@ dinarik: Thanks for sharing your ideas and welcome to starting your journey learning about the vast world of financial independence! MMM is a great place to start and I strongly encourage you to read the book, “Your Money or Your Life” by Vicki Robin and Joe Dominguez. MMM did a review of the book
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/12/18/your-money-or-your-life/.
Allow me to clarify two things that from your reply I feel you may have missed. First, I feel a person’s age does not determine if she/he is emotionally healthy and a well-rounded responsible adult. Wouldn’t you agree plenty of grown women (21 years older) are young girls emotionally? Once you recognize this distinction, you will understand the context I was referring to when I wrote the “girls” I meet. As others have said it IS challenging for anyone to find other like-minded mature adults to date, but that doesn't mean we should stop trying, right? Everyone has different experiences when dating and the expectations placed on them. But isn't it true that not everyone you meet is actually an
adult? How do you define an adult? Well my definition of an adult is a person (regardless of age or gender) who
accepts full responsibility for what happens in their lives. An adult is a person who
consciously choses to make the best of any situation and can humbly acknowledge when they need to ask for help. Financially to me it also means an adult chooses to learn “discipline” and practices saying NO to themselves. Of course MMM's complimentary punch in the face is more efficient, but not everyone knows Mustachianism, yet. Would you be surprised if I told that a Harvard University study discovered the number one factor in determining whether a child would become more financially successful than their parents was “discipline”? Fortunately, the proof is in the pudding and I have found there are plenty of full grown adults whose actions show they prefer to remain, infantile. I chose not to learn from their examples and learn from others who walked the talk and proven it! Whom do you think these children in adult bodies learn from?
Second, my comments were in response to makincaid’s question, “Do you ever run into the
expectation that you are obligated do things the expensive way just because you have good income.” I feel you really missed
that point and took what I wrote personally. In my comments I never said this was -solely- a gender specific issue. My comments focused on women because these are my experience/values with the topic of expectations, consumerism, and how I see women behaving with money. You wrote, “could you be confusing women's perceptions and feelings toward ambition with being mindless consumers”. I can see how you might think I might be mixing the two, but I assure you there is no confusion on how I view a woman's perceptions and her actions. For myself I do not care if a woman is career-driven and successful that is wonderful for her. Some of my closest friends are wildly successful in their chosen careers in art, law, medicine and finance; I am proud to have these friends in my life. My female friends without knowing it already practice Mustachian values, that's one reason why we get along. However the key difference between these women and the women I meet in the dating arena is "accountability", which is shown by their actions. When dating I meet plenty of single successful women that tell me they do not know where their money goes, or I just cannot save more/budget because I don’t want to deprive myself. Has anyone else heard these types of comments when dating? MMM wrote a article that discusses these values here:
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/09/18/is-it-convenient-would-i-enjoy-it-wrong-question/ When hearing women share these types of comments, frankly I am not surprised by the lack of discipline, accountability and the reality they've chosen to create. It is not rocket science to see the connection between “how” one chooses to spend money and the lack of money in their retirement accounts. As MMM readers we understand there is a real connection, but do most people understand this truism? So as curt as may sound, I for one do not appreciate it when other people (in my example women) expect me to frivolously spend what I am disciplined enough to save up, when they are not. Spending in moderation I do not mind, but not the way society and many women "expect". MMM wrote about this here
http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/07/22/protecting-your-money-mustache-from-spendy-friends/ although it was written about friends the values and practices apply to dating too.
Your mileage may vary dinarik, but I certainly hope you can see and acknowledge there are a lot more unaccountable spenders around you, than disciplined and stoic Mustachian savers. Yes it does not help that we are blasted daily 24/7 with messages to spend beyond our means, but so what?! Ultimately we each make choices and act on them. And isn't that what it means to be an adult? The buck stops with each of us individually; we can choose to accept responsibility for all of our decisions or not. If we do not whom should accept responsibility and if not today, when?
I will leave you with Adam Baker's empowering video discussing this very topic; he is Mustachian in many ways. Enjoy!
http://youtu.be/9XRPbFIN4lk Cheers!