Should I sell my wedding rings?

[MrThatsDifferent]

Well, here’s a dilemma: I have two wedding rings and I’m no longer married. I have two of the same rings because I thought I lost one, and managed to get it replaced before my now ex found out, and then ended up finding The original ring. (The ex never did find out). So what do I do with them? They’re only about $700 each. It feels wrong to sell them, but I won’t be wearing them again (I don’t think). If I ever got married again (forbid), shouldn’t I get a new ring? And how do I sell them to get the best value? Pawn shop place? Makes me feel like some desperate person from the movies. What sucks is I loved my wedding ring. Loved the design and wearing it but it only fits that finger and you can’t wear it without seeming disingenuous somehow. Anyways, what are the mustachian perspectives on an unused wedding ring(s)?

[secondcor521]

I sold mine to a reputable local gold shop a few years after my divorce was final.  I don't plan to get remarried, but if I did I wouldn't re-use my first wedding ring.  I also figured my kids wouldn't have any use for my ring - they're pretty unsentimental about things like that.

Note that if you sell it to a gold/silver shop, you'll just get whatever the gold value is, because they just melt them down.  I think I got somewhere between a third and a half of what I paid for the ring originally.  So understand that resale value is much less than retail value.

[englishteacheralex]

I'd sell them for sure, and I wouldn't worry too much about getting the best price. I'd probably go with a pawn shop, since that's the only thing I could think of off the top of my head.

Reasons:
1. I hate clutter. Especially sentimental clutter. I have one box of sentimental items and that's it. I have two kids! I have to be ruthless towards clutter.
2. Exes clutter is particularly pernicious clutter. That there clutter has emotional clutter ALONG WITH the physical clutter. Absolutely I would get rid of it.
3. I mean, I'm still very happily married and I sold my wedding dress (a month after the wedding). That's how much I hate clutter.
4. If you get married again you are absolutely not using your old wedding ring. Oh my word. Imagine just continuing on with the same ring. Good gracious no. You don't know if you're getting married again, I presume? This is a purely hypothetical thing? Just buy another ring if you get married again.
5. My ring was $140 and I now consider it highway robbery that I spent so much. My husband's ring is a titanium one from Etsy for $40 and we had to replace it once already. Just buy a cheap one if you get married again.

Yeah, sell those rings at a pawn shop, use the money for something super fun, and don't look back.

[MrThatsDifferent]

Yes, part of me is thinking to use this WFH time to do some serious decluttering and seeing how much coin I can get for my stuff.

[Roadrunner53]

I would get rid of the rings. If you do remarry someday, I would think your partner would think it is weird you would want to get married with a ring from a previous marriage. That is not frugal in my opinion, just weird. When you are in a new relationship, you should start with a fresh start, not with old baggage. I don't particularly believe in bad luck, but if you are getting married with a ring that resulted in a failed marriage, kind of has dark clouds looming over the ring if you ask me.

If you are done with the marriage, get rid of the rings. If you think you will get back with the ex, maybe hang onto them a while.

Besides pawn shops there are business's that buy gold and some jewelry stores will buy gold.

The greedy part of me would be to sell the rings and put the money in the bank. The good side of me says since the marriage didn't work out, maybe I should donate the money to a good cause like a soup kitchen, homeless shelter. Or the hybrid version would be to keep half and donate half. Good deeds have a way of rewarding you in the future!

[MrThatsDifferent]

Ok, so the consensus is to get rid of the rings. So, do I shop them around to understand their value and then take them to the highest offer?  Has anyone sold jewelry before?

[Elle 8]

Are these gold rings? If so, it's a great time to sell because the price of gold is very high right now, about $1900 per ounce (it changes daily). To calculate how much your rings are worth, you'll need to weigh them in grams then use a formula to calculate it. 1 ounce is 31 grams. The formula will be different depending on the karat of the gold. 14K gold has .583 gold content (14/24), 18K gold has .750 gold content (18/24), etc. You can expect to get about 70% of the final figure (the gold dealer needs his cut), but you probably won't be offered that right off the bat, if you're up for it you can try to negotiate. Here is an example using $1900/oz and 10 grams of 14K gold:

1900/31 = 61.29 per gram (this would be for 24K gold)
If your ring is 14K, 61.29 * .583 = 35.73 per gram
If your ring is 10 grams that's 357.30
You should be able to negotiate for 70% of that, 250.12

So, in this example if you're offered 250 or more you should take it as that would be considered a fair offer. If you're offered less you can try to negotiate higher. I've found the gold buying places may have strict formulas on what they can offer and may not negotiate. You might have better luck at a jewelry shop.

Hope this helps!

[MoStash]

I have sold gold to a jeweler to offset the price of a new ring. You don't even have to leave home though. Google "sell scrap gold online" and you will find many places that will send you a mailer to send in your gold.

[Metalcat]

They're not worth much as jewelry, people don't like to buy used rings, so you're selling them for the gold. It shouldn't be hard to google which gold buying businesses will give you the best price.

As for whether or not you should keep them, that's entirely up to you, and it doesn't matter what any of us think. If you feel sentimental about them and want to keep them in some way, you could have them melted down and turned into something else.

Do whatever feels right to you.

For me, I had one ugly breakup where I had the very expensive ring resized to my middle finger so that I could flip him off with his own money. Lol

[FlytilFIRE]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

[RetiredAt63]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

If it looks old-fashioned, probably mother's or grandmother's ring.

[Metalcat]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

[FlytilFIRE]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

Thank you for explaining it. I've asked others, and no one ever gave me reasons such as yours. Part of my reaction is being in the U.S. I think you're not, so perhaps the reasoning might differ in other locations. Part of it is personal history. My use of "wince" was for dramatic effect. I doubt I actually wince when I see this.

Nose ring, nipple ring, people can do whatever they want. But the tradition is where the ring is worn, and it varies by culture. Putting aside the VERY ridiculous manufactured concept  of expensive diamond engagement rings, why do so many people who have little to no savings buy rings at all, especially if they aren't being worn in a traditional fashion?

[Car Jack]

Get a few quotes, then sell them.  Better than what a buddy of mine did.  After his first divorce, he went to a beach and threw his ring into the ocean.

[2Birds1Stone]

Melt them down and have them made into something cool, like a voodoo doll of your ex.

[SunnyDays]

Have the ring resized to fit a different finger and redesigned so it doesn't look like a wedding ring.  Add stones, etc.  If you like it that much.

[partgypsy]

I disagree. It is ok to keep something if you still have some good memories attached
 I have a plain gold band from my marriage and will keep it. If you want to get more than gold melt price you can sell on idonowidont, or loupetroop, or even ebay if you have a high rating. It will take longer and may need to do a little research to price it right.

[zygote]

My ring was originally my great-great grandmother's and has been passed down through the women in my family. I also love the setting, and have never seen anything like it. If I ever got divorced (knock on wood), I'd keep the ring and just wear it on my right hand. Or maybe resize to fit a different finger.

It's totally up to you how much you like the setting and whether it's worth it to you to keep it and wear it on another finger. But definitely look around and get some quotes from jewelry shops, pawn shops, etc. for the extra one. No need to have two.

[Catbert]

I have sold gold to a jeweler to offset the price of a new ring. You don't even have to leave home though. Google "sell scrap gold online" and you will find many places that will send you a mailer to send in your gold.

I'd wouldn't sell online.  There are lots of horror stories of people mailing in their gold items and getting back much less $$ than they expected.  By then the jewelry is gone and it's hard (impossible?) to prove the weight and purity of what was sent in.  Find a local place see what they'll give you.  If it doesn't seem fair (Elle 8 had a great description of how to figure what's fair) you can go elsewhere.

edited b/c I left out the "n't".  I meant "wouldn't" do it.

[PDXTabs]

Sell it, I did.

[Metalcat]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

Thank you for explaining it. I've asked others, and no one ever gave me reasons such as yours. Part of my reaction is being in the U.S. I think you're not, so perhaps the reasoning might differ in other locations. Part of it is personal history. My use of "wince" was for dramatic effect. I doubt I actually wince when I see this.

Nose ring, nipple ring, people can do whatever they want. But the tradition is where the ring is worn, and it varies by culture. Putting aside the VERY ridiculous manufactured concept  of expensive diamond engagement rings, why do so many people who have little to no savings buy rings at all, especially if they aren't being worn in a traditional fashion?

I'm not quite sure I get what you are trying to say, or why this makes you judge people for wearing diamond rings on other fingers?

[Villanelle]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

I find this fascinating.  First, I have never given any thought at all to what jewelry a woman wears on what finger.  Also, I have both my (deceased) grandmother's wedding ring and my mother's wedding band (she wears her engagement ring but for some reason has never as long as I can remember worn the plain band, though she and my father have been married for 50+ years ).  On occasion, I wear one or the other of them.  I'm not sure there's a "deal".  Mostly, as with any jewelry, I guess I like they way they look but to the extent that there is a "deal", it also makes me think of people I love very much. 

I'm sorry that would make you uncomfortable, I guess?   How odd.  (And I am from the US, since you seem to think that makes a difference.)

ETA: since you say that tradition is where the ring is worn... tradition in the US is also to buy a new car every few years and spend everything you make.  SoTF what?   Someone else not partaking in a tradition that *you* find meaningful has nothing to do with you.  And the tradition is that you wear *your* *engagement* ring on a specific finger.  If it is not the ring for *your* engagement or you are no longer engaged or married, then it's just a ring.  And I believe tradition allows rings to be worn as the wearer sees fit, no? 
 

[FlytilFIRE]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

I find this fascinating.  First, I have never given any thought at all to what jewelry a woman wears on what finger.  Also, I have both my (deceased) grandmother's wedding ring and my mother's wedding band (she wears her engagement ring but for some reason has never as long as I can remember worn the plain band, though she and my father have been married for 50+ years ).  On occasion, I wear one or the other of them.  I'm not sure there's a "deal".  Mostly, as with any jewelry, I guess I like they way they look but to the extent that there is a "deal", it also makes me think of people I love very much. 

I'm sorry that would make you uncomfortable, I guess?   How odd.  (And I am from the US, since you seem to think that makes a difference.)

ETA: since you say that tradition is where the ring is worn... tradition in the US is also to buy a new car every few years and spend everything you make.  SoTF what?   Someone else not partaking in a tradition that *you* find meaningful has nothing to do with you.  And the tradition is that you wear *your* *engagement* ring on a specific finger.  If it is not the ring for *your* engagement or you are no longer engaged or married, then it's just a ring.  And I believe tradition allows rings to be worn as the wearer sees fit, no?

I apologize to those I have offended. Apparently I haven't thought through various scenarios on when/how people wear jewelry.

Still, Villanelle, let's differentiate between a tradition and a norm. How engagements are announced and celebrated does indeed differ by culture. Some Europeans wear wedding rings on the right, some on the left. India has very different traditions than China, or the U.S. What I find meaningful is relevant only to me. We're all different. I'm not offended by how any jewelry is worn, nor have I ever accosted anyone to determine the appropriate wear of anything on their person. Do I judge? Yeah, I do. As do you and every other human on the planet. I do what I think is right and fair, and hope that others do the same. Once again, I'm sorry. I'll learn.

[LifeHappens]

Get a few quotes, then sell them.  Better than what a buddy of mine did.  After his first divorce, he went to a beach and threw his ring into the ocean.

That sounds so cathartic. I bet it was worth every penny to your friend.

[economista]

This has turned into an interesting discussion. My best friend broke her left hand ring finger and her wedding/engagement rings will not fit over her knuckle anymore. So, she wears a silicone ring on that finger and her wedding rings on the ring finger of her right hand. She is young (30) and gets approached all the time by old ladies who want to offer her condolences for losing her husband at such a young age. Apparently when you are a widow it is traditional to wear the rings on your right ring finger instead? Neither of us had ever heard of that before and she was really confused the first time it happened.

[GoCubsGo]

I'm the worst to comment on sentimentality.  My wife inherited a honker of a wedding ring (like tens of thousands).  Way larger than what I bought her.  I told her sell the one I bought her (or at least the gold) and use the proceeds to make a new setting for the inherited diamond. She e looked at me like I had two heads.   It's just jewelry in the end. 

At least sell one of them.  My jeweler  offered me a lot of money for a gaudy gold bracelet I didn't wear anymore and offered even more in trade in value.  Probably a great time to sell with gold skyrocketing.

[Villanelle]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

I find this fascinating.  First, I have never given any thought at all to what jewelry a woman wears on what finger.  Also, I have both my (deceased) grandmother's wedding ring and my mother's wedding band (she wears her engagement ring but for some reason has never as long as I can remember worn the plain band, though she and my father have been married for 50+ years ).  On occasion, I wear one or the other of them.  I'm not sure there's a "deal".  Mostly, as with any jewelry, I guess I like they way they look but to the extent that there is a "deal", it also makes me think of people I love very much. 

I'm sorry that would make you uncomfortable, I guess?   How odd.  (And I am from the US, since you seem to think that makes a difference.)

ETA: since you say that tradition is where the ring is worn... tradition in the US is also to buy a new car every few years and spend everything you make.  SoTF what?   Someone else not partaking in a tradition that *you* find meaningful has nothing to do with you.  And the tradition is that you wear *your* *engagement* ring on a specific finger.  If it is not the ring for *your* engagement or you are no longer engaged or married, then it's just a ring.  And I believe tradition allows rings to be worn as the wearer sees fit, no?

I apologize to those I have offended. Apparently I haven't thought through various scenarios on when/how people wear jewelry.

Still, Villanelle, let's differentiate between a tradition and a norm. How engagements are announced and celebrated does indeed differ by culture. Some Europeans wear wedding rings on the right, some on the left. India has very different traditions than China, or the U.S. What I find meaningful is relevant only to me. We're all different. I'm not offended by how any jewelry is worn, nor have I ever accosted anyone to determine the appropriate wear of anything on their person. Do I judge? Yeah, I do. As do you and every other human on the planet. I do what I think is right and fair, and hope that others do the same. Once again, I'm sorry. I'll learn.

I agree with this. I often say that I think judgement is actually way underrated.  It's who you judge, how you judge them, and why that matters.  And judging someone because they put a ring of a certain style on a finger other than the one that applies to your values is something I *judge* as being silly and small-minded.  It didn't offend me, so that apology wasn't necessary.  I wasn't offended because I don't care what some internet stranger thinks about where I wear Grandma Edna's ring.  lol  But it was eye roll-y so I called it out.

And yes, there is a difference between a tradition and a norm, and I almost changed that part of my post.  So instead of comparing it to new car purchases, let's compare it to the tradition of leaving inheritance only to sons, as one example then. What about a woman who doesn't take her husband's last name?  Do you judge her--negatively-- for that because it's bucking a tradition?  Or is it perfectly fine, even if it's not what you'd do or want your spouse to do, because it is what works best and feels right for her and her partner?

[Villanelle]

I'm the worst to comment on sentimentality.  My wife inherited a honker of a wedding ring (like tens of thousands).  Way larger than what I bought her.  I told her sell the one I bought her (or at least the gold) and use the proceeds to make a new setting for the inherited diamond. She e looked at me like I had two heads.   It's just jewelry in the end. 

At least sell one of them.  My jeweler  offered me a lot of money for a gaudy gold bracelet I didn't wear anymore and offered even more in trade in value.  Probably a great time to sell with gold skyrocketing.

I almost never wore my original wedding and engagement set.  It sat too far off up off my finger and was constantly catching on things which hurt, so I didn't wear it.  I was perfectly fine with that, but I think it bothered DH a bit (not in a "she's claimed" way, but just that he liked the sentimentality of me wearing a wedding ring).  So I got a new set.  It's old and the diamonds are crappy (you can see the unevenness in the facets clearly with the naked eye) but because of they way rings were made back then and the cut (bad) of the diamonds, it has a very low profile.  So I'm happy and wear it all the time now.  So I'm equally not sentimental about this sort of thing, I suppose!

[Metalcat]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

I find this fascinating.  First, I have never given any thought at all to what jewelry a woman wears on what finger.  Also, I have both my (deceased) grandmother's wedding ring and my mother's wedding band (she wears her engagement ring but for some reason has never as long as I can remember worn the plain band, though she and my father have been married for 50+ years ).  On occasion, I wear one or the other of them.  I'm not sure there's a "deal".  Mostly, as with any jewelry, I guess I like they way they look but to the extent that there is a "deal", it also makes me think of people I love very much. 

I'm sorry that would make you uncomfortable, I guess?   How odd.  (And I am from the US, since you seem to think that makes a difference.)

ETA: since you say that tradition is where the ring is worn... tradition in the US is also to buy a new car every few years and spend everything you make.  SoTF what?   Someone else not partaking in a tradition that *you* find meaningful has nothing to do with you.  And the tradition is that you wear *your* *engagement* ring on a specific finger.  If it is not the ring for *your* engagement or you are no longer engaged or married, then it's just a ring.  And I believe tradition allows rings to be worn as the wearer sees fit, no?

I apologize to those I have offended. Apparently I haven't thought through various scenarios on when/how people wear jewelry.

Still, Villanelle, let's differentiate between a tradition and a norm. How engagements are announced and celebrated does indeed differ by culture. Some Europeans wear wedding rings on the right, some on the left. India has very different traditions than China, or the U.S. What I find meaningful is relevant only to me. We're all different. I'm not offended by how any jewelry is worn, nor have I ever accosted anyone to determine the appropriate wear of anything on their person. Do I judge? Yeah, I do. As do you and every other human on the planet. I do what I think is right and fair, and hope that others do the same. Once again, I'm sorry. I'll learn.

I agree with this. I often say that I think judgement is actually way underrated.  It's who you judge, how you judge them, and why that matters.  And judging someone because they put a ring of a certain style on a finger other than the one that applies to your values is something I *judge* as being silly and small-minded.  It didn't offend me, so that apology wasn't necessary.  I wasn't offended because I don't care what some internet stranger thinks about where I wear Grandma Edna's ring.  lol  But it was eye roll-y so I called it out.

And yes, there is a difference between a tradition and a norm, and I almost changed that part of my post.  So instead of comparing it to new car purchases, let's compare it to the tradition of leaving inheritance only to sons, as one example then. What about a woman who doesn't take her husband's last name?  Do you judge her--negatively-- for that because it's bucking a tradition?  Or is it perfectly fine, even if it's not what you'd do or want your spouse to do, because it is what works best and feels right for her and her partner?

What about the man who takes his wife's name???

Also, there's a difference between rationally judging what is known and irrational prejudging without knowing. Although the second is extremely common, so a lot of people assume it's acceptable.

If you're judging someone and your explanation is "no one ever explained the behaviour to me", that's a cop out. That's saying "this doesn't fit with my expected norm, so I'm just gonna default to the assumption that it's wrong".

Not everyone judges that way. Some of us see something different and think "I wonder why they do that differently than I'm accustom to?"

For example, I'm now vaguely curious what kind of social upbringing would create a sense of judgement about which finger a woman wears a ring on. I don't feel judgemental about it, I'm wondering where that comes from, what the basis of that reaction is?

[FlytilFIRE]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

I find this fascinating.  First, I have never given any thought at all to what jewelry a woman wears on what finger.  Also, I have both my (deceased) grandmother's wedding ring and my mother's wedding band (she wears her engagement ring but for some reason has never as long as I can remember worn the plain band, though she and my father have been married for 50+ years ).  On occasion, I wear one or the other of them.  I'm not sure there's a "deal".  Mostly, as with any jewelry, I guess I like they way they look but to the extent that there is a "deal", it also makes me think of people I love very much. 

I'm sorry that would make you uncomfortable, I guess?   How odd.  (And I am from the US, since you seem to think that makes a difference.)

ETA: since you say that tradition is where the ring is worn... tradition in the US is also to buy a new car every few years and spend everything you make.  SoTF what?   Someone else not partaking in a tradition that *you* find meaningful has nothing to do with you.  And the tradition is that you wear *your* *engagement* ring on a specific finger.  If it is not the ring for *your* engagement or you are no longer engaged or married, then it's just a ring.  And I believe tradition allows rings to be worn as the wearer sees fit, no?

I apologize to those I have offended. Apparently I haven't thought through various scenarios on when/how people wear jewelry.

Still, Villanelle, let's differentiate between a tradition and a norm. How engagements are announced and celebrated does indeed differ by culture. Some Europeans wear wedding rings on the right, some on the left. India has very different traditions than China, or the U.S. What I find meaningful is relevant only to me. We're all different. I'm not offended by how any jewelry is worn, nor have I ever accosted anyone to determine the appropriate wear of anything on their person. Do I judge? Yeah, I do. As do you and every other human on the planet. I do what I think is right and fair, and hope that others do the same. Once again, I'm sorry. I'll learn.

I agree with this. I often say that I think judgement is actually way underrated.  It's who you judge, how you judge them, and why that matters.  And judging someone because they put a ring of a certain style on a finger other than the one that applies to your values is something I *judge* as being silly and small-minded.  It didn't offend me, so that apology wasn't necessary.  I wasn't offended because I don't care what some internet stranger thinks about where I wear Grandma Edna's ring.  lol  But it was eye roll-y so I called it out.

And yes, there is a difference between a tradition and a norm, and I almost changed that part of my post.  So instead of comparing it to new car purchases, let's compare it to the tradition of leaving inheritance only to sons, as one example then. What about a woman who doesn't take her husband's last name?  Do you judge her--negatively-- for that because it's bucking a tradition?  Or is it perfectly fine, even if it's not what you'd do or want your spouse to do, because it is what works best and feels right for her and her partner?

What about the man who takes his wife's name???

Also, there's a difference between rationally judging what is known and irrational prejudging without knowing. Although the second is extremely common, so a lot of people assume it's acceptable.

If you're judging someone and your explanation is "no one ever explained the behaviour to me", that's a cop out. That's saying "this doesn't fit with my expected norm, so I'm just gonna default to the assumption that it's wrong".

Not everyone judges that way. Some of us see something different and think "I wonder why they do that differently than I'm accustom to?"

For example, I'm now vaguely curious what kind of social upbringing would create a sense of judgement about which finger a woman wears a ring on. I don't feel judgemental about it, I'm wondering where that comes from, what the basis of that reaction is?

O.k. I'll bite. I'm a 60 something year old American. There's the social upbringing. Part of my attitude is based on knowing that some women (I don't know about men) DO wear rings as trophies, and I think that's not right. I hadn't considered family heirlooms, or sentimental value. That was my mistake, and I own it. I also agree that many social customs can, and should, be changed. The name game is a perfect example, but wonder what happens if one hyphenated person joins with another hyphenated person. Long name. Western society is on the cusp of huge changes. Many of us WANT some of the customs of the past, whether it's marriage or staying home with kids, while still adapting to new roles and norms. Gender identity and acceptance is changing. But the social norms I grew up with in small town America is still attractive to many, for a lot of different reasons. I also think you're coming down pretty hard on what I consider a minor point. Can you honestly tell me you've never looked at someone and said "That's one tacky outfit?" If you haven't, you should apply for sainthood, because you just judged. As I said earlier, I have never insulted another person for anything they wear. Judged, yes. I don't consider myself a bad person. Imperfect, and always trying to do better. I'll leave it at that.

[Metalcat]

O.k. I'll bite. I'm a 60 something year old American. There's the social upbringing. Part of my attitude is based on knowing that some women (I don't know about men) DO wear rings as trophies, and I think that's not right. I hadn't considered family heirlooms, or sentimental value. That was my mistake, and I own it. I also agree that many social customs can, and should, be changed. The name game is a perfect example, but wonder what happens if one hyphenated person joins with another hyphenated person. Long name. Western society is on the cusp of huge changes. Many of us WANT some of the customs of the past, whether it's marriage or staying home with kids, while still adapting to new roles and norms. Gender identity and acceptance is changing. But the social norms I grew up with in small town America is still attractive to many, for a lot of different reasons. I also think you're coming down pretty hard on what I consider a minor point. Can you honestly tell me you've never looked at someone and said "That's one tacky outfit?" If you haven't, you should apply for sainthood, because you just judged. As I said earlier, I have never insulted another person for anything they wear. Judged, yes. I don't consider myself a bad person. Imperfect, and always trying to do better. I'll leave it at that.

Of course I judge people. If I find an outfit ugly, I find it ugly.

I'm not being harsh on you, I pointing out the difference between judging and prejudging. I'm plenty judgemental about a lot of things that I thoroughly understand and don't approve of. I do, however, try to err heavily on the side of caution when I don't fully understand things.

What I'm arguing against is the generalization that everyone judges the same way you've described.

Also, I was just genuinely curious about why you felt the way you did. I wasn't being sarcastic or judgemental. I like understanding people, so thanks for explaining.

Oh, and when I mentioned men taking women's last names, I wasn't referring to hyphenating, I was referring to full on replacing theirs with their wive's.

[Cassie]

Don’t sell to a pawn shop or mail it to a place that buys gold. You will get more from a jeweler. Or melt the rings down and have a new one made.

[MrThatsDifferent]

Don’t sell to a pawn shop or mail it to a place that buys gold. You will get more from a jeweler. Or melt the rings down and have a new one made.

I actually like this idea the most. So many good ideas here. Thanks everyone.

[Metalcat]

Don’t sell to a pawn shop or mail it to a place that buys gold. You will get more from a jeweler. Or melt the rings down and have a new one made.

I actually like this idea the most. So many good ideas here. Thanks everyone.

I like the idea of you melting them down and making something else. They're obviously sentimental to you, and it lets you preserve the value of what you had, but also moves on past what it was. It's poetic.

[2Birds1Stone]

Melt them down and have them made into something cool, like a voodoo doll of your ex.

I stand by my suggestion.

[marble_faun]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

Thank you for explaining it. I've asked others, and no one ever gave me reasons such as yours. Part of my reaction is being in the U.S. I think you're not, so perhaps the reasoning might differ in other locations. Part of it is personal history. My use of "wince" was for dramatic effect. I doubt I actually wince when I see this.

Nose ring, nipple ring, people can do whatever they want. But the tradition is where the ring is worn, and it varies by culture. Putting aside the VERY ridiculous manufactured concept  of expensive diamond engagement rings, why do so many people who have little to no savings buy rings at all, especially if they aren't being worn in a traditional fashion?

I had always heard that after a divorce, the "proper etiquette" was for the woman to move her wedding/engagement rings from the left hand to the right.  So that might be what you were seeing.

[MrThatsDifferent]

Melt them down and have them made into something cool, like a voodoo doll of your ex.

I stand by my suggestion.

Something cool? Sure. A voodoo doll of my ex? I’m not petty or vengeful and have too much respect for my ex and the good times to demonize the relationship or desecrate the memories. Some things just don’t last as long as you might like. That’s life.

[Feivel2000]

Great idea! I will sell my wedding ring. The materials are propably only worth 100-200€, but that money makes more sense than having the ring in a box. In the cellar.

Thx!

[slappy]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

Thank you for explaining it. I've asked others, and no one ever gave me reasons such as yours. Part of my reaction is being in the U.S. I think you're not, so perhaps the reasoning might differ in other locations. Part of it is personal history. My use of "wince" was for dramatic effect. I doubt I actually wince when I see this.

Nose ring, nipple ring, people can do whatever they want. But the tradition is where the ring is worn, and it varies by culture. Putting aside the VERY ridiculous manufactured concept  of expensive diamond engagement rings, why do so many people who have little to no savings buy rings at all, especially if they aren't being worn in a traditional fashion?

I had always heard that after a divorce, the "proper etiquette" was for the woman to move her wedding/engagement rings from the left hand to the right.  So that might be what you were seeing.

Why on earth would a woman want to wear her wedding/engagement rings after a divorce?

[I'm a red panda]

If you wear jewerly, you could have the stones set into a necklace or earrings, depending on what they look like.

When selling things, it can sometimes be hard to come to terms with the fact that they likely have nearly no value.  Just take a few dollars and move on. At least they are gone.

[LibrarianFuzz]

Any recommendations for a non-gold wedding ring?

A silver ring with a diamond. About $1k brand new. Any back-of-the-napkin estimates on what a pawn shop would pay for it?

[Metalcat]

Any recommendations for a non-gold wedding ring?

A silver ring with a diamond. About $1k brand new. Any back-of-the-napkin estimates on what a pawn shop would pay for it?

Diamonds have very, very little after market value. You will typically be offered about 10% of the purchase price.

[iris lily]

Any recommendations for a non-gold wedding ring?

A silver ring with a diamond. About $1k brand new. Any back-of-the-napkin estimates on what a pawn shop would pay for it?

not much. Melt value for silver. Little to nothing for the diamond unless it is over 1/2 carat and very nice specs.

That is my unprofessional opinion, informed from looking at hundreds of rings listings over the years.

[Kris]

Any recommendations for a non-gold wedding ring?

A silver ring with a diamond. About $1k brand new. Any back-of-the-napkin estimates on what a pawn shop would pay for it?

Diamonds have very, very little after market value. You will typically be offered about 10% of the purchase price.

Yep, I was gonna say 10%, too. My platinum/diamond wedding ring from my first marriage was purchased for $5,000. I got $500 for it.

[partgypsy]

I can also understand not wanting to wear the ring, if you are divorced and it brings bad memories. It's more complicated than that, but the last anniversary ring ex and I got, it was purchased a year before the breakup and when he was cheating. No way I could wear that, even though it was a beautiful ring and just my style. I sold that and some other jewelry, and had a 3 stone ring made to wear instead.

Ironically when I wore it I got a couple comments asking if it was an engagement ring, even though it was a 3 ring bezel style and wore it on my right hand, so I stopped wearing it. But honestly, I'm past 50, not planning on getting married again and going to start wearing it out and get used to wearing it, because that's what I bought it for!


advice where to sell: internetmarket called Loupetroop, and  IdonowIdon't. Both cases you will need to figure out what you want to sell it for, and sometimes that's tricky. Rings I've seen on those sites are all over the place regarding pricing, and obviously if it's not priced right it won't sell. also some jewelry and antique stores take rings on consignment. 

[marble_faun]

If you like the ring as a piece of jewelry, you can get it resized to fit another finger. Sell one, keep one.

I wouldn't resize the ring if it's obviously a wedding ring. Even on another finger, it looks odd. I always wince when I see a woman with an obvious engagement ring on another finger. Trophy? Revenge? Sentimental reminder? What's the deal with that?

For some it's revenge (me), for others it's because their weight has changed and they don't bother resizing it (also me with another ring), for others it's a ring from a spouse or family member who passed (also me with yet another ring, and DH with his mother's gold band that fits his pinkie), and for the rare case, it's an interesting person who wanted an index finger engagement ring instead of a third finger ring, just because why not? (not me, that was a friend).

Wincing seems like an odd response to someone's choice of finger for a ring. Would you wince seeing an obvious engagement ring worn on a chain?

Thank you for explaining it. I've asked others, and no one ever gave me reasons such as yours. Part of my reaction is being in the U.S. I think you're not, so perhaps the reasoning might differ in other locations. Part of it is personal history. My use of "wince" was for dramatic effect. I doubt I actually wince when I see this.

Nose ring, nipple ring, people can do whatever they want. But the tradition is where the ring is worn, and it varies by culture. Putting aside the VERY ridiculous manufactured concept  of expensive diamond engagement rings, why do so many people who have little to no savings buy rings at all, especially if they aren't being worn in a traditional fashion?

I had always heard that after a divorce, the "proper etiquette" was for the woman to move her wedding/engagement rings from the left hand to the right.  So that might be what you were seeing.

Why on earth would a woman want to wear her wedding/engagement rings after a divorce?

If they like the rings and want to signify that they were married but aren't anymore, it's one traditional way to do it. 

Though based on this thread, it seems a lot of people may not recognize the tradition.

[TomTX]

Hm, with the spike in gold price I should get off my ass and sell the (gold) class ring that I never wear.

Not going into a jeweler/pawn shop/whatever during the pandemic - anyone have a good online gold scrap buyer? I used one many years ago (and they paid a very good rate) - but which one it was escapes me.

[Manchester]

This has turned into an interesting discussion. My best friend broke her left hand ring finger and her wedding/engagement rings will not fit over her knuckle anymore. So, she wears a silicone ring on that finger and her wedding rings on the ring finger of her right hand. She is young (30) and gets approached all the time by old ladies who want to offer her condolences for losing her husband at such a young age. Apparently when you are a widow it is traditional to wear the rings on your right ring finger instead? Neither of us had ever heard of that before and she was really confused the first time it happened.

This is fairly common in Great Britain.  Whether you're a widow/widower you can wear your wedding ring on the right hand as a sign of respect for your deceased spouse, whilst displaying that you're 'on the market'. 

[Feivel2000]

Short update: I sold my wedding ring yesterday. It was only 4.1 gram (my kitchen scale said 5g, but I give hin the benefit of the doubt) of 333 gold.

I made 60€. Afterwards it felt really strange, I could feel the missing ring on my hand again (something didn't feel for a year). The ring was the last two years in a box in the cellar.
But still, it felt really strange to sell it.

Now I feel, I should do something meaningful with the 60€. Any ideas?

[Adventine]

OP, sorry to hear your marriage didn't work out. Now's the perfect time to declutter. The faster you get rid of physical and emotional baggage, the better.

If you have more bad memories than good memories associated with the rings, it's best to sell them as quickly as possible.

If you have plenty of good memories attached to the rings, repurposing them or making them into something new may be an even better option.