Author Topic: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)  (Read 5086960 times)

sui generis

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8650 on: April 28, 2021, 01:23:46 PM »
When MIL stays over night she has to bring her own coffee, accoutrements, and coffee maker since we don't drink coffee and have no way or knowledge on how to make it. 


My parents didn’t like my Nespresso machine, that I have now sold, so next time before they came to visit I got a notification of a packet from a home appliance store. They had ordered me a coffee machine.

My grandmother and many in her generations put cream and sugar into their coffee. It was the cream that you whipp cream from.

When I was in Vietnam I ordered coffee with milk and sometimes I got this horrible sweet coffee. It took me a while to realise why I only got it sometimes. Sometimes they asked me if I wanted real milk, which I said yes to. Other times I ordered black to avoid the hideous sugar thing and the Vietnamese were asking if I really wanted it like that because it is strong. Then I realised that when it was disgustingly sweet it was condensed milk.

Here oatmilk is pretty common in companies but you can also get regular and lactosefree. If I am visiting I would drink what was offered, while I drink lactosefree daily milk at home.

Blasphemy!!! Vietnamese iced coffee (and Thai iced coffee) are amazing delicacies! They are meant to go over a huge cup of ice to thin them out and be sipped leisurely. I wouldn't want to be served one for breakfast, but with lunch or dinner they're a great pairing. They help cut the spice in your mouth if you order your food too spicy accidentally

Likewise I can enjoy sipping one of those crazy sweet Starbucks beverages as like a dessert or something.  But if I got that when I was expecting a regular coffee I’d be a bit put off

I didn’t order iced coffee but a regular coffeee. If someone wants to drown their coffee in sugar and destroy it they are welcome. For me it is bladphemy to destroy a good beverage by turning it to a sugar drink.

In Sweden Starbucks has been closing down their coffee shops one after another. Their watered down version of coffee that americans call coffee is rejected. It is commonly referred to as tea with coffee taste. Hawaii, though, has amazing coffee.

I don't think Starbucks is doing too well in my country either. They're mainly in railway stations and in my city they're located right between the fancy Italian coffeeshop and the decent cheap coffeeshop, and Starbucks coffee is like €6, almost twice what fancy Italian costs and 3 x the price of the cheap decent coffee. And they take at least 5 minutes to make your coffee, which is a long time when you need to catch a train or bus. Starbucks customers seem to be young women who don't actually like the taste of coffee but want to be seen carrying "cool" coffee. Ever since the pandemic, Starbucks is empty whenever I pass.

I don't drink coffee but I sometimes do go to Starbucks.  When I feel like having a milkshake they are usually the closest at hand with a great variety of choices!  I think the people I most often see drinking Starbucks are teenagers and even younger children.  Which makes sense, since most of what they serve are milkshakes! But also reminds me of when I was a kid and my parents would tell me I can't have coffee because it would "stunt my growth".

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8651 on: April 28, 2021, 03:17:03 PM »
I was out mowing our front lawn with a reel mower (human-powered) as I've been doing for five years now and our neighbor stopped by to ask if I wanted to borrow his gas mower. Said he'd never seen a reel mower before. Our lawn is very tiny (like 1000-1500 sq ft) so there's really no reason to burn gasoline and make a ton of noise while mowing it. Plus its good exercise!

I don't remember if the reel mower was present when the neighbors found us gardening on a Saturday last spring and stopped to ask if we were still working. I'm pretty sure it was part concern over the pandemic and part "can't they afford a gardener?"

I've lived here longer than them them and done my own gardening the whole time.

New-to-us reel mower (Fiskars) is as effortless as I've ever used. I need to decide whether to keep the corded electric one, which is slightly better at taller weeds and much better at vacuuming up autumn leaves that are a little too small to rake easily. It's a little noisier, cord is a PITA (only mowed one once, oops), and it takes up a mess of space.

Longer term plan is to replace the lawn with better stuff.
« Last Edit: April 28, 2021, 05:19:17 PM by crocheted_stache »

Plina

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8652 on: April 28, 2021, 03:35:26 PM »
When I go to Starbucks in Europe, I’m generally buying a coffee in order to use their bathroom.  I know it is there and I know I can use it with purchase, no guessing required.

DW refers to international Starbucks as the "real American Embassy" No matter where we've been been the Starbucks seem to be run like they are in America. They will have clearly identified public bathrooms, they will have WiFi, and they will have the AC cranked if it's summer... The inside of the Starbucks was the coldest place in Crete! I could feel it rolling out through the wide up doors...  The only exception I've ever seen was the "Starbucks" in Lukla Nepal that was pretty clearly not affiliated with the chain. It was a very nice place with good coffee though.

This is so true and kinda sad.  I have an uncle who is constantly in a cruise and collects a Starbucks mug from every country (city? Not sure)

What is the thing with the freezing AC? I can understand some AC if it warm but why does it have to be so cold? I have left some coffee shops that were so cold I could not imagine sitting down without getting frostbites. The cleaners in some hotels also likes to turn down the ac to freezing, which makes the temperature go like a Yo-Yo when I turn it back to more comfortable temperature.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8653 on: April 28, 2021, 03:58:47 PM »
When I go to Starbucks in Europe, I’m generally buying a coffee in order to use their bathroom.  I know it is there and I know I can use it with purchase, no guessing required.

DW refers to international Starbucks as the "real American Embassy" No matter where we've been been the Starbucks seem to be run like they are in America. They will have clearly identified public bathrooms, they will have WiFi, and they will have the AC cranked if it's summer... The inside of the Starbucks was the coldest place in Crete! I could feel it rolling out through the wide up doors...  The only exception I've ever seen was the "Starbucks" in Lukla Nepal that was pretty clearly not affiliated with the chain. It was a very nice place with good coffee though.

This is so true and kinda sad.  I have an uncle who is constantly in a cruise and collects a Starbucks mug from every country (city? Not sure)

What is the thing with the freezing AC? I can understand some AC if it warm but why does it have to be so cold? I have left some coffee shops that were so cold I could not imagine sitting down without getting frostbites. The cleaners in some hotels also likes to turn down the ac to freezing, which makes the temperature go like a Yo-Yo when I turn it back to more comfortable temperature.

While at university I had the same three flat mates for a couple years. One from Phoenix, one from Texas, and one from Turkey. You'd think the battle over the thermostat would be between the Alaskan on one side and those three on the other, but it wasn't. It was between my Phoenician and Turkish friends. The former want the AC at 65 all the time and the later the heat 75. They were both very unhappy at 70... It was actually pretty comical to me coming from a place with wild temperature swings between summer and winter and no AC anywhere. 

One thing I have noticed about myself, is that I am much less comfortable in warm temps when I am either overweight or eating lots of carbs. I'm also much less cold resistant without carbs in my diet. Maybe that is playing out on the national level...

fuzzy math

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8654 on: April 28, 2021, 05:13:13 PM »
Now I want a Vietnamese iced coffee, or one of their very orange-hued milk teas. Haven’t had one in a very long time. They’re so delicious! My thinking is always, “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.” No point getting mad that the local doesn’t know how to make a regular coffee, because what is defined as being “regular” depends on the culture you’re in. To them, they are making you a regular coffee — you’re the one who wants a weird coffee that may taste disgusting to them.

If you meant me, I didn’t get mad. It just took me a while to figure out what I needed to order to get good coffee and avoid all the sugar. Vietnam was actually, the country with the best coffee of those countries that I visited. Vietnam is  the second largest coffee producer in the world so they know how to make coffee. In US, outside of Hawaii, you have to add some doses of espresso to get the taste of coffee.

Where were you buying coffee in the US? if it was at an actual coffee shop (not a gas station, not someone serving you Folgers), our coffees are generally reasonably strong. The difference here is we brew what we call a drip coffee, and its meant to be 8 - 16 oz of pure black coffee. If you're going to a chain and ordering a latte its going to be quite weak in comparison. But in Europe a drip coffee is generally closest to being an Americano and they don't even like to make those more than 8 oz or so. Here in America a 16 oz Americano would have 2-3 shots of espresso in it. I'm thinking its in whatever you ordered, not knowing the differences in serving styles.  I had weaker coffee in Spain than I generally find in the US, they tend to serve coffee that's half coffee half milk if you ask for it to be creamed. Vietnamese coffee is ground and brewed like Turkish coffee, its quite strong.
« Last Edit: April 28, 2021, 05:15:50 PM by fuzzy math »

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8655 on: April 29, 2021, 12:01:10 AM »
Sometimes there’s logic to low AC and sometimes not. 

You already touched on maids turning down the AC.  They are physically working hard so they get hot.  When your body temp is elevated, you cool off faster with a lower room temperature.  The same can be said of restaurants and coffee shops: slaving over a stove or steamer does make you hotter.  If the cooks have any control over the thermostat then they will be more comfortable with a lower set point.  Waiters also are moving  around a lot so they also like it cooler.

Likewise when it’s really hot/humid out it feels really refreshing to step into a cold store.  They want as many people to walk into their store as possible, some even going so far as to leave their front doors open so people can feel and be enticed by the ridiculous AC. 

But it’s only refreshing until your body temp returns to normal.  Then you feel cold (every woman I know wears a jacket/sweater to the movie theater even when outside temps are blazing)

That’s the rationale that has some basis in reason, even if it’s faulty or wasteful

Then you have the people who think a lower set point  will cool the room faster, which is generally untrue without a multistage system of some kind.... and even a good multistage system doesn’t need to be “tricked”

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk


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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8656 on: April 29, 2021, 03:01:31 AM »
If someone at my house asks for cream and sugar they are probably getting milk.  Honestly most people aren't going to notice the difference and I’m not buying a pint of half and half or cream so some rando can splash a bit in their coffee. 

If you want to be ready for any occasion, though, I highly recommend the shelf stable whipping cream from Trader Joe’s.  It works for coffee or if you need an impromptu whipped cream (although it’s better chilled first). 

But yeah, ask them if milk is ok.  Find out what kind of people they are pretty quickly
I am a tap water person. I don't even really know how to make coffee. Also I don't drink alcohol, because my brain is the only thing in my body that works above average. I am also not interested in sports, cars, Hollywood movies or celebrities.

I am also that kind of person very used to getting strange looks. ;)


Quote
Starbucks customers seem to be young women who don't actually like the taste of coffee but want to be seen carrying "cool" coffee.
Yes, you are totally correct. Concept and marketing wise Starbucks is not about coffee, it is about being able to show that you can afford having something slightly different that is extra expensive. Status symbol. That is also the secondary use of writing your name on a cup (besides making you feel special, I am told).

Quote
The only exception I've ever seen was the "Starbucks" in Lukla Nepal that was pretty clearly not affiliated with the chain. It was a very nice place with good coffee though.

Yes, definitely not affiliated LOL!

Quote
The cleaners in some hotels also likes to turn down the ac to freezing
They probably base it on their temp feeling, and if you clean you are working hard - 16 to 18C is the right temp for that. In my company the office ladies (who walk around at least) always make fun of the sauna of the programmers (who only move their fingers).

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8657 on: April 29, 2021, 04:33:25 AM »


Quote
Starbucks customers seem to be young women who don't actually like the taste of coffee but want to be seen carrying "cool" coffee.

As a younger woman, the only reason I go to Starbucks is because people keep giving me gift cards to there. Because it’s easier than a gift card to a local shop that is actually good.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2021, 04:41:31 AM by Weisass »

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8658 on: April 29, 2021, 05:31:55 AM »
I never thought of Starbucks as a status symbol! Maybe that's more the case outside of the US? To me, it's a fast food chain that happens to serve a lot of coffee. When I do go there, which is infrequent, I give them a fake name rather than try to teach them to pronounce and spell my real name. So the name on the cup means nothing because it's not even me. Here, coffee at mom and pop coffee shops costs about as much as Starbucks, so there's no "benefit" (status-wise) to one over the other.

Sibley

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8659 on: April 29, 2021, 08:44:25 AM »
Sometimes there’s logic to low AC and sometimes not. 

You already touched on maids turning down the AC.  They are physically working hard so they get hot.  When your body temp is elevated, you cool off faster with a lower room temperature.  The same can be said of restaurants and coffee shops: slaving over a stove or steamer does make you hotter.  If the cooks have any control over the thermostat then they will be more comfortable with a lower set point.  Waiters also are moving  around a lot so they also like it cooler.

Likewise when it’s really hot/humid out it feels really refreshing to step into a cold store.  They want as many people to walk into their store as possible, some even going so far as to leave their front doors open so people can feel and be enticed by the ridiculous AC. 

But it’s only refreshing until your body temp returns to normal.  Then you feel cold (every woman I know wears a jacket/sweater to the movie theater even when outside temps are blazing)

That’s the rationale that has some basis in reason, even if it’s faulty or wasteful

Then you have the people who think a lower set point  will cool the room faster, which is generally untrue without a multistage system of some kind.... and even a good multistage system doesn’t need to be “tricked”

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk

All this, plus the office specific issues....

Culturally in the US at least, men are wearing long pants and often long sleeves in the office, and those materials are traditionally wool and heavy cotton. Since men also tend to run warmer (generalization), that means they're hot. Women on the other hand wear skirts/dresses/short sleeves, with much lighter weight materials, and also tend to run cooler (generalization), that means they're cold. Basically, our cultural clothing expectations is completely screwed up from biology. Men should be wearing shorts and short sleeve shirts all summer, even in the office. That wouldn't completely fix the temperature discrepancy, but it would help.

Also, the "standard" indoor temperature in office buildings was basically designed for men. Who are wearing wayyyy too much clothing in the summer. So A/C is set to 72, which keeps the men comfortable but turns the women into icicles.

Women who are going through menopause will often have hot flashes and thus switch to running warmer, regardless of what they did previously. Same with pregnant women. So they like the 72 temps. However, while I'm sympathetic (and will be one of them in the future), this is an individual issue and the preferences of the individual should not inconvenience the group. Adjust clothing materials and styles, get a fan, etc.

And yes, we have a ridiculous number of overweight and obese people in the US. The extra fat they're carrying is literally acting as insulation so they're hot.

The A/C should be set to 75, and tell everyone who's uncomfortable to adjust. And for those who think 75 is way too warm, it's a nice balancing point between the 72 you want and the 78 I want. So I'll still be cold. I just won't be an icicle. We're both unhappy, that means it's a good compromise.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8660 on: April 29, 2021, 09:02:30 AM »
According to a former barista friend when I once complained about this very thing, the reason for the cold temperature is two fold -- 1) cold people drink hot coffee faster and therefore order more. 2) Cold people are less prone to camp out and work and if they do, see point 1. Number 2 has something to do with Starbucks tried to limit the use of their shops as work stations a decade or so ago by imposing minimum orders in certain locations, and the blow back was severe, so they use thermostat warfare instead.

I'll post a mustachian problem to stay on subject - I'm not a fan of wasting money on coffee-flavored sugar, plus pandemic, so this last year I found a perfect little covered picnic table to take my laptop to work outside. There are several tables available, but this one is perfect. I can see the ocean and there is a wifi hotspot from my internet provider coming off of a nearby hotel. I went all winter on sunny-ish days, and would bundle up and bring a thermos of coffee to work.

Now that the weather is getting nice, others have discovered my perfect spot and they bring their expensive Starbucks sugar drinks to sit and stare at their phones. It's (almost) annoying enough to drive one to working in a coffee shop, but patience usually ends with me getting my table back.

Plina

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8661 on: April 29, 2021, 11:37:00 AM »
Sometimes there’s logic to low AC and sometimes not. 

You already touched on maids turning down the AC.  They are physically working hard so they get hot.  When your body temp is elevated, you cool off faster with a lower room temperature.  The same can be said of restaurants and coffee shops: slaving over a stove or steamer does make you hotter.  If the cooks have any control over the thermostat then they will be more comfortable with a lower set point.  Waiters also are moving  around a lot so they also like it cooler.

Likewise when it’s really hot/humid out it feels really refreshing to step into a cold store.  They want as many people to walk into their store as possible, some even going so far as to leave their front doors open so people can feel and be enticed by the ridiculous AC. 

But it’s only refreshing until your body temp returns to normal.  Then you feel cold (every woman I know wears a jacket/sweater to the movie theater even when outside temps are blazing)

That’s the rationale that has some basis in reason, even if it’s faulty or wasteful

Then you have the people who think a lower set point  will cool the room faster, which is generally untrue without a multistage system of some kind.... and even a good multistage system doesn’t need to be “tricked”

Thanks for listening to my Ted talk

All this, plus the office specific issues....

Culturally in the US at least, men are wearing long pants and often long sleeves in the office, and those materials are traditionally wool and heavy cotton. Since men also tend to run warmer (generalization), that means they're hot. Women on the other hand wear skirts/dresses/short sleeves, with much lighter weight materials, and also tend to run cooler (generalization), that means they're cold.

The A/C should be set to 75, and tell everyone who's uncomfortable to adjust. And for those who think 75 is way too warm, it's a nice balancing point between the 72 you want and the 78 I want. So I'll still be cold. I just won't be an icicle. We're both unhappy, that means it's a good compromise.

I totally agree with you about the temperature. I grew up with 78 indoors due to Wood furnace and basically everything under is in my world freezing. I actually wear more clothing to the office then at home were I normally have higher temperatures in summer due to lack of ac. Because I grew up in north I always get crap about being frozen.

Regarding maids turning down the ac, I can understand doing that while working but why can’t they turn it up again when they are done. And basically, in most cases they are not there long enough to benefit from the freezing temperatures.

@fuzzy math Probably Starbucks or some other coffee shop, at least not gas stations. It was a while ago. US seems to have weaker coffee then northern Europe at least if you buy whatever the regular coffee is called, with the exception of Hawaii. Or at least that have been my experience from the East coast and Florida.

dragoncar

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8662 on: April 29, 2021, 12:35:26 PM »
Also I don't drink alcohol, because my brain is the only thing in my body that works above average.

Ah, I’m like wicked smaht so the only way I can relate to average humans is to drink heavily

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8663 on: April 29, 2021, 01:51:53 PM »
Also I don't drink alcohol, because my brain is the only thing in my body that works above average.

Ah, I’m like wicked smaht so the only way I can relate to average humans is to drink heavily

I don't think I'm particularly smart but I read a lot, I practice what I'm interested in or paid to do so I get better at it, and I actively think about ways to do those tasks faster, cheaper, more easily and at a better quality level, and I do my best to cross-pollinate my thinking with knowledge on a wide variety of subjects.

It's not hard to seem way smarter than lots of folks when they aren't even trying or are doing the bare minimum.

ixtap

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8664 on: April 29, 2021, 06:25:54 PM »
Also I don't drink alcohol, because my brain is the only thing in my body that works above average.

Ah, I’m like wicked smaht so the only way I can relate to average humans is to drink heavily

I don't think I'm particularly smart but I read a lot, I practice what I'm interested in or paid to do so I get better at it, and I actively think about ways to do those tasks faster, cheaper, more easily and at a better quality level, and I do my best to cross-pollinate my thinking with knowledge on a wide variety of subjects.

It's not hard to seem way smarter than lots of folks when they aren't even trying or are doing the bare minimum.

I was just chatting with someone and pointed out that while people are often impressed with my knowledge on a particular subject, it boils down to three factors:
-google/library
-practice
-I actually have sooooo much left to learn, I just keep at it

TomTX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8665 on: April 30, 2021, 07:20:50 AM »
My MPP: we are 9 years into a 15 year mortgage, and our interest rate is only 3%, so we are paying very little in interest. Nevertheless, when we got a letter from our mortgage company, offering 2.5%, I figured it was worth a look. I mean, we owe about $100k, and $500/year savings is $500/year, right?

Sadly, the closing costs would have been around $4000, so we passed.   Silly us, being all responsible and paying off debt... :P
Look into a HEL or HELOC, and cast a wider net. They are typically $0 closing costs.

I'm saving $600/year for the next 29 years for making a ~20 minute phone call to my CU (could have been 5 minutes, but I wanted to discuss options) - and then 5 minutes with Docusign. They dropped my rates to match current ones. No cost.

Less than half an hour of effort, dropped my required stash size by $15,000 per the 4% rule.

Imma

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8666 on: May 01, 2021, 01:33:49 AM »
I never thought of Starbucks as a status symbol! Maybe that's more the case outside of the US? To me, it's a fast food chain that happens to serve a lot of coffee. When I do go there, which is infrequent, I give them a fake name rather than try to teach them to pronounce and spell my real name. So the name on the cup means nothing because it's not even me. Here, coffee at mom and pop coffee shops costs about as much as Starbucks, so there's no "benefit" (status-wise) to one over the other.

Yes, could well be because we're in the EU. We love American things. Starbucks is the only chain of it's kind in my country, it's American, American celebrities are pictured going there, and people who don't actually like coffee can still order everything on the menu. In and around Starbucks you can always see girls trying to get the best picture of the name on their cup to post on Insta. People collect those Starbucks mugs from all their holiday destinations. Taco Bell opened it's first restaurant in my country a couple of years back and everyone was instantly obsessed with Taco Bell, even though there's an actual authentic Mexican takeaway restaurant around the corner of Taco Bell in the same price category, and all their food is fresh and delicious. 

We have lots of coffee shops but they look more like the "mom and pop" stores, even the ones that are actually chains, like Coffee Fellows, they try to make their shop look cosy and most of them cater to coffee lovers. They leave most of the sugary drinks to Starbucks and it's copycats.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8667 on: May 01, 2021, 09:31:15 PM »
Sometimes there’s logic to low AC and sometimes not. 

You already touched on maids turning down the AC.  They are physically working hard so they get hot.  When your body temp is elevated, you cool off faster with a lower room temperature.  The same can be said of restaurants and coffee shops: slaving over a stove or steamer does make you hotter.  If the cooks have any control over the thermostat then they will be more comfortable with a lower set point. 

Culturally in the US at least, men are wearing long pants and often long sleeves in the office, and those materials are traditionally wool and heavy cotton.

Regarding maids turning down the ac, I can understand doing that while working but why can’t they turn it up again when they are done. And basically, in most cases they are not there long enough to benefit from the freezing temperatures.

Chiming in on the AC in hotels question, because I did a brief stint doing hospitality and I had some family who worked in the hotel business for a while. So, it may vary by location or by the chain, but often the housekeeper is turning on the AC as the last thing before they leave the room, just before turning off the lights. It's part of resetting the room to the hotel standard and has nothing to do with their own working comfort. I actually wouldn't be surprised if there was a policy against them turning it on too soon for their own use in some places since that would cost a fraction more in energy use. So we are back to the hotel standard being based on the working salaryman's attire being a wool suit with jacket and tie.

My mustachian problem - I have optimized my coupon and rebate game to a point where it brought up a dilemma this week. I bought new glasses online, and by habit applied the coupon code, and then saved more by going through Rakuten for a small rebate. Then, I immediately logged the insurance claim for the purchase which is fully covered. The dilemma is that I realized that my receipt shows the price minus coupon discount, but the rebate doesn't clear until I reach a minimum redemption level sometimes months later (I'm not shopping much). Am I defrauding the insurance company by claiming the price I paid? Since I will technically get another $6 back at some future undetermined time?
I could have avoided the current overthinking if I just controlled my impulse to get the maximum savings when I bought it (it's not even my money!).

I did something similar at work a few weeks ago, searching to find our corporate rental car discount for too long before realizing that the full rental car cost is covered in the client contract so saving a few dollars will not benefit the company at all, and the full price has already been budgeted for by the client. Frugal habits die hard.

TomTX

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8668 on: May 02, 2021, 07:35:17 AM »
Am I defrauding the insurance company by claiming the price I paid? Since I will technically get another $6 back at some future undetermined time?

Insurance company never seems to mind that I use a cash back credit card.

halftimer

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8669 on: May 03, 2021, 12:12:17 PM »
Am I defrauding the insurance company by claiming the price I paid? Since I will technically get another $6 back at some future undetermined time?

Insurance company never seems to mind that I use a cash back credit card.

Good comparison. It would be difficult to separate that out, it's more like a bonus from the credit card (or coupon app) and not part of the initial transaction.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8670 on: May 30, 2021, 08:09:34 PM »
Here's my MPP...I'm retiring July 1 (that's not the problem!). I just booked a trip that I'm super excited about.  I don't have anyone to tell because everyone I know who would be excited about this particular trip (it's a trip around a hobby/passion) is still working and couldn't go on a trip like this either because of the cost or the time off necessary.

So, I tell my MMM friends.  I've booked an event that I've wanted to do for years but I couldn't because of the cost and time off (I could have but it would have required sacrifices I wasn't willing to make).  I am SUPER DUPER excited. And I know you are all happy for me and don't begrudge me the money or the time.  Thanks MMM friends!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8671 on: May 30, 2021, 08:35:51 PM »
Here's my MPP...I'm retiring July 1 (that's not the problem!). I just booked a trip that I'm super excited about.  I don't have anyone to tell because everyone I know who would be excited about this particular trip (it's a trip around a hobby/passion) is still working and couldn't go on a trip like this either because of the cost or the time off necessary.

So, I tell my MMM friends.  I've booked an event that I've wanted to do for years but I couldn't because of the cost and time off (I could have but it would have required sacrifices I wasn't willing to make).  I am SUPER DUPER excited. And I know you are all happy for me and don't begrudge me the money or the time.  Thanks MMM friends!

I love the experience of Freedom in the morning.  It feels like... Victory!

I'm glad you're getting to do your really cool hobby trip!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8672 on: May 31, 2021, 05:34:42 AM »
Here's my MPP...I'm retiring July 1 (that's not the problem!). I just booked a trip that I'm super excited about.  I don't have anyone to tell because everyone I know who would be excited about this particular trip (it's a trip around a hobby/passion) is still working and couldn't go on a trip like this either because of the cost or the time off necessary.

So, I tell my MMM friends.  I've booked an event that I've wanted to do for years but I couldn't because of the cost and time off (I could have but it would have required sacrifices I wasn't willing to make).  I am SUPER DUPER excited. And I know you are all happy for me and don't begrudge me the money or the time.  Thanks MMM friends!

We understand!

I went to a workshop related to my hobby that I could not have gone to if I had not been in the location (New Zealand, I live in Canada, so very long distance), and I would not have been in the location if I hadn't had the free time retirement brings.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8673 on: May 31, 2021, 05:44:39 AM »
Here's my MPP...I'm retiring July 1 (that's not the problem!). I just booked a trip that I'm super excited about.  I don't have anyone to tell because everyone I know who would be excited about this particular trip (it's a trip around a hobby/passion) is still working and couldn't go on a trip like this either because of the cost or the time off necessary.

So, I tell my MMM friends.  I've booked an event that I've wanted to do for years but I couldn't because of the cost and time off (I could have but it would have required sacrifices I wasn't willing to make).  I am SUPER DUPER excited. And I know you are all happy for me and don't begrudge me the money or the time.  Thanks MMM friends!

Congratulations!! I know what you mean. There's a 4-week course in the UK that I would LOVE to do. I hope to be able to take at least a month off in 2023 to make that dream come true. I already know people will think I'm crazy but who cares!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8674 on: May 31, 2021, 10:31:58 AM »
Visited my parents over the weekend. They still hand me money.

MIL wants to help her youngest child buy a house, which is lovely. Trouble is, she thinks it's only fair to give her other children the same amount. We've been mustachian on dual HCOLA professional salaries since before this blog existed, and stand to fatFIRE pretty much any time. (OMY because reasons.)

We're trying to figure out how to persuade her that we'd rather "our" share go directly to her grandkids.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8675 on: May 31, 2021, 11:29:21 AM »
Visited my parents over the weekend. They still hand me money.

MIL wants to help her youngest child buy a house, which is lovely. Trouble is, she thinks it's only fair to give her other children the same amount. We've been mustachian on dual HCOLA professional salaries since before this blog existed, and stand to fatFIRE pretty much any time. (OMY because reasons.)

We're trying to figure out how to persuade her that we'd rather "our" share go directly to her grandkids.

Don't bother.  Say "Thank you so much!" and then set up accounts for the grandkids and put the money in them.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8676 on: May 31, 2021, 12:15:29 PM »
So apparently the stealth side of our stealth wealth is very successful. My neighbour has twice informed me of the city's food pantry giveaways in a local park.


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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8677 on: May 31, 2021, 01:59:09 PM »
Visited my parents over the weekend. They still hand me money.

MIL wants to help her youngest child buy a house, which is lovely. Trouble is, she thinks it's only fair to give her other children the same amount. We've been mustachian on dual HCOLA professional salaries since before this blog existed, and stand to fatFIRE pretty much any time. (OMY because reasons.)

We're trying to figure out how to persuade her that we'd rather "our" share go directly to her grandkids.

Don't bother.  Say "Thank you so much!" and then set up accounts for the grandkids and put the money in them.

Except we're in the US and MIL, other siblings, grandkids aren't. We'll probably go with "It would mess up our taxes," which is at least partially true. We could cope, of course, but it would be much easier if the money skipped a generation, at least our branch of it, and it would give MIL something to do.

She retired to an empty nest at around the usual retirement age and has been climbing walls without N children around to cook for and worry about. Then the pandemic resulted in seeing everyone even less.

These are still MPPs you're helping to "solve."

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8678 on: May 31, 2021, 02:28:06 PM »
Visited my parents over the weekend. They still hand me money.

MIL wants to help her youngest child buy a house, which is lovely. Trouble is, she thinks it's only fair to give her other children the same amount. We've been mustachian on dual HCOLA professional salaries since before this blog existed, and stand to fatFIRE pretty much any time. (OMY because reasons.)

We're trying to figure out how to persuade her that we'd rather "our" share go directly to her grandkids.

Don't bother.  Say "Thank you so much!" and then set up accounts for the grandkids and put the money in them.

Except we're in the US and MIL, other siblings, grandkids aren't. We'll probably go with "It would mess up our taxes," which is at least partially true. We could cope, of course, but it would be much easier if the money skipped a generation, at least our branch of it, and it would give MIL something to do.

She retired to an empty nest at around the usual retirement age and has been climbing walls without N children around to cook for and worry about. Then the pandemic resulted in seeing everyone even less.

These are still MPPs you're helping to "solve."

There's an annual gift limit where you don't have to pay taxes.   In the US for 2021, it's $15,000 per donor per recipient per year.

So, let's say there's you and your spouse and 2 kids.   MIL can give each of the 4 of you $15,000 tax free this year.   That's $60,000.    You and our spouse can then turn around and give $15,000 to your kids tax free.   Now the two kids have $30,000 each and no taxes are due.

But if MIL has a spouse, that spouse can ALSO give all four of you $15,000 each.    Now you and your spouse have $15,000 each tax free, which you can give to your kids in 2022 tax free.   And the kids have $45,000 each already.

If we're talking about bigger numbers just spread it out over a few years.   If you simply can't wait that long for the money (???) then deal with the taxes over the taxable gift amount.   But don't expect sympathy from anyone who isn't rich when you're being given so much money that you simply HAVE to pay taxes on some of it.  :)

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8679 on: May 31, 2021, 03:08:14 PM »
There's an annual gift limit where you don't have to pay taxes.   In the US for 2021, it's $15,000 per donor per recipient per year.

...

If we're talking about bigger numbers just spread it out over a few years.   If you simply can't wait that long for the money (???) then deal with the taxes over the taxable gift amount.   But don't expect sympathy from anyone who isn't rich when you're being given so much money that you simply HAVE to pay taxes on some of it.  :)
The annual gift exclusion of $15,000 is the limit below which you don't even have to report the gift to the IRS.

If you exceed the $15,000 limit, then you do have to report it to the IRS, but in all probability you still won't owe any tax on it because the lifetime exemption is $11.58MM (per person, so effectively double for couples).  You won't owe any gift tax until the yearly amounts that exceed $15,000 eventually sum up to more than $11.58MM.

ETA, an example:
Quote
For example, if you give your brother $50,000 this year, you’ll use up your $15,000 annual exclusion. The bad news is that you’ll need to file a gift tax return, but the good news is that you probably won’t pay a gift tax. Why? Because the extra $35,000 ($50,000 - $15,000) simply counts against your $11.58 million lifetime exclusion. Next year, if you give your brother another $50,000, the same thing happens: you use up your $15,000 annual exclusion and whittle away another $35,000 of your lifetime exclusion.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8680 on: May 31, 2021, 03:13:57 PM »
So apparently the stealth side of our stealth wealth is very successful. My neighbour has twice informed me of the city's food pantry giveaways in a local park.

This is awesome.  I hate/love it when people are like "oh, you know there are programs to help pay for things like that" when I'm saying I don't want to spend money on something.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8681 on: May 31, 2021, 03:34:24 PM »
There's an annual gift limit where you don't have to pay taxes.   In the US for 2021, it's $15,000 per donor per recipient per year.

...

If we're talking about bigger numbers just spread it out over a few years.   If you simply can't wait that long for the money (???) then deal with the taxes over the taxable gift amount.   But don't expect sympathy from anyone who isn't rich when you're being given so much money that you simply HAVE to pay taxes on some of it.  :)
The annual gift exclusion of $15,000 is the limit below which you don't even have to report the gift to the IRS.

If you exceed the $15,000 limit, then you do have to report it to the IRS, but in all probability you still won't owe any tax on it because the lifetime exemption is $11.58MM (per person, so effectively double for couples).  You won't owe any gift tax until the yearly amounts that exceed $15,000 eventually sum up to more than $11.58MM.

ETA, an example:
Quote
For example, if you give your brother $50,000 this year, you’ll use up your $15,000 annual exclusion. The bad news is that you’ll need to file a gift tax return, but the good news is that you probably won’t pay a gift tax. Why? Because the extra $35,000 ($50,000 - $15,000) simply counts against your $11.58 million lifetime exclusion. Next year, if you give your brother another $50,000, the same thing happens: you use up your $15,000 annual exclusion and whittle away another $35,000 of your lifetime exclusion.

We know. The part about them not being in the US makes it slightly more complicated, in that we'd have to decide between leaving the money there (where it still needs to be reported) or bringing it here (no need and not such a great exchange rate). 

It's more an expedient and plausible way to redirect some money we really don't need. DH was thinking of gifts for the nieces and nephews even before this, and we'd both feel pretty weird accepting it.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8682 on: May 31, 2021, 06:50:09 PM »
There's an annual gift limit where you don't have to pay taxes.   In the US for 2021, it's $15,000 per donor per recipient per year.

...

If we're talking about bigger numbers just spread it out over a few years.   If you simply can't wait that long for the money (???) then deal with the taxes over the taxable gift amount.   But don't expect sympathy from anyone who isn't rich when you're being given so much money that you simply HAVE to pay taxes on some of it.  :)
The annual gift exclusion of $15,000 is the limit below which you don't even have to report the gift to the IRS.

If you exceed the $15,000 limit, then you do have to report it to the IRS, but in all probability you still won't owe any tax on it because the lifetime exemption is $11.58MM (per person, so effectively double for couples).  You won't owe any gift tax until the yearly amounts that exceed $15,000 eventually sum up to more than $11.58MM.

ETA, an example:
Quote
For example, if you give your brother $50,000 this year, you’ll use up your $15,000 annual exclusion. The bad news is that you’ll need to file a gift tax return, but the good news is that you probably won’t pay a gift tax. Why? Because the extra $35,000 ($50,000 - $15,000) simply counts against your $11.58 million lifetime exclusion. Next year, if you give your brother another $50,000, the same thing happens: you use up your $15,000 annual exclusion and whittle away another $35,000 of your lifetime exclusion.

We know. The part about them not being in the US makes it slightly more complicated, in that we'd have to decide between leaving the money there (where it still needs to be reported) or bringing it here (no need and not such a great exchange rate). 

It's more an expedient and plausible way to redirect some money we really don't need. DH was thinking of gifts for the nieces and nephews even before this, and we'd both feel pretty weird accepting it.

Why not just see if she will pay for your family to come visit her and have a nice holiday instead? She could rent a flat for a couple of weeks somewhere and you all could meet her there and have a nice time. My dad did that a few years ago, and it was great! We just paid for our own plane tickets and he rented an air bnb in Paris that was big enough for everyone.  So much better than inheriting money later on.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8683 on: June 01, 2021, 05:58:13 AM »
Why not just see if she will pay for your family to come visit her and have a nice holiday instead? She could rent a flat for a couple of weeks somewhere and you all could meet her there and have a nice time. My dad did that a few years ago, and it was great! We just paid for our own plane tickets and he rented an air bnb in Paris that was big enough for everyone.  So much better than inheriting money later on.
Great iidea!

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8684 on: June 01, 2021, 06:19:57 AM »
So apparently the stealth side of our stealth wealth is very successful. My neighbour has twice informed me of the city's food pantry giveaways in a local park.

This is awesome.  I hate/love it when people are like "oh, you know there are programs to help pay for things like that" when I'm saying I don't want to spend money on something.

I once told my kid that we didn't have money to go out to eat and he ran to my mother-in-law and told her we didn't have money for food.  I learned to phrase it differently after that.  I've also had people do a double take when they see my car because they assume that I'd be driving a hoopty (I actually drive an 8 year-old Wrangler).  Maybe they assume that all my money goes to car payments?

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8685 on: June 03, 2021, 06:47:25 AM »
DH gets a stipend from his company to purchase lunch from his workplace’s cafeteria. However, he’s been packing lunch, which is healthier and cheaper. His MPP is that he is leaving his job in two weeks and he still has over $100 in his account. He loses that money if he doesn’t spend it. So we’ve decided to stock up on overpriced Gatorade and yogurt, which are about the only two things from the cafeteria that we might actually eat.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8686 on: June 03, 2021, 09:44:14 AM »
I'd be driving a hoopty (I actually drive an 8 year-old Wrangler). 
I love the Urban Dictionary!

Quote
Basically, a piece of shit car. Usually cheap and/or broken down. Can be any size, make or model, but must (or should) be embarrassing to drive for some reason, such as when you bump the stereo all the plastic "effects" you have hot-glued to the exterior rattle, instantly betraying the cheapness of your bling.
A hoopty can be anything from a '78 Cadillac Brogham with the panels missing in front of the brake lights (but replaced on only one side with duct tape), to a fine purple two-year old Hyundai Elantra with three spinner hubcaps and a vanity plate that reads BBY GRL.
It's interesting how many slang words for "bad" cars there are in the US. Makes you think they must be very common.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8687 on: June 14, 2021, 11:58:28 AM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

My parent used to give me cash, which is great. But since their own parent died, my parent regrets that they don't have physical items that they got for their birthday from their parent. My parent has lots of stuff from their own parent that they use every day, so there are plenty of sentimental items, but nothing that they got specifically for their birthday.

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the budget is too low. The budget is €50. Last year I asked for plain gold earrings that I wear every day now (I'm allergic to nickel so I can't wear cheap jewelry). But I've got earrings now. It can't be a book or clothing or craft supplies because it needs to be something special. But I don't need special stuff!! I mean, technically, I would love a new sewing machine but the one I really want is €3000. Everything that I want is either too cheap or too expensive. Earrings don't take up a lot of space so I guess I could ask for new earrings every year, but I don't need them. And only the most plain ones are within the budget.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8688 on: June 14, 2021, 12:41:37 PM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

My parent used to give me cash, which is great. But since their own parent died, my parent regrets that they don't have physical items that they got for their birthday from their parent. My parent has lots of stuff from their own parent that they use every day, so there are plenty of sentimental items, but nothing that they got specifically for their birthday.

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the budget is too low. The budget is €50. Last year I asked for plain gold earrings that I wear every day now (I'm allergic to nickel so I can't wear cheap jewelry). But I've got earrings now. It can't be a book or clothing or craft supplies because it needs to be something special. But I don't need special stuff!! I mean, technically, I would love a new sewing machine but the one I really want is €3000. Everything that I want is either too cheap or too expensive. Earrings don't take up a lot of space so I guess I could ask for new earrings every year, but I don't need them. And only the most plain ones are within the budget.

This may not help for this time, but we keep a list of cheapish things we want so that we can tell my MIL what to get us for Christmas. Winch handles for the boat, 8" frying pans because her son goes through them every few years (doesn't sound like this is allowable for you), a moleskin notebook when we run low on notebooks...

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8689 on: June 14, 2021, 12:54:09 PM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

My parent used to give me cash, which is great. But since their own parent died, my parent regrets that they don't have physical items that they got for their birthday from their parent. My parent has lots of stuff from their own parent that they use every day, so there are plenty of sentimental items, but nothing that they got specifically for their birthday.

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the budget is too low. The budget is €50. Last year I asked for plain gold earrings that I wear every day now (I'm allergic to nickel so I can't wear cheap jewelry). But I've got earrings now. It can't be a book or clothing or craft supplies because it needs to be something special. But I don't need special stuff!! I mean, technically, I would love a new sewing machine but the one I really want is €3000. Everything that I want is either too cheap or too expensive. Earrings don't take up a lot of space so I guess I could ask for new earrings every year, but I don't need them. And only the most plain ones are within the budget.

Maybe, you have to have I appreciate the thought but it doesn’t work for me-talk. Maybe it could be tickets somewhere and you can take a picture as a memory. My mother also wants to buy gifts even though I would prefer a no gifts policy as I lean more towards being a minimalist. Our compromise is that I make suggestions and often even order the stuff to her place. I got a vase for my birthday because I don’t have any. So for christmas I get stuff, that I would have normally bought such as clothes, books or some stuff.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8690 on: June 14, 2021, 01:31:01 PM »
Here's mine,

In the market for a new "used car"...

1/Low kilometers - check
2/Reliable brand - check
3/Good gas mileage -check
4/Reasonable price - check
5/Checks to see if it needs premium gas - #@$#@$@#$

Just can't get past #5.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8691 on: June 14, 2021, 02:01:14 PM »
@Imma That is annoying. A book? That you can read and either shelve or quietly pass on? If you can't think of a specific one yourself, ask them to buy their favourite book on X. My favourite gifts to receive are fancy shower gel or fancy foods, but they're not exactly heirlooms :) I push back against people buying toys for my kids (and ask for books and clothes only) but with people who insist on buying me presents its not really worth it to have the argument so I just ask for something it'll be easy for me to deal with afterwards if there's nothing I specially want.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8692 on: June 14, 2021, 02:39:20 PM »
Here's mine,

In the market for a new "used car"...

1/Low kilometers - check
2/Reliable brand - check
3/Good gas mileage -check
4/Reasonable price - check
5/Checks to see if it needs premium gas - #@$#@$@#$

Just can't get past #5.
My last five cars have all required premium fuel. It hasn't been an issue though because we just don't drive much. Looks like in your area premium fuel is about 11% more expensive than regular. Is that really a deal breaker?

Or you could just sidestep the whole thing and get an EV.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8693 on: June 14, 2021, 04:22:47 PM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

My parent used to give me cash, which is great. But since their own parent died, my parent regrets that they don't have physical items that they got for their birthday from their parent. My parent has lots of stuff from their own parent that they use every day, so there are plenty of sentimental items, but nothing that they got specifically for their birthday.

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the budget is too low. The budget is €50. Last year I asked for plain gold earrings that I wear every day now (I'm allergic to nickel so I can't wear cheap jewelry). But I've got earrings now. It can't be a book or clothing or craft supplies because it needs to be something special. But I don't need special stuff!! I mean, technically, I would love a new sewing machine but the one I really want is €3000. Everything that I want is either too cheap or too expensive. Earrings don't take up a lot of space so I guess I could ask for new earrings every year, but I don't need them. And only the most plain ones are within the budget.

How about a gift in your honor to a charity that you support?

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8694 on: June 14, 2021, 05:02:24 PM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

I have found that requesting kitchen items works for me. Measuring cups, wooden spoons, a special attachment for a mixer, whatever. Even if you don't really need it, they seldom take up a lot of space and frequently fit in that price range.

Bonus points if it can be related to some shared activity with your parent. "I'd love a new set of measuring spoons... do you remember baking that cake when I was growing up...?"

But maybe it's me. My favorite gift that I have ever received was my grandpa's potato masher when he passed. It was important to my Mom that I get it because of my shared love of mashed potatoes with her father. And, I do think of the both of them whenever I use it.

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8695 on: June 14, 2021, 08:07:05 PM »

5/Checks to see if it needs premium gas - #@$#@$@#$

Just can't get past #5.

Some newer cars will adjust the engine timing if you use non-premium fuel. The performance will be lower, but I doubt that would bother you. You should check the details for the particular car.
https://www.edmunds.com/fuel-economy/to-save-money-on-gas-stop-buying-premium.html

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8696 on: June 14, 2021, 08:12:25 PM »

5/Checks to see if it needs premium gas - #@$#@$@#$

Just can't get past #5.

Some newer cars will adjust the engine timing if you use non-premium fuel. The performance will be lower, but I doubt that would bother you. You should check the details for the particular car.
https://www.edmunds.com/fuel-economy/to-save-money-on-gas-stop-buying-premium.html

"Running regular-grade fuel in a car that requires premium might sound like an easy way to shave a car's operating costs, but the short-term savings won't come close to offsetting the cost of repairs to a damaged engine." (the difference between premium-required and premium-recommended)

They also note that you may get better fuel economy using premium. So there might not even be any cost savings for going against the manufacturers recommendation.

PhilB

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8697 on: June 15, 2021, 12:02:14 AM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

I have found that requesting kitchen items works for me. Measuring cups, wooden spoons, a special attachment for a mixer, whatever. Even if you don't really need it, they seldom take up a lot of space and frequently fit in that price range.

Bonus points if it can be related to some shared activity with your parent. "I'd love a new set of measuring spoons... do you remember baking that cake when I was growing up...?"

But maybe it's me. My favorite gift that I have ever received was my grandpa's potato masher when he passed. It was important to my Mom that I get it because of my shared love of mashed potatoes with her father. And, I do think of the both of them whenever I use it.

Do you already have a set of good quality knives?  If not then that should keep your parent going for a while at one knife per birthday.

Abundant life

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8698 on: June 15, 2021, 04:52:04 AM »
I have a terrible MPP.

I have a parent. I have a birthday coming up. My parent wants to buy me a birthday gift. The budget is pretty low. I DON'T WANT ANYTHING.

My parent used to give me cash, which is great. But since their own parent died, my parent regrets that they don't have physical items that they got for their birthday from their parent. My parent has lots of stuff from their own parent that they use every day, so there are plenty of sentimental items, but nothing that they got specifically for their birthday.

I don't want to be ungrateful, but the budget is too low. The budget is €50. Last year I asked for plain gold earrings that I wear every day now (I'm allergic to nickel so I can't wear cheap jewelry). But I've got earrings now. It can't be a book or clothing or craft supplies because it needs to be something special. But I don't need special stuff!! I mean, technically, I would love a new sewing machine but the one I really want is €3000. Everything that I want is either too cheap or too expensive. Earrings don't take up a lot of space so I guess I could ask for new earrings every year, but I don't need them. And only the most plain ones are within the budget.
My parents always gave cash to us as adults in a birthday card. The cards were nothing special (from the cheap shop usually), but as they aged it deteriorated to cash in an envelope with 'Happy Birthday, love from Mum and Dad xxx' written on the front.

For some reason the last birthday they gave me a beautiful expensive card with lovely words of appreciation, it was probably accidental. I kept it. As it turned out it was the last birthday card I was to get as they passed away within 5 months of each other before my next birthday. It was like it was meant to be.

We are/were all pretty practical. The book 'The Five Love Languages' explains how each person has a love language. Mine is not gifts, not so much physical touch; more so: acts of service, words of affirmation and quality time. It's probably worth working out what your parent's is, or even talking with them about it. It would be nice to have something meaningful that you could cherish, but it doesn't have to be big.

I have a few household items that bring them to mind when I use them - it's nice to have these reminders, but no one else would want them in the end.

Imma

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Re: Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)
« Reply #8699 on: June 15, 2021, 05:17:20 AM »
Thanks everyone for the ideas!

@shelivesthedream @Plina the whole point is that she (it's my mother - of course) wants me to get something I will keep. Now she's lost her own mother she feels that I will value having those things when she's no longer here. But I don't think having something that I got from her specifically for my birthday will mean a lot to me. My late grandmother always gave me cash for my birthday, but I have a few of her things around the house and they still mean a lot to me even if she didn't get them for my birthday. She give me her Missal that she received as a Confirmation gift in the 1940s, her most treasured possession, and the handmade sewing box made for her by my grandfather when they were engaged. Those mean more to me than the book she got me for my birthday in the 90s.

She doesn't want to give me money because it will be "wasted" on groceries, so I suggested I would use it to make an extra mortage payment. My mother is pretty frugal so I thought that would do the trick. Nope. I have lots of books and craft supplies so those aren't really "special" enough. I guess she wants me to spend money on special things that will make me happy except I don't really need any special things. I don't think I'm not worth all those special things, I'm not afraid to spend money, I just wouldn't know what to spend it on. My life is pretty much complete. I'm also a big fan of fancy food. I would be totally happy with nothing but a box of Charbonnel & Walker truffles for my birthday.

I love cooking and baking so my set of kitchen equipment is pretty much complete. We unfortunately had a few family deaths in a row when I was in my teens and 20s and I was frugal then too so I took all the indestructable tools and knives. 

@slipslop @Abundant life  I have my grandmother's green enamel soup ladle. And both of my grandmother's teapots. Same happy memories :) I also kept a few nice cards with personal messages on them. I'm glad I have those even though they don't mean anything to anyone else.

I've so far come up with one thing. I have a nice set of china. I always eat from the good plates at the dining room table, 3 meals a day, and it's one of the few things in my house I've actually bought new with my own money. It wasn't cheap because I wanted a good quality set that will be available for the forseeable future (a bit cheaper than Wedgwood but that kind of classic). I have a set for 4 but since we have room at the table for 8, maybe I could expand to 8 and ask a few plates? The budget would be enough for 4 dinner plates. I suppose that's a very traditional mother-daughter gift. Post-Covid we'll have guests again and my friends' kids are getting too old for plastic plates. We could even go to the small independent kitchenware shop in the village where we used to live and buy the plates together.

I bake a lot so I could ask a nice Nordic Ware bundt pan, it would get used, but that would just be another thing to store. I already have a springform and a loaf pan for baking. I don't really need more than the two pairs of earrings I already have and I don't wear bracelets. I've thought of a few Kitchenaid attachements that I would use but they're over budget (which is also why I haven't bought them myself, Kitchenaid is just insanely expensive).

 

Wow, a phone plan for fifteen bucks!