Author Topic: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money  (Read 17120 times)

DoubleDown

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Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« on: December 13, 2014, 09:32:27 AM »
The tipping thread makes me think about other ways in which advertisers or particular industries invent so-called "standards" that are 100% designed to separate you from your money, usually under guilt. The idea is to cast you as a cheapskate if you don't spend "at least the minimum amount," particularly when it comes to spending on others. What are some typical ones you've seen? Here are some that come to mind:

1. Tipping Creep (as related in the other thread) -- used to be 10-15%, then went to 15-20%, now it seems 20% is considered the "minimum"

2. Engagement Rings -- where in the world did the "3 Months of Your (Gross) Salary" supposed baseline come from other than the diamond industry itself? It's totally arbitrary, and very expensive. And of course, what guy is going to want to look like he's cheaping out on his beloved?

3. Mother's day gifts for SO's -- I might be wrong on this one, but it seemed like when I was a kid the idea of buying a Mother's Day gift for anyone but your own mother was completely foreign. It was not practiced at all. Now, a guy who does not recognize his wife or SO with a Mother's Day gift would be in big trouble.

4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

Any others?
« Last Edit: December 13, 2014, 09:47:52 AM by DoubleDown »

ChrisLansing

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2014, 09:46:50 AM »

3. Mother's day gifts for SO's -- I might be wrong on this one, but it seemed like when I was a kid the idea of buying a Mother's Day gift for anyone but your own mother was completely foreign. It was not practiced at all. Now, a guy who does not recognize his wife or SO with a Mother's Day gift would be in big trouble.



Not only big trouble, but the trouble can be compounded by saying "But honey, you're not my mother".     Don't ask how I know.   

bacchi

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2014, 09:55:33 AM »
4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

It is a miracle, after all.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/miracle-of-birth-occurs-for-83-billionth-time,775/

larmando

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2014, 10:06:41 AM »
2. Engagement Rings -- where in the world did the "3 Months of Your (Gross) Salary" supposed baseline come from other than the diamond industry itself? It's totally arbitrary, and very expensive. And of course, what guy is going to want to look like he's cheaping out on his beloved?

Gross? I guess we're lucky they didn't remind us to include bonus and other compensation.
They could have made it 1/4th of gross yearly income! I also guess this helps you getting married early, before you get a too big salary! (just kidding, luckily I just decided not to follow this custom and I still got married. If she had asked for a particular price of ring clearly we wouldn't have been a match)

4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

Yeah.... no! :) (have no children yet, but if I give a present it will for sure be to her, not to the diamond industry)


MB1443

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2014, 10:13:05 AM »
4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

It is a miracle, after all.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/miracle-of-birth-occurs-for-83-billionth-time,775/

Clearly you aren't a woman.  To most women it seems like a miracle to survive such an experience. 

MoneyCat

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2014, 10:20:58 AM »
I only tip 20% because I know how little servers get paid and I try to make up for some of the customers who don't tip because they see servers as inferior to them.  It's a real problem.

MrFancypants

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2014, 10:24:48 AM »
I only tip 20% because I know how little servers get paid and I try to make up for some of the customers who don't tip because they see servers as inferior to them.  It's a real problem.

Yeah, we don't eat out too much, but if the service is acceptable we always try to tip well out of kindness.

I usually tip my barber very generously.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2014, 10:30:52 AM »
I hate tipping anything other than servers, and even then I would prefer to go to a restaurant if they paid their servers decent wages like almost all the rest of the first world.

Never even heard of #3 or #4.

Engagement ring for my lovely wife was about one week's income at a manual labor job. She said yes. 'Nuff said :P

kscubz

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2014, 10:35:40 AM »
4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

It is a miracle, after all.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/miracle-of-birth-occurs-for-83-billionth-time,775/

Clearly you aren't a woman.  To most women it seems like a miracle to survive such an experience.


most women are delusional

Inkedup

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2014, 10:44:11 AM »
I rarely go out to eat these days, but when I do I leave generous tips *unless* the service is dismal (i.e. waitstaff treat me like a pain in their ass because I am a single diner and do not feel like sitting at the bar [sometimes I do, but other times I really prefer a table]). Although I resent the restaurant industry practice of requiring customers to pay for both food and their employees' salaries, I'm not going to stiff anyone unless they deserve it. 

MB1443

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2014, 10:55:23 AM »
4. "Birthing Gifts" (especially diamond earrings) -- Another practice that was unknown to me in younger days, and then seemed to creep out of nowhere. I have no idea where it came from, but more and more prevalent is the idea that you need to give your wife/SO a gift when she bears a child -- especially diamond earrings, which seems to be a custom of sorts. WTF?

It is a miracle, after all.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/miracle-of-birth-occurs-for-83-billionth-time,775/

Clearly you aren't a woman.  To most women it seems like a miracle to survive such an experience.


most women are delusional

Good thing you're married to a man then! 

thepokercab

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2014, 11:02:40 AM »
Two things have been coming up with me recently with kids:

1) Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.  And of course, we're invited to each and every party and then need to get a gift.  Is this really normal?  I seem to remember having maybe one birthday party growing up.  Are they really supposed to be a yearly thing now?  Does no one just have a quiet little birthday celebration at home anymore? I'm supposed to spend money each year on throwing a party for my kid, and then also buy gifts for another 10 friends throughout the year.  Seems excessive. 

2) End of year gift for preK/ Kindergarten teacher.  Has this always been a thing?  I seem to remember maybe making a card or something for a teacher to say thank you at years' end.  But it seems like the normal is to get the teachers more, like gift cards, etc.. Don't get me wrong, I love our teachers, but are all the parents really supposed to get them a Target/Best Buy/Starbucks gift card at year end?  Again, maybe that's always been the case but just seems weird to me.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2014, 11:08:09 AM »
Having to supplement schools' budgets by having fundraisers and sales and whatnot.

Thegoblinchief

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2014, 11:09:20 AM »
Two things have been coming up with me recently with kids:

1) Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.  And of course, we're invited to each and every party and then need to get a gift.  Is this really normal?  I seem to remember having maybe one birthday party growing up.  Are they really supposed to be a yearly thing now?  Does no one just have a quiet little birthday celebration at home anymore? I'm supposed to spend money each year on throwing a party for my kid, and then also buy gifts for another 10 friends throughout the year.  Seems excessive. 

2) End of year gift for preK/ Kindergarten teacher.  Has this always been a thing?  I seem to remember maybe making a card or something for a teacher to say thank you at years' end.  But it seems like the normal is to get the teachers more, like gift cards, etc.. Don't get me wrong, I love our teachers, but are all the parents really supposed to get them a Target/Best Buy/Starbucks gift card at year end?  Again, maybe that's always been the case but just seems weird to me.

Before I started homeschooling, my kids got invited to plenty of parties. We just never went. Ditto for the teacher gifts. Teacher gifts were sort of a thing when I was a kid, but my parents never did it. Never have had any issues or weird looks.

Khaetra

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2014, 11:28:06 AM »

Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.  And of course, we're invited to each and every party and then need to get a gift.  Is this really normal?  I seem to remember having maybe one birthday party growing up.  Are they really supposed to be a yearly thing now?  Does no one just have a quiet little birthday celebration at home anymore? I'm supposed to spend money each year on throwing a party for my kid, and then also buy gifts for another 10 friends throughout the year.  Seems excessive. 

Not only a party every year, but it seems like (from what I've read elsewhere) all the kids that come to the party also must be given some kind of goodie bag to take home.  I'd love to facepunch whoever came up with that idea.

lizzie

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #15 on: December 13, 2014, 11:36:20 AM »
1) Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.

This remind me of Dave Barry's "Homes and Other Black Holes":

"If you have school-age children, by far the most important factor in selecting a neighborhood is, of course, the proximity to the nearest Toys Backwards R Us store. You will be spending a great deal of your time and disposable income there, because from kindergarten through about sixth grade, the average child attends approximately 36,500 birthday parties. Your child will go through a period, usually around first grade, when his classmates will have as many as six birthdays per year."

iris lily

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #16 on: December 13, 2014, 11:43:17 AM »
Most everything in the Big White Wedding industry. But my special face punches go to these

*out of town vacations couched as bachelorette parties--really? I am going to spend thousands to fly in an airplane to another city in order to get drunk and act silly?

* I'm not keen on destination weddings where someone else plans my vacation as to where and when I'll take it. No, I don't think so. So I would avoid those

* "favors" of cheap plastic crap from China

* a gaggle of bridal attendants--parties of 6 - 12 bridesmaids ratchets up the complexity and expense of the entire wedding event. 

* this one doesn't cost anything, it's just a crazy bride brain standard: the strange obsession some brides have about their guests not wearing white to their special princess party. Sure, I realize that it's an etiquette proscription that's based on photographic issue for the person in white stands out, but do they? Not from what I've seen. Does the bride actually think her fiance will gravitate toward the wrong woman if others wear white? On Wedding  Bee there was one such discussion where someone asked about wearing a dress with white polka dots to a wedding and she was counseled to "measure the polka dots." yes, measure the diameter of the dots. WTF.

Allie

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #17 on: December 13, 2014, 11:46:10 AM »
I read an article a while back about how stores and marketers will create a very low cost product and make the packaging obvious - bright, gaudy, loudly lettered - as a bargain brand or make you have to specially request it in a manner that is obvious to other customers.  Then they place an identical product at a slightly higher cost but with a fancier package close by. 

Apparently, most people who can afford to pay the little bit more will choose to do so to avoid the shame of being seen as poor or cheap and the seller can still capture the money of people who can genuinely not afford to pay more.

Thankfully, I have no shame.  Unfortunately, there are tons of people out there paying the extra dollar or two to get a staple in a fancy package.

ketchup

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #18 on: December 13, 2014, 11:53:46 AM »
I overtip because it's what I do.

The rest of that stuff is dumb.  I pretty much dislike any form of gifts (giving or receiving).  I'll still buy an engagement ring, but when that rolls around, it'll be nowhere near 3 months' pay.  It'll still be something nice, but not insanely expensive.

Inkedup

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #19 on: December 13, 2014, 12:03:13 PM »
Maybe it's just me, but if I ever got engaged, I would tell my future spouse not to get me a ring. It's not that I'm anti-romantic, but I'd rather pool our $ towards something nice for the house. Plus...owning/wearing an expensive rock (even a small one) would make me nervous!

Gin1984

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #20 on: December 13, 2014, 12:19:12 PM »
Two things have been coming up with me recently with kids:

1) Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.  And of course, we're invited to each and every party and then need to get a gift.  Is this really normal?  I seem to remember having maybe one birthday party growing up.  Are they really supposed to be a yearly thing now?  Does no one just have a quiet little birthday celebration at home anymore? I'm supposed to spend money each year on throwing a party for my kid, and then also buy gifts for another 10 friends throughout the year.  Seems excessive. 

2) End of year gift for preK/ Kindergarten teacher.  Has this always been a thing?  I seem to remember maybe making a card or something for a teacher to say thank you at years' end.  But it seems like the normal is to get the teachers more, like gift cards, etc.. Don't get me wrong, I love our teachers, but are all the parents really supposed to get them a Target/Best Buy/Starbucks gift card at year end?  Again, maybe that's always been the case but just seems weird to me.
Public school teachers are spending more and more of their own on supplies, with no increase in pay.  I think giving them gift cards is cheaper than you paying all the supplies they are.

Bob W

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #21 on: December 13, 2014, 12:37:06 PM »
Don't get me started!  Almost everything is the expectation game.   Expected to have a big nice house and clown car.  Expected to throw away food after its "best by" date.  Expected to buy a closet full of hygiene, cosmetic, cleaning products.  Expected to own a huge wardrobe.   Expected to sell $1000 worth of $20 a bag popcorn for Cub Scouts. 

Expected to go out to dinner with friends.  Expected to visit relatives frequently. Expected to give wedding,  graduation,  birthday, office, birth,  birthday,  shower,  valintines,  xmas,  anniversary, easter, gifts.

The list is really endless!   DeBeers was pure genius with their engagement marketing though.  Since they control over 90% of the Diamond supply they can charge whatever they like and there is no correlation between mining costs and diamond costs. 

So if you're in the market for a diamond ring,  go with a nice CZ ring.  Even the pros can't tell the difference.   Diamonds last forever but CS rings last only 300 years though! lol

sekritdino

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #22 on: December 13, 2014, 02:28:27 PM »
Ugh engagement rings. I told my fiance it would be super sexy if he got me Vanguard index funds but he insisted on a ring. But we were smart. He found be an awesome lab created sapphire online for about $13. When j looked at certain jewelry websites, the same lab created sapphire was ONE HUNDRED TIMES AS MUCH! I almost pooped myself when I saw that. We went with the cheap and beautiful one and had it set in a simple setting that I like very much.

Sunnymo

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #23 on: December 13, 2014, 04:07:00 PM »
I do enjoy my jewellery but I wanted to comment on two of these 'standards'...

1. Engagement rings - My husband is quite well paid but we did not go in for the 'three times monthly salary' 'standard'. It cost less than one month's net salary and suits me just fine and is in proportion to my hand. If he had fallen in to this trap the ring would have been over the top and even I would have been so worried about wearing it and it would have been so out of proportion to me and our lifestyle.

2. Birthing Gifts or 'push presents'. Many years ago these were standard but not named as such. The eternity ring was often given at the birth of the first child but I agree that a high value gift at each birth is too much. I have heard of new cars as a push present and that is just ridiculous. However, in the spirit of honesty I will say the following: I have just found out I am pregnant for what is likely to be the only time. This is at age 44 and after 6 rounds of IVF ( very un-mustachian but in Australia the public health system covers many of the costs). I have mentioned that an eternity ring would be very much appreciated, however anything more will not.

clifp

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #24 on: December 13, 2014, 04:54:40 PM »
The tipping thread makes me think about other ways in which advertisers or particular industries invent so-called "standards" that are 100% designed to separate you from your money, usually under guilt. The idea is to cast you as a cheapskate if you don't spend "at least the minimum amount," particularly when it comes to spending on others. What are some typical ones you've seen? Here are some that come to mind:


2. Engagement Rings -- where in the world did the "3 Months of Your (Gross) Salary" supposed baseline come from other than the diamond industry itself? It's totally arbitrary, and very expensive. And of course, what guy is going to want to look like he's cheaping out on his beloved?



I always figured that one of the side benefits of retiring early was that I'd save a fortune if I ever get married.  3 months salary for me is zero. Of course this may explain while I'm not married.

JetBlast

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #25 on: December 13, 2014, 07:34:57 PM »

2. Engagement Rings -- where in the world did the "3 Months of Your (Gross) Salary" supposed baseline come from other than the diamond industry itself? It's totally arbitrary, and very expensive. And of course, what guy is going to want to look like he's cheaping out on his beloved?

I feel like this has crept too. Didn't it used to be two months?

josstache

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #26 on: December 13, 2014, 08:26:43 PM »
If you have a divorced/widowed mother or grandmother, hand-me-down engagement and wedding rings have more sentimental value and cost nothing.  The most mustachian thing to do would be to sell those and buy index funds, but diamonds have low resale value, so I'm okay with keeping them so long as someone else bought it.

GizmoTX

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #27 on: December 13, 2014, 08:49:17 PM »
I have just found out I am pregnant for what is likely to be the only time. This is at age 44 and after 6 rounds of IVF ( very un-mustachian but in Australia the public health system covers many of the costs). I have mentioned that an eternity ring would be very much appreciated, however anything more will not.

Funny you should mention this. I finally became pregnant at age 45 after much infertility treatment, & fortunately had a healthy son, now 21. After his birth, DH gave me an eternity ring which I really appreciated.

I wish you well on your journey. It helped me to take just one week at a time, because I knew we wouldn't get a second chance.

larmando

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #28 on: December 13, 2014, 10:51:37 PM »
Reading the Wikipedia entry for eternity rings they seem a worse scam than engagement rings.

Also seeing how a lot of people over tip to compensate for others one may think under tipping is not so bad :p (just kidding)


larmando

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #29 on: December 13, 2014, 10:54:03 PM »
If you have a divorced/widowed mother or grandmother, hand-me-down engagement and wedding rings have more sentimental value and cost nothing.  The most mustachian thing to do would be to sell those and buy index funds, but diamonds have low resale value, so I'm okay with keeping them so long as someone else bought it.
Yes. This. I did that and it was perfect. Why buying, aren't there enough diamonds in families already since last generation?


Cpa Cat

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #30 on: December 13, 2014, 11:05:53 PM »

Birthday parties. EVERY SINGLE FRIEND of my daughter has a birthday party, and it seems like they do it every year.  And of course, we're invited to each and every party and then need to get a gift.  Is this really normal?  I seem to remember having maybe one birthday party growing up.  Are they really supposed to be a yearly thing now?  Does no one just have a quiet little birthday celebration at home anymore? I'm supposed to spend money each year on throwing a party for my kid, and then also buy gifts for another 10 friends throughout the year.  Seems excessive. 

Not only a party every year, but it seems like (from what I've read elsewhere) all the kids that come to the party also must be given some kind of goodie bag to take home.  I'd love to facepunch whoever came up with that idea.

I think it's normal. I remember having a birthday party every year. My mom limited me to six guests and she gave them goodie bags. I recall they usually had a pencil and some stickers. If she hadn't heard of the classmate who was inviting me to their party, I didn't go though.

As I got older, the birthday parties turned into sleep overs/movie nights.

I recall once going to a party where the girl had 30 girls invited to a New Kids on the Block themed sleepover party. Even as a child, I knew that was wrong.

fantabulous

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #31 on: December 14, 2014, 12:29:33 AM »
I'd be so happy if a guy proposed to me by opening a comically large black velvety ring box to reveal an order of onion rings and no actual jewelry.

rocketpj

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #32 on: December 14, 2014, 01:15:15 AM »
About 98% of the insanity associated with weddings is basically a cash making racket.  The dress, the cake, the catering, the big splendiferous party with an open bar (or you are cheap), the honeymoon in an exotic locale.

We got married pre-mustache, but even still I was amazed at the number of weird things that came up.  One relative was aghast and wanted us to reprint the invitations because her name was above mine (or was it the other way around?).  On the other hand, I married into a Greek family and I made more money on my wedding day than on any single day before or since.

But almost more than weddings, nothing is a worse racket than babies.  Designer clothes that they will literally grow out of in two weeks.  'Must have' baby minding items that become obsolete as soon as the kid rolls over the first time.  Aspirational and expensive 'running' strollers.  And who the hell came up with the idea of a 'toddler' bed.  If the kid is too big for a crib put him in a twin sized bed and stop shopping until he moves out.  Why buy a bed for 1 year, 2 at most?  Has anyone, ever in the history of humanity, felt like their bed was too big to sleep on?




clifp

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #33 on: December 14, 2014, 01:49:45 AM »
I'd be so happy if a guy proposed to me by opening a comically large black velvety ring box to reveal an order of onion rings and no actual jewelry.

I really like the huge big box with onion rings is great but I'd never have the balls to do that.
How about Vanguard statement with  in your name? Or would a wad of $100 arrange as ring? 

larmando

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #34 on: December 14, 2014, 02:56:03 AM »
How about Vanguard statement with  in your name? Or would a wad of $100 arrange as ring?

Distasteful! Are we trying to buy brides from themselves or what? (yeah, of course, better than buying them from their fathers, but still!!)

LennStar

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #35 on: December 14, 2014, 04:04:43 AM »
Valentine day.

In Japan it has become custom that girls present chocolade to the boys... and bc of this the industry also invented "white day" - boys give back white chocolade to the girls.

Here in germany its about flowers. The advertisement spam for flowers is ridiculous.

Gin1984

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #36 on: December 14, 2014, 07:22:13 AM »
If you have a divorced/widowed mother or grandmother, hand-me-down engagement and wedding rings have more sentimental value and cost nothing.  The most mustachian thing to do would be to sell those and buy index funds, but diamonds have low resale value, so I'm okay with keeping them so long as someone else bought it.
Yes. This. I did that and it was perfect. Why buying, aren't there enough diamonds in families already since last generation?
Some of us did not have family members with diamonds.

justajane

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #37 on: December 14, 2014, 07:41:35 AM »
It annoys me that family have an expectation that #1 I remember their anniversary every year and #2 I send them a card. I don't mean to hurt feelings, but I've told them multiple times that I don't expect them to acknowledge ours, nor will I do so for theirs. In my opinion, anniversaries are  strictly for the couple themselves to celebrate.

When I told my mom this, she said, "Well, our marriage is why you exist." Yeah, and isn't that why I celebrate Mother's and Father's day?

The whole card culture in general is so stupid. I have three kids, and every time they have a birthday, I get this huge stack of $3-$4 cards. Only one of my kids can even read yet, and that just happened in the last year. I feel guilty recycling them all, but I only keep the ones that actually have heartfelt notes on them, not the ones that are just signed.

We had a big family birthday party this year (everyone's birthday in our family is in one month except for mine), and we did say "no gifts" for the party. This helped tremendously, but people still felt the need to bring a useless card to the gathering. I know, wah, wah, wah. People care about us. My point isn't to complain about that but the financial waste that all that cardstock represents.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #38 on: December 14, 2014, 08:03:26 AM »
Here it is still 10-15% (I think, I don't eat out much) because servers get the minimum wage, at least. Although this post from a Montreal waiter gives us all food for thought, doesn't it?  At least the government is only assuming 8% (probably allowing for customers who did not tip).
Oh, Tim Horton's pays more, but then there is no tip expectation there.

"You have to know that in Québec, waiters are getting taxed on their sell. Tips is actually INCLUDE in their revenues.
Here an example.

If I sell for 1000$ one night (they know it because of the computer is all keeping track of it),
They will assume I did 8% in tip.
So on my paid check it will appear as INCOMES and I will be paying tax accordingly.
Let said I work 4 hours. 4hours x 8.50 (minimum wage is LOWER for people with tips) = 34$ + 80$ = 104$. I will paid INCOME TAXES on the whole 104$.
IF you dont leave me tips I STILL paid taxes on the moneay you didnt gave me.

The governement is using those number to fix how much money I must paid in INCOME TAXES
. "

I only tip 20% because I know how little servers get paid and I try to make up for some of the customers who don't tip because they see servers as inferior to them.  It's a real problem.

rocketpj

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #39 on: December 14, 2014, 09:25:52 AM »
I have always just assumed the tip is part of the price of eating out.  Here in BC the standard is 15%, but with the advent of interac machines the 15% tends to be on the total (tax included) rather than the subtotal (which is what we used to tip on).  That said, if the bill is very small I just round up to $2 or $3.

I really don`t understand the issue with tipping.  It is a part of the cost, the waiters are working their asses off - it is one of the hardest jobs out there.  I would be a terrible server - too crusty - so I respect those who do. 

MrFancypants

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #40 on: December 14, 2014, 09:59:05 AM »
I have always just assumed the tip is part of the price of eating out.  Here in BC the standard is 15%, but with the advent of interac machines the 15% tends to be on the total (tax included) rather than the subtotal (which is what we used to tip on).  That said, if the bill is very small I just round up to $2 or $3.

I really don`t understand the issue with tipping.  It is a part of the cost, the waiters are working their asses off - it is one of the hardest jobs out there.  I would be a terrible server - too crusty - so I respect those who do.

Yeah, same here.  The increased cost factors into any decision to eat out in the first place.

Spork

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #41 on: December 14, 2014, 10:24:08 AM »
I only tip 20% because I know how little servers get paid and I try to make up for some of the customers who don't tip because they see servers as inferior to them.  It's a real problem.

Yeah, we don't eat out too much, but if the service is acceptable we always try to tip well out of kindness.

I usually tip my barber very generously.

I don't tip my barber at all.   But I sleep with her.  Maybe thats why she was giving me the angry eyes this morning.

Spork

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #42 on: December 14, 2014, 10:31:09 AM »

* I'm not keen on destination weddings where someone else plans my vacation as to where and when I'll take it. No, I don't think so. So I would avoid those


Normally, I'd agree with this 100%.  But my niece is doing one of these... and seems to be doing it in a way that (for her anyway) seems quite thrifty.  It has cut down the costs of everything involved, partly by being in a very low cost of living country and partly because it forces you to make deep cuts in the invite list.  (I think you end up inviting the people you wanted to invite instead of just "everyone you've ever met.")

but yes: it pushes a bit of the cost off on the wedding invitees.  And in this one case: I'm planning on embracing it.

LalsConstant

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #43 on: December 14, 2014, 10:34:06 AM »
If you have a divorced/widowed mother or grandmother, hand-me-down engagement and wedding rings have more sentimental value and cost nothing.  The most mustachian thing to do would be to sell those and buy index funds, but diamonds have low resale value, so I'm okay with keeping them so long as someone else bought it.
Yes. This. I did that and it was perfect. Why buying, aren't there enough diamonds in families already since last generation?
Some of us did not have family members with diamonds.

Also, just random remark here, if Mom or Grandma has 2 (grand)sons and we're following all the traditional rules of this silly social convention where they must provide said ring, what are the sons to do, split the existing ring?

Or in my family's case, after our father passed, my sister acquired our parent's wedding bands and engagement ring and had a jeweler mount them concentrically inside each other (it's hard to describe) and created a pendant she wears every day.  The point being, even if you did have a source of a hand me down, there's not necessarily enough to go 'round.

stuckinmn

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #44 on: December 14, 2014, 10:42:36 AM »


I don't tip my barber at all.   But I sleep with her.  Maybe thats why she was giving me the angry eyes this morning.
[/quote]

In this case, you should give her more than just the tip.

Middlesbrough

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #45 on: December 14, 2014, 12:16:44 PM »


I don't tip my barber at all.   But I sleep with her.  Maybe thats why she was giving me the angry eyes this morning.

In this case, you should give her more than just the tip.
[/quote]
Hey-O!

domustachesgrowinhouston

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #46 on: December 14, 2014, 12:47:10 PM »
The percentage thing on tipping bugs me sometimes. I used to frequent a diner that had a great eggs, biscuits and coffee breakfast that cost $2.50 (late 90's). I would go about once a month and usually ended up in a weird upside down argument over the tip, i would pay $5, 2.50 for the meal and $2.50 for the tip. About half the time the server would tell me i left too much. I would then explain that if i had gone to Dennys or some other diner, i would have paid a lot more for breakfast and been expected to leave a larger tip, percentage-wise, but she did just as much work as the other server would have, so tipping her only $0.50 didnt make any sense, especially since the food and service was usually better then the local Dennys.

As a general rule, i tip a minimum of $5 these days on those occassions when im feeling too lazy to get my own food.

ChrisLansing

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #47 on: December 14, 2014, 12:56:53 PM »
Having to supplement schools' budgets by having fundraisers and sales and whatnot.

This is ridiculous.   Schools should be properly funded. 

The Army, Navy and AF should have to hold bake sales when they want more equipment.   

iris lily

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #48 on: December 14, 2014, 12:58:48 PM »
Oh yeah, besides weddings, there are funerals.

It's common in certain social-economic levels and cultures to pass the hat to gather enough money for a funeral. Even though the crematorium down the street from me can do the job for under $600, it is considered necessary to throw a big splashy funeral costing thousands, otherwise it looks as though no one cares.

This St. Louis family is asking for $10,000:

http://www.gofundme.com/i5weu8

and then there is this young man in St. Louis, gunned down (not by a cop! just the usual actors) --and they want a more modest $3,000.

http://www.gofundme.com/ik8bb0

Cultural norms like this keep poor people poor.

One of my employees related a tale of woe about burying her sister, she had no money to give her a proper send off, she went to the city's social services bureau to ask for help and there is no program for that, and she was outraged at the "lack of help" for this situation. Sigh. The entitlement mentality.
« Last Edit: December 14, 2014, 01:33:30 PM by iris lily »

Spork

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Re: Ridiculous Industry "Standards" Designed to Take Your Money
« Reply #49 on: December 14, 2014, 01:07:16 PM »
Okay, I absolutely hate the guilt-me-into-an-expensive-funeral thing. 

Have a nice party to remember me?  Sure.  I'd even say spring for beers and whiskey....  Laugh at dumb things I did.  Play a few old Rush songs...

But DO NOT tie up a 4x6 ft plot of land for me.  DO NOT buy a multithousand dollar hermetically sealed chamber.  And PLEASE don't let the last memories of me be in a church.