Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)

[LennStar]

Some fancy soap or the like? (I know some people consider this a silent hint for body hygiene, but in case you don't belong to them.) Like in a glass bottle that can be wrapped in paper.

Do you cook at all? An expensive knife. (But make sure it's quality, there are some blatent frauds.) It takes a decade to get a full set and they will serve you a life. The first time I used my (presented) 90€ santoku I nearly cut myself because it went through so easy, even though I only used half the strength as before with my cheap shop veggie knife.

[Josiecat22222]

@Dollar Slice - what about a day at a dayspa, preferably with your mom? THis may not be your thing at all, but a massage and some pampering is a gift that doesn't accumulate in your home.   
We had a big discussion with our family a few years ago and told them we want to share experiences, not accumulate things.  So instead of gifts, we schedule a family vacation every couple of years.  It worked pretty well until COVID.....  we now need to reopen that dialogue!

[dcheesi]

Easy answer in my family --booze!

[Shinplaster]

@Dollar Slice - do you have a digital instant read meat thermometer?   I just got one for our DIL, and they are surprisingly pricey if you get a good one. (says the woman still using her 15 year old $5 non-digital one).    The good thing about those is that they really are useful, small, and slide into a drawer easily, but could also convince your Mom that she is gifting you something of quality?

[sui generis]

My MPP is sort of the opposite of Goldielocks'. We have a Friendsgiving potluck we've done for a number of years and DH and I are well-trained to bring our own tupperware to take part in the leftover bounty.  Everyone brings so much of their 1-2 dishes that they are begging everyone else to take as much as they want.  Unfortunately, as I was taking our leftover portions, the person that had made a dish neither of us really enjoyed was standing there and encouraging me to take as much as I could and watching me dish things up!  I was a victim of my own mustachianism in bringing plenty of my own tupperware, because it was obvious I still had a couple empty ones available and no excuse not to take some of her creation.  She's an extremely nice person and I appreciate the joy everyone gets from sharing around, but I definitely had to force down her leftovers over the weekend (I still ate it of course!).

[force majeure]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

[LennStar]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

[dcheesi]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

TBF, the utility bill question might be related to proof of residence. From there, the "burner" phone might further stoke speculation/imagination that friend might be trying to open an account under a false identity? EDIT: or, what @LennStar said

[NorCal]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

When I worked in a related industry a decade ago, a checking account created about $600 in expenses for the bank in a year.  I didn’t get a good handle on the revenue case though.

[EscapeVelocity2020]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

He has over a million dollars in a bank account?  Does he not know it is only insured up to $250k pp??  Sounds more like a money launderer than a legitimate saver, and certainly not Mustachian to leave that much money lazing about earning nominal, if any, interest.

Is your friend SBF by any chance?

[BicycleB]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

He has over a million dollars in a bank account?  Does he not know it is only insured up to $250k pp??  Sounds more like a money launderer than a legitimate saver, and certainly not Mustachian to leave that much money lazing about earning nominal, if any, interest.

Is your friend SBF by any chance?

lol

[Goldielocks]

I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy.

We've been brining our turkeys for a while now, I find that it really makes a difference for the better.  bacon wrapping sounds interesting too . . . but how much bacon do you need?  And does the skin of the turkey still come out crispy and yummy?

PSST -- if you buy cheap utility grade turkeys (you know, the ones that used to be 99c/lb? and are missing a wing?), they come pre-brined.

Why?  So they don't freezer burn and they charge a bit more for the water weight.

[TomTX]

I went to my friends' house for Thanksgiving this year.  They didn't want the dark meat nor the bones!  I got to take the best parts of the bird.  I made 6 quarts of stock and got 4 meals out of the meat.

White turkey meat tastes like dry cardboard. Give me the juicy deep flavor of the dark meat any day.

I am so sorry you have never been offered a properly cooked turkey!

It's easier when you flip the bird to breast-side-down for most of the roasting - I do it after after some initial browning at high temperature. No, you don't get the pretty "idealized picture" of a turkey - but screw that. I want it cooked well.

[GuitarStv]

I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy.

We've been brining our turkeys for a while now, I find that it really makes a difference for the better.  bacon wrapping sounds interesting too . . . but how much bacon do you need?  And does the skin of the turkey still come out crispy and yummy?

PSST -- if you buy cheap utility grade turkeys (you know, the ones that used to be 99c/lb? and are missing a wing?), they come pre-brined.

Why?  So they don't freezer burn and they charge a bit more for the water weight.

We used to get utility turkeys all the time, but in the last while I almost never see them at our grocery store.  I'll have to remember to check if they're pre-brined though, that would be a great time saver.

[TomTX]

We used to get utility turkeys all the time, but in the last while I almost never see them at our grocery store.  I'll have to remember to check if they're pre-brined though, that would be a great time saver.

The Riverside brand at HEB is pre-brined.

[Miss Piggy]

New thing learned today: Utility turkeys.

[fuzzy math]

My MPP is sort of the opposite of Goldielocks'. We have a Friendsgiving potluck we've done for a number of years and DH and I are well-trained to bring our own tupperware to take part in the leftover bounty.  Everyone brings so much of their 1-2 dishes that they are begging everyone else to take as much as they want.  Unfortunately, as I was taking our leftover portions, the person that had made a dish neither of us really enjoyed was standing there and encouraging me to take as much as I could and watching me dish things up!  I was a victim of my own mustachianism in bringing plenty of my own tupperware, because it was obvious I still had a couple empty ones available and no excuse not to take some of her creation.  She's an extremely nice person and I appreciate the joy everyone gets from sharing around, but I definitely had to force down her leftovers over the weekend (I still ate it of course!).

This made me giggle!

[Goldielocks]

I usually brine my turkey and then wrap it in bacon while it roasts.  I'm not sure which one has the greater effect, but it usually turns out pretty juicy.

We've been brining our turkeys for a while now, I find that it really makes a difference for the better.  bacon wrapping sounds interesting too . . . but how much bacon do you need?  And does the skin of the turkey still come out crispy and yummy?

PSST -- if you buy cheap utility grade turkeys (you know, the ones that used to be 99c/lb? and are missing a wing?), they come pre-brined.

Why?  So they don't freezer burn and they charge a bit more for the water weight.

We used to get utility turkeys all the time, but in the last while I almost never see them at our grocery store.  I'll have to remember to check if they're pre-brined though, that would be a great time saver.

If they don't use a lot of salt or other additives, frozen turkeys are "wet processed", some are injected with seasoned water (like hams).This may or may not be on the label.  Think of it as opposite the heavily marketed "air chilled" label on chicken you buy at the grocery. 

[ixtap]

We do our portfolio snapshot the first weekend of December. Treasury Direct was down, so I had to make an educated guess about how much interest is accrued. A transfer was showing as complete in the receiving account, but not out of the outgoing account, luckily I caught that. These could have all added up to like a 0.1% error in our allocation!

I have never cooked a whole turkey myself.

[highplainsdrifter]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

A bank makes money primarily from loans, where do they get money to loan out? They loan the money that is held in people's accounts. So I argue that yes, banks make money from your accounts, by lending out your money. Yay for fractional reserve banking systems. It does cost banks money to maintain accounts, but they make more money lending out customers money otherwise they'd be out of business.

[mspym]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

A bank makes money primarily from loans, where do they get money to loan out? They loan the money that is held in people's accounts. So I argue that yes, banks make money from your accounts, by lending out your money. Yay for fractional reserve banking systems. It does cost banks money to maintain accounts, but they make more money lending out customers money otherwise they'd be out of business.

The good thing is you are both right. Banks have two main sources of income
- Net interest income - generated from the difference between the interest rate paid to savers and charged to borrowers
- Non interest income - interchange fees, bank fees, insurance products etc

My MPP is my brain holds on to nonsense like this and forgets more important things like what day of the week it is. I'm hoping another 6 months of not-working in fintech will eventually overwrite this.

[markbike528CBX]

....snip....

My MPP is my brain holds on to nonsense like this and forgets more important things like what day of the week it is. I'm hoping another 6 months of not-working in fintech will eventually overwrite this.

After not-working for 6 months your brain will rewrite the fact that neither bank profits nor day of the week is important.

What IS important is left as an exercise for the reader.

[mspym]

....snip....

My MPP is my brain holds on to nonsense like this and forgets more important things like what day of the week it is. I'm hoping another 6 months of not-working in fintech will eventually overwrite this.

After not-working for 6 months your brain will rewrite the fact that neither bank profits nor day of the week is important.

What IS important is left as an exercise for the reader.

... days of the week are a little important when it comes to medicating one's dog MWF...

[LennStar]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

A bank makes money primarily from loans, where do they get money to loan out? They loan the money that is held in people's accounts. So I argue that yes, banks make money from your accounts, by lending out your money. Yay for fractional reserve banking systems. It does cost banks money to maintain accounts, but they make more money lending out customers money otherwise they'd be out of business.

That's a part of the truth, but really just the smaller one.
Banks are lending each other money. And they can use that money to create more. To, for example, lend it to another bank.

That's the hilarious part of all those people crying about the state "printing" money. That little bit the state prints does not really make a difference. Not to mention that afaik no state prints money but a private bank  on order of the state, if at all. Most EU banks, especially the EU bank itself, are (nominally) not beholden to any state.

[RWD]

Fellow Mustachian guy I know, is a bit of a digital nomad.
Anyway, he was trying to open a bank account, he overheard a manager saying about him to a bank teller...
"Do we really want a new client who has no utility bills, and a burner mobile phone?"
He has 7 figures in another bank account.

A bank does not make profit from your account (even though that is what everyone still tells you). They make money by selling you other things, like insurances or cards or investment opportunities. And fees if you are in the red.

So someone who has no utility, how much use do you think he has for e.g. home insurance?

But I think the question was more likely "He is ready to run at every second and we have no way to track him, do we want him owing us money?"

A bank makes money primarily from loans, where do they get money to loan out? They loan the money that is held in people's accounts. So I argue that yes, banks make money from your accounts, by lending out your money. Yay for fractional reserve banking systems. It does cost banks money to maintain accounts, but they make more money lending out customers money otherwise they'd be out of business.

That's not strictly true...
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Money_creation

[flow321]

My friends are convinced that my recent switch to biking wherever I can is due to a D.U.I.  :-)

Lol yeah people think I'm crazy for biking to work in freezing weather, but also biking everywhere else. It's crazy how people would rather drive and sit in traffic than bike and also burn calories.

[GuitarStv]

My friends are convinced that my recent switch to biking wherever I can is due to a D.U.I.  :-)

Lol yeah people think I'm crazy for biking to work in freezing weather, but also biking everywhere else. It's crazy how people would rather drive and sit in traffic than bike and also burn calories.

You're dressed wrong.

Before wearing spandex while cycling I would get regular questions and comments about a DUI.  With spandex and a road bike, I only get occasional questions about triathlons.  :P

[Sugaree]

My kid has a small UTMA.  This account is basically for him to learn about investing and he's pretty excited about owning a tiny little piece of companies that he knows.  We've talked about both individual stocks and mutual funds.  I generally let him pick a few individual stocks and put the rest into SWTSX.  He's usually pretty good at picking out companies that he thinks will make a lot of money (his first two choices were MCD and WMT...of course in March of 2020 everything was on sale).  However, now he wants to buy GME.  I asked a few questions, and surprisingly it has nothing to do with the whole over-shorted fiasco.  He is obsessed with the PS5 and knows that Gamestop is the place that keeps advertising the digital version at <$400 (he is starting to realize that they are never in stock at that price though).  We talked a little about GME and shorting and meme stocks.  I explained that I didn't think it was a good buy,  but he's insistent.  So, as much as it pains me, I think I'm going to get a share for him.  It's like $25 and will be a good lesson for him.

[ChpBstrd]

My kid has a small UTMA.  This account is basically for him to learn about investing and he's pretty excited about owning a tiny little piece of companies that he knows.  We've talked about both individual stocks and mutual funds.  I generally let him pick a few individual stocks and put the rest into SWTSX.  He's usually pretty good at picking out companies that he thinks will make a lot of money (his first two choices were MCD and WMT...of course in March of 2020 everything was on sale).  However, now he wants to buy GME.  I asked a few questions, and surprisingly it has nothing to do with the whole over-shorted fiasco.  He is obsessed with the PS5 and knows that Gamestop is the place that keeps advertising the digital version at <$400 (he is starting to realize that they are never in stock at that price though).  We talked a little about GME and shorting and meme stocks.  I explained that I didn't think it was a good buy,  but he's insistent.  So, as much as it pains me, I think I'm going to get a share for him.  It's like $25 and will be a good lesson for him.

Maybe frame GME against other kid-interesting stocks like HAS, NTDOY, RBLX, ATVI, TTWO, EA, or BBW. This would be a good opportunity to introduce the concept of earnings rather than superficial product appeal. "Do you want to buy a company that earns money or loses money?"

[Sugaree]

My kid has a small UTMA.  This account is basically for him to learn about investing and he's pretty excited about owning a tiny little piece of companies that he knows.  We've talked about both individual stocks and mutual funds.  I generally let him pick a few individual stocks and put the rest into SWTSX.  He's usually pretty good at picking out companies that he thinks will make a lot of money (his first two choices were MCD and WMT...of course in March of 2020 everything was on sale).  However, now he wants to buy GME.  I asked a few questions, and surprisingly it has nothing to do with the whole over-shorted fiasco.  He is obsessed with the PS5 and knows that Gamestop is the place that keeps advertising the digital version at <$400 (he is starting to realize that they are never in stock at that price though).  We talked a little about GME and shorting and meme stocks.  I explained that I didn't think it was a good buy,  but he's insistent.  So, as much as it pains me, I think I'm going to get a share for him.  It's like $25 and will be a good lesson for him.

Maybe frame GME against other kid-interesting stocks like HAS, NTDOY, RBLX, ATVI, TTWO, EA, or BBW. This would be a good opportunity to introduce the concept of earnings rather than superficial product appeal. "Do you want to buy a company that earns money or loses money?"

Ooh....I like it. 

[Sibley]

....snip....

My MPP is my brain holds on to nonsense like this and forgets more important things like what day of the week it is. I'm hoping another 6 months of not-working in fintech will eventually overwrite this.

After not-working for 6 months your brain will rewrite the fact that neither bank profits nor day of the week is important.

What IS important is left as an exercise for the reader.

... days of the week are a little important when it comes to medicating one's dog MWF...

Automatic reminders. Because I may not know the day, but the computer does.

[RetiredAt63]

My friends are convinced that my recent switch to biking wherever I can is due to a D.U.I.  :-)

Lol yeah people think I'm crazy for biking to work in freezing weather, but also biking everywhere else. It's crazy how people would rather drive and sit in traffic than bike and also burn calories.

You're dressed wrong.

Before wearing spandex while cycling I would get regular questions and comments about a DUI.  With spandex and a road bike, I only get occasional questions about triathlons.  :P

Giggle snort.    ;-)

[dragoncar]

... days of the week are a little important when it comes to medicating one's dog MWF...

That's just an approximation for those who don't want to give their dog medication every 56 hours.  You can do it without getting a case of the muuundays

[fuzzy math]

My Dec paycheck was processed early before I expected it. In order to keep from losing any company match (by avoiding overcontributing in Nov), I had needed to go back for the month of Dec and adjust my retirement contribution up a couple percentage points. Since I didn't do it in time, I'm missing out on $194 of tax advantaged account space. UGH!!!

[mspym]

My Dec paycheck was processed early before I expected it. In order to keep from losing any company match (by avoiding overcontributing in Nov), I had needed to go back for the month of Dec and adjust my retirement contribution up a couple percentage points. Since I didn't do it in time, I'm missing out on $194 of tax advantaged account space. UGH!!!

In 10 years time, that $194 would be worth $381.63*! A fortune in lentils, thrown away.

*assuming 7% p.a. returns

[fuzzy math]

It’s the principle!!! I’ve maxed this account every year for ages.
Maybe I’ll just go blow the money on actual lentils instead.

[mspym]

It’s the principle!!! I’ve maxed this account every year for ages.
Maybe I’ll just go blow the money on actual lentils instead.

It's the principle of maximising tax-free principal!
Maybe lentils will provide an alternate form of diversification.

[Ysera]

We didn't create very much trash last month, and not seeing much in the bin caused me to space our monthly trash pickup. 😐

[Siebrie]

It's my 51st birthday today :) and I really had no idea what to ask for from my husband and dds (we're also in the middle of major renovations; any items I can display or need to store are not welcome at the moment).

I asked for a Museum Pass (€59/year), which gives me 1 year free entry to around 225 musea in Belgium AND I asked for 1 day a month to enjoy these visits husband- and childfree :D And that's what they gave me this morning.

[LennStar]

It's my 51st birthday today :) and I really had no idea what to ask for from my husband and dds (we're also in the middle of major renovations; any items I can display or need to store are not welcome at the moment).

I asked for a Museum Pass (€59/year), which gives me 1 year free entry to around 225 musea in Belgium AND I asked for 1 day a month to enjoy these visits husband- and childfree :D And that's what they gave me this morning.

Yes, the old problem. My mother and me just "present" us some sort of clothes we need. Or in my case also a certain shampoo I can't get here. Sort of pointless, but well...

[Dicey]

It's my 51st birthday today :) and I really had no idea what to ask for from my husband and dds (we're also in the middle of major renovations; any items I can display or need to store are not welcome at the moment).

I asked for a Museum Pass (€59/year), which gives me 1 year free entry to around 225 musea in Belgium AND I asked for 1 day a month to enjoy these visits husband- and childfree :D And that's what they gave me this morning.

Happy birthday! Did you know if you put your DOB in your forum profile you get cake?

[Travis]

Living in base housing this year means my housing allowance is pulled straight from my paycheck to the management company so I don't see it. Also I don't pay utilities here. The 2nd order effect is that in my accounting system it appears my take home pay has dropped and I'm not paying rent. 3rd order effect is the spreadsheet that records my monthly and historical spending and net worth thinks my living expenses have plummeted.

[Siebrie]

In Belgium, they retroactively raised the 'travel for work' reimbursement. Now, I have to redo the expense report for the 2 days in March that I represented our company at a fair, which totalled around €5, to add ~€1.30. My boss insists.

I had another expense to claim reimbursement for, so I added the adjusted travel expense claim; it came to a wopping € 1.88!

[Alfred J Quack]

In Belgium, they retroactively raised the 'travel for work' reimbursement. Now, I have to redo the expense report for the 2 days in March that I represented our company at a fair, which totalled around €5, to add ~€1.30. My boss insists.

I had another expense to claim reimbursement for, so I added the adjusted travel expense claim; it came to a wopping € 1.88!

At work we had a choice, keep current reimbursement plan or move to a new plan. The new plan has €450,- a year spending for personal wellness, which can be used for things like sports, sauna, new bike etc.
The current plan had literally €0,- I could get reimbursement so no-choice, really 😎

[LennStar]

In Belgium, they retroactively raised the 'travel for work' reimbursement. Now, I have to redo the expense report for the 2 days in March that I represented our company at a fair, which totalled around €5, to add ~€1.30. My boss insists.

I had another expense to claim reimbursement for, so I added the adjusted travel expense claim; it came to a wopping € 1.88!

I had to fill out a form yesterday for 2€ too.
Then I have to send it to the office where it will be checked and then send to the tax office to be included in my pay.
If you take the hourly pay of the 3 people involved, then this whole process will probably cost 20€.

[Fomerly known as something]

The Patagonia Calpaline shirt I bought in the Fall of 1997 is starting to develop a hole.  I’m going to have to replace it.

[ChpBstrd]

The Patagonia Calpaline shirt I bought in the Fall of 1997 is starting to develop a hole.  I’m going to have to replace it.

Facepunch for not sewing / patching it.

[Taran Wanderer]

Facepunch:  Couldn’t your holey shirt be considered a holy shirt?

[Hadilly]

Patagonia will repairs stuff if you can take it to a store or send it in.

[Taran Wanderer]

I’ve had them both repair and not repair jackets. On the “not repair”, they just replaced the jacket. Kinda felt bad about that, but hey, new free jacket!