Short version between the asterisks, underneath that are examples. Feel free to skip and add your own thoughts/examples (even if you repeat what I said, a lot of people will skip the bulk of this post).
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Often we need to blend in with those around us, whether we're trying to blend in with people who spend less than us, or with those who spend more. Perhaps you're living in the ghetto and want a Lexus, or work at a big law firm and drive a decades old Honda Civic. You'll stick out like a sore thumb in both scenarios.
At times we may WANT to stick out. We want to cause a scene, we want people to look at us and say "How does he/she do that? I want to be more like him/her!" Other times though, we just want to keep our heads low and look like everyone around us. That's my goal for this thread. Hopefully we'll get some ideas on how to look like we're spending less than we are, and/or spending more than we are (sometimes, to properly blend in, we have to appear to do both depending on each situation).
Note: I'm not suggesting that anyone spend significantly more than necessary on items, or deprive themselves of items/experiences that might be seen as too expensive. Rather, I'm trying to get examples where you can either make the same thing look cheap or expensive, or do something similar that can be perceived as cheaper/spendier (that's a word, right?).
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I'll start by giving a scenario where you can easily emphasize the spendier parts, or the cheapskate parts (hopefully you won't be an actual cheapskate, but you can APPEAR to be one).
You take the kids to Disney World (hey, stop face punching, I'm just giving a scenario and NOT saying anyone should actually do so, though I will admit to going quite a few times). You decide that instead of spending hundreds per night to stay on (Disney) property, or $50+ per night to stay off property (plus the $15 or whatever parking, plus gas and time to drive there and back, etc.), you'll spend $50-$60/night to camp at Fort Wilderness. You're on property, can use Disney transportation, don't have to pay parking if you drive to one of the parks, etc. You bought 10-day park hopper no expiration tickets that have the water park 'n more option (so, an extra 10 days of minor parks, i.e. the water parks, arcade, etc.). You can use them all at once (in which case, why pay for no-expiration?) or over the course of many many years (you could go to a major park once per year for ten years, and a minor park once per year for another ten years...I think that'd be silly but you could do it).
Here's how to present it as though you're poor (and don't worry, plenty of poor people go on vacations they shouldn't be able to afford, and try to justify it as "too good of a deal to pass up"):
To save money you camped in a tent. You made PB&J sandwiches for lunch. You spent three days at the parks. You went to a timeshare presentation (you can even word it as "We went to a timeshare presentation, and got tickets to go to the park" which SOUNDS like "We went to a timeshare presentation where they gave us tickets to go to the parks"). What, you hate timeshare presentations? No problem, just make sure the presentation you go to is a Disney presentation. No hassle, no pressure, just some snacks and some goodies for each person attending (first time was super-duper fast passes that gave passes for the current time, instead of way in the future; next time was the same OR $15 gift card per person, btw they count kids as people). You also didn't go to any character dining in the parks, because that just takes away time from the rides. Well, there you have it. You camped in a tent, went to a timeshare, ate PB&J sandwiches, and no expensive Character Dining (or any food in the parks for that matter). At least, that's the impression you're giving.
Here's how to present the same scenario as though you're spending money like it's going out of style:
You stayed on (Disney) property. If they ask, it was at Fort Wilderness, and they have some pretty nice cabins there (not that you stayed in one, but the cabins are indeed nice). You spent 1.5 weeks at Disney (any day spent on property is time spent at Disney). Mention that you paid extra to go to the Halloween/Christmas party (you can go in around 3-4pm and stay late, it's pretty good for the arrival day). You did Character Dining (not in a park, you did it at Fort Wilderness on the "cheap", but they don't have to know that). Mention the restaurants you bought food at in the park (the one or two times you bought a cheap snack). Now you've spent 1.5 weeks (or a week, or two, whatever) at Disney while staying on property, you paid a ton of money to eat in the parks every day, did Character Dining, went to the extra ticketed party, etc.
One may give the impression you spent hundreds, the other gives the impression that you spent thousands. The true cost is somewhere in the middle, though closer to the hundreds than the thousands.
Scenario #2. You need a reliable car (we're assuming you actually need a car, whether you're in a super rural area, or need to drive clients around, whatever).
The poor way:
Look for a low-mileage, well maintained Toyota (Camry, Corolla, whatever) that has all the super upgraded stuff that's important to you (leather seats if that's your thing, upgraded suspension, JBL/Bose/Harmon/BS radio system, oh and of course the undercoating). It is close-ish to a similar Lexus, but looks more "working class".
The rich way:
Again, you want a well maintained car. But get the base model Lexus instead. It may not be much better than the suped-up Toyota, but it's a Lexus. It's obviously a luxury car that you paid a lot for.
Scenario #3. You're buying a luxury watch (ok, maybe ONE face punch allowed, but if you're in a profession where appearance matters, this might actually be important).
The poor way:
Ok, face punch away. But for whatever reason, you're getting a luxury watch that'll last decades (maybe you want to pass it down to your kids, or just appreciate a quality timepiece and that's your one indulgence, or whatever). Do NOT buy a Rolex. Get a lesser known brand (Tudor is owned by Rolex, and has a Swiss movement, but it's not made in-house). A good option that looks cheap(er) is a Grand Seiko. It displays the Seiko name very prominently on the dial, and Grand Seiko in smaller print. Quality is equal to or greater than an equivalent Rolex (and the price can be on par with a Rolex as well). But Seiko is a watch you can buy at the drug store for under $100, maybe a couple hundred if you go all out. Few will know that your watch is worth more than their car.
The rich way:
Rolex. If you need super high-end, maybe another luxury brand that's not as "common." But Rolex will tell people you have money. Buy a fake if you want (but it better be a really good replica). Buy a real one (bonus points if you find an older one that still looks great, was recently serviced, and is thousands cheaper than a new one). If you can buy a non-Rolex, used ones are often significantly less expensive than a new one (something that retailed for $5k might cost $1k a few years later).
Mobile phones.
The poor way:
I want to say to emphasize that the phone was cheap (under $100, if lucky it came with a year of airtime) and that you're only paying ~$20 per 90 days. Unfortunately, to fit in with those poorer than you, you might need to say how "cheap" the $100 phone was and insinuate that you're on an expensive monthly plan. *Shrugs*
The rich way:
You got a good deal by paying $100-$300 for your phone, and you have lots of data (180MB per 90 days is a lot to you). Bonus if you "upgrade" every year or two. You could buy a high(ish) quality clone of an expensive model, but I won't get into that.
Some quickies:
You buy a projector. Cheap = It only cost in the hundreds and you painted a screen on the wall. Expensive = Emphasize the super qualities of the projector such as HD, and the wall was custom painted (by you).
You buy a solid wood dining room set. Cheap = You bought it used. Expensive = You bought an antique.
You buy a Dell laptop. Cheap = You bought it refurbed from Dell, and Dell has some really good deals on laptops starting at ~$200. Expensive = You bought it direct from Dell (don't mention refurb, and only mention price if it was expensive).
House. Cheap = You bought a fixer-upper and did the work yourself. Expensive = You have hardwood floors (that you bought cheap and installed yourself).
Shoes. Cheap = Not Nike/Reebok/Adidas/Sketchers or whatever brand is considered "in". Expensive = You bought a high end luxurious brand (that will last a decade, can easily be resoled, and will end up saving you money).
Peanut Butter. Cheap = Store brand. Expensive = Natural and/or organic (I've seen Walmart brand natural peanut butter).
Shirt. Cheap = Bought it at the thrift store. Expensive = Came from a higher-end store (does Target and Macy's count?). Don't have to tell them that the retail store donated it to the thrift store and you bought it for $5 with the tags still on it.
Turkey. Cheap = Bought several while they were on sale and stored in the freezer. It's April, turkey again? Expensive = It's April, turkey is out of season, and you just made a huge meal that rivals many people's Thanksgiving dinners.
Few more quick ideas, and I promise I'll stop.
Do you drink soda? First, STOP, it's unhealthy! If you refuse to follow my superb advice, here's an idea to blend in at the office. Buy a six pack of whatever soda is stocked in the office vending machine. Drink them (unless it's a type you hate, maybe your spouse can drink them?). Buy a cheap 2-liter of the soda of your choice (bonus points if it's generic). Rinse out the bottles, refill them, and it looks like you're spending $1.50-$2 a pop (a pop, get it? No?). Yay, you fit in!
Buy a Starbucks coffee mug. Put whatever coffee you like in it before you leave home. Don't like coffee? Ok, hot chocolate then. Show up to work, hey, you spent money at Starbucks just like everyone else! Note: This does not work if there's no Starbucks in your (obviously tiny) city.
If you find yourself in the possession of several take-out containers, use them to take leftovers to work. I.e., you can make an awesome chicken salad at home, put it in a (very well cleaned out and sterilized, and whatever else I need to say for legal reasons) take-out container, and it looks like you ate at an expensive restaurant.
401k, what's that?
IRA, is that the tax department or the Ireland thing?
You'll never get to retire.
If you're retired, find a way to describe something you do as though it were a job. Have a website? You host websites. Manage your retirement savings? You're a financial planner (and no, you're not taking any more clients).
Whether you're trying to look rich or poor, complain about the government and taxes.
That's enough from me. I'd love to hear what ideas others have!