Our housing prices tripled, and new buyers don't blend into the community

[Another Reader]

This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

I actually do participate and not just in the neighborhood but with my daughter's school too.  I work from home so I'm also in my neighborhood about 90% of the time.  And I know my neighbors and talk to them, too! 

On the other hand, I find the whole idea of "a good neighbor" kind of stupid.  I have moved around a ton of places in my life and everywhere I've landed has had awesome people to get to know.  As a result, "my tribe" is actually a bunch of people strung across several cities/states/countries.  I love all those people and I'm so happy that I had a change to meet them and get to know them.  And I'm even more happy about meeting some of the new people that are moving into my current neighborhood. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch that the new, big homes are "blocking my view of the lake".  But really, what would be the point of that?  Or I could complain that some of the new people tend to keep to themselves.  But so what?  Not everyone needs to behave how I want them to behave.  Obviously not EVERY change is always for the better.  The only thing I know for certain is that things WILL change, and my only real choice is about how I respond to it.  I choose to be positive.

Since you answered in the affirmative, welcome to the neighborhood!

[Another Reader]

This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate.  Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater.  In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas.  Little things count.  Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them.  Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.

[FINate]

This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

So you're saying that unless a person is highly involved with some sort of neighborhood activities and interacts with everyone then they are a "bad" neighbor? So a single kidless woman who doesn't have much in common with her married couple with kids neighbors who keeps to herself and her non-hood friends is a "bad" neighbor? Even if shes quiet, keeps her house and yard nice, and causes no harm to anyone and is friendly but keeps to herself then she's a "bad" neighbor? I'm that woman (minus the 100 cats ;-)) so guess I'd be a terrible addition to your hood.

Most of those folks are pleasant, decent people that at least peripherally participate.  Maybe this person is older, and needs a hand unloading the groceries or relighting the pilot light on the water heater.  In turn, you might get a tin of homemade candy at Christmas.  Little things count.  Since you are ex-military, I would think because of your background, you would use your training and skills in an emergency if your neighbors needed them.  Good to have you in the neighborhood, if that's your attitude.

This definition of a "good" neighbor seems rather arbitrary and petty. Is it nice to offer a helping hand if someone needs it? Sure, but this is just generally being a kind person, doesn't automatically make one a good neighbor. Also, opportunities like this may not pop up if they don't need or what help, or if your lives don't overlap much. What are the odds that your neighbor you don't already know comes to your door asking for help with their waterheater? At our previous house it took about 5 years to get to know the neighbors around us. We eventually got to the point of helping each other out, except for one neighbor who was super nice yet very private (still a great neighbor, I might add). Everyone was busy with kids and working two jobs, so it just took a long time to make those connections.

I suppose I'm just far more concerned with the stuff spartana listed. I don't necessarily want a neighbor we don't already know offering to carry groceries into the house, or doing any kind of work on my house. But I care a great deal about neighbors being respectful, quiet, keeping their house and yard relatively well maintained.

[sun and sand]

This is not a debate.  I'm stating the problem is not the generic concept of change.  And who says I'm miserable?

If you can't say that you participate in and contribute to your local community, I would rather have someone that does as a neighbor.  Living next door to someone that does not participate could be problematic or at least uncomfortable at times.  Oh, and it should be obvious that this has nothing to do with your race, culture or country of origin.  It's your attitude.

I actually do participate and not just in the neighborhood but with my daughter's school too.  I work from home so I'm also in my neighborhood about 90% of the time.  And I know my neighbors and talk to them, too! 

On the other hand, I find the whole idea of "a good neighbor" kind of stupid.  I have moved around a ton of places in my life and everywhere I've landed has had awesome people to get to know.  As a result, "my tribe" is actually a bunch of people strung across several cities/states/countries.  I love all those people and I'm so happy that I had a change to meet them and get to know them.  And I'm even more happy about meeting some of the new people that are moving into my current neighborhood. 

I mean, I suppose I could bitch that the new, big homes are "blocking my view of the lake".  But really, what would be the point of that?  Or I could complain that some of the new people tend to keep to themselves.  But so what?  Not everyone needs to behave how I want them to behave.  Obviously not EVERY change is always for the better.  The only thing I know for certain is that things WILL change, and my only real choice is about how I respond to it.  I choose to be positive.

Ah......the big homes blocking your view......you could keep that view if you had bought the lot across the road....

[Cassie]

It’s a personal preference to interact with neighbors or not. We live in a older neighborhood and the people are super friendly. I see people when I walk the dogs and sometimes have pleasant conversations.  Our next door neighbor doesn’t have a lot of money so when we bought a new couch asked if they wanted ours and they did. When our big dog died I gave them the bed because it was only a few months old.