The things people say...that irk you

[Juslookin]

I shocked by the amount of annoying things people say! 
I have only a few to contribute:

1. When people start an answer with SO.
2. The word AMAZING
3. Using "like" continuously (my niece does this- makes me crazy)
4. Seriously?!??! Also after every sentence. Sometimes at the beginning of a sentence.
5. Honestly?!? (same tone as above- sort of valley girl)
6. ebonics (all of it and all the other made up slang- know I mean? (Trevor Noah does a bit on this in one of his specials)
7. public speakers who use: like, um, and um, uhhh, I mean,  etc.
8. "realtor" spoken as real-a-tor (by ACTUAL realtors! ) Ugh.
9. "I mean, right?"  (huh?)
10.  dude, bro, brah
11. for realz? (anything misspelled on purpose with other letters added - lately lots of "z's") lolz, haz cheeseburger, etc.
12. hoon
13. righteous, dude
14. all the stupid abbreviations- "what evs"
15. "mind blown" and the accompanying hand gesture- (sofa-king stupid.)
16. Not spoken as much as written- all the internet/text acronyms (WTF?= why the face?- Phil Dunphy on Modern Family) LOL= Lots of love - my mom (when she sent a text condolence to someone who had recently lost a family member) -- That one cracks me up every time. Yes, I'm evil.

 
I'm sure I could go on and on but, this is what I have thus far.

I read the entire thread looking for seriously, and all I kept thinking was, "Seriously, how has no one mentioned seriously?!" ha!

[thurston howell iv]

I just remembered catching a clip of an episode of "The Office" (American version). The young guy corrects Dwight (Rainn Wilson's character) explaining that it's Fringe Benefits and not French Benefits (Not sure why but,  that made me laugh).

[AmandaS1989]

+1 for your username

[bacchi]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Bravo! I often use malapropisms in conversation for fun. You've given me many more to use.

[FLA]

Blue Cross/Blue Shield of NC's current slogan is "Live Fearless," and every time I see one of their ads, I mentally change it to "fearlessly."

Adults (patients at work, usually) who use words like "potty," "tinkle," etc.

that build board would drive me nuts

+1 and I hate when healthcare workers call Attends "diapers", how about maintaining some patient dignity? 

[bsmith]

"I'm weary of that" when they mean that they are leery of it.

"He smells musty" when they mean he smells musky.

"I'm flustrated" when they mean frustrated.

[Dollar Slice]

"I'm weary of that" when they mean that they are leery of it.

I always thought 'weary' was a misspelling/mishearing of 'wary.' But now that you say that, I realize that wary and leery are very similar in meaning, and "weary" is a perfect amalgamation of the spelling of those two words...

[nobodyspecial]

"I'm weary of that" when they mean that they are leery of it.

I always thought 'weary' was a misspelling/mishearing of 'wary.' But now that you say that, I realize that wary and leery are very similar in meaning, and "weary" is a perfect amalgamation of the spelling of those two words...

Perhaps they are also weary of it?

[bsmith]

"That situation is so fraught."

Fraught with WHAT? I'm on the edge of my seat wondering.

[tofuchampion]

"I'm weary of that" when they mean that they are leery of it.

I always thought 'weary' was a misspelling/mishearing of 'wary.'

So did I! It could go either way, I guess.

My husband used to call a padlock a "paddle lock.". No idea where that came from.

[AlwaysLearningToSave]

Most forms of comparison in advertising:

"25% fewer calories!" 
Than what?  Your equivalent non-diet product?  Your competitor's product?

"33% more!"
Than what?  A previous packaging size that's not even available anymore? 

"50% off!"
Of what?  The "full" price that no one ever pays?

Etc...

[iwasjustwondering]

I just remembered catching a clip of an episode of "The Office" (American version). The young guy corrects Dwight (Rainn Wilson's character) explaining that it's Fringe Benefits and not French Benefits (Not sure why but,  that made me laugh).

LOL.  I used to work with a guy who had the most awesome malapropisms.  The classic was when he referred to the current governor of New York as Mario Cuomo.  OK, it's a mistake you could make, except that my coworker worked in public policy. It was literally his job to get these things right. 

So I emailed him back and said, I think you mean Andrew Cuomo, Mario's son, who is now the current governor.  He emailed me back and said, "Oops!  I guess it was a fraudulent slip."  LOLOL.  He just couldn't get anything right.  Total asshole, too. 

[Dee]

Another good one on the The Office (American) is where Micheal insists that they color greens and not collard greens because (condescendingly) don't you know green is a color?

[Bendigirl]

You have to think "outside the box".  I would like to think that when you ponder something that your thoughts are not confined.  It is also very overused!

this is something I had to look up.  It drives me crazy when people say it happened ON accident.  After I researched this I found that the younger generation (35 and under) use this and it is a normal term.  It makes this older lady cringe every single time.  I say it happened by accident.  My very well educated son said this the other day and I just glared at him.  It sounds so very wrong to me.

[tallen]

It drives me crazy when people say it happened ON accident.  My very well educated son said this the other day and I just glared at him.  It sounds so very wrong to me.

I'm sure he just said it on accident and didn't mean to upset you ;)

[shelivesthedream]

You have to think "outside the box".  I would like to think that when you ponder something that your thoughts are not confined.  It is also very overused!

this is something I had to look up.  It drives me crazy when people say it happened ON accident.  After I researched this I found that the younger generation (35 and under) use this and it is a normal term.  It makes this older lady cringe every single time.  I say it happened by accident.  My very well educated son said this the other day and I just glared at him.  It sounds so very wrong to me.

Where's the logic there? Is it that it's "on purpose" so it must be "on accident"?

I suspect that some of these things are originated and perpetuated by television shows. (E.g. "Myself" and The Apprentice) - either by idiots or as a joke.

[dalegendman]

Hyperboles.

No, this isn't the "coolest thing you've ever seen." it's a mildly interesting Internet time-waster that you'll talk about for ten minutes until a slightly more interesting Internet time-waster comes along.

No, this isn't the "worst thing ever," your life isn't over, it's a tiny speed bump on the gold-and-diamond-paved road that is your life that you won't even remember in a week.

[oatsmagoats]

Just reading this thread makes me uncomfortable.  One for me is "Anyways..."

[thurston howell iv]

I just remembered catching a clip of an episode of "The Office" (American version). The young guy corrects Dwight (Rainn Wilson's character) explaining that it's Fringe Benefits and not French Benefits (Not sure why but,  that made me laugh).

LOL.  I used to work with a guy who had the most awesome malapropisms.  The classic was when he referred to the current governor of New York as Mario Cuomo.  OK, it's a mistake you could make, except that my coworker worked in public policy. It was literally his job to get these things right. 

So I emailed him back and said, I think you mean Andrew Cuomo, Mario's son, who is now the current governor.  He emailed me back and said, "Oops!  I guess it was a fraudulent slip."  LOLOL.  He just couldn't get anything right.  Total asshole, too.

Fraudulent Slip!  I love it. I need to use that one. haha

BTW, is it only me or is it weird that most of the country stands IN line while New Yorker's (and I'll guess a few other north easterners) stand ON line? 


Also, thought of something else that Irks me. The use of " Artisanal" for everything.... Apparently, I'm not the only one because David Rees from National Geographic's "Going Deep" series started an Artisanal Pencil Sharpening Company. http://www.artisanalpencilsharpening.com/  (enjoy!)

[MandalayVA]

Just reading this thread makes me uncomfortable.  One for me is "Anyways..."

Along with its bastard sibling "anyhoo," which I hear WAY too much these days.

[yuka]

You have to think "outside the box".  I would like to think that when you ponder something that your thoughts are not confined.  It is also very overused!

this is something I had to look up.  It drives me crazy when people say it happened ON accident.  After I researched this I found that the younger generation (35 and under) use this and it is a normal term.  It makes this older lady cringe every single time.  I say it happened by accident.  My very well educated son said this the other day and I just glared at him.  It sounds so very wrong to me.

Where's the logic there? Is it that it's "on purpose" so it must be "on accident"?

I suspect that some of these things are originated and perpetuated by television shows. (E.g. "Myself" and The Apprentice) - either by idiots or as a joke.

"On accident" is terrible, and I think you're right that it follows from "on purpose". Interestingly, after "on purpose" spawned "on accident", it devolved into "purposely", in which we take a noun and beat it into adverbial submission. This is made worse by the fact that the perfectly good "deliberately" is already available.

[NoraLenderbee]

Most forms of comparison in advertising:

"25% fewer calories!" 
Than what?  Your equivalent non-diet product?  Your competitor's product?

"33% more!"
Than what?  A previous packaging size that's not even available anymore? 

"50% off!"
Of what?  The "full" price that no one ever pays?

Etc...

We have a 16-ounce bottle of sunscreen. On the label in big letters, it says, "100% MORE!!!"

In small letters: "than the standard 8-ounce container."

[bsmith]

Hyperboles.

No, this isn't the "coolest thing you've ever seen." it's a mildly interesting Internet time-waster that you'll talk about for ten minutes until a slightly more interesting Internet time-waster comes along.

No, this isn't the "worst thing ever," your life isn't over, it's a tiny speed bump on the gold-and-diamond-paved road that is your life that you won't even remember in a week.

Tiny Details Exaggeration Syndrome. We hates it.

[rocketpj]

I used to have a boss that could string meaningless buzzwords into a 5 minute monologue.  A couple of us called it 'squid ink' as she would launch one whenever somebody asked a question she didn't want or know how to answer.

"Learnings" - there is a special place in hell for people who use this atrocity.

I did a Masters in Political Science which focused on political psychology and opinion formation.  So I am now completely unable to read any of the major newspapers or watch television news, because it all feels like manipulation to me (pro tip - it is manipulation).  Ditto about 95% of what any politicians say, especially in the context of a political campaign (we just had one here in Canada).

[Dee]

Oh, and thanks, kpd905, for the really fun post. I especially liked my mother's mating name.

[Sojourner]

"Socialize"

"Bob, I will socialize your concern up the chain and see if anything can be done."

Use is spreading quickly around the organization lately.

[Sojourner]

I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.

Classic.  Bravo.

[Kris]

"Socialize"

"Bob, I will socialize your concern up the chain and see if anything can be done."

Use is spreading quickly around the organization lately.

Ugh, I've never heard that.

Makes me want to never leave the house again out of fear that I will encounter it.

[RysChristensen]

Ath-uh-lete (Athlete)
HARRIS-ment (noooooooooooo!) and I finally heard a tv character say "HARRISed", so I guess I can look forward to that devolving as well...

[bsmith]

Ma-toor instead of ma-choor. Sounds pretentious.

[shelivesthedream]

Ma-toor instead of ma-choor. Sounds pretentious.

For what?

[Schaefer Light]

Ma-toor instead of ma-choor. Sounds pretentious.

Or ama-toor istead of ama-choor.

[RunHappy]

"I won't consider...."
"...not even an option"
"hate with every fiber of my being"
"completely out of the question"

I can understand if these were in response to being asked to smuggle drugs or something illegal or morally objectionable, but they are usually it is in response to things like minivans, renting instead of buying (esp when you can't afford), cutting down on Starbucks, etc.

[HazelStone]

When getting home from working late and greeting my (retired/disabled) neighbors sitting in the courtyard:  "You've only got about 30-40 more years of this to go, hahaha!"

I don't know how to respond other than to smile awkwardly.

Tell them with an eat-shit grin "You only have 5 or 10 years to go!"

[Rollin]

"Veggie," by anyone over seven years old.

I'm not even sure I have heard the word that is supposed to replace it in the last six months!

My addition is "at the end of the day", and my kids and their friends using "like."

[HazelStone]

I had a boss that referred to a problem middle-aged men get as "prostrate" problems. No, you fall prostrate before the Lord (to use an example familiar to him). The reason your friend has to go to the urologist is prostate problems.

[runningthroughFIRE]

I had a boss that referred to a problem middle-aged men get as "prostrate" problems. No, you fall prostrate before the Lord (to use an example familiar to him). The reason your friend has to go to the urologist is prostate problems.

I saw something similar posted to my facebook the other day.  It was a picture of a sign that said "Shoplifters will be prostituted".

[Kris]

"Advanced notice."

And while we're at it, often "advance notice" or "advance warning" is kind of weird, as well.  I mean, notice of something that is going to happen is pretty much always given in advance, yes? But at least that is only (arguably) repetitive. 

[dunny]

"Are we good?"  after pissing somebody off
Not pronouncing the "you" sounds in news, opportunity, and many more, as in "nooz" for "opportoonity"
"chase lounge" for "chaise longue"
Misuse of "which" and "that"  "Which" is properly used for a descriptive clause.  "That" is used for a restrictive clause.
"snuck" instead of "sneaked"
"real" instead of "very" as in "I'm real hungry."
"I'm more laid back than you are." to discount one for mentioning something that could go wrong, implying that one is "anal".  Also used to invalidate somebody who is enthusiastic about his or her topic.
The phrase "laid back" in general.  To me it is the opposite of "badass", which is not a good thing.
Speaking of a house having "views" instead of "a view"
"artesian" for "artisanal"
"anal" as a general put down for anyone who is well organized.
"I am a big picture person" as an excuse for not being able to execute a plan.
"I was/she was/they were traumatized."  referring to a small incident or events that happened to other people, in particular complete strangers.  Nowadays everyone as PTSD.
"I don't research, I analyze" implying that the speaker's job is more important and research is "anal"
"infer" for "imply"  "To imply" is to hint at something, but "to infer" is to make an educated guess. The speaker does the implying, and the listener does the inferring.
"gravatas"
"Firstly/Secondly/Most importantly…" instead of "First/Second/Most important…" 
Using my name frequently in introductions or general conversation.  It feels patronizing.  If said by a salesperson, I don't want to buy.
Being addressed as "young lady" by men, often younger than me. 
"Can I put you on pause" (rude)
"Too much information" (rude)
Making a "T" sign with hands to stop the flow of conversation, especially if someone is passionate about their topic.
"fer" for "for", "yer" for "your"
Any mention of what a person cannot eat or what diet program they are on or the food likes and dislikes of themselves, their children, their spouse.
"Relax." "You worry too much." "Everything will turn out fine." as a put down for making a simple plan.
"senior citizen"
My all time favourite:  "intrical" for "integral"

[UnleashHell]

People trying to imitate my accent. I was born in England and lived there for 30 years. I have an English accent (don’t even get started on the regional varieties of that). Now I live in Florida its becomes a reason for people to talk to me (really, you think I want to engage in conversation because you recognize an English accent and you went to England for 3 day 30 years ago?) but it gets worst.
People seem to think that’s it’s totally acceptable to imitate my accent to my face and pretend they sound English. You don’t. You never will. You now sound like the bastard child of Dick Van Dyke and he spoke with the English accent of a dysfunctional oyster. I’m not impressed, your friends aren’t impressed not even your mother would be impressed. You sound stupid and what you have done is incredibly rude.
Would you do that to someone with a Japanese accent? Or a German accent? Or a Jamaican accent? Of course you would! So what the fuck makes you think that the rules change for an English accent?

I have a woman at work who does this to me and no matter how many times I tell her to stop all she does is go away and practice some more and try again. Lovely person but this is a serious flaw in her character. And no – I will not attempt an American accent because I don’t want to embarrass myself or anyone around me.

Oh and Herb – has 4 letters. Use them all!!

[tofuchampion]

I sometimes hear people refer to laser eye surgery as "Lasix." No, Lasix is a strong diuretic that will have you peeing every 20 minutes. Lasik is the eye surgery.

I hate people adding an S to store names. It's Aldi, not Aldi's. Belk, not Belk's. This might be a southern thing.

[zephyr911]

"irregardless" (regardless, or irrespective)
"de-thaw" or "un-thaw" (what, you're going to freeze it again?)
"for all intensive purposes" (for all intents and purposes)

Un-loosen xD

[zephyr911]

"bleeding edge"

I understand what they're saying, but as a metaphor...the bleeding edge is the wrong edge to be on.

That phrase is an intentional play on "leading edge", a joke about the pitfalls of emerging technology.
Unless, of course, you're hearing it used by the uninitiate with no sense of irony. (Kill them)

I saw something similar posted to my facebook the other day.  It was a picture of a sign that said "Shoplifters will be prostituted".

This too sounds intentional, and hilarious if you ask me.

People trying to imitate my accent (etc)

You sound really angry about a lot of basic human behavior. Have you considered the possibility that you just don't like... people?

[sixup]

4. Seriously?!??!
5. Honestly?!?
9. "I mean, right?"
11. for realz?

With all of these on your list, I'm surprised you left off 'Really??'  My brother and a good friend both picked that up while they were living in California in the 2000s and now my mom has picked it up from my brother and uses it constantly.

"Really" isn't a punchline: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUJFuRoWyW

[Dollar Slice]

Not pronouncing the "you" sounds in news, opportunity, and many more, as in "nooz" for "opportoonity"

This must be a regional thing because I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything but "nooz" or "opportoonity" unless I was in a foreign country.

"I'm more laid back than you are." to discount one for mentioning something that could go wrong, implying that one is "anal". 

"anal" as a general put down for anyone who is well organized.

"I don't research, I analyze" implying that the speaker's job is more important and research is "anal"

I'm starting to get the idea that you have some ongoing issues with some co-workers ;-)

[UnleashHell]

People trying to imitate my accent (etc)

You sound really angry about a lot of basic human behavior. Have you considered the possibility that you just don't like... people?

Nope. not true.
I haven't met most of them :D

[Dollar Slice]

People trying to imitate my accent. I was born in England and lived there for 30 years. I have an English accent (don’t even get started on the regional varieties of that). Now I live in Florida its becomes a reason for people to talk to me (really, you think I want to engage in conversation because you recognize an English accent and you went to England for 3 day 30 years ago?) but it gets worst.

I'm American but spent a year in the UK a few years back. I remember a friend of mine (a woman who was about 19 at the time) and all of her British friends were going on about how well she could do an American accent. So of course I asked to hear it... and she sounded basically like she was trying to be John Wayne. It was so bizarre!

[zephyr911]

Nope. not true.
I haven't met most of them :D

You and BeardedMan should get together...

[runningthroughFIRE]

"bleeding edge"

I understand what they're saying, but as a metaphor...the bleeding edge is the wrong edge to be on.

That phrase is an intentional play on "leading edge", a joke about the pitfalls of emerging technology.
Unless, of course, you're hearing it used by the uninitiate with no sense of irony. (Kill them)

I saw something similar posted to my facebook the other day.  It was a picture of a sign that said "Shoplifters will be prostituted".

This too sounds intentional, and hilarious if you ask me.

People trying to imitate my accent (etc)

You sound really angry about a lot of basic human behavior. Have you considered the possibility that you just don't like... people?

They might not have been on the bleeding edge before...but they are now. *holds up severed head of coworker*

[UnleashHell]

People trying to imitate my accent. I was born in England and lived there for 30 years. I have an English accent (don’t even get started on the regional varieties of that). Now I live in Florida its becomes a reason for people to talk to me (really, you think I want to engage in conversation because you recognize an English accent and you went to England for 3 day 30 years ago?) but it gets worst.

I'm American but spent a year in the UK a few years back. I remember a friend of mine (a woman who was about 19 at the time) and all of her British friends were going on about how well she could do an American accent. So of course I asked to hear it... and she sounded basically like she was trying to be John Wayne. It was so bizarre!

Exactly - I wouldn't dream of doing it? Whats their game plan here?

I don't get it.  I understand people commenting on it if its unusual for the area you live in (annoying though it can be I do understand and am pretty good about it) but to try to imitate it? I don't understand  people.