I'm so glad someone finally mentioned the Mazda5! We have 3 kids, and can fit one more in there. It gets decent mileage (compared to our former 2-door Civic which I still miss), and it's much smaller and easier to drive than standard minivans or SUVs. I really dislike driving large cars. I fail to see how someone with 2 young kids (like, pre-school) needs something bigger than our old Honda Civic (yes, I had two carseats in there, no I never removed the enormous annoying buckets, I just carried my kid), or at most some normal kind of 4 door sedan. And with 3-4, I haven't seen any car that I would like better than our Mazda5. Except for those crazy family bikes, of course =).
So, I fall into the SUVs are useless camp. The small ones all seat fewer people than our car. I don't like big cars, I don't like wasting gas, I don't like spending crazy amounts of money on something I'm trying to use as little as possible, and I think compared to the car I've chosen, the safety thing is pretty even. The best thing to do is to drive less, and drive during off-peak times. We did our best to live within walking distance (less than 1.5 miles) of most of the things we do (ballet, swimming, library, schools, church), so except for groceries we have very little driving to do.