In my college days I once had the unfortunate experience of unintentionaly dumpster diving. You know when someone drinks a little too much and maybe they pass out and you sharpie a mustache or penis on their face or “antique” them with a handful of flour? Well, after finals on a Friday night, I blew off a little too much steam with some really cheap beer (Busch) and rot gut vodka Jell-O shots. Eventually I passed out and my buddies decided to carry my 210 lb body and deposit me in to the dumpster outside of our dorm. The plan was to just take a couple pictures (my roommate was a photographer for the local newspaper) and then get me out. The problem was getting me out. It proved a lot harder than getting me into the dumpster so they just left me there. They decided to come check on me every 1/2 hour or so. Anyway, eventually I was woken by the call of nature and I realized where I was. As I was getting up from my temporary dumpster bed, I noticed a really nice wooden chair in the corner of the dumpster. Even my young and immature self had an eye for frugality and wastefulness so I grabbed the chair, took a leak behind the dumpster and stumbled back to my room. When I got back, most of the party dispersed but my roommate and the guy down the hall were playing an intense match of sega hockey. When I walked in the door I said something like “I found this awesome chair and thanks for not drawing a dick on my forehead”. I then pulled up the chair, sat down and said I had dibs on the next game.
I still have that chair to this day. I’ve since sanded it down and stained it a walnut brown. It’s more of a plant stand on my porch now. It looks really good on the porch and it serves as a reminder of how it can be easy to profit off of other peoples wastefulness and to never drink in excess.
Sadly, wastefulness is an epidemic in this country. Furniture, food, fossil fuel, it’s really sad. More power to the dumpster divers.