Whenever I feel tempted to judge others (which mostly means my siblings and in-laws) I try to remember that DH and I are the exception in our families, not the rule. And as JestJes mentioned, had this happened in the past it could have been devastating for us. Not in 2008, but at any time prior to about 1998. In 1997 we had a mortgage, a second, the remainder of a student loan, and more than 25K in credit card debt. We were living paycheck to paycheck, but we thought we were doing fine because we could always make our payments on time.
Many people, myself included, didn't grow up with examples of good financial stewardship. Unexpected car repairs could mean the electric bill couldn't get paid on time, and we'd have to drive over and pay it after we received a shut off notice. Paying that bill, even late, might mean my parents would have to pay the mortgage late, incurring late fees and the overnight postage fees. It was a constant circle, and it wasn't because we were living higher than we should have been. Clothing came from thrift stores and yard sales. We didn't eat in restaurants or go to the movies (indeed, Covid-19 stay-at-home orders have brought me vividly back to the weekends of my youth, when we never went anywhere). We didn't have cable TV. We didn't buy books and such. We didn't have a gardener or house cleaner (that's what kids were for). We never had a new car, only used cars that would break down, because even the used cars had to come from some shady dealer who charged sky high interest. I didn't get a class ring, and there were a couple of years we couldn't afford the yearbook. My mother was frugal to the max.
(At one point, we spent a year living in a roach and rat infested tenement, receiving welfare, food stamps, and MediCal.)
Children who live like this don't know about saving and investing. Indeed, when my mother taught me to balance a check book, she taught me the sums in reverse because they were always into the overdraft. My parents never invested money, not in CDs or the stock market. It's no wonder DH and thought being able to pay our bills on time was financial success -- for our families of origin, it would have been. Unfortunately, most of our siblings can't even do that much.
In the current situation, I offer sympathy (along the lines of "that sounds tough" and "I'm sorry you have it so hard right now") , and ideas if I'm asked. They know we are financially stable. They know we have a higher income, but probably have no real clue how much higher, because we don't live that way. One sibling seriously needs to get a job, and needs to accept that children in the double digit years will be okay without a stay-at-home parent. But I won't be the one to say it, because I haven't been asked. I feel sad that so many people -- not just family members -- think there is no other way to live. I've heard from the lips of my own mother the idea that we're going to die in debt anyway, so why deny ourselves something so normal as Christmas gifts -- and I've heard it in the next generation as well.
