beachbum

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #14 on: June 12, 2015, 02:26:00 PM »
To summarize what I think are some of the best comments:

It's never a bad idea to splurge on travel if you can afford it.  Never.
Don't surprise her.
Tack on a week at the end if possible.
Plan a totally separate trip once she's back and rested, probably the best suggestion IMO.

If you decide to plan a separate trip for later, you could arrange to have a card/package delivered to her on the actual day with kind of a gift certificate thingy telling her about the trip you will both be planning/going on once she gets home, and whatever other mushy stuff you want to include :-)

Congrats on the milestone!

starbuck

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #15 on: June 12, 2015, 02:52:56 PM »
I'd also vote no, and I loooove surprises! I however don't put much stock in celebrating a milestone on the actual milestone date, and suggest instead either joining her at the end of her trip, or planning a separate trip. I think your intentions are good, but the delivery method - meh. I think you can do better than that. $2,200 can be spent on a much superior and well-thought out trip, where there are no work obligations.

I've had friends/SOs visit me while I'm traveling for work, and frankly it can be really tiring. Your SO has been waiting around for you all day! And you've been working all day! And now you're obligated to do fun stuff together because you only have a few hours before you have to go bed and wake up and do it all over again!

If it was less expensive/less of a grand gesture, (like you could go down for the weekend) then I would vote yes. As written it just feels a bit misguided, like you could be getting caught up in the act of doing a grand gesture, rather than thinking about the best way to celebrate your 10 years together... :)

Eric

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #16 on: June 12, 2015, 03:00:14 PM »
Can she tack a week on at the end of the trip where you could join her?  Then you would be able to spend time together.

This would be way better if you could swing it.

Sandy Beach

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #17 on: June 12, 2015, 04:14:34 PM »
If you do decide to go, it may be less expensive to fly into another city in Europe, then fly on Ryan Air, Easy Jet or any of the low cost European airlines (just watch out for their luggage fees) to Portugal.  We've done this a few times, not to Portugal, but to a less expensive city first, then on to our destination.  There are websites that have flight maps showing the cheaper cities, I'm drawing a blank and can't remember the one we used, it's bookmarked on my other computer.

I also agree with the other posters, I would discuss it with her first.

Congrats on the anniversary!

russianswinga

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #18 on: June 12, 2015, 04:46:23 PM »
Use google.com / flights, take a couple connections. I'm surprised your round trip is over $1000.
Check Aeroflot, due to the depressed rouble their flights are seriously cheap right now. You'll need to fly out of JFK, LAX, or Miami and connect in Moscow, double-backing on a 5 hour flight to Portugal. When I looked it up for Frankfurt, it was hundreds cheaper than a direct Lufthansa flight.

Here is a random flight JFK > LIS for $1067 or $1262 nonstop, this is in August which has the highest fares.
https://www.google.com/flights/#search;f=JFK,EWR,LGA;t=LIS;d=2015-08-07;r=2015-08-28

Play with Google Flights. Leave on a wednesday. You can fliy cheap, you just have to be creative to do it. Fly out of cheapest connection airports (SFO, Chicago, LAX, JFK). Connect at a cheap hub in Europe.

Check out low-cost airlines in Europe, WizzAir and Ryan Air, Air Baltic, they won't be listed on major flight aggregators, but you can get tickets to a hub airport then catch a low-cost.


EDIT: Just got your flight down to $1200 for 2 weeks mid-july after 5 minutes of searching. Google is your friend :)

https://www.google.com/flights/#search;f=CVG,DAY;t=LIS;d=2015-07-15;r=2015-07-29

« Last Edit: June 12, 2015, 04:51:59 PM by russianswinga »

Megma

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #19 on: June 12, 2015, 04:46:54 PM »
I don't think you should surprise her, however I just went to Portugal and only spent 1400 for my flight. July is peak season for Europe though. I also wouldn't go if you can't stay at least a week. It's not just the cost but the time and hassle of getting there.

madamwitty

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #20 on: June 12, 2015, 05:00:54 PM »
I would be seriously pissed if my DH surprised me with this kind of thing at a cost of $2200. Hopefully you know your wife well enough to know if she would like it.

My Dad once wanted to surprise my mom with a week long trip away with the whole family, but I knew that my mom wouldn't like that. She runs the household and a business, and has so many things going on my Dad can't even comprehend. I bargained him down to telling her there would be a trip 24 hrs ahead, but not where. Hopefully you are not as clueless about your wife.

ShaneD

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #21 on: June 12, 2015, 05:19:55 PM »
Ditto many above suggesting alternatives. The sentiment is awesome, but that's a lot of money to spend without discussion and during a situation that for her is pretty unknown. For example, you say she should be free in the evenings, but since the trip is school-related, that may not actually be true: she may have studying or research or other similar work she needs to do.

A large part of the experience for her will also be networking/bonding with the other people involved, which could help her both personally and professionally, and under what I'd guess will be intense/accelerated circumstances. If I were her, I'd feel like I was being put on the spot (however good the intentions) to have to mix and balance my work/education with my personal life without warning, which would make neither particularly enjoyable.

I'd say "Go for it" if she were away for a year, but over one month isn't very long, and honestly, as a woman, I wouldn't appreciate suddenly being put in a situation where my colleagues (whether correctly or not) might see me as less professional somehow. It's stupid, but women already have a tough enough time in STEM fields (see Tim Hunt and #distractinglysexy), so I wouldn't want to do anything that could distract her or impair her situation.

I say talk to her, make the surprise the whole idea in general, and let her decide when is the best time for you to travel for it.

ETA: And happy anniversary!
« Last Edit: June 12, 2015, 05:23:25 PM by ShaneD »

Zee Mustard

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #22 on: June 13, 2015, 06:03:42 AM »
Yeah, I'm with ShaneD and others.  This requires her to pull herself from one headspace to another very very fast.  Not to mention cuts her out of a fairly big financial and travel decision.  She may wish to use $2200 toward exploring more of Europe herself, she'll certainly be familiar with Portugal by that point. 

Not meaning to pile on because I think the sentiment is fantastic!  In the past I have "surprised" my husband with a trip by presenting him with a budget, timeline, itinerary, and destination pictures (using a pinterest board).  Then he can say "YES!" or "yes, but how about X."  He absolutely loved having someone else do all the planning.

I'm thinking that the best surprises are of the caretaking variety ("surprise!  I washed your car!").  Maybe when she comes home you can welcome her into a "Parisian brunch" and under her plate of french toast is a draft itinerary?  Or you email her the same on your anniversary, suggesting she extend her trip by a week? 

Tabaxus

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #23 on: June 14, 2015, 08:49:09 AM »
My spouse is an archaeologist. 1-2 months a year in the field.

At some point, spouse is insisting that I come to the country spouse works in for a few weeks before dig season, or a few weeks after dig season, because I've never been to the country, she really wants me to see it (I do want to see it... problem is that work doesn't really allow for "vacations" to places where I don't have 24/7 internet access), and we'd save money because spouse wouldn't need to buy plane tickets.

I would never, ever, ever  consider going during dig season.  Nothing good can come from it.  It is physically and mentally exhausting work and it just wouldn't be a great situation.  Plus, my being there would be distracting.

Definitely do not try to surprise her.  It is quite possible that she simply would not have the ability to break out to spend a single minute of time with you, depending on the dig.

Also, +1000 on the being seen as less professional point.  "She can't even go without her SO for [period of time]."  Archaeology (and academia) is a viscous, catty field about stuff like that.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2015, 11:02:48 AM by Tabaxus »

Katsplaying

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #24 on: June 14, 2015, 10:50:22 AM »
I vote with others on later trip planned together.

I just do not get that whole anniversary/birthday/holiday thing at all. These types of remembrances often mean everyone goes insane and expectations are sky-high and doomed for most. Unfortunately, since I don't care about my significant dates/anniversaries/b-days I often forget those of people I love and that is kind of awful for all of us (them sad/mad, me guilty). Even calendar/phone/etc alerts don't help if I never check.

Let your wife bury herself in her work and welcome her home with ideas for your next adventure together.

Novillero

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #25 on: June 14, 2015, 07:43:07 PM »
You may want to try traveling out of Newark, where there is a large Portuguese community.  My wife is Portuguese and we find the Portuguese airline called TAP is generally the cheapest.

It's a great country and I hope it works out for you.  I would check the area she will be in to make sure there is enough for you to do when the wife is working.

arebelspy

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #26 on: June 14, 2015, 08:19:34 PM »
I wouldn't do it as a surprise, but I would talk about it with her.

International travel is awesome though.

If your credit is decent, you can travel hack and get the flight free for signing up for a few cards (the wife and I are traveling to Europe this summer free).
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rugorak

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Re: To splurge or not to splurge on international travel?
« Reply #27 on: June 15, 2015, 12:08:55 PM »
I'd say no to a total surprise. It should be a surprise enough since you are talking about less than a month and I assume her trip has been planned for a while. But this way you can make the decision together. It may be that she expects to be drained after working all day and would rather you postpone until you both can enjoy. Or she may love the idea. But ultimately you know your spouse better than any of us. I know some couples that forget their anniversaries and don't really care about it. They do so many little things for each other that doing things on the actual day when they have other stuff going on in their lives doesn't really matter. I'm not saying they never celebrate, just that the day or week or whatever isn't as important as living the lives they want.