Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)

[rantk81]

I noticed today that it's payday and my net worth was higher yesterday morning than this morning due to the market doing down more than I got paid.  It's not a problem, I just think it's funny that I've now reached the point where relatively small market movements are having a bigger impact on my NW than my full-time employment income.

One day those daily fluctuations will be bigger than your entire year base salary  :D

[Sugaree]

I noticed today that it's payday and my net worth was higher yesterday morning than this morning due to the market doing down more than I got paid.  It's not a problem, I just think it's funny that I've now reached the point where relatively small market movements are having a bigger impact on my NW than my full-time employment income.

One day those daily fluctuations will be bigger than your entire year base salary  :D

Maybe.  I'm not sure that I'll stick around to build up a portfolio that big. 

[Alternatepriorities]

I noticed today that it's payday and my net worth was higher yesterday morning than this morning due to the market doing down more than I got paid.  It's not a problem, I just think it's funny that I've now reached the point where relatively small market movements are having a bigger impact on my NW than my full-time employment income.

One day those daily fluctuations will be bigger than your entire year base salary  :D

Maybe.  I'm not sure that I'll stick around to build up a portfolio that big.

I remember when that started happening on a regular basis. Obviously it’s more fun when it’s going up, “oh look I took the day off and still made two weeks pay today”.

[TreeLeaf]

I routinely don't don't drive my car for weeks at a time.

One time the battery died and now I'm paranoid about leaving it sit for too long but also too cheap to buy a battery tender so I try to drive it every few weeks even if I don't strictly need to.

[LennStar]

I routinely don't don't drive my car for weeks at a time.

One time the battery died and now I'm paranoid about leaving it sit for too long but also too cheap to buy a battery tender so I try to drive it every few weeks even if I don't strictly need to.

You need to drive it once a month simply to prevent your tires from blowing. (Did that 2 days ago, havent driven since Dez. 26th. Could feel a "bump" in the round things.) Don't be a Russian, move your car!

[TreeLeaf]

I routinely don't don't drive my car for weeks at a time.

One time the battery died and now I'm paranoid about leaving it sit for too long but also too cheap to buy a battery tender so I try to drive it every few weeks even if I don't strictly need to.

You need to drive it once a month simply to prevent your tires from blowing. (Did that 2 days ago, havent driven since Dez. 26th. Could feel a "bump" in the round things.) Don't be a Russian, move your car!

Oh - huh - good to know. I will not buy the battery tender then and try to drive it once a month.

Thanks for the info. :)

[Taran Wanderer]

I noticed today that it's payday and my net worth was higher yesterday morning than this morning due to the market doing down more than I got paid.  It's not a problem, I just think it's funny that I've now reached the point where relatively small market movements are having a bigger impact on my NW than my full-time employment income.

One day those daily fluctuations will be bigger than your entire year base salary  :D

Maybe.  I'm not sure that I'll stick around to build up a portfolio that big.

I remember when that started happening on a regular basis. Obviously it’s more fun when it’s going up, “oh look I took the day off and still made two weeks pay today”.

It gets worse [?] as the net worth gets higher. It’s wild to look back at my historical data and see how it took years to get to zero net worth (balancing student loans), and then +$10k, and then +$100k. Years of hard work and scrimping and saving. And now swings bigger than that happen regularly, and my reaction is “ho hum…”

[mspym]

I routinely don't don't drive my car for weeks at a time.

One time the battery died and now I'm paranoid about leaving it sit for too long but also too cheap to buy a battery tender so I try to drive it every few weeks even if I don't strictly need to.

You need to drive it once a month simply to prevent your tires from blowing. (Did that 2 days ago, havent driven since Dez. 26th. Could feel a "bump" in the round things.) Don't be a Russian, move your car!

Oh - huh - good to know. I will not buy the battery tender then and try to drive it once a month.

Thanks for the info. :)

Our tyres just shredded themselves from getting a flat because they were the original set from when we bought the car 7 years ago. Even if you don’t drive enough to wear them out, entropy still gets you in the end.

[RWD]

My company overcontributed to my HSA. Again. The contribution form even has a "100%" checkbox that I used and they still messed it up... I guess I need to plan on slightly less than max since they can't seem to figure this out (even though the 401k contributions cut off at max just fine).

My company does not calculate HSA contributions or do a max cut off.  We have to be aware of our pass-through plan contribution amount, subtract that, and pick a contribution amount that doesn't go over the max.

Totally lame

Name and shame!  What company is contracted to do the payroll?  It must be a small outfit if they don't get HSA cut-offs right.

My company uses UltiPro. Wikipedia says they have 5,000+ employees, so not a small outfit at all.

More follow-up on my HSA saga... HSA Bank has a new interface but still has links which use the old interface. Sometimes the same information is available on both sides. The new interface says I over-contributed by ~$20. The old interface says I over-contributed by 14 cents... The 14 cents number matches my own accounting and is probably fine for tax-filing purposes but still annoying.

But then... I just checked my W-2 form and it says I over-contributed by more than $300! Good grief, I don't even know how they could be that far off. I sent an e-mail to our accounting department, hopefully they can just issue me a corrected W-2.

Wow, this wasn't even just me. HR sent out an e-mail to everyone at the company that contributed to an HSA last year. The e-mail is worded carefully to make it sound like it was UltiPro's fault, but if you read closely it sounds like HR and/or accounting just didn't notice some changes and used the software incorrectly. So now they have to send corrected W-2s to everyone...

[LennStar]

Ah yes, the old "yes, there was a patch for half a year, but they only told us once we really need to install it!" does exist in HR too :D

[dandarc]

Still waiting on payroll company to fix 4th quarter 941. Technically W2 too, but I was able to file a corrected W2 via Turbotax. "I'm a one person business and I'm telling you the number in box 1 is wrong - just fix it". I even tracked down the re-production steps for their QA (actually simple - re-run a payroll twice that has 401k withholding in it and watch what happens) but they still haven't fixed it for this year and no hope of this being fixed in the software for next year either.

On the plus side, I'm now with a different, local company that will save me over $400 / year ($75 one-time startup, then $8 / month / person. Vs. $40 / month + $6 / month / person - that's gonna add up quickly). They even walked me through one-on-one over the phone everything I need to do with their software, which looks like something I'd have built as a college project ~2003.

*This was Wave Payroll - actually 2nd year in a row with a problem but last year I remember the service being a lot better. New (to me) Local company is payoutusa which is regional - have everything set up for February payroll at the end of month, we'll see how it goes. So if you're in the southeast US, have a fairly small business, and don't mind a pretty much naked HTML form type of website, they might work for you.

[LennStar]

I would trust a 20 year old software more than a 20 month old. Though with tax code, things are always changing, so there is always a pool of bugs waiting for you to fall in. 

[ixtap]

Market volatility lately makes putting in a large sell order terrifying.

Breath. It is what it is, we have decided to spend the money, whatever we get for this mutual funds today will be fine...

[ChpBstrd]

Market volatility lately makes putting in a large sell order terrifying.

Breath. It is what it is, we have decided to spend the money, whatever we get for this mutual funds today will be fine...

Just sell an out-of-the-money call option to lock in a price while collecting a small premium.

Oh, right... you're probably talking about VTSAX.

[ixtap]

Market volatility lately makes putting in a large sell order terrifying.

Breath. It is what it is, we have decided to spend the money, whatever we get for this mutual funds today will be fine...

Just sell an out-of-the-money call option to lock in a price while collecting a small premium.

Oh, right... you're probably talking about VTSAX.

I am a very bogleheaded Mustachian. Despite over 1% swings intraday, it all worked out fine.

[Taran Wanderer]

Our MPP:  We spent more in taxes last year than in all other out of pocket expenses combined.

[Dicey]

Our MPP:  We spent more in taxes last year than in all other out of pocket expenses combined.

Winner!!!

[La Bibliotecaria Feroz]

My new van* keeps suggesting that it might be time for the 10,000 service. It has like two or three thousand miles on it.

*"New van" might seem anti-Mustachian but used prices were pretty brutal last summer when baby #3 was arriving!

[RetiredAt63]

My new van* keeps suggesting that it might be time for the 10,000 service. It has like two or three thousand miles on it.

*"New van" might seem anti-Mustachian but used prices were pretty brutal last summer when baby #3 was arriving!

The new van is not anti-Mustachian given what was happening with used vehicles last year.  If it was the best price for the best vehicle for your needs and you use it for a long time or do a good resale, then it was a good Mustachian purchase.  If it has bells and whistles you don't use then but added to the price it wasn't that Mustachian.

[Alfred J Quack]

Ah yes, the old "yes, there was a patch for half a year, but they only told us once we really need to install it!" does exist in HR too :D

From my experience, it's probably listed in the releasenotes which didn't get read.

I'm on IT, releasenotes are the lifeblood of updates for the applications we update but if you try to get the business on board for a major change you get responses like 'we don't have time for that' or 'you guys are IT, you figure it out'.

Practical example, our ERP system allows 50 character job titles but is being cut back to 30 characters because Microsoft is pressuring the vendor to be compliant. HR says: we're not going to change the titles, those get printed on letters and the like.
My response: If you're not going to change anything, the titles will be automatically truncated at 30 characters when we migrate to the cloud, or even in our on-premise  software when we are forced to update because of changes in laws or the like.

HR: Surprised Pikachu

[NorCal]

Ah yes, the old "yes, there was a patch for half a year, but they only told us once we really need to install it!" does exist in HR too :D

From my experience, it's probably listed in the releasenotes which didn't get read.

I'm on IT, releasenotes are the lifeblood of updates for the applications we update but if you try to get the business on board for a major change you get responses like 'we don't have time for that' or 'you guys are IT, you figure it out'.

Practical example, our ERP system allows 50 character job titles but is being cut back to 30 characters because Microsoft is pressuring the vendor to be compliant. HR says: we're not going to change the titles, those get printed on letters and the like.
My response: If you're not going to change anything, the titles will be automatically truncated at 30 characters when we migrate to the cloud, or even in our on-premise  software when we are forced to update because of changes in laws or the like.

HR: Surprised Pikachu

I do similar work.  I must say I'm entirely grateful for the general migration to cloud software which forces companies to think about small updates & upgrades continuously.  It forces them to keep things up to date.  And it can be such a disaster when these systems get ignored forever.

I had a client who's ERP system was out of the 1980's, and only worked on those old computers that still had green monitors and all the data inputs were done with F-keys. 

The last people who knew how to work on this thing had retired decades ago, and no respectable consultant was willing to touch it.  Essentially, if someone tried to do anything other than data entry, it probably would have broken the system.  And there wasn't a person around that could recover it.  God forbid a hard drive failed.

I made a lot of money putting the data extract into a usable format.  Way more money than it would have cost them to buy into a better ERP system decades ago. 

[Dicey]

Any chance it was someone in the local floor covering industry?

[scottish]

My new van* keeps suggesting that it might be time for the 10,000 service. It has like two or three thousand miles on it.

*"New van" might seem anti-Mustachian but used prices were pretty brutal last summer when baby #3 was arriving!

The new van is not anti-Mustachian given what was happening with used vehicles last year.  If it was the best price for the best vehicle for your needs and you use it for a long time or do a good resale, then it was a good Mustachian purchase.  If it has bells and whistles you don't use then but added to the price it wasn't that Mustachian.

I've been looking for a new vehicle.   They all have bells and whistles I won't use.     

[LennStar]

Buy a bike. You will use the bell. And I am sure you could a whistle too.

[scottish]

I have a bike.   With a bell.   It's not as useful as you might think in the winter.

[GuitarStv]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

They might be useful if you're cycling on busy bike paths and don't want to be constantly yelling at folks around you, but if you're on the road they don't seem to serve any purpose.

[ixtap]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

They might be useful if you're cycling on busy bike paths and don't want to be constantly yelling at folks around you, but if you're on the road they don't seem to serve any purpose.

You don't have to take your hand off the brake to use a bike bell. However, I find that on mixed use paths, many walkers either ignore it or slowly turn to see what the fuss is about, taking up more space and changing their pace. Why?!?!

[TomTX]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

[ATtiny85]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

Yeah, exactly. A few years in Germany and no way I’d ride anywhere without my bell. Yelling? Rookie North American move. Ding the bell, it carries and is clear.

[Sibley]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

Tell me you're male without telling me you're male..... my hands simply aren't big enough to do what you describe. I also can't reach the brake the same way you do.

[ixtap]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

Tell me you're male without telling me you're male..... my hands simply aren't big enough to do what you describe. I also can't reach the brake the same way you do.

I have pretty tiny hands, had to get a special game controller. But I can mount a bell so that I move my thumb back and forth between the gear shift and the bell.

Or you can a mountain bike bell and drive everyone crazy!!

[LennStar]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

Tell me you're male without telling me you're male..... my hands simply aren't big enough to do what you describe. I also can't reach the brake the same way you do.

Tell me you have the wrong equipment without telling me you never tried to get the correct one.

I also have small hands and I have no problem reaching the bell. That is because it's installed right where I hold the handles. Which is the normal place, don't know where you have it. I mean if my cousins 7 year old can reach the bell on her bike, then shurely an adult should be able to!

[GuitarStv]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

I'm guessing that you're riding a flat bar bike for short trips off the road most of the time, right?

Because honest curiosity here:


Where should a bell be located so that I can keep my hands over the brakes and ring it with my thumb?  I'm a guy with larger than average hands, and definately can't reach a bell with my thumb while riding on the hoods or in the drops when the bell is attached on the unwrapped part of the bars near the stem.  I would have to be riding on the tops, away from the brake.  I've tried strapping one over the bar tape on the tops, but then still can't reach it from the drops (where I spend a good portion of my time) and can no longer use the tops when I'm going up a long climb.

The majority of my riding is done in traffic on the road with no cycling infrastructure.  As far as I can tell (from the time that I was using a bell on my bike) the polite little 'ding ding' is completely inaudible to cars.  But the same cars can definitely hear me when I yell.  I don't really see the advantage of using one except as previously mentioned - on a busy mixed use path where you are constantly trying to go around slow people walking and want a quiet, polite ding ding rather than constantly using your voice.

I'm willing to be corrected if missing something, but for the riding that I do bells seem pretty useless.

[LennStar]

wow I have never seen that type before.

Also that POV looks painful :D

[GuitarStv]

wow I have never seen that type before.

Also that POV looks painful :D

The pros learn to skootch their butts back onto the saddle rather than balancing the crotch on the stem.

:P

[Loren Ver]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

I'm guessing that you're riding a flat bar bike for short trips off the road most of the time, right?

Because honest curiosity here:

DUDE!  I wonder what Vault that photo guy is from?!?!

[Taran Wanderer]

Nobody has seen a road bike???

[mspym]

Nobody has seen a road bike???

I mean, I converted my bike from a road bike setup to a porteur style, which solved the how to ring a bell issue because now it's right by my hand. I will say, it was a lot more difficult to ring when I had the old cockpit, and I ended up calling out "excuse me!" a lot instead of using the bell.

[Sydney *loves* bell-ringing, no idea why but it's somehow ruder to call out than it is to ring]

[Extramedium]

I don't think it's so difficult or unsafe to take my hand away from brake levers for the 1.5 sec it takes to ring a bell and replace my hand (if I take my time).  I use this often when cycling on a mixed-use path, as pedestrians I'm passing often will not seem to hear my voice calling out as well as they do a clear bell sound, either because of conversations with each other or walking with earbuds/headphone playing.

[ATtiny85]

I have pedaled many thousands of miles on a road bike with a bell nearby. I spend most of my time on the hoods, and simply strapped the bell where I could ding it without much more than a finger flick. Of course it’s positioned so it doesn’t interfere with shifting or braking. Not sure why some people seem to be anti-bell, but not much surprises me here. At least no one is saying “I don’t make any noise, I just blow by people, they should be aware of me.” So I’ll take that as a win.

[ATtiny85]

I don't think it's so difficult or unsafe to take my hand away from brake levers for the 1.5 sec it takes to ring a bell and replace my hand (if I take my time).  I use this often when cycling on a mixed-use path, as pedestrians I'm passing often will not seem to hear my voice calling out as well as they do a clear bell sound, either because of conversations with each other or walking with earbuds/headphone playing.

I am impressed that these hardcore riders on here apparently never use a water bottle while riding. Quite impressive.

And apparently they also don’t don’t use hand signals. That’s not impressive, just bad bike riding, but whatever.

[sonofsven]

My new van* keeps suggesting that it might be time for the 10,000 service. It has like two or three thousand miles on it.

*"New van" might seem anti-Mustachian but used prices were pretty brutal last summer when baby #3 was arriving!

The new van is not anti-Mustachian given what was happening with used vehicles last year.  If it was the best price for the best vehicle for your needs and you use it for a long time or do a good resale, then it was a good Mustachian purchase.  If it has bells and whistles you don't use then but added to the price it wasn't that Mustachian.

I've been looking for a new vehicle.   They all have bells and whistles I won't use.   

I bought a base model Nissan truck last year, but I got the "technology package". There's only two things I like: the "rumble" the steering wheel makes when you stray over the fog line or center line, and the little light that goes on in the edge of your rear view mirrors (side) when a car is in your blind spot.; that's helpful on the freeway. The rear sensors I turn off mostly since I tow a lot. That's it.

[Weisass]

I don't think it's so difficult or unsafe to take my hand away from brake levers for the 1.5 sec it takes to ring a bell and replace my hand (if I take my time).  I use this often when cycling on a mixed-use path, as pedestrians I'm passing often will not seem to hear my voice calling out as well as they do a clear bell sound, either because of conversations with each other or walking with earbuds/headphone playing.

I am impressed that these hardcore riders on here apparently never use a water bottle while riding. Quite impressive.

And apparently they also don’t don’t use hand signals. That’s not impressive, just bad bike riding, but whatever.

I don’t have a bell, not sure why. But I’m religious about hand signals. If you can’t ride safely with one hand off the handlebars, that seems problematic.

[TomTX]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

Tell me you're male without telling me you're male..... my hands simply aren't big enough to do what you describe. I also can't reach the brake the same way you do.

Sounds more like you have a bell placement issue, possibly other equipment issues. When my (then) 4 year old could reach the hand brake and also ring the bell I put on his bike... it makes me wonder why you're automatically making gendered assumptions with an accusatory undertone. For the record, my hands (wrist to tip) are no longer than my wife's (though chunkier) - and neither of us have large hands.

[ProxyRetired]

Dang bank is closed for the holiday.

I had an extra mortgage payment to make!

[sonofsven]

Dang bank is closed for the holiday.

I had an extra mortgage payment to make!

Yeah, I was expecting a bank bonus today!
Stupid presidents.

[Dicey]

Dang bank is closed for the holiday.

I had an extra mortgage payment to make!

Perhaps the universe is trying to tell you something...

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/dont-payoff-your-mortgage-club/

[GuitarStv]

I don't think it's so difficult or unsafe to take my hand away from brake levers for the 1.5 sec it takes to ring a bell and replace my hand (if I take my time).  I use this often when cycling on a mixed-use path, as pedestrians I'm passing often will not seem to hear my voice calling out as well as they do a clear bell sound, either because of conversations with each other or walking with earbuds/headphone playing.

I'm comfortable putting on a or taking off a jacket while cycling with both hands off the bars, and eat/drink without stopping on every long ride  - so certainly wouldn't say that it's difficult to take your hand off the brake levers to ring a bell.  Context and timing matters when it comes to safety though.

As mentioned, the majority of my riding takes place on the road.  The times that it's necessary to notify other road users of something (like if they seem about to cut me off), I am invariably in close proximity to a car or truck and thus  want to be covering both my brakes with my hands.  Removing my hands from the bars in this sort of situation is dangerous, as that 1.5 seconds of time could easily lead to a crash if the car doesn't hear the bell or simply ignores it and I have to swerve or brake hard.

I'd also say that if others do not hear your voice, you are probably not raising it enough.  My 9 year old child can easily out yell the bell on his bike.  An adult voice is hella louder than a bike bell, and (unlike the bell) can be heard over traffic and engine noise, and usually over music through closed car windows.

For bike path stuff without traffic where things are moving very slowly and it's quiet enough for a little ding sound to notify others of your location - sure, bells serve a purpose.  Much friendlier than screaming!  On the road though, bells are pretty useless and often dangerous to use.

[ProxyRetired]

Dang bank is closed for the holiday.

I had an extra mortgage payment to make!

Perhaps the universe is trying to tell you something...

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/throw-down-the-gauntlet/dont-payoff-your-mortgage-club/

Nah, I split my extra loot between investing and mortgage payments. I straddle those two groups. :)

[APowers]

I don't think that there's much point to a bell on a bike.  At least not for the vast majority of people.  Most people are already equipped with a loud noise making device that can be activated instantly without the danger of removing your hands from the brakes.

Wut? Why would I remove my hands from the brakes? I just use my left thumb to ring the bell. 4 fingers on the left hand and all of the right hand are still available for braking if needed.

I'm guessing that you're riding a flat bar bike for short trips off the road most of the time, right?

Because honest curiosity here:


Where should a bell be located so that I can keep my hands over the brakes and ring it with my thumb?  I'm a guy with larger than average hands, and definitely can't reach a bell with my thumb while riding on the hoods or in the drops when the bell is attached on the unwrapped part of the bars near the stem.  I would have to be riding on the tops, away from the brake.  I've tried strapping one over the bar tape on the tops, but then still can't reach it from the drops (where I spend a good portion of my time) and can no longer use the tops when I'm going up a long climb.

The majority of my riding is done in traffic on the road with no cycling infrastructure.  As far as I can tell (from the time that I was using a bell on my bike) the polite little 'ding ding' is completely inaudible to cars.  But the same cars can definitely hear me when I yell.  I don't really see the advantage of using one except as previously mentioned - on a busy mixed use path where you are constantly trying to go around slow people walking and want a quiet, polite ding ding rather than constantly using your voice.

I'm willing to be corrected if missing something, but for the riding that I do bells seem pretty useless.

Um, don't mount it on the unwrapped part of the handlebars? Based on the hand position in that pic, I'd expect the bell placement to be mounted kind of on the end of the black piece-- i.e., placed so you can ring it with your thumb. Or maybe somewhere on the curve of the bar-- again, whereever your thumb could reach it while you're in the drops.

However, I agree that a bell is pretty useless when mixing with vehicular traffic.