Neglecting the present?

[Asgard01]

I think I am guilty of doing this myself with regard to this whole FIRE thing. I spend a lot of time day thinking in some ways about future FI, browsing the forums and reading a lot more than my posting count would have you believe. Reading other sites, going over my figures, trimming my expenses, reading abut being frugal, saving this or saving that. Don't get me wrong, I still do other things of course but I think I should be spending more of my time living now, and enjoying what I'm doing now that thinking about all of this. I've already done the hard work of planning, learning and putting my plans in place. I should now just get on with day to do stuff and not be so concerned with Reaching FI at the expense of missing out on now.

It can be as though you are putting your life on fast forward as let's be honest, FIRE can be the ultimate carrot to chase after but wishing that time came as soon as possible whether it be 1,3 5 or 15 years might even be worse than how many live for the weekend or the next holiday 6 months down the line. Maybe we and this is directed at myself should spend more time on living for today/this week and push this whole thing at least a bit further back in our minds.

I can find myself on these forums and thinking/doing something related to FIRE when I perhaps should be doing something else, like hoovering or washing the dishes hehe, or simplifying my life / learning about Greek mythology which is completely separate from any FIRE plans. Thinking about FIRE certainly makes me feel good.

Does anyone relate to this? I have brought this up once before but in the context of perhaps a slight obsession with all this stuff that may cost us a little in how we live in the present.

Chris

[lizfish]

Ah man. This is me. I think new ideas are a refuge from real-life sometimes. Like gaming or TV is for other people. In my case thinking and reading less about FI/ER and more about how I get get more (or more profitable) clients would be a better way of getting us closer to it. Or thinking about how to cut our expenses further. But you do need inspiration to drive those changes so it's a balancing act. I read the entire MMM blog in less than a week. Wasn't pretty but it sure kicked some changes into life.

[theonethatgotaway]

Interesting. I definetely get your point and have fallen prey to the 'over thinking my life' bit.

If you're looking for help, I think the key here is that while MMM had an overarching plan- he went about his day to day pretty simply. He never really thought too much into am I doing this right or that right, he just had a lot of badass habits ingrained and implemented and a very strong sense of self. If you have your habits, you have your life. I would start there.

I mean, if you just sat around obsessing over FI, and then reach FI, what's next? (anyone care to weigh in in which this was the case?)

[kudy]

I definitely did this for a while! For me, it was when I first got a well-paying job, and I saw all the potential in the extra income. Over time, the over-thinking and obsessing has mellowed.

I don't get a high from exercise, but I do really get a high from thinking about NEW things. A new concept that totally changes how I see the world (theoretical or practical) is soooo exciting and such a buzz.

I definitely experience this high as well - I get more excited about new stuff than most people I know, and I think they all think I'm a little crazy when I am excitedly talking about something new.

[TheNorwegianGuy]

A couple a year ago I could have related to this. I was very focused on future goals. The present, the now, was all about the future.

But the last couple of years I have developed myself and my thinking towards the now and experience the moment the fullest. I do not focus alot on my future goals these days, I do not have to. I focus on the now and living simple and frugal allows me much more to enjoy the things that matters in this moment. Instead of focusing on a goal in the future I very much focus and enjoy the journey! :)

Yes I spend time on this forum, on reading, gaining knowledge, but all of this is not just for the future, it is because I enjoy doing it now :)

[frizzywhiskers]

I do this and I don't think it is healthy.  I am often guilty of overplanning and focusing on the future so much that I forget to enjoy the present.  Thanks for the reminder!  Our plan is on track, now I need to enjoy my life in the meantime!

[rocklebock]

Guilty. I've been putting more effort into appreciating the present (exercise, outdoor stuff, and relaxed socializing work well for this in my case). But it's hard. I can't help it that the future is so much more interesting!

[Greystache]

I understand how you feel.  My situation is different in that my FIRE date is only 5 months away.  I have become consumed with the thought of quitting my job and being retired.  I am having trouble focusing on work or other things that used to interest me.  My friends and family are getting tired of hearing me talk about retirement plans. I know I should be trying to live for today and finish strong at my job, bit it is hard. 

[Jon_Snow]

Yep, I have definitely obsessed with reaching FIRE status - about 10 years of obsessing, planning, and browsing various forums. Have I done so at the expense of enjoying the present sometimes? Perhaps.

But I am a month away from being FIRE'd, so I really don't find myself regretting much right now. I have a strong suspicion that it will all be worth it.

[Fiador]

Hi  Chris ,

I totally understand you. Sometimes i get thinking I want this next 4 years pass as soon as possible to start enjoying FIRE and it is totally wrong or adopt a passive attitude at work just thinking in a few years one can be F i

I do realize i will never be as young as now, as we are not getting younger and it is time to enjoy the great life we have and see my young kids grow.
I am planning to stop thinking daily about fire but it is not easy, one thing I have noticed is if I cannot sleep at night or I am very stressed , I start thinking about Fi and within minutes I sleep deeply like a baby. MMM is the best antidote against insomnia

Good post Chris

[Prepube]

At age 27, I was in grad school, four years from my doctorate, extremely anti-mustachian in behavior, and looking forward to my life of debt and consumerism.  Now, at age 53, I have a decent stache and some real estate and a good income, and I'm obsessed with exiting the workforce as soon as I can so I can enter the next phase of my life, which I envision to be much more satisfying than this one.  If I'd done more stressing over this in my 20s and 30s, I would be retired by now.  You all sound like complainy-pants.  Suck it up.  Retire early with your ample staches, and laugh your way through your forties and fifties and sixties and seventies.  Quit bitchin and remember that the quality of your life is yours to choose and you are 'buying' time that you will get back later.

[Asgard01]

At age 27, I was in grad school, four years from my doctorate, extremely anti-mustachian in behavior, and looking forward to my life of debt and consumerism.  Now, at age 53, I have a decent stache and some real estate and a good income, and I'm obsessed with exiting the workforce as soon as I can so I can enter the next phase of my life, which I envision to be much more satisfying than this one.  If I'd done more stressing over this in my 20s and 30s, I would be retired by now.  You all sound like complainy-pants.  Suck it up.  Retire early with your ample staches, and laugh your way through your forties and fifties and sixties and seventies.  Quit bitchin and remember that the quality of your life is yours to choose and you are 'buying' time that you will get back later.

Not really complainy-pants as you call it. Just highlighting what I think is a valid point that we can obsess about all this, race forward to the FI date when that can be detrimental to life that's lived now. I've already planned, set it all in motion. Anymore obsession is not useful and wishing FI would come faster is in my opinion missing quality time now.

[myDogIsFI]

Here's the advice from MMM on this: "I believe that the best cure for Early Retirement Obsession is to start acting more like a retired person right now. The further you can push your boundaries out of the current comfort (or discomfort) zone, and into the life you envision for yourself as a retired person, the more you’ll start changing into the futuristic person you want to be."

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/12/14/are-you-obsessed-with-early-retirement/

I still struggle with it, but I think now that I've got things set up pretty well for the future that I can start getting back to living in the present.

[Prepube]

And the part I left out is that I think you are all pretty fucking awesome for accomplishing what you have accomplished so early.  Go out and enjoy it occasionally.  You've earned it.  Your life is what you make of it.

[MoneyCat]

Here's the advice from MMM on this: "I believe that the best cure for Early Retirement Obsession is to start acting more like a retired person right now. The further you can push your boundaries out of the current comfort (or discomfort) zone, and into the life you envision for yourself as a retired person, the more you’ll start changing into the futuristic person you want to be."

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2011/12/14/are-you-obsessed-with-early-retirement/

I still struggle with it, but I think now that I've got things set up pretty well for the future that I can start getting back to living in the present.

BINGO.  Great MMM post on the topic.  I haven't retired yet, but my neighbors definitely notice my change of attitude over the past few years.  Some of them think I am already retired, because they always see me riding my bicycle or puttering around in the garden.  It is a healthy mindset to have.

[odput]

I think what you are dealing with here is the law of diminishing returns.  As you first get into this stuff, the changes make a big impact and there is lots of excitement.  Then, once you have made *most* of your plans and changes, you keep researching, reading, and optimizing, but you don't get as far (because you have already changed so much).  Eventually you spend hours and hours researching for the tiniest gains.  If you are in this stage, you are usually better off just letting your plans carry themselves out, monitor on some regular but infrequent interval (monthly or quarterly or so) and really start to focus on how you want to live today.

[Kansas Beachbum]

I think odput is right...you see a greater impact from the initial, larger scale changes you make than you do from the later, more incremental changes.  I also think anyone who is conscious enough about their finances to become a contributor on a board like this probably also thinks a bit too much about it sometimes.  MMM had a good post a while back that was all about allowing yourself the luxery of just chilling out a bit, not obsessing about every little thing...in effect, just allow yourself to live life.  If you have a good plan laid out, just let it work.  In the meantime, live your life.  Now, who wants to go get a beer?

[Vilgan]

I've had the same problem as the OP a bit I think. I get overly concerned about saving for FIRE and making plans when really... I'm on track and extra time/energy into it won't accelerate it all that much. Job is fine, life is great, I should spend more time enjoying the present but I still read/focus on the path to FIRE more than is sensible.

I think it is a balance that everyone has to figure out for themselves and it IS possible to focus too much on the future and not enough on the present. I'm working on finding that balance myself and the fiancee helps a lot, but it would suck to spend 10 years always worried about the future and then get hit by a bus or something.

edit> odput is right on, and summarized it better than I was able to.

[matchewed]

Of course you should be living life now. What makes you think you aren't?

This isn't about living for the future. It's about living in the now in an efficient and cost effective manner so that your future has greater opportunity and freedom. These things such as frugality are just tools or methodologies, you get to apply them. And how you apply them will affect your life. If you apply them in a manner which restricts your interests and (true) happiness then you'll feel like shit. If you apply them in a way which increases your happiness then yay.

As for obsessing over websites and the like, maybe just take a break. Go do one of those aforementioned interests.

[RetiredAt63]

One of the messages I have gotten from the web site and forums, is to actively think about where the money is going, and optimize it so that you have a good life now and lots of savings for emergencies and retirement.   And then get on with life.

This means thinking about the big expense choices (housing, transportation, food, children/pets/hobbies) and small expenses (eating out, cell phone/internet/TV) and making appropriate choices.  Once you have got those set, most of the rest is automatic - if you have things optimized so that they are routine, you have your savings rate (hopefully >50% of net income) and your life style, and you are free to concentrate on having a good life as you go, not waiting for the be-all and end-all of retirement.

And seriously, retirement is still life (I am retired, so I have some experience here) and if you (general "you" here, no-one specific) did nothing but work and do the financial prep for retirement while you were working, you are not prepared for retirement - those are the people who suddenly find there is a huge void in their lives (the huge chunk of their lives that went to work to get all that money).  So do the things now that you think you would like to do in retirement - maybe they are fine in small amounts but not in large, and you need to rearrange your plans.  And what if life is a drag because of all the FIRE prep, and you get run over (fatally) by a bus?  Not good.

Just my $0.05 worth (no pennies any more).

[Daisy]

I find that when I get obsessed with something and then feel bad that I am neglecting my current stuff, that eventually that time I spent obsessively learning about something new came in very handy in the future. Then, I look back and thank my younger self for veering off into these obscure topics, because they weren’t so obscure after all.

You can’t run the marathon until you’ve spent the countless hours training. So this obsessing over FIRE while you are in your “training” stages is important. It’s the only way you are going to make the big life changes and smaller habit changes to make the changes last and sustainable.

While unemployed a few years ago, I had the chance to walk around my beautiful neighborhood, and not just the half mile radius around my house but really take some longer hikes around. I was sort of an aimless wanderer, finding stuff I didn't know existed around me because I had been in the sleep-commute-work-cubicle-eat-sleep rut. It’s what led me to find a new place to move to less than a mile away three years later because I had already scoped out da’hood. But at the time, I didn’t realize how it would help me.

Spending lots of time on the MMM blog gave me the idea to obtain a HELOC on my house to finance the purchase of the new place I bought and helped me end up mortgage-free. But while reading the blog, I sure felt like I was wasting time procrastinating my "real" work. Now that supposedly wasted time will buy me time to get to FIRE quicker.

I am enjoying my SWAMI-hood present right now while still obsessing over my soon-to-be FIRE. When ridiculous things get suggested at work, I am very happy to give my real opinion on stuff or at least chuckle to myself. I’m not sure yet if this is helping my job prospects or putting me at the top of the layoff list. Either way, I am happy by being true to myself and not taking BS from anyone. I can enjoy the present because I know I can handle a layoff. In fact, sometimes I secretly long for the layoff to catapult me into my FIRE-hood.

[Asgard01]

Thanks for your views on that Daisy.

Either way, I am happy by being true to myself and not taking BS from anyone. I can enjoy the present because I know I can handle a layoff.

I feel like that now and I am years away from FI, I think having my home paid off and a big stash that could last me maybe 10 years gives me that security as I know I could find another job. Getting out of the pay cheque to pay cheque routine even with perhaps 3-6 months expenses in the bank can make people feel that much more safe. I can understand the concern of my fellow workers who are getting mistreated by the boss but will not say anything due to fear of loosing their jobs, the main fear being that if they lost there jobs, within weeks they would run out of money. Add kids and a mortgage to the picture and I can understand there concerns.

I do feel very fortunate even though I am 5 years away from bare bones FI, 7 years from current living FI and probably final desired FI level being 10 years off. I had a conversation with someone today who was talking about their money worries, that they were overdrawn every month and didn't know what to do. Made me feel guilty for having money worries of my own about whether 4% was really safe or I needed to switch to 3% and that this month I'll miss my monthly investment target of $1750 and will only be able to invest $1500. I just couldn't bring that up.

Chris