you are totally being critical, but if it helps others learn, I'm cool with that, no worries.
This post missed the point I was making, so I'll reframe it for the benefit of other posters.
Behavioral economics says that most people act irrationally even though they think they act rationally, and they weigh loss as twice as great as gain, so they are more likely to buy when stocks are high and sell when stocks are low, the exact opposite of what they should do.
The issue I raised for you is that because of your financial situation, you're less affected by the outcome of the stock market (i.e., your financial well being won't depend on it), so therefore it's easier for you to be rational about investing.
The average person does not think like that, and that is likely to be exacerbated by large stock swings involving money that people need for their retirement portfolio. The problem then is that the person who diligently saves $300k in their stock portfolio in lieu of paying down the $200k mortgage may panic when the market drops 50% and then sell for fear of losing even more when they could have paid off their house.
The "math" approach is contradictory to the way people actually operate. One possibility is that people can so internalize the point that they will act correctly in the future when their instincts tell them to do the opposite. That's what you advise, and it's definitely the preferred first choice. Along with that is the possibility that individuals will develop an investor policy statement that they will try to stick to even though their instincts tell them something different. But a third possibility is that they need something more conservative to help them be more immune to their instincts and therefore not make bad decisions in the face of market volatility.
It doesn't do people any good to tell them just to do math if they don't fully internalize it and will then mess it up later. When you make that point--without acknowledging the data on how people actually act, and without acknowledging the way in which it's significantly easier for you to be risk neutral than other people--I believe it does people a disservice.
After all, if you have $10 million and only need $1 million to live, you don't really care all that much if you could potentially lose $1 million. If you have $1 million and need $1 million to live, you care very much, and the normal instincts to try to protect against loss are going to kick in much harder.
It's the same reason that I find it easy to put $5k in the market every couple weeks even when the market seems overvalued, but someone investing their first $5k finds it much, much harder. It's why you and I can have over $1 million in the market without selling each day even though the market could drop 20% tomorrow, but the person who just got a windfall or sold a house is so much more hesitant to lump sum the money into the market because of the same fear.
People need to understand those dynamics when developing an investment strategy. And we need to account for those dynamics in the advice that we give.
I'm not sure the other points need a response to be constructive, but just in case, here are the quick answers.
(1) I mentioned your financial situation--including husband working--because it shows that your financial well-being does not hinge on market fluctuations, which makes it easier for you to react rationally to the market. There is zero real risk that you will ever run out of money, and that makes rational investing much easier to do. Not everyone is in the same boat.
(2) I mentioned the paid off house because it runs counter to the standard "math" advice that all money should be invested earning the highest rate of return it can, which is not being done if you don't currently have a mortgage on your property given the interest rates. It also plays into the idea that it's easier to be a rational investor when your debts (including mortgage) are paid off.
(3) You had claimed elsewhere that you had money sitting on the sideline waiting to buy if the market dropped. Another key "math" point (that's my shorthand for rational analysis) is not to time the market, and to trust it to perform over the long haul consistent with average returns. That's the whole basis for why someone should invest in the market rather than get a guaranteed 3% or 4% by prepaying their mortgage. If we're going to allow for market timing, then we have to also allow for the belief that people should pre-pay a mortgage "for now" because the market seems really over-valued, etc., and there's no way that is going to lead to consistent, rational performance.