Patience

[Old Ball Coach]

Hey all!

I'm still learning and working my way through all this FI information. I've never been a big spender, but I've also never been a big saver either. My wife and I have always had some credit card debt and I'm trying to crunch numbers and work our way to FI. We have always contributed to her 401k and my 403b (and I'll get a good teacher's pension at 66).

My problem is this: I have the numbers worked out and we are on our way to being debt free (besides a mortgage) within a year. I guess my problem is that I'm a very "busy" guy in the sense that I don't have a lot of patience. I'm always on the move and doing something. Since I've really gotten into the investing and debt busting mindset, I find myself checking accounts daily or even multiple times a day. I can't wait to make that next payment on a card or transfer to a savings account. Anyone have any advice?

And yes, I do have a side hustle as a cook/bartender to "pass" the time. And I also have to run my 15 and 13 year old girls to their events as well. Am I just a natural "worrier/thinker" and have to deal with it?

Thanks for reading my rambling writing!

[sui generis]

If you are relatively new to this community and info, I'm not surprised that your finances are on your mind all the time.  It's a natural human reaction when fascinated by a new topic.  I would be a little patient with your impatience.  But it's important to make budgeting, careful financial decisions and investing a habit that lasts through the "fascination" phase, that you keep executing even when you've read everything that is out there and it's not quite as exciting and all-engrossing anymore.  So take this opportunity, while you are engrossed, to cement good habits, even if it's frustrating to see slow movement at first.  Once those good habits are solid, hopefully you will be on to your next fascinating topic in life and your money will be working for you quietly behind the scenes while you are no longer paying attention and feeling quite so impatient.

But in the meantime, by all means, post here a lot and get face-punched/ ideas for being more frugal or investing more wisely or get into in-depth debates about whether or not a 3.62% withdrawal rate in retirement is safe.  There's more than enough here (and elsewhere) to read to help you optimize (or feel like you are optimizing more) and maybe satisfy some of that craving to make it all happen faster.

[grundomatic]

I think what you are going through is typical for someone new to the scene. It's exciting! When I found this movement, I devoured everything I could find on the subject. I Read the Money Mustache blog front to back, read the Early Retirement Extreme book, as well as browsing other blogs and podcasts. Also checked savings accounts often. Then I hit a point of diminishing returns where I was having to read a lot more to learn something new, and the rush of increasing savings eventually wore off, also as the stash gets bigger each addition is a smaller increase percentage-wise.

I suggest riding the wave of your enthusiasm and put that "busy-ness" to productive use. Checking accounts daily is not useful, but learning sure is. Learning as much as you can then hunting down and destroying inefficiency in your life should keep you plenty busy. I'd say really getting into the swing of things and optimizing every category of spending will keep you busy for several months. At that point you should be on autopilot with the frugality and saving, and can turn your focus to something else. Enjoy the ride and welcome to the forum!

[Old Ball Coach]

Thanks for the replies. I’ve been reading books and blogs all over. I really liked The Simple Path to Wealth. That really broke it down for me. I’m trying to get everything automated and easy.

The one expense that I’ve been trying to work around and lower is our cell phone bill. Currently it is $266/month. That is for my and my 2 girls iPhones and wife’s Samsung. My phone is paid off but the other 3 phones aren’t yet. We currently use Verizon. I’ve spoken with the company but there isn’t a lower plan they have that fits us. This is a tough selling point with the wife. She doesn’t want to give up anything in our plan. I’m trying to find other options.

[marty998]

@bpolson2 stick at it - we play a very long game here. A couple of weeks is but a blip and you are going to have to learn to sit tight. Sometimes you will find the best decision is to make no decision at all. Authorities - yes you will need to make some big calls.

Your finances should tick away slowly accumulating in the background. In the meantime - continue to live your life to the best it can be.

[Sibley]

Well, re the cell phones, I would consider it reasonable that your daughters contribute at least some money towards their phones. Particularly iphones, those are luxuries, not necessities (regardless of what anything thinks, you won't die without an iphone). And if they're going over on data or something, they DEFINITELY need to be contributing in someway. Even if that means they're doing double chores.

Of course, I'm kinda mean and would say that kids don't need smartphones in general, a cheap flip phone would work just fine.

[Dicey]

If you post a case study, you'll be so busy fielding suggestions you won't have time to check account balances constantly. Book suggestion: the new edition of Your Money or Your Life. Get it from the library.

[patchyfacialhair]

I used to be obsessive. Now, I just pay all bills on the first of the month and update my spreadsheets then. That has allowed me to be systematic and trust that what we're spending is in line with our values. I went from multiple times per day to one time per month. I do briefly check the checking account every day though, but that's maybe a total of 15 seconds. I've caught errant charges that way, so that gives me peace of mind.

[enFuego]

@bpolson2 - Patience is my big problem too.  It's just my nature. In my mind when there's something to get done, you just get it done!  The thing with FIRE is that you need time on your side.  One thing I've learned from the community here is the importance of letting yourself just be present in life.  Reading the posts on hedonic adaptation lead me to reading about stoicism, which has helped me with this struggle.  I learned alot of perspective from reading A Guide to the Good Life (https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Good-Life-Ancient-Stoic-ebook/dp/B0040JHNQG), as discussed in other previous posts.  You can probably get a copy form inter-library loan for free.

I'm at the point where all the big boxes are checked (401k, debt, etc.) and I just need to keep working the plan.  I have gone from checking my accounts and tweaking my spreadsheet daily to checking balances when I get notification that my direct deposit was received.  (It's a real nice feeling to forget you're getting paid today.)  What makes it more challenging for me is our horizon for FIRE is probably 7+ years and I feel like I am behind where I could have been.  That's a long time to my impatient brain and competitive nature.  I'm learning to accept it and be happy for where I am and the opportunity I do have in front of me.  And also of course just be happy for the blessings I have in life.  In the meantime I can definitely do more on reducing expenses front so I'm trying to focus there little by little.

[Old Ball Coach]

Thanks for the input everyone. I do realize it is a marathon and not a sprint. I wish I could go back and start this journey much earlier.

I am doing my best to teach my 15-year-old about saving and investing. She just got her first job last month and I'm opening a Roth for her to invest in. The nice thing is that she is a saver to begin with. My 13-year-old, on the other hand, spends every cent that she gets. Long journey ahead with that one.

[CindyBS]

One thing that has helped me with the impatient feelings is to break it down into smaller goals.  I printed some adult coloring book pages - just googled images - and use them for a few longer term goals I am working on including FI.  For us, FI is a bouquet of flowers and every $50K saved another flower gets colored in.

I post these half colored pictures in a very public area of my kitchen.  It reminds me every day of the goal, without having to post personal $$ numbers so the kids or anyone who comes over can see. 

I get a little cheap thrill from hitting my mini goals and coloring in the space with my special set of colored pencils I keep only for this purpose.  Seeing the pictures everyday is also a reminder of what I am working for, and seeing the colored in spaces reminds me of what I have accomplished every day. 

Sometimes if I get really antsy, I think of what I can *do* right now to help FIRE.  Part of our FIRE plan including downsizing our house, so a good one for me is to go declutter a room, or work on a house project that will get our house closer to being able to be sold - even if we don't sell for years. 

[jlcnuke]

Your time will be filled without something. If you aren't filling it, your subconscious will. In this case, you want to fill it with something else but aren't because you haven't come up with something you'd rather fill it with. The problem isn't that you're spending too much time thinking about your path to FIRE, your actual problem is you don't know what else to do with your time....

Find something to occupy that time (a hobby, spending more time with your family, fixing up things around the house, etc etc) and you won't have time to obsess about the numbers.