New here! Progressing but still frustrated

[notmyhand]

Hello everyone!
I have been creeping around on the blog and the forum for a few months now but finally decided to join and post.

Some history -
My fiance, age 33, and I, age 23 live in central Pennsylvania and have made a ton of changes to our finances in the last two years.  Two years ago we were working management for a large retailor bringing in about $5,000 total take home pay a month.  We lived right next to my fiance's store but I had a daily total three hour commute which was draining me.  We had about $30,000 in credit card debt, about $10,000 in student loan debt, $30,000 in car loans (I stupidly bought my honda civic new and his chevy truck was bought used but still expensive due to being a low mileage truck), and about $135,000 in mortgage on our ranch home.  We had roommates constantly to help make ends meet and although we were not extravagant, we were definitely not watching the pennies despite feeling like we were living paycheck to paycheck.

A year and a half ago we decided that we were unable to make more money in our current positions without moving or changing jobs.  Thus we decided to cash out our 401ks (only about $40,000 worth but still a bad idea now that I think back on it) and start our own business in the title search industry.  It took some time as we had to get some schooling and build up a client base but it was worth it.  In the last year we have managed to pay off all of our credit card debt, my student loans, and my car. 

At the beginning of this year we decided that it wasn't enough.  We decided to take a contract doing what we do in the oil and gas industry which pays significantly better.  Our contract actually requires us to travel all year long so we decided that for the time being we would even sell our house.  Why would you pay a mortgage and utilities on a house you were in twice a month right?  So fast forward to the present and we are currently bringing in at least $9,000 a month after taxes so our pay has significantly increased.  We have put money into fixing up the house to sell and are closing on it next week which should also net us a little over $50,000.  In the last three months we have saved $17,500 some of which I have used to max out a Roth IRA.  With the money from the house, we plan on paying off the final car and maxing out my fiance's Roth IRA, starting 401ks for the two of us, and maxing out our HSAs.

Here is what our current monthly budgets look like -
His health insurance - $190
My health insurance - $150
HVAC system repayment - $400 (we took it out to put HVAC into our sold home to help selling it, it is 0% APR for three years and it will be finished by then so we are not in a hurry to pay it off)
Food (including take out and going out) - $400, we drink too much soda although we have switched to generic brands.  We bring our own lunches from home.
Our two golden retrievers cost us approximately $120 a month if I average food, vet visits, flea meds, etc.

No housing as the company pays for our hotel.  No cell phone bill as the company reimburses that.  No gas costs as the company reimburses that.  We do not have life insurance as we will have no debt and no dependents.

We would like to save $110,000 minimum a year from now to put down as a down payment on a house in case we decide not to renew our contract.  Should be more than doable if you count the money we will be getting from the sale of our current home.

So you think we would be saving $7740 a month if you do the math?  Obviously there are miscelleneous expenses that occur such as car insurance, etc.  However, I cannot seem to come up with that number ever!  For example, this month we had to rent a storage unit for all of our stuff for the year, rent a truck, and feed the friends and family lucky enough to make the trip to help us move ($1500).  Then we had a wedding in CT that required some traveling expenses $600 for the weekend, I had to get some work done on my car which cost $800, an emergency root canal was needed which cost $1000, and then I had to pay for my wedding dress ($1300).  My savings went down to under $3000 for the month! 

Obviously I know the wedding dress is an expense I am choosing to pay so can't complain about that one.  However, I feel like I am constantly overenthusiastic.  I crunch the numbers and can't wait to have all of that money sitting in our accounts and then get frustrated when it doesn't happen.  We can afford everything and pay off our credit cards at the end of the month but I feel like after all of the changes, I should be seeing a bigger return.  Anyone else get frustrated when it doesn't work out just the way you imagine it to?

Regardless, thank you again for all of the help you have provided in your posts.  We will get there, I am confident!
Carolina

[Spork]

this may not be helpful, but I'd like to point out that "I'm only saving $3000 a month" is an awesome problem to have.  Yes, I know, it's not your goal.  Yes, you could probably save more...  but you might also give yourself a teeny tiny bit of credit for it.

[LDoon]

Sounds like you are doing a pretty good job and having really changed your whole life around (start own business, sell house, etc.) to make progress.  That is way more difficult to achieve than cutting expense, so give yourself a pat on the back.

As to your frustration, I have two suggestions for you. First, try approaching your savings goal from the other direction.  For example, you want to save $110k in the next year.  Since you're counting the house sale for $50k, your goal should be to save $5000 per month.  Don't try to save every possible penny because unknown expenses always come up.  It's like having the misc. category in your budget.  Thinking about it as a limited monthly savings goal allows leeway without frustration.

Second, sounds like you have/are making a lot of significant life changes (new job, marriage, selling house, etc.).  These changes take a while to smooth out, and all have associated expenses.  For example, the $1500 is a moving expense (which can be subtracted from the house profit).  It's a one-time expense.  Same with weddings (hopefully).  As long as you're concious about the spending (and it sounds very much like you are) things will come together. 

[notmyhand]

Spork, you are right.  Two years ago we would have been ectstatic to have that money (and then gone out to buy a flatscreen with it haha).

LDoon, I like your idea of thinking about it differently and having a monthly savings goal.  I look at the potential and get frustrated without looking at it in reverse.

Thanks for the help and I can't wait to see what else I learn on here!
Carolina

[plantingourpennies]

@notmyhand

Mrs. PoP sometimes gets frustrated that we're "only " putting away 3k a month as well! Its like the evil twin of Hedonic Adaption-instead of getting used to the luxuries in our life and always wanting more, we become used to our high-savings rate, and always want to push it higher.

Unless you slow down and take a look at what great headway you're making, you're cheating yourself out of considerable happiness!

Best,
Mr. PoP

[happy]

To be honest I think these type of things happen to us all. The frustration of these uncontrolled expenditures makes people give up or not try in the first place.

I think the best thing when something unexpected and unavoidable comes up, is to stay calm and try to figure out how to minimise the cost. Push yourself a little outside your comfort zone. I surprise myself regularly when I do this, and I feel happy that I've mitigated the cost of whatever: I try to concentrate on how much I've reduced the impact, which reduces the frustration for me.

Secondly try to budget for as many of these things as you can: your savings rate won't be so good, but the frustration is reduced. If you manage to beat the budget you can feel happy, but if the item wasn't in there in the first place you just feel bad.