I've had this conversation with various people throughout the last few years (even before discovering this site and knowing FI/RE was a "thing"). The conversation that always stuck out to me most of all was with my mother, who is a teacher. She teaches in a suburb of Boston and is in her early 60s. Growing up, she was a SAHM and we were solid middle class. Parents drove old cars, kids wore hand me downs, and we ate on-sale food at home. The Gap was a fancy store to me and we never shopped there. Now that the kids are grown up, the parents treat themselves more (dinners out, fancy vacations), but have a more than hearty retirement fund.
Anyway, in a rather surprising reversal, she was talking about how hard it was for the younger teachers (largely female, of course) to "get by" on their salaries. I'll grant that housing prices are astronomical in that area and many other consumer goods are more expensive than in the 80s/90s. But those teachers make a solid salary (prob high 50s-60s, depending on experience/edu) and can't get by? I asked what sorts of cars they drove (late model SUVs) and if they had expensive habits (for sure: coach bags, mani/pedi habits). I said: they should shop at Marshall's like we did and kick the nail habit. She said they should be able to afford some luxuries and I was like, who ARE YOU and what have you done with my frugal mother?
FWIW: This isn't a dig on teachers or women who want nice things (I am the latter). Like we all know around here: you can have some of the things, but you probably can't have all of the things all of the time.