Self-justifying charity donations?

[Alfred J Quack]

So, I feel uncomfortable about this so I'm going to put it in writing to see if I can figure out for myself where my discomfort is coming from.

Situation: My youngest son has Down's syndrome and can't talk yet (at 7 y/o). His school teacher set him up with an iPad and a free app they use often which has a number of cards per page that uses TTS to speak the card out loud. He still can't talk but communication is easier with this. So, I swapped the school's iPad with one of our own because the school iPad was pretty much against school regulation and we had a surpluss iPad anyway (8 years old but works fine).

Friday I spoke with one of his teachers and it came up that there were a couple of kids at the school that had requested an iPad too but that their insurance kept refusing for different reasons. That set me to thinking and I was talking with my wife about it that I thought I could sponsor a few 2nd hand iPads.
Looking online the 2nd hand ones with the required minimum software version went for €60,- each and a pawnshop had 8 in stock so I bought all 8. With all the accessories needed I'll likely end up around a €1000,- total.

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So, why do I feel unconfortable with this? I have the means and I'm using them for a few kids that really need it. It's not eating anything from my savings and it's not like I'm flaunting my "wealth" for all to see. It's also not like I didn't do something like this before though the situation at the time was different (intermediary rather than direct action).
It kind of feels like I'm cheaping out on those kids but a new iPad is like €600 but our 8 your old Mini 2 can run the required software just as well so helping 8 kids is better than just one I'd say.

[iris lily]

Seems to me that if the iPad she bought do the basic job, that’s fine.

Look at it as a Mustachian thing.. Many of us have the absolute basic technology we need and no more such as the basic car. The basic stove. Etc.

What are the iPads I use is at least six years old.

Some years ago. One of my iPad broke, and the Apple store replaced it with the exact same model which was far from the most recent one. I was happy and relieved because I didn’t want some thing with more bells, whistles, that I had to figure out.

[Adventine]

Are you mentally equating the quality/price of the iPad with the "value" of the kids? Meaning the kids are somehow "less" because they got the cheaper stuff?


Or are you worried about being asked to pay out of your own pocket for the other kids' future needs?

[ixtap]

I understand the feeling, but it isn't even like you are upgrading for yourself and giving away something cheaper. You are giving on par with what you are using. Even if you were getting yourself a new one, you are providing these kids with something they would have to do without.

We have a friend buying a boat and the life jackets we like were on sale for the holiday. I didn't realize DH had me on speaker when I said "The selfish part of me thinks we could give him our life jackets and keep the newer ones." The friend laughed out loud and said it was still a generous offer, not at all selfish.

[roomtempmayo]

It kind of feels like I'm cheaping out on those kids but a new iPad is like €600 but our 8 your old Mini 2 can run the required software just as well so helping 8 kids is better than just one I'd say.

My understanding is that Mac's educational leasing arm routinely does what you did, it's just that most of us in the rich world don't see it since we're the first users of the products.  If a classroom in the Netherlands gets a bunch new iPads, three years later they're going to a middle income country like Brazil, then another few years later they'll go to the developing world.  This does not imply that Brazilian children are somehow lesser than Dutch children as everyone is getting perfectly good technology that surpasses their needs.

My source for this info is my institutional technology guy who insists on putting a brand new iMac on my desk every three years in spite of my protestations that the old one is fine.

So, good on you for helping some kids in need.

*Typed on an 11 year old MacBook

[reeshau]

helping 8 kids is better than just one I'd say.

This is the bottom line, to me.  It's a smart decision with money, just like other Mustachian decisions.  There are a lot of detailed pieces / justifications to it, but they all embellish maximum effectiveness for the generosity you have given.

The used tablets are fully functional: nothing is lost foe the kids in getting them.

The kids will destroy some of these, through carelessness.  There is less damage / less value lost in such am incident

You are repurposing the tablets, so they aren't landfilled, or simply recycled

Older machines are lesser targets for potential theft, for whatever that's worth

$60 dollars is within the reach of a lot of people, either themselves or for charities / others.  Spread the word and maybe more people will do the same.

[kite]

We don’t buy something brand new if a suitable used alternative exists. This is for ourselves. Our bed, mattress, underwear & bras are purchased new, as were a fraction of our other clothes..  But 90% of everything else we own was Freecycled, dumpster dived, hand-me-down, thrifted, home-made, inherited or bought second-hand. 
It’s as much about being frugal as it is about keeping stuff out of landfills.  Quite literally, all the furniture in my home besides my bed was acquired second hand. Area rugs, dishes, pots & pans. TV, Bose-Wave Radio & CD player, clothes drying racks, microwave, canning jars, patio furniture, flower pots, plant stands, umbrella, rabbit hutch, fencing around the chicken yard, Piano, guitars & other instruments. Everything was pre-owned. Even the iPad I’m typing this on was pre-owned. 

I’m a millionaire. I can certainly afford to pay retail for something new. But why overpay and consume more product & raw materials when that isn’t necessary?

Secondhand iPads for kids is exactly right.

[Dicey]

The math is easy: helping eight > helping one.

If you were a person who always bought the latest bells and whistles for yourself, but were donating used ones to these kids, that might have a slightly different cast, but you're not.

If you wish, you could say you got a good deal on surplus iPads, so you bought a few extras.

One of the things I love about my stepdaughter she likes thrifts as much as I do. Her daughter is getting a whole box of gently used books, a new looking stuffed unicorn, and a used t-shirt for her birthday. She's also getting a slug of cash added to her 529, but she doesn't need to know about that just yet.

[Zamboni]

I think it is wonderful that you bought ipads for the other children at the school.

I have one ipad that was gifted to me years ago (used because the first owner got a new one through work) It's Gen 1. Works fine.

[Cassie]

I think it’s great what you did and used is perfect for kids who will likely drop it, lose it, etc. I love that you were able to help so many kids.

[Alfred J Quack]

Hi all,

Thank you for your kind words and I do feel better reading it!

As for the dropping and damaging iPads, these are special needs kids so I included a kids-case with the set (which they also use at school). Unless they drop it screen down on a sharp corner it'll live. Even if it's damaged the case is reusable for another €60,- iPad :)

[Sibley]

I think it is entirely reasonable to be uncomfortable that children are being denied the tools they need to learn and grow. That is how we all should feel. If the kid needs an ipad to help with communication or learning then it's ridiculous that an insurance company is denying it. That's a fault of our society, and while no one person can change society, donating $1k of equipment which will help kids isn't a bad thing.

[Laura33]

IME it feels weird giving "charity" to people who are close to you.  It's easy for me to write a check to some national charity.  But when DH and I decided to give a big chunk of $$ to DS' middle school (which was "poorer" than the one in our town), I was distinctly uncomfortable with the recognition for it.  We were just trying to level an unfair playing field a bit; we had more resources than most everyone there, so we were trying to do our part to be a contributing member of the community.  But since most of the community couldn't do that, what we ended up doing was setting ourselves apart from everyone else -- which, in turn, always runs the risk of sliding into "they think they're better than us."

I read an article somewhat recently talking about how giving to someone else makes you like them more, and receiving from someone else makes you like them less (IIRC because of the implied obligation to return the favor).  It's counterintuitive to what you'd think.  But I think that's why I feel less comfortable giving within a small community where everyone knows everyone else than I do giving to some faceless national organization.  It's also why I prefer to give anonymously (my DH handled the first one, or that one would have been as well).

[mathlete]

Just wanted to chime in to say you did an awesome thing!