The waiting is the hardest part

[Xtal]

So in the past year since discovering MMM, I have seriously gotten my financial shit together.  My financial net worth has increased by about $40,000 in one year (it went from well into the negative to modestly positive).  I'm aggressively paying off my student loan, and my car loan is next; I expect to have both wiped out by June of this year.  I've played with Firecalc and I have a rough idea of when I'll be able to retire (it's about 7 years from now, god willing).

But here's the frustrating part; it just takes time.  The paychecks come in, twice a month.  The 401(k) gets its chunk.  I dole out money to the student loan people.  I wait, patiently, until the day my loans are paid off and I can start building up my cash investments.  I anticipate the time next year when I can change my 401(k) allocation to max it out.

And there's just... nothing to do.  Except wait, and patiently, ploddingly execute my plan. 

It's boring!!!

(It's a great problem to have, but still...)

[cbr shadow]

I agree - I think the hardest part is sticking to the plan and waiting.

Another area where this happens to me is with fitness/power lifting.  I'll get so motivated that I wish I could workout several times per day.  Keep that up and I get burnt out after a few months.  I think the way to make time go by more quickly is to give yourself a small amount of room to spend some money freely on things you enjoy.

It sounds like you really did a 180 turnaround so congrats for that!  Make sure you're still doing everyhting you can to be happy as well, since that's everyone's end-goal anyway.

So what are the main changes you made to turn yourself around like this?

[Honest Abe]

Yeah opening up Mint.com every day isn't exactly the most stimulating hobby, and I myself do this more often than I'd like to admit. I supposed what I/we should be doing is finding other things in life that we find gratifying and stimulating and rewarding ourselves with those activities in the meantime.

[Xtal]

So what are the main changes you made to turn yourself around like this?

It helps to marry somebody frugal!  I couldn't have gotten so far so fast without the influence of my born-frugal husband.  Here are some specific changes I've made:

1)  Bring lunch to work instead of buying lunch

2)  Work from home 2x/week (saves on gas, also no opportunity to spend on snacks, coffee, lunchtime shopping if stuck in the house all day)

3)  Use the library!!!  This is a big one.  I'm a voracious reader and I used to just buy books all the time.  I've saved hundreds of dollars by checking the library first.  I'm lucky to live in a place that has a tremendous library system; very seldom can I not find what I'm looking for

4)  Went to a cheaper Netflix plan

5)  Wax my legs at home.  DH helps.  This saves $80 each and every time.

6)  Recently started cutting my own hair.  Buy drugstore shampoo instead of the Aveda stuff.

7)  Started treating my debt as an emergency and aggressively paying it off.

8)  Cut way down on buying random "stuff."  Just because something is cute doesn't mean you need to buy it.

The biggest change is psychological.  In the past when I had "extra" money, I used to think about what I could buy with it.  Now I know that I can "buy" my eventual freedom.  I'm excited about saving in a way that I wasn't before -- "buying" investments is a super-exciting way to spend my money.

I think just being more conscious helps, too.  I don't have a lot of expenses, but it's easy to fritter away money if you're not paying attention.  I'm much more conscious of where my money goes, now.

[tooqk4u22]

Seconded.  That is why saving is so hard for people becauase there is no instant gratification that is so demanded and expected by people nowadays.  My wife was one of these people and I kept telling her trust me you look back years from now and appreciate paying off loans and saving/investing. 

Sure enough years later we able to relocate back home rather easily because finances weren't an issue and it wasn't dependent on both of us finding jobs (even in the best of times this hard to pull off cross country - although we did) and when we started having little tooqs she was able to be a SAHM and gave up a high income to do so.

And so the path continues - not FIRE but not stressed about money.  I would also caution that it actually becomes less boring as you get better - i.e. say you are able to save $25k a year - year 1 you go from $0 to $25K (holy shit that was awesome), year two you go from $25k to $50k (holy shit I doubled my net worth, that's awesome)....fast forward an now you have $500K and increase to $525k (eh, no big deal only increase 5%....although there will be investment returns too).  Sort fo the hedonistic adaptation of savings.

Keep it up.

[spider1204]

I've got the same problem myself, and originally tried to solve the problem by finding even more ways to save money and thus accelerate even further but after a certain point the increases become pretty minimal.  Now that the stashing is pretty much on autopilot, you probably just need a new goal to work on.  That was the most exciting part of this whole thing right?  The researching?  The planning?  The early results?

[chicagomeg]

I hear you. I get paid twice weekly and fiance gets paid bi monthly. Our paychecks have just fallen in line with each other and so keeping our finances on track has gotten extra boring. It sounds silly, but I enjoy having some little progress to make every week. Now it's lots of stuff every two weeks, at least for the next couple months. Meanwhile, I'm counting the days until the following exciting things happen:
-My first company match deposits to my 403(b), I was eligible as of last Friday's paycheck but they're slooowwwwww so the money's not there yet. Maybe tomorrow.
-Feb. 1, I get to pay off my private student loan!!!!!
-By March 30th we will be completely out of debt except my subsidized student loan, which is not accruing interest thanks to some gaming of the IBR system. I'm going back to school part time starting in the fall, so while I'm in school we'll save up enough to pay if off on graduation day.

I'm highly impatient. I literally check Mint first thing when I wake up every morning. I know the reward will be worth it in the end, but I want it to hurry up!

[arebelspy]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

I.e. right now you check Mint a lot (or whatever you do), update your net worth a lot, and constantly think and monitor.

Soon, it being on autopilot, you'll do it a little less, and a little less.  Then you'll have to remind yourself to update those things, because everything's running smoothly.

I still haven't checked my December spending or done an end of year analysis for 2012 to break down my spending by category.  It's on my to-do list, but doesn't seem that important. (Will it change anything I'm doing?  No.  It's mostly just for interest, and fun.) 

Before I'd have done it right away, near the beginning of the month.  I just haven't really thought of it.  And that's a good thing - the money dominates your thinking right now, but it'll fade, and you'll make progress, and then (I bet) before you know it you'll be only a year out from FIRE and debating one more year after that or not to build up a bigger buffer, and deciding how much you do/don't like your job, and trying to figure out all the changes post-FIRE, like healthcare.

TL;DR It seems slow now, because you're watching the tea kettle.  Once it fades into the background, it'll boil before you know it.

[Xtal]

Now that the stashing is pretty much on autopilot, you probably just need a new goal to work on.  That was the most exciting part of this whole thing right?  The researching?  The planning?  The early results?

Yes, this.  I had a lot of fun reading about investing in general, settling on a strategy, and then reading everything I could about that strategy.  However, the strategy I settled on is pretty boring once it's in place.  Nothing to do but just shovel the money in and (hopefully) watch it slowly grow.

Maybe I should start a business, or a blog, or something.

[Xtal]

TL;DR It seems slow now, because you're watching the tea kettle.  Once it fades into the background, it'll boil before you know it.

This is a great analogy, and makes a lot of sense.  Thanks!

[spider1204]

Well, you probably aren't excited to reach early retirement to sit on your ass all day, so maybe you can work on whatever you were excited about early retirement for.

Although, I suppose if something like long term travel or building a cabin in the woods is a goal it'll have to wait.

[Emerald]

I need an intervention.  I won't need to make ANY changes to my spreadsheets for a week, and I've already checked them several times today.  Help.

[chicagomeg]

I need an intervention.  I won't need to make ANY changes to my spreadsheets for a week, and I've already checked them several times today.  Help.

My google doc spreadsheet is the number one most visited site on the internet.

[madage]

My google doc spreadsheet is the number one most visited site on the internet.

I'm glad I'm not the only one...

[new2this]

I'm in the same situation as a lot of you. We've made the most progress financially since I found this blog (net worth has increased 10k since October). I have a cushy desk job, so mint gets opened more often than I'd like to admit, as well as my google docs. I think once our debt is completely gone, it will be even more addicting to watch my account balances grow.

[dragoncar]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

Eh, I've been doing this for three years and I still can't stand the wait.... and update that spreadsheet biweekly.

[cbr shadow]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

I.e. right now you check Mint a lot (or whatever you do), update your net worth a lot, and constantly think and monitor.

Soon, it being on autopilot, you'll do it a little less, and a little less.  Then you'll have to remind yourself to update those things, because everything's running smoothly.

I still haven't checked my December spending or done an end of year analysis for 2012 to break down my spending by category.  It's on my to-do list, but doesn't seem that important. (Will it change anything I'm doing?  No.  It's mostly just for interest, and fun.) 

Before I'd have done it right away, near the beginning of the month.  I just haven't really thought of it.  And that's a good thing - the money dominates your thinking right now, but it'll fade, and you'll make progress, and then (I bet) before you know it you'll be only a year out from FIRE and debating one more year after that or not to build up a bigger buffer, and deciding how much you do/don't like your job, and trying to figure out all the changes post-FIRE, like healthcare.

TL;DR It seems slow now, because you're watching the tea kettle.  Once it fades into the background, it'll boil before you know it.

Great post - thanks!

[arebelspy]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

Eh, I've been doing this for three years and I still can't stand the wait.... and update that spreadsheet biweekly.

Ah, that's unfortunate.

Yeah, my claim was probably overbroad.  It depends on how much you hate your job / current situation, I suppose.  If you are very unhappy and can't wait to get out, then you will continue thinking about it, and thus the wait still seems long.

[Platypus]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

I.e. right now you check Mint a lot (or whatever you do), update your net worth a lot, and constantly think and monitor.

Soon, it being on autopilot, you'll do it a little less, and a little less.  Then you'll have to remind yourself to update those things, because everything's running smoothly.

I still haven't checked my December spending or done an end of year analysis for 2012 to break down my spending by category.  It's on my to-do list, but doesn't seem that important. (Will it change anything I'm doing?  No.  It's mostly just for interest, and fun.) 

Before I'd have done it right away, near the beginning of the month.  I just haven't really thought of it.  And that's a good thing - the money dominates your thinking right now, but it'll fade, and you'll make progress, and then (I bet) before you know it you'll be only a year out from FIRE and debating one more year after that or not to build up a bigger buffer, and deciding how much you do/don't like your job, and trying to figure out all the changes post-FIRE, like healthcare.

TL;DR It seems slow now, because you're watching the tea kettle.  Once it fades into the background, it'll boil before you know it.

Very encouraging post! :)

I'm definitely in the checking-Mint-several-times-a-day phase, 'cause I feel like it helps keeps me on track right now. I feel like checking mint keeps my financial goals right in front of my face every few hours. I'm buying into this MMM lifestyle gradually, but I'm not on autopilot yet. (Moving houses this month lead to a few too many meals out and purchases of misc household goods we weren't anticipating. Food budget already exceeded for the month, ugh.)

The waiting is difficult.

[forward]

You will get to the point where the waiting isn't so bad, because you aren't thinking about it as much.

Eh, I've been doing this for three years and I still can't stand the wait.... and update that spreadsheet biweekly.

I'm only about 3 months in on what I believe is a 7-8 year journey.  I check all the time.  I will say its helpful when I am having a month like this when a few unexpected expenses creep up, then I start pushing myself to keep every possible dollar going into investments.  I also have a tendency to obsess over a project for a few months then drop it.  So I definitely need to form the mustachian habits and keep them going whether or not I am bored or charting things incessantly.  I guess its vaguely related to MMM post for today about habit forming.

[TomTX]

And there's just... nothing to do.  Except wait, and patiently, ploddingly execute my plan. 

It's boring!!!

(It's a great problem to have, but still...)

Figure out a hobby that can make you some side-money or other benefit while being fun. Buy and sell on Craigslist. Learn how to repair bikes. Get a realtor license, volunteer at Habitat for Humanity to get your home-skills up, then start buying fixer-uppers to rehab and rent out and/or flip...

[dragoncar]

By the way, checking keeps me on track and gives me reasons not to spend frivolously. So it's not all misery.

[Guitarguy]

Find some hobbies that don't cost money. (Laugh!) In all seriousness: Do you like music? Youtube some singing lessons, find an old guitar that someone is giving away, ect.

By the way, you could always spend your free time figuring out how to get there faster. That's what I do. Instead of sitting around, my wife and I picked up some side jobs such as freelance writing. All of these $50-a-day-things add up pretty quickly if you make a habit of doing them regularly.

BUT - I think what's really going on here is that you're finally seeing the big picture, sort of like a hamster that just realized it was running on the wheel.

This waiting can tend to feel like "going through the motions" just to get to retirement. For me it had a lot to do with having a job that wasn't challenging or I didn't feel like I was contributing anything to anyone. I would suggest  doing some deep thinking about what you really want to get out of life and give back. My wife and I were tossing around the idea of starting a mustachian missionary non-profit and using that vehicle to travel around the world and do volunteer work when we're done.

Keep in mind, there is something to be said for this "boringness." I'd suggest reading some eastern philosophy on keeping a quiet mind and sound body if you haven't gone through any of that yet. Better yet, practice some stoicism and imagine how crazy life would be if you weren't doing this, and you'll feel much more grateful afterwards.

My wife and I were actually just talking about this yesterday. I'm less than a year out of school and she's still got one to go on her Grad degree, but we're both young and have very little savings. One year ago we would have been looking at our credit card debt from christmas and realizing it would take until July to pay it off. Now that we've been MMM's since then we're so grateful for the peace that comes with saving the surplus instead.

If this is at all related to job satisfaction, why not just ask if you laterally transfer to a different position that you might get more enjoyment out of and then state your case why they should let you?

[marty998]

Yeah I agree it's incredibly frustrating waiting for pay day.

For me its pay day today (actually I get the funds the evening before which is nice). I can pretty much organise my financials and pay my bills within half an hour, which leaves 335.5 hours of waiting to grow the stache some more.

And yet I can't stop staring at my little graphs and charts...net worth ticked silently over a big round number today, without so much as a peep.

One of these days Avanco Resources will hit pay dirt (ASX: AVB). Hopefully will cut a few years off the wait.

[dragoncar]

...net worth ticked silently over a big round number today, without so much as a peep.

We need a system that sets off alarm bells an balloon drops for each milestone

[arebelspy]

                      

YAY marty998!

[wakkowarner]

Essentially you are freeing yourself of the chains that kept you tied down.  As these chains become looser, you have to figure out for yourself where you want to go.

Just live life.  Enjoy.

[happy]

LOL @ ARS

[turtlefield76]

Here's my 2 cents:  MMM talks a lot about frugality being a muscle and I think the same can be said for curiosity and creativity.  Treat building up your curiosity and creativity the same way you tackled your FI plan. 

[marty998]

Lol thankyou arebelspy. Each 100k gets easier than the last.

Here's my 2 cents:  MMM talks a lot about frugality being a muscle and I think the same can be said for curiosity and creativity.  Treat building up your curiosity and creativity the same way you tackled your FI plan. 

That's a really good post. I am so single bloody minded about FI these days that I've neglected other parts of life. Not in a bad way. I'm not obsessed with money, I'm more obsessed with getting to a position where I don't have to work. But the mental focus detracts at times from other creative and fun pursuits.

[Doubleh]

Welcome to the good kind of problem - as nobody else has mentioned it I'm going to ask if you've read MMM's post about the feeling of becoming rich yet? Sorry can't post a link as I'm on my phone.

I agree with everyone saying that it does get less exciting once you've got everything running smoothly. You can always spice it up by setting mini goals, eg every 10k or 25k increase in net worth, and celebrating these in a frugal way of course.

Really though the thing to do is to take up another project to focus on, then before you know it FI will be waiting for you. Ideally this will be something that gets you closr to FI, or for your reason for wanting FI. So I want to be able to travel long term and that isn't something feasible whilst I'm building my stache, but I could still learn languages and work on other self reliance skills that will help.

In fact we decided to start a small person as a project, and are expecting our first daughter in 3 months time. Ok, FI will get pushed back a few months but the prospect of being free to enjoy her childhood is a powerful motivator and I can't think of anything else that will make the next three years pass so quickly!

Lastly one technique I find helpful is to visualise myself in the future looking back at me today and knowing it was all worthwhile. Not right when I become FI, as that makes me just be impatient to have it now. Instead I think of me, 5 or 10 years on from FI looking back at all the grat memories I got since buying my freedom. From that perspective the hurt of waiting that I feel so strongly now is no more than a bad dream, only half remembered.

[DoubleDown]

1. It's the journey, not the destination. Find enjoyment in every moment, not the point in the future where you see your accounts growing to giant amounts. Sure, it will be great when you're FI, but whatever you envision doing then, start doing now on a smaller scale! And take encouragement that your journey will be a great one, much better than the alternative of consumerist spending/debt.

2. Another old saying: A journey of 1000 miles starts with a single step. That first step you take is as important as the last one or any other step in between.

3. Check your accounts every 10 secs. like the rest of us :-)

[bigchrisb]

I've been in the check multiple times a day camp for some years now.  Sadly, it hasn't faded into the background or autopilot, even though I'm making good progress, and not far off FI.  It often seems a bit like an addiction/compulsion, and I suspect I'd actually be much happier if I did just update it once a month! 

I guess like most behavioral change, its pretty tough to implement.

[sol]

The recent bull market has been too kind to my account balances.  If I check every day, some days I'd be up over a thousand dollars and that just blows my mind.

[bigchrisb]

The recent bull market has been too kind to my account balances.  If I check every day, some days I'd be up over a thousand dollars and that just blows my mind.

Agreed - with me being highly leveraged to stocks, I've had days of +/-$10,000.  I've come to realize that some of the best bits of my holidays are not having internet, and not checking my finances for a few weeks. 

Maybe we need to start up an "updaters anonymous"?

[wakkowarner]

The recent bull market has been too kind to my account balances.  If I check every day, some days I'd be up over a thousand dollars and that just blows my mind.

Yeah, I feel like I should sell.  And then invest in something currently undervalued.  But for the most part I've been sticking with various indexes.  I'm trying NOT to time the market though, so I guess I'll just stick with my regularly scheduled investments.

[rdy4er]

I'm a FIRECalc junkie. I'm so desperate to get out, I try a new "what if" scenario a few times a day. I do love to see the progress, but it is painfully slow.

[DocCyane]

I love how honest this thread is. We all want out and it's difficult not to stare st those charts and graphs looking for one more trick to getting there faster.

[Kraig]

I do the same thing. I checked Mint.com and the financial markets several times a day. I too try to look for that one more trick I can do to get there faster. I also go back and forth as if I'm OCD about whether or not to sell me $10,000 car and buy a beater just so I can get there 6 months sooner. I think I may be crazy but it's nice to know that I'm not alone.

[Phoebe]

I agree - the wait is so hard!! I keep thinking that when I hit a certain point I'll suddendly feel free and it turns out it's just more of the same.  Last week our stache hit $300K and I forgot to tell my husband until we were about to go to bed and it was simply "oh hey, we hit $300K today."  "oh good."

Just a blip on the radar.  But you know what?  I think plenty of people would think that was an amazing accomplishment - but us mustachians know that it's just a step in a long journey.

[savingtofreedom]

Agreed.  The wait is the worst because it means I still need to work!  I have realized over the years I don't like working and never will.  I am lucky I have a good job (for now - may be gone next year).  Trying to convince the husband the more we save now the easier it will be in the future.

[dragoncar]

I agree - the wait is so hard!! I keep thinking that when I hit a certain point I'll suddendly feel free and it turns out it's just more of the same.  Last week our stache hit $300K and I forgot to tell my husband until we were about to go to bed and it was simply "oh hey, we hit $300K today."  "oh good."

Just a blip on the radar.  But you know what?  I think plenty of people would think that was an amazing accomplishment - but us mustachians know that it's just a step in a long journey.

                      

YAY Phoebe!

(Hat tip to arebelspy)

[arebelspy]

In honor of Phoebe and marty's accomplishments, I started a mini-celebrations thread here: https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/celebrations-thread/

[MMMdude]

Definitely agree with this post.  I've lived LBYM well before getting into MMM lifestyle.  Have saved a considerable amount so far, but even still, I think I am about 10 years away from being fully financial independent.  It just seems so far away!

[marty998]

Haha Phoebe mine was 300 too. But I think your rate of growth is much quicker than mine - it's the power of double income.

[Phoebe]

Thanks for the celebration guys!!!

[PolarBeer]

To the original poster: If its only been one year since you started making changes, its no wonder that you still obsess a bit. Don't worry, you will "settle" after a while. How long it takes depends on the person and how "intense" you are about new interests.

I was semi-mustachian before I discovered MMM, but in these last months I've still been making a ton of adjustments and I find myself still tweaking (and I have a couple of major changes that need to be made still). I have however noticed that I have relaxed somewhat. Not as in slacking but as in not obsessing with checking my accounts daily. I am the type that tends to dive into something 110% if there is a spark of curiosity. I also tend to burn out faster, but I have learned that semi obsession is a good thing and that a ton of stuff can be learned in that time, so use it well. I have started to find enjoyment in doing the monthly spreadsheet on everything I spend, and I look forward to that, but I don't obsess so much about checking everything daily anymore.

And if you feel like challenging yourself, post something detailed about your current situation (if you haven't already) and I'm sure there can still be dealt some rewarding punches. :D

[C40]

If you're bored now during your time outside of work - just imagine how much more bored you'll be if you retire.

There's plenty to do now. Over at the earlyretirementextreme.com forums (and blog) there is often discussion on building a wide variety of skills. There are two benefits:
1 - reduce your expenses and provide more opportunities to make more money and
2 - it is fun and as challenging as you want it to be.

Some examples:
- Hobbies that are free, or low cost, or that make you money
- Hobbies that will reduce your expenses (getting good at cooking - being able to cook meals you enjoy with some cheap staples and whatever is currently on sale at the store)
- Skills that can help make money (Home repair is a good example - discussed often at MMM and also www.lackingambition.com/  -- don't let the name deceive you)
- Building a strong social network where you live. This can reduce your expenses (need a chainsaw for one day? Borrow one from your friend/neighbor) and be a source of enjoyment (it can be fun to go help a friend with your expertise or time)

[Tyler]

I'm also a Mint junkie, and have struggled at times with the knowledge that I'm not FI just yet - it's easy to get trapped in the future fantasy that makes the current reality seem pretty crappy at times. 

For me, the key has been being proactive in making real changes right now rather than spending so much time analyzing what the spreadsheet says could be possible in the future.  Cut the cable today.  Look for a job you'll enjoy while building your stache, and send them your resume.  For those closer to their goal, move to the place you want to be long-term (rather than saying "I'll save now and do it later") so that you can know your real expenses and not your projected guesses.  Downshift your day job so that you have more time to engage in hobbies and learn new things. 

Keep an eye towards the future but your head in maximizing the present, and the journey will be that much more enjoyable (and probably shorter than you thought when you started).

[lauren_knows]

I agree - the wait is so hard!! I keep thinking that when I hit a certain point I'll suddendly feel free and it turns out it's just more of the same.  Last week our stache hit $300K and I forgot to tell my husband until we were about to go to bed and it was simply "oh hey, we hit $300K today."  "oh good."

Just a blip on the radar.  But you know what?  I think plenty of people would think that was an amazing accomplishment - but us mustachians know that it's just a step in a long journey.

I had a somewhat similar experience yesterday, and remembered this thread.  I asked my wife what her 401k balance was, so I could plug it into my forecasting spreadsheet.  She gave me the balance and this is the conversation that transpired:

Wife: "So, why'd you ask for my 401k balance earlier?"
Me:   "Oh, I have this spreadsheet that I use to track and forecast how we're doing with savings and retirement."
Wife: "Well, how are we doing?"
Me:   "Pretty damn good.  If we wanted, we could both feasibly go part-time in a few years to spend more time with our kids growing up. If that's something we want."
Wife: "Really?"
Me:   "Yeah, I don't think you quite realize how much we're saving..."
Wife: "Guess not."

Then she went back to cooking dinner.  She's naturally pretty frugal, and somewhat oblivious to our savings rate.  It's funny.