Practicality vs Passion and fulfilment

[frugalmaybe]

So I'm copying the same intro that I posted to the "introduce yourself" thread, because I'm interested in feedback and it doesn't look like that really happens there...


Just found this site today. Read the first few posts, and it resonated a bit as I'm in my 40s now, have maxed out my 401k and have a lot of disposable income, but I spend too much and have only just started thinking about investing strategies.

Some facts about me, that are probably relevant(but nonetheless will be organized randomly here):
- I live in a very, very expensive part of a very, very expensive city. I.e. my rent is just under 3k/month for a one bedroom. But it's extremely important to me to have a comfortable apartment (and this one's close to work). My apartment is actually a pretty good deal as it's rent stabilized and it's difficult to find a cheaper apartment of similar size even 45 minutes further outside the city center. And also...
- I'm planning to move out of this area within a year or two
- I think of myself as frugal compared to my coworkers and friends in the same profession in this city, but i still spend 2k a year on clothes, probably 5-7k on food per year, and my passion is travel so I spend about 10k-ish a year on that. I generally don't care about "prestige" when I buy things, but I do care about style with clothes--so I shop at h&m and buy timex watches. With other stuff, I focus on value...when I owned a car it was a subaru and my laptops are always $400 wintel.
- My salary is well above the median for my profession, but other than the 401k i'm not really saving money.
- I'm single
- I don't own a car
- When i moved to this apartment my salary was 60k a year lower (gross) and my rent was 500/month lower. I don't remember how much I was putting into 401k then, but say i wasn't saving any, then my salary was like 42k lower gross. Which is like 28k net. which is a little over 2.3k a month. So I could be saving at least 1800/month after taxes, but somehow i'm not :)
- I chose a very practical career, and it has always felt like the wrong "calling" but I've tried to make the best of it and when I like my coworkers and my work environment I like my job, despite not loving the work.


I have a lot of personal goals, some of which have nothing to do with money, and some that do. But some of the big ones have a huge opportunity cost as I am definitely planning to go back to school. So I'm trying to figure out how to make non-disastrous financial decisions without ignoring my "heart".

The education would take three years so the opportunity cost is high, given my current salary (and savings potential), but the income potential for the other profession is essentially identical (based on bls.gov salary data), though  i'd be starting over from entry level, so there is an opportunity cost with the lost seniority. And the cost for the degree is 50k + 3 years of living expenses.

In the near term, I'm beginning to look at after-tax investing...

That's about it, I guess. There are obviously some opportunities for me to save money with food and travel, and I've begun to take some steps in that direction. But the big issue is really going to back to school. There's no financial benefit to doing it, but it's pretty important to me. So I'm doing a lot of soul-searching with that.

Anyone else in a similar situation?

[marty998]

Not really sure why you are doing the course if it won't result in a bump in salary...

If you are following your passion you will have to eat the costs - start saving and don't worry about investing if you need to pay for it + your expensive living costs...

[UKMustache]

i still spend 2k a year on clothes, probably 5-7k on food per year, and my passion is travel so I spend about 10k-ish a year on that

So I could be saving at least 1800/month after taxes, but somehow i'm not :)

I think you've answered your own question.

[dreams_and_discoveries]

What's the end goal? What would make you happy? What do you want to save for? Do you want to retire early?

Have you considered putting off the course until you are FI?  It sounds like you could be underestimating the opportunity cost, as well as the course fees, 3 years living expenses, you've got a potential lot of years at a lower level until you work your way up to a similar seniority - are you 20 years in now?

[Bertram]

Well, there's a lot of justifications in your post about the expenses you do have. I think this is pretty normal. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong, it's a personal value decision. There's a famous saying by a former soccer star here in Germany who said " A lot of the money I earned in my career I spent on cars and women, the rest I just squandered". The message being that it's always a personal decision what is perceived as "squandering" and what is perceived as "worth it" in your own value system.

Then there's the old joke about the Zen master visiting New York City who goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."  The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen master, who pays with a $20 bill.
The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it. "Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

So... if you feel all your expenses are justified and making any changes to them are perceived as horrible/ not doable / not wirth it... you are not ready for change yet. Maybe you have not thought about your long-terms goals yet, so you're unsure what it is you are actually weighing against each other. Maybe you just have trouble getting in touch with your future selfs, try self-dialog with your former selfs first. Maybe you have trouble perceiving the fleetingness of what your life is like, happened to me too when I had a decade where I was on a roll, it feels like you can take a lot of things for granted (awesome people at work, super interesting projects, "much more income" than you need, good health etc.), and it's only when a couple things start to go south that you really start reflecting on what is a given (very little), and what might change in which ways tomorrow.

Cannot solve everything  at once. I keep thinking about the big things/ideas/plans, but at the same time try to make little changes to nudge things in a better direction. Works for me, I feel a lot in control, don't feel overwhelmed or as if I am forcing myself to do anything, and still keep making progress towards a better future more in line with my long term goals. But everybody is different, some people need that big turnaround/intervention thing to get motivated. Find out what works for your, and most importantly just start doing, rather than overthinking/justifying why things are the way they are. It never has to be a certain way, it's always your choice that things are the way they are (if you got reasonable income and reasonable freedom to make choices).

[mancityfan]

Well, there's a lot of justifications in your post about the expenses you do have. I think this is pretty normal. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong, it's a personal value decision. There's a famous saying by a former soccer star here in Germany who said " A lot of the money I earned in my career I spent on cars and women, the rest I just squandered".

off topic sorry, but that quote is from George Best. Northern Ireland's greatest ever player.