Mustachians and Facebook? A Poll

[wildbeast]

Recently I've been feeling a little bit out of the loop because I'm not a facebook user.  And it feels like everyone is on facebook and having a great time without me.

So I googled facebook usage and found that about 53% of Americans are daily users, and 68% are occasional users.  So not everyone is on there, but lots of people for sure.  It made me wonder how mustachians would compare to the average population. 

Source https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2016/11/facebook-americas-favorite-media-product/507452/

One of the reasons I avoid facebook and other social media sites like pinterest and instagram is that they seem to feed the desire for material consumption.  Kind of like being at the mall leads to the desire to buy things.  So I avoid the mall.  The second reason I avoid the sites is that so much of the content feels fake.  It's so easy to photoshop images, to post things that aren't true, or only half true, that it feels like a waste of time. Since I want to focus on wanting less materially, and living more authentically, these sites feel counterproductive to my goals.  And so many selfies. 

But what about the rest of you mustachians? 

I specified personal/entertainment because some might use it for work and business reasons, which is different.

ETA:  If you are a regular facebook user (or not!), maybe you can share if it has any impact on your mustachian goals and lifestyle?

[wordnerd]

If you are a regular facebook user, maybe you can share if it has any impact on your mustachian goals and lifestyle?

I don't think it does. I know a lot of people talk about how seeing things on FB/social media creates a desire for a more perfect, curated life, full of riches, etc. But, my circle is mainly full of baby pictures, some political contents (well-founded or not), and a lot media outlets that I follow because I enjoy their content. I do see spendy vacations or outings occasionally, but rarely does it evoke envy in me. I'm more likely to be inspired by someone's hiking trip than someone's expensive vacation. And expensive dinners don't even really register/interest me. As with the rest of life, building frugality muscles changes the perspective from "I wish I had that" to "I'm glad I'm not paying for that."

[wildbeast]

If you are a regular facebook user, maybe you can share if it has any impact on your mustachian goals and lifestyle?

I don't think it does. I know a lot of people talk about how seeing things on FB/social media creates a desire for a more perfect, curated life, full of riches, etc. But, my circle is mainly full of baby pictures, some political contents (well-founded or not), and a lot media outlets that I follow because I enjoy their content. I do see spendy vacations or outings occasionally, but rarely does it evoke envy in me. I'm more likely to be inspired by someone's hiking trip than someone's expensive vacation. And expensive dinners don't even really register/interest me. As with the rest of life, building frugality muscles changes the perspective from "I wish I had that" to "I'm glad I'm not paying for that."

You have strong muscles!  Sadly, I'm a bit more susceptible, but I'm working on it.

[wordnerd]

If you are a regular facebook user, maybe you can share if it has any impact on your mustachian goals and lifestyle?

I don't think it does. I know a lot of people talk about how seeing things on FB/social media creates a desire for a more perfect, curated life, full of riches, etc. But, my circle is mainly full of baby pictures, some political contents (well-founded or not), and a lot media outlets that I follow because I enjoy their content. I do see spendy vacations or outings occasionally, but rarely does it evoke envy in me. I'm more likely to be inspired by someone's hiking trip than someone's expensive vacation. And expensive dinners don't even really register/interest me. As with the rest of life, building frugality muscles changes the perspective from "I wish I had that" to "I'm glad I'm not paying for that."

You have strong muscles!  Sadly, I'm a bit more susceptible, but I'm working on it.

There are still moments, but it's gotten so much better over the years. And, now that I have more money than I ever thought I would I can honestly say, "I can afford that, but I don't choose it." And, I find a lot of power in that choice.

[SachaFiscal]

I was slow to adopt Facebook mostly because I'm kind of paranoid of having personal info on the internet and didn't trust Facebook privacy settings.  But eventually I realized I was missing out on info about friends visits and connecting with old friends so I got an account and quickly became addicted.  Anytime I had a few free moments I would check my Facebook feed.  I slowly started feeling a little bit bad about my life.  I felt like my life wasn't as great as it should be.  I started choosing things to do based on if they were Facebook post worthy.  I wasn't just experiencing my life in the moment but always thinking about how I would represent my life on my Facebook page.  Somehow I figured out that Facebook was making me unhappy.  So I deleted the app from my phone and just have it on my iPad.  I removed all notifications from Facebook so that I don't even think about it unless I open the app.  Now I visit the app a few times a month and just look at the pages of people I want to keep up with.  I feel a lot better about my life.  I also feel more motivated to make real life 3-D friends.  I'm very shy and it is difficult for me to make new friends which is why keeping up with old friends is so important to me.  But now that I'm not always on Facebook I've started doing activities which help me socialize more.

[Morning Glory]

I was a very late Facebook adopter and still only check it once a week or so, and maybe post a new kid picture every 3 months. I can't say it has ever made me want to buy anything, but I get frustrated with the political and religious crap, as well as the stuff that's just plain dumb.  I like seeing funny things and pictures of people's kids/ pets, but that's about it. If anyone knows how to filter it, let me know.

I avoid Pinterest because it makes me hungry, and I have never tried Twitter or Instagram​. I played with Snapchat for a week before I got bored and deleted it.

[marty998]

I'm on it... I don't really look at too much of the selfies / beach holiday / airbrushed instagrams etc. Unrealistic lives and all that crap, surefire way to make you miserable.

I "like" posts and pages that one of my friends is responsible for creating - she's a content producer. I also "like" photos put up by one of my neighbours who is a baby photographer.

Both are very good and make me smile.

I stay away from liking political posts. Would rather not have that toxic debate hit me in the face all the time.

[rdaneel0]

I love facebook, I think it unfairly gets a bad wrap. If everything in your feed is horrendous...that's just a reflection of the people around you. If it's someone you "have" to be friends with you can always just block their stuff from showing on your feed. I like it because I've moved a lot and my friends are all over the world, facebook (instagram too) gives me a window into their lives. It's fun even seeing the more mundane things because it just paints a whole picture of their life. I also use facebook for news and reading, I get all the updates from NASA, the new yorker, upworthy, national geographic, the smithsonian, and a bunch of other fun content sites (read: cats). I also follow a bunch of different photographers around the world, it's pretty awesome to see their work.

Anyway, I look at facebook as a daily magazine you can customize. It features people you know and whatever else you add in. I use it for photo storage as well, and so my friends from faraway can see what I'm up to. And it's free...pretty mustachian way to communicate.

[Noodle]

I like Facebook...but most of my feed is kid pics (fewer now that my friends' children are teenagers) and updates from my friends. I've lived all over the country at this point, and it's fun to hear about the lives of people that I liked but wasn't close enough to that I would likely email or call. I did have to "unfollow" some people around the election...not that I necessarily disagreed with the politics of what they were posting (although some of them weren't exactly meticulous about their sourcing) but I read the news once a day and do not really want to engage with it otherwise. I don't think I've really arranged my life by what would look good on Facebook but I've definitely noticed something and decided to take a picture because I thought my family would be interested in it.

[big_slacker]

I am on facebook so I can keep up with friends and family I'm not geographically close to. I have a browser extension that disables the feed and replaces it with inspirational quotes. I don't need to spend a bunch of time scrolling through. I get updates from a select group of people I want to follow so I'll see their pics and status updates.

I *DO* post a lot of epic outdoor photos, selfies and so on. It's not about faking a life, not my fault I'm awesome. :p

[mm1970]

Mostly I use it to keep up with family and friends.  We use it for party planning, reunion planning, scheduling.  I have a couple of private groups that are awesome for sharing life struggles, particularly with kids.  "My kid is doing X, argh!"  Great if you can talk to your friends, better in a group with 50 people who all have 4-5 year olds.  Good advice.

I did have to hide some people during the election.

meh, occasionally I think that I get the "wants" when seeing other people's vacations or houses on FB.

But lately, I started following "becoming minimalist", and I find it very inspiring and helpful from a mustachian standpoint.  One of the recent posts was all about spending and choices - and spending money on a fancy car but complaining about not being able to replace the roof is crazy.  I liked it so much I shared it.

It's probably unrelated to that post, but recently (couple of days later) I was talking to a neighbor about houses.  We are all feeling cramped.  A recent house came on the market that is large, beautiful, and in a great location - and about 60% more expensive that our houses (hundreds of thousands of dollars).  Neighbor's spouse says "we cannot afford it".  Neighbor says "well, we could, if we stopped spending so much on vacation, entertainment, and eating out."  So true, and the funny thing is...I had the EXACT conversation with Neighbor's SPOUSE 3 years ago.  Just took neighbor a bit longer to come around.

[life_travel]

I used to refuse being on Facebook and called my husband a FB whore as he was on it ALL the time .
Then I got an account 2 years ago to keep in touch with my son when we were away . My husband now has had enough of FB but I use it more . I check out daily but post maybe once a week . Change my profile pic 4 times a year :)
For me FB is like a magazine subscription , I read what's interesting , and skip the ads. I belong to a few closed groups that relate to outdoor activities , travel and mustachianism :)
So I don't really see any of the consumerist posts everyone is talking about .
We also travel a lot and host travelers in our house so it's a great way to keep in touch with those that live in other countries .

[BeautifulDay]

Just quit FB.  Used to be on there too much. I wasn't careful about who I allowed as friends. Some people I enjoy seeing on there, others not at all. My friends from childhood/some family/coworkers for the most part have very different political, religious, financial beliefs.  If they would just post vacation pics, family info, etc. it would be fine.  But I get frustrated with the other stuff.  Over time I just decided that people in general are better to connect with in person.  Online alter egos are too often their worst selves. 

I've started using twitter mostly to follow news. And instagram to post my photos.  I'm a hobby photographer.  There are a super select group of people on those sites that I follow but I'm careful about who I add.  I use Pinterest too to look for project ideas.

Maybe if I had been more selective in adding FB "friends" the site would have been more tolerable.

I guess I'm tempted to spend more money traveling because of these sites. But I think I'd be tempted without their help.  I just love to travel.  Money spent traveling to me is never a waste.  Travel is an important part of who I am.  So eh, I don't know that I'd say this was a problem for me.  What's the point of saving all your money, if it doesn't help live your life doing what you love.  Now if I can't afford it... that totally different.

Otherwise, I wouldn't say that I'm tempted to spend because of social media.

[Zikoris]

I love it. It's a great way to keep up with friends and family. I have an extremely short friends list (56 right now) that includes only people I have actual real life relationships with, and I'm genuinely interested in. If I don't care about someone, they're gone.

I'm don't get the "Facebook envy" thing. I love seeing people post pictures of cool places or fun activities - it gives me ideas for my own trips and activities! And a lot of my friends and family have told me they really like seeing my travel photos, since I go to some pretty exotic places (and I don't post selfies or 100 pictures of the same monument).

[Milizard]

I joined FB to keep up with my nieces, who I rarely see, and more easily send pictures of my kids to relatives who live in other states.  90+% of what I post is about the kids.  THe vast majority of my friends on FB found me, so they can take that as they will--annoying to them or no.

FB doesn't have much of a consumerist affect on me at all, excepting some nice houses I see and nice vacations.  Those make me jealous, but I didn't run out and go buy a different house or go on a fancy vacation myself.  Just wish I could *sigh*.

[Caoineag]

I log on yearly? I think..Let's just say Facebook gives me a welcome back email every time I log on. I use it to keep track of family and some friends. I think most of my family and friends use it the same way since I did not see a lot of original content the last time I logged on.

[cadillacmike]

No Way, massive intrusion and they have a bad habit of geolocating you. This got several British Officers killed while stationed in Northern Ireland a few years ago.

[teen persuasion]

My Facebook is just so I can follow the kids, I don't post anything.  New Hawaii pix, new quidditch pix, LARPing posts, music posts, it all gives me a window into their lives since leaving home.  DH posts more now that he's no longer teaching - he kept a pretty tight lock on his FB settings since he was at an alternative school.  My sis deliberately doesn't use social media, most likely influenced by her job (her choice, not forced), so I am a bit more inclined to less social media than more.

Ironically, I handle the social media at work as part of my duties.  I have to be aware of public perception, so I can't like things I may want to all the time.  I enjoy Twitter much more than FB at work, because we follow news and sites like Smithsonian, as well as fun topics like coding for kids. 

Pinterest is probably my real addiction - I have personal and work accounts that I follow often, pin tons, and I have several boards I've linked between the two accounts so I can send pins between them easily when logged on the other account.  It doesn't feed my wants, I just use it as it was designed - as a virtual pinboard for stashing all the interesting and someday-useful stuff I run across.  If anything, it probably stifles my wants - I've pinned way more stuff than I can ever get around to someday (think knitting patterns and cookie recipes), so it acts like a virtual stash of "stuff" that costs nothing and takes up no physical space.  For work, some boards are intended for the public (book club, new movies, e-book links, etc), while some are set private and I use them to brainstorm.  I'm constantly torn between too many pins per board vs too many boards, so I keep pestering the Pinterest people to allow nested boards for better hierarchical organization.

[Rowellen]

I'm on it far too often. But I have actively managed the content on my feed. I have excluded anything I find offensive, upsetting or annoying. Weight loss ads = gone. Political rant friend I haven't seen since high school = gone. Naked chick pics = gone. Plenty of people have found themselves unfollowed or unfriended for fakeness, stupidity or posting 6 times a day. I enjoy seeing my friends holidays and family pics. I don't care what they are eating for lunch. So I will unfollow people who post meal pics too often. I have hidden businesses that my friends have liked so keep showing up on my feed. I have unliked  pages that post too many silly memes. I follow pages that support my ideology like the minimalists, be more with less, private decluttering groups. I also follow pages relating to my kids activities and school. 

TL:DR I only follow people and pages that make me happy and is relevant to me.

[vittelx]

I find myself using reddit and pinterest much more than FB these days.

[h82goslw]

Hate FB.   Never understood why people post pics of what they're eating for dinner and when they're at the movies or some other mundane activity.     

[Apeshifter]

When you are both the consumer, and the product, I can only anticipate something like Facebook not acting in your best interests since it wants all your info and your eyeball time. Consequently I've just said "No".

[SomedayStache]

Fb is how I discover all the free local events around me, so I'll never completely disengage just for that reason.

I recently opened an Instagram, keeping it private, might not even accept any follower requests.  It's become my visual gratitude journal.  With a goal of posting one picture every day of something in life that makes me happy.  A few days ago it was my favorite pencil at work.  Yesterday it was the beautiful sky.
This act of noticing the good (even on days where everything is going wrong) is having a noticable affect on my attitude.

Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk

[BTDretire]

I post on Facebook to let everyone see pictures of my new car, selfies of me eating in expensive restaurants, pictures of my lavish vacations spots around the world, to show how handsome my kids are and how big my house is. In general that I don't have a single dull moment or a care in the world, basically how wonderful my life is compared to yours.

  In reality, I occasionally look at Facebook, mostly when prompted by an email that my daughter has posted and I check in to see what it's about. Otherwise I have little interest.
 I will add a few years ago my daughter got divorced, about 6 months later, the ex unfriended me. I made a big joke about being "unfriended".
  He probably unfriended me so I wouldn't make a Facebook post suggesting he pay me back for the money I gave him to fund his Roth IRA while he was sticking it to another woman. (thus the divorce)

[LadyStache in Baja]

It's all about how you CHOOSE to customize it. I went through and unfollowed any one who didn't post interesting stuff or who I didn't feel close enough to have a coffee with.

Now my feed is pretty fun. And I'm in several groups (read: forums) about mustachianism, minimalism, peaceful parenting, and other topics I find interesting. If I have a question I need answered, I post to these groups and get great ideas from "my tribe".

But yeah, tons of your fb "friends" are gonna post stupid shit, so unfollow them!

[TartanTallulah]

I signed up a few years ago because I had emails from two old friends from my school/university days inviting me. It turned out that one of them just wanted to play Farmville with me (WTF? I haven't seen you for 30 years and all you want to do is give me a bale of hay?) and the other, I can only assume, wanted me to look at what a nice life they had but wasn't interested in interacting.

I hate it. I hate that parents think it's OK to put photos of their kids at vulnerable times - having a tantrum, or with split lips from falling over - on the internet when those kids are too young to give informed consent. I feel a bit sick that people I like in real life are the sort of people who lob trite motivational slogans on Facebook several times a day or think casual racism and sexism and body-shaming are acceptable and even clever. Stop taking photos of your dinner and just eat it like a normal person, for unless you're an ace food photographer it's always going to look like vomit on a plate. "Type YES if you agree." Um, I don't remember appointing you boss of my brain/keyboard interface. And I know it's called FACEbook, and I think it's great that you're so comfortable with your appearance that you expect everyone to be delighted with a full-screen image of your gurning fizzog before they've had their first coffee, but I swear I can smell your breath through my screen.

I hardly ever post and should really just detach, but I'm a ghoul at heart. That, and I quite like the photos of scenery and bicycles :-)

[Rural]

 I resisted for years but finally had to give in so that I could communicate with my mother. Little old lady harassed me until I got a Facebook account. :-)


So, I accept any and all friend requests and immediately put everyone with whom I have never shared a last name  on the restricted list. Also, I've never made an original post outside of a closed group. I use the messenger and very rarely reply to a post made by one of my relatives.  I've been on for two years, and I think my post count hit double digits about a month ago.


I check in a couple of times a week to see what my mother's been doing.

[Rosy]

I joined FB, because it was a "work requirement" for an online side gig, years ago. I'm a sporadic user, but have come to appreciate the Facebook groups - gardening groups in my area and other special interest groups - most of them private groups.
It works well for staying in touch with family and friends overseas. Sometimes I even brag about my photosales there:)
Mr. R. doesn't FB

FB is a sign of the times, even if you yourself never open an account, some yahoo in your family or circle of friends can post a picture identifying you - end of privacy. FB technology for facial recognition is amazing, scary and improving all the time...

I really love pinterest - a great way to organize my favorite recipes, but I really enjoy having about 100 boards organized by area of interest. It's fun to see all the cool project ideas people from around the world have come up with.
Great way to find interesting websites too.
I have to ration my pinterest time or I'll spend days playing on there - so many projects - so little time... who can resist strawberry appetizers with Santa hats?:) - homemade cleaning solutions made with oranges from my garden? - the best hurricane bug out bag for when the big one hits? - cool pics of the hanging gardens in Asia?, yeah that's going on my bucket list...

Reddit - again, I joined because of work, don't really care for their format, but I find it essential for networking for my side gig work.

Instagram - connected because of my photography website, essential and fun.

[ptgearguy]

I have an account but very rarely use it.  I have never seen the draw and find it to be pretty boring and fake.  The friends I love and care about I keep close and the rest I don't really care too much about.  I tried to like it years ago because it seemed people really had fun with it.  But like most greedy stuff I find it usually shallow and useless

[Dicey]

I worked too damn hard to get to FIRE.  I'd much rather give my time to helping others get there via this site. Not sure that FB would be anything but a time-sucking black hole. I do think the virtual garage sale feature would be nice, but NextDoor scratches that itch for me.

I know it's early, but I'm happy to see the poll skewing so strongly against FB.

[Fomerly known as something]

I'm in a couple of online running groups.  I'm on it daily for a good kind of social pressure.  Seeing what everyone else ran today makes it more likely that I will get out my front door as well.

[GreenSheep]

No more Facebook. I used to check it daily, once a day. Never really got any useful information from it that I couldn't have gotten another way, and even to get those few useful tidbits, there was a lot of junk to wade through. The more I learn about privacy, the more I am against social media. I have zero social media accounts.

[Financial Ascensionist]

I look at Facebook daily, but my usage is probably atypical.  I never look at the newsfeed and only enable notifications for select groups and for very close friends.  I prune my list of connections frequently to make sure sure that I don't get exposed to toxic people or to people I can't possibly care about.  Using the platform this ways helps me to stay in touch with people who would be hard to connect with otherwise while avoiding most of the negative effect that you mentioned.  I don't think anyone needs Facebook and opting out is a perfectly valid choice.

[pachnik]

I started using FB about a year ago and post very rarely.  I only joined because a friend of mine who was having trouble communicating due to a serious mental illness began to do some posting.  I got friended really fast by some people in one of the circles i travel in and then I got friended by some extended family who I don't see often.  So maybe about 2 dozen people at the most are on my list.

I look at it most days but not every day.  If someone gets to be too much, I just unfollow them.  Basically, at first I found FB kind of overwhelming with all the stuff coming at me from people so I just unfollowed pretty much everyone and have slowly added people back.  What I like it for is I can follow businesses that I am interested in.  For example, the local market garden sends out notices about what they have available.  I find this really helpful. 

[ketchup]

I put "not a user" but I am on there, probably log in about 2-3 times a year for an hour or less each time. I just don't care. It's a net negative.

My GF is on there every day, but her business pretty much relies on it for networking and communication with clients.

[Bateaux]

Addicted.

[Gone_Hiking]

Not my thing.  For two reasons.  One, I'm entirely too busy with face-to-face interactions.  Two, the business model of treating people's lives as stuff to sell to advertises turns me off.