Not sure where to post - wills and living with SO

[KSmith]

Not sure where to post this, but had two questions I wanted to ask to see if anyone had some suggestions.

1. does anyone have a good resource for a will? - I definitely need to come up with one, but given I'm in my early 30s, I'd rather do something simple and free

2. I'm going to be living with my significant other (not married) soon in a house that I own. Do folks usually sign cohabitation agreements spelling out who contributes what to monthly expenses? Also to specify that I retain 100% equity in the home/responsibility for mortgage and who owns what in terms of furniture

Appreciate the help!

[BrightFIRE]

You might want to check out this book, Money without Matrimony - I haven't read it yet, but it's on my list.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1419506889/

We rent, but I've lived with my SO for 8 years now. We've never been that formal, but we only started a joint checking account about 2 years ago. Before that, he'd just transfer me the money for his bills from his checking account to mine (or really, I transferred it, because I ran all the accounts anyway), halfsies on everything.

Currently, we're joint on each other's financial accounts and I have him as my beneficiary on work stuff, but we don't have wills.

[Sibley]

It really depends on how far you want things to go. If you want things to work as if you were married (access, etc) without actually being married, that's not so easy. You will need to get a lawyer to make sure you cover all the bases. If you happen to have a legal benefit through work, that could be a cost effective way to go.

As for the house, honestly the easiest way to handle things would probably be a lease agreement of some sort. You can get templates online, but really anything written, signed and dated would be better than nothing.

[KSmith]

It's more the opposite - want to keep things separate. Also these questions are independent of each other - we aren't looking to include one another in our wills.

[Metalcat]

It's more the opposite - want to keep things separate. Also these questions are independent of each other - we aren't looking to include one another in our wills.

If you want to keep things separate then it's best to investigate the laws in your jurisdiction as to what constitutes a relationship where assets are shared. Do you have common law where you live?

If the law doesn't impose any sharing of assets on your, then there's no need to draft a legal document to keep your assets separate, you just have to agree to whatever arrangement you both feel comfortable with.

If the law will end up dictating something about assets being shared/owed upon break up, then consider consulting a lawyer.

[Dee18]

This site lists states that still have common law marriage:
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter2-4.html

[KSmith]

Thanks. We are in CA, so it does not apply.

[Rosy]

As long as your name is on the deed for the house and since you do not live in a common law marriage state - I don't see any issues. You have sole ownership and would want to continue paying taxes and insurance - end of story.

As far as entering into a contract as to who pays for which bill - that sounds a bit over the top paranoid to me. The way I look at it, if you have so little trust in each other you are not ready to move in together.
There are a million ways to split and arrange things to suit both of your separate situations. Splitting everything down the middle and asking for X in rent is only fair if you both bring home the same amount of income, otherwise you need to find a different percentage split based on each other's income.

I'm in an over 20yr SO relationship and I contribute significantly more now than I did when I first moved in, because now I can. But I had to speak up for myself at the beginning, which wasn't an easy conversation for me:) because on the surface a 50% split sounds right and fair, but it isn't if it leaves one of you with next to nothing left over for the month. Once I explained where I stood and what I could contribute at that time we agreed on a suitable split.

You have to remember that things shift and change within a relationship, everything continually changes from your income to your opportunities to who is the stronger partner within your relationship at a particular time in your lives. If you can't even envision that your partner will be there for you in a time of crisis much less can be relied upon to actually pay the phone bill then ... well.

FWIW - we kept it all separate for several years but over time we added each other on our accounts and have a POD on each account, so if one of us dies the money in the account is automatically available to the survivor. (Without a POD the bank will not give you access even to a joint account.) We also made each other beneficiary of our investments and on everything else.
We've never had a single issue concerning bills or purchasing something new - we discuss it and decide together. If it's under 200-300 and it's just something only one of us is keen on having or doing then it just comes out of our individual accounts.

[Captain FIRE]

I would definitely suggest writing up a lease, so that if you die/end the relationship, the SO isn't immediately kicked out of the home (particularly if also grieving your death) and has sufficient time to find a new home.  Obviously there may also be tenant laws that apply to eviction, but this could provide some assurances for the SO.  The lease would also help establish that the SO is not gaining equity in the house.

Re furniture, I suggest only one of you buy each piece/set and they own it.  Beyond that, if you are worried about fighting about furniture, you may wish to reconsider living together/work on your communication.

[KSmith]

Thanks all. It's not so much that I'm particularly worried about these things, but I've never been through this, so just checking to see what others do in this situation. I'm also contributing much more than 50% of the total expenses given I make more money and the house is mine. I'm OK with this - I pay 100% of the expenses now on my own, so it's fine. I don't know if it's better for the SO to pay rent in the form of a check to me, or for them to just pay some of the expenses directly that total the same (like insurance and HOA).

[KSmith]

Thanks all. It's not so much that I'm particularly worried about these things, but I've never been through this, so just checking to see what others do in this situation. I'm also contributing much more than 50% of the total expenses given I make more money and the house is mine. I'm OK with this - I pay 100% of the expenses now on my own, so it's fine. I don't know if it's better for the SO to pay rent in the form of a check to me, or for them to just pay some of the expenses directly that total the same (like insurance and HOA).

This might be a tax issue if any money your SO give you (or any roommate - romantic partner or not) if the state and IRS consider it taxable income or if your SO or any roommate claims the "renter's credit" on their taxes. If your SO pays you cash towards expenses you may not have to add this to your income for tax purposes and he/she agrees not to take the renter credit but I don't know if this is legal or not. But if he/she is just paying their share of utilities then maybe its not considered income and you can exclude it. This is what I plan to do.

I also think as mentioned above you could have an informal rental agreement that lists SOs financial obligations and your obligations if you guys separate. Like a 30 day notice, etc.

Yes, all this is what I was looking for some advice about as I'm not sure, particularly on the tax front. Will ask my tax accountant tomorrow. But, I can't be the first person on the site to be going through it :)

Also, on the wills, got sent a couple articles about a tool called Fabric, so I might check that out