Mustachian People Problems (just for fun)

[Cinder]

Ive gotten two $50 codes for GiftCertificates.com and I'm having trouble actually figuring out anything that I want/need.  I think my best options are either use them for 'the container store' and get some nice tubs for more bulk food storage, or Bed Bath and Beyond and get a Pressure Canner. 

All the 'fun' things I want (small electronic components for hacking around with my arduino/raspberry pi) all cost less to get though Taiwanese/Chinese based sites or aren't even available at any of the places where I can get gift certificates with my codes.  The closest thing I was thinking of was going to staples and getting an 8 port PoE(Power over Ethernet) switch for when I eventually do some of my own home automation based projects so I don't have to use an AC-> DC converter and run power manually every where I stick an arduino, but that's more then my $100 total.

Another option is to get gift cards to restaurants, but most of the things offered aren't in our area. 


Another mustachian problem is coming up with christmas lists for relatives... The best I've been able to do is list a few bike nice to haves (a stronger set of lights, reflective velcro straps to keep my pant legs from getting caught in the chain, etc...).  Last year I got a really nice collapsible basket to mount on back of my bike, it's on there next to the milk crate strapped to the cargo rack :)

[RetiredAt63]

Same here, that is why I maintain a non-resident membership for the Ottawa library, I can go online and reserve any item that is at any branch, and it will get sent to my branch of choice.  The drive in once every 7-10 days is well worth it, I would spend far more on books than I ever spend on the commute if I didn't have a good library.
As we move more to downloadable materials, I hope to depend less on real items, and cut down on the commute (or alternately move at some point to a small city).

Useless to say that the library was (and is) far too small for me.

[lizzie]

Took out too many books from the library -- everything I'd ordered from inter-library loan came in the same week.

LOL, that's a great one. Oh, the horror! Sometimes I try to strategically manage my place on the library wait list out of fear that this will happen!

[frugalnacho]

Having an xmas budget and having people in the family give disapproving looks when you decide to get your niece and nephew each a $20 gift card to Disney where they will be in a month instead of spending $150 on 2 soccer goals for them. SIL acts like they are the only people we have to shop for!

I've always found that disapproving looks are a great way to get poorly homemade cardsa big fuck you from me. :-)

[C. K.]

Realizing that since you don't watch TV or the latest movies you don't know a single face or name on the covers of impulse-buy magazines. [This might be an age thing.]

It's actually unsettling. I looked harder for at least a name that I knew, thinking perhaps someone had Botoxed herself out of recognition. Nope.

[Rezdent]

Realizing that since you don't watch TV or the latest movies you don't know a single face or name on the covers of impulse-buy magazines. [This might be an age thing.]

It's actually unsettling. I looked harder for at least a name that I knew, thinking perhaps someone had Botoxed herself out of recognition. Nope.

Sorry you find it unsettling.   I consider it an accomplishment worthy of sharing.   
=Badassity :)

[jordanread]

Realizing that since you don't watch TV or the latest movies you don't know a single face or name on the covers of impulse-buy magazines. [This might be an age thing.]

It's actually unsettling. I looked harder for at least a name that I knew, thinking perhaps someone had Botoxed herself out of recognition. Nope.

Sorry you find it unsettling.   I consider it an accomplishment worthy of sharing.   
=Badassity :)

+1

[Cookie78]

Just discovered this forum a week or two ago, but I've always been pretty frugal.
I've never paid for cable and I haven't owned a TV in many years. Long enough that my friends aren't surprised and no one mentions it when they visit.

But a few days ago a guy came to my door trying to sell me cable TV and internet. I said I was happy with my internet provider, but I don't want cable. I told him at this point I didn't have a TV, but I don't think he understood that I literally do not own a TV. He explained that I could get this great deal for cheap for the first 6 months, then cancel it. I said it is still more than what I'm paying for internet right now, and I'd have to go buy a TV and deal with the hassle of changing providers, all for something I'm really not interested in. He got a shocked look and said 'Oh, you mean you really don't have a TV?!' Then he started to tell me they also include subscriptions to TED Talks........ I was too stunned to ask if he was referring to the same TED talks that are available for free online.

[jordanread]

Just discovered this forum a week or two ago, but I've always been pretty frugal.
I've never paid for cable and I haven't owned a TV in many years. Long enough that my friends aren't surprised and no one mentions it when they visit.

But a few days ago a guy came to my door trying to sell me cable TV and internet. I said I was happy with my internet provider, but I don't want cable. I told him at this point I didn't have a TV, but I don't think he understood that I literally do not own a TV. He explained that I could get this great deal for cheap for the first 6 months, then cancel it. I said it is still more than what I'm paying for internet right now, and I'd have to go buy a TV and deal with the hassle of changing providers, all for something I'm really not interested in. He got a shocked look and said 'Oh, you mean you really don't have a TV?!' Then he started to tell me they also include subscriptions to TED Talks........ I was too stunned to ask if he was referring to the same TED talks that are available for free online.

He kind of missed the point of TED didn't he?

[ruthiegirl]

Christmas shopping is really hard this year. 

My kids made their Christmas lists.  The younger boys are pretty normal and want toys and legos.  Easy enough.  But the older two?

13 year old daughter -- wool socks
11 year old son -- trip to see Grandma and Grandpa

End list. 

Shit, now I need to get creative. 

[halftimer]

Took out too many books from the library -- everything I'd ordered from inter-library loan came in the same week.

LOL, that's a great one. Oh, the horror! Sometimes I try to strategically manage my place on the library wait list out of fear that this will happen!

Yes! We have totally done that. We need to manage those library holds closely so all the good stuff doesn't come in at once.

[BooksAreNerdy]

DH was sad that he had lost a pair of shorts at the gym.

Fast forward two weeks, found them in the dryer.

[Vorpal]

I've found that I can't save up for anything I really want anymore. Whenever I get a decent amount of money in my savings account, it just starts burning a hole in my pocket and I spend it on...

...index funds.

:/

[shelivesthedream]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

[Vorpal]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

[Mesmoiselle]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

[johnny847]

I've found that I can't save up for anything I really want anymore. Whenever I get a decent amount of money in my savings account, it just starts burning a hole in my pocket and I spend it on...

...index funds.

:/

When somebody asks me if I'm going to get myself anything for Christmas, I respond VTSAX or VTIAX. Then they look at me blankly =)

[luna]

I've found that I can't save up for anything I really want anymore. Whenever I get a decent amount of money in my savings account, it just starts burning a hole in my pocket and I spend it on...

...index funds.

:/

When somebody asks me if I'm going to get myself anything for Christmas, I respond VTSAX or VTIAX. Then they look at me blankly =)

Love this. It makes me feel like I'm way too stealthy in my savings. Stealing this for my next conversation.

[Cherry Lane]

When somebody asks me if I'm going to get myself anything for Christmas, I respond VTSAX or VTIAX. Then they look at me blankly =)

Love this. It makes me feel like I'm way too stealthy in my savings. Stealing this for my next conversation.

\
Or a maybe more interesting way of saying it:  I'm going to buy bits of 3784 companies.

[2ndTimer]

The Hub got a bonus a few months ago.  It didn't occur to him to mention it until I commented that the checking account where it was deposited was a little funny.

[Apples]

Took out too many books from the library -- everything I'd ordered from inter-library loan came in the same week.

I did the same thing!  I had an inter-library loan show up, and I was in the queue for several books (like 3rd, 4th, 6th, and 7th) but due to different amounts of books (ex. I was 4th in the queue for something that the library had 3 copies of, and 3rd for only 1 copy) I got all the books within 2 weeks!  But I need to read them b/c I can't renew them with other ppl waiting for them and don't want to wait up to 2 months to get them again!  I try explaining the issue to friends, and they laugh b/c I go to the library. Hah.

[Cinder]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

Same reason I wanted a pair of 'RollerBlades' when I was a kid, not inline skates.... and also the disturbing trend in some states where every type of soda is called 'Coke'

[Threshkin]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

Same reason I wanted a pair of 'RollerBlades' when I was a kid, not inline skates.... and also the disturbing trend in some states where every type of soda is called 'Coke'

Aspirin
Styrofoam

[johnny847]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

Same reason I wanted a pair of 'RollerBlades' when I was a kid, not inline skates.... and also the disturbing trend in some states where every type of soda is called 'Coke'

Until you wrote that I didn't even realize Roller blades was not the generic name!

[dragoncar]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

Same reason I wanted a pair of 'RollerBlades' when I was a kid, not inline skates.... and also the disturbing trend in some states where every type of soda is called 'Coke'

Until you wrote that I didn't even realize Roller blades was not the generic name!

But when you want a six pack of Cokes, that's what you ask for.  Not a "six pack of Coca-Cola brand carbonated beverage cans".  Which means "LEGOs" is fine, as long as you aren't referring to Duplo Brand stacking blocks.

[Threshkin]

But when you want a six pack of Cokes, that's what you ask for.  Not a "six pack of Coca-Cola brand carbonated beverage cans".  Which means "LEGOs" is fine, as long as you aren't referring to Duplo Brand stacking blocks.

Duplo are made by LEGO.  Mega Blocks are one of the copies.

[dragoncar]

But when you want a six pack of Cokes, that's what you ask for.  Not a "six pack of Coca-Cola brand carbonated beverage cans".  Which means "LEGOs" is fine, as long as you aren't referring to Duplo Brand stacking blocks.

Duplo are made by LEGO.  Mega Blocks are one of the copies.

Sprite is made by Coca-Cola, but I don't call it a Coke.  Pepsi is one of the copies.

[theadvicist]

Thanks for the suggestions on the amazon spend £50 to get £10 off. But this is still a serious mustachian problem - none of the grocery type or household products I buy are dispatched by Amazon, so they don't qualify! I've tried paper products, coconut oil, olive oil, cereals, tins. I don't buy lotion because I make my own (and shea butter, essential oils etc don't qualify). None of the makeup I wear qualifies. No giftcards allowed. I've already donated to a toy drive for underprivileged children this year (I could always do more, I know, but I don't want to spend money just for the sake of it when I have a budget for charitable giving and I have used it up).

I don't buy books, I go to the library. I've done all my Christmas and gift shopping for birthdays up to July. Wahhhhhh it's so hard when people try to give you free stuff!

[kyanamerinas]

But when you want a six pack of Cokes, that's what you ask for.  Not a "six pack of Coca-Cola brand carbonated beverage cans".  Which means "LEGOs" is fine, as long as you aren't referring to Duplo Brand stacking blocks.

i think it's a uk/us thing, i'd never ask for a 'six pack of cokes' but a 'six pack of coke', likewise, a box of lego not legos.
Duplo are made by LEGO.  Mega Blocks are one of the copies.

Sprite is made by Coca-Cola, but I don't call it a Coke.  Pepsi is one of the copies.

[lizzie]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

[stripey]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

+1

[dragoncar]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

+1

I just use the same combination as my luggage: 1234

[LennStar]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

Fortunately - and coincidantally - I got (nearly) the same PIN as my mobile phone. So I had just wrote down my mobiles PIN (prepaid dumb, worst that can happen bc of this is someone uses the prepaid 15€ for calling) and in my head I know how to make the PIN out of it.
After 4 years I am able to remember it without help though, even if I use it just once a month.

[shelivesthedream]

Toys and legos 

Sorry to go OT but this is something I have wondered about for a while - why do you call it "legos" (plural, not capitalised) in America rather than Lego? And if it's all legos, is each brick "a lego"?

Mostly out of ignorance and/or laziness... but it's very widespread and I'm often guilty of it myself even though I understand the proper usage. Since LEGO is a brand name, it should be used as an adjective when describing its products. People should be saying"LEGO bricks" and "LEGO sets." (Also, note how "LEGO" is entirely capitalized... that's the correct way to write the name. "Lego" is incorrect.)

Same reason most of us call a tissue a Kleenex. And I definitely call steel wool "Brillo pads" even when I don't even have that brand in the house anymore.

Same reason I wanted a pair of 'RollerBlades' when I was a kid, not inline skates.... and also the disturbing trend in some states where every type of soda is called 'Coke'

Until you wrote that I didn't even realize Roller blades was not the generic name!

But when you want a six pack of Cokes, that's what you ask for.  Not a "six pack of Coca-Cola brand carbonated beverage cans".  Which means "LEGOs" is fine, as long as you aren't referring to Duplo Brand stacking blocks.

Yeah, it's not actually a brand name vs generic question at all - it's a singular/plural. Lego is, of course, a brand name, but legos is a corruption not a generic alternative. It's a different way of viewing the product epistemologically - some plural legos vs some Lego(-branded product). I guess the generic name would be 'stacking bricks'?

[loveChloe]

I enjoy buying cars...But I have bought to my mum, dad, bro...to granny... 2 for  me... and now I really "need" to buy one more, but do not know for whom))

[chouchouu]

We don't have a car and my sister has an annoying habit of giving me bags of stuff when she sees me on an outing. Um, I'm carting around two toddlers on the bus and train, please don't give me a giant bag of stuff to take as well!

Not being able to contribute to the conversation when people talk about upgrading cars when they have kids, because they "need the space". I still haven't figured out what they're talking about. I manage to take my almost three year old twins to the beach, museums, grocery store etc in their stroller or the bike and manage to carry everything needed. The only adjustment I've made is buying smaller buckets for them to play with at the beach/park.

[Goldielocks]

We don't have a car and my sister has an annoying habit of giving me bags of stuff when she sees me on an outing. Um, I'm carting around two toddlers on the bus and train, please don't give me a giant bag of stuff to take as well!

Not being able to contribute to the conversation when people talk about upgrading cars when they have kids, because they "need the space". I still haven't figured out what they're talking about. I manage to take my almost three year old twins to the beach, museums, grocery store etc in their stroller or the bike and manage to carry everything needed. The only adjustment I've made is buying smaller buckets for them to play with at the beach/park.

You are right!  They 'need' a bigger car the car seats (pl.), and the stroller(s), plus the diaper bags and toilet paper and diapers.

Without a car, you don't need car seats,  kids are in the stroller, and the diapers fit underneath the unfolded/ in use stroller.

Hmm. Imagine how many times we buy bigger to fit the stuff we need only because we own that too small item..  Furniture comes to mind... Pianos, woodshop tools and dining room tables all generate a 'need' for that extra room.  Suitcases..  What else?  Does it only apply to thing that hold stuff?

I knew this, but your post converted it into an obvious aha! Far more impactfully for me.  Thx

[Hedge_87]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

+1

I just use the same combination as my luggage: 1234

Lol remind me to change my luggage  combination

[Gerard]

Someone may have mentioned this problem already, but this just happened to me---I went to use the cash machine and realized that I couldn't remember my PIN.

+1

I just use the same combination as my luggage: 1234

Lol remind me to change my luggage  combination

Your new combination will be hard to remember, so you should probably write it on your luggage. :-)

Also, Lego is a blend, not an acronym, so I'm not sure it deserves ALL CAPS. (It's from the Danish "leg godt", "play well".)

[Zoot]

As far as a know many credit unions are all connected and have reciprocal agreements to waive access fees for ATM use, essentially giving you free ATM access everywhere.  I don't use ATMs though, so you would need to check into that.  You can deposit checks with an app on your phone negating the need to ever step foot on bank/CU property to ever cash a check.  Depositing cash is another story and will require you do go into a physical location though.

I've just read through this entire thread (and enjoyed it very much!), and am excited that I have something to share on the topic above after a fortuitous learning experience earlier this very week.

I'm a member of an out-of-town credit union (which I signed up for due to a high-ish savings account APR a few years ago), and recently discovered that it's possible to make cash deposits at an ATM of a different local credit union through the ATM-sharing that frugalnacho described in the post above. 

The only reason DH and I were keeping an account at a local bank was for the ability to make cash deposits (as we could already deposit checks to the CU via our home office scanner)--this discovery that we can make cash deposits directly to the CU means we can now close the bank account and streamline the banking (and gain interest on the amount we had to keep in the bank account in order to avoid account fees!).

So if you do have a CU account, check to see if you might have similar ATM-sharing which would allow cash deposits--you may be pleasantly surprised!

[sheepstache]

You have a hard time enjoying stories without analyzing the household finances realistically. You're watching La Boheme, and you have a hard time getting swept up in the emotion because you're like 'If they're starving, why are they going to restaurants?'

[Daisy]

You're tired of the holiday driving and eating around. You even went out to eat once in the past few days and spent $30 on one burger and one beer and can't figure out how such a simple thing could cost so much. Oh well, a fun night out with friends.

So after a few days of driving around you are super excited to stay local close to home and your out of town friend calls and says they want to meet up with you, and would you like to drive about 20 miles away to go to dinner. Argh....the perfectly concocted plan to stay local is now in jeopardy.

So you suggest to your friend to come over, hang out on your nice back porch to have some wine and cheese. You even have some hummus and fruit to offer. Your friend can bring what she wants as well.

The friend replies back (and not kidding here...she has always been picky) and says she's cut dairy and can't eat hummus so she prefers to eat out at an expensive restaurant about 10 miles away. Whaaaaat? How can she turn down wine and good food under the stars on a beautiful Florida winter night at a friend's house? And by no means was the menu set in stone. I've got plenty of other things to offer.

So frustrating...but others are going too so I am not going to be the bad sport and will go anyways. I am so full from overeating the last few days that I will probably just order soup and take my revenge that way.

[Cressida]

You're watching La Boheme, and you have a hard time getting swept up in the emotion because you're like 'If they're starving, why are they going to restaurants?'

Haha! I have TOTALLY thought this. And poor Colline, he sells his coat even though Mimì is pretty much already dead. Don't get me wrong, I get the pathos, but we nonetheless have to admit that the cash was wasted. :P
Mustachian people problems, indeed.

[former player]

Unlikely to be any sort of kitchen or running water in a nineteenth century Parisian garret.  Pretty impossible to cook under those conditions, particularly when everything has to be from scratch because nothing is processed.

True about the coat, but there is a certain comfort in knowing one did what one could while someone was still alive - death is the one situation in which there are no do-overs and regrets hurt the most.

[Daisy]

Update on my dinner out: the soup trick work perfectly and was barely noticed. I mentioned that I had had some wine and food with my neighbors on the porch before dinner. Stealth frugality. They spent $50 and I spent $10.

But the new twist...two friends are turning 50 in the next year or two. They both want to plan "destination birthdays". I was like...what? Their birthdays are 4 months apart.

One lives in Europe and had originally thought to have everyone fly over there, but she somewhat came to her senses and thought she should fly to the US (but not where we live) to celebrate.

Then the other who lives in the US wants to go to Europe for her destination birthday. She looked right at me and said "you'd better start saving your money". Now this friend works with me and knows of my unhappiness at work and my plans to retire early (she thinks 50). I just told her the other day that I wasn't sure I was going to make it to 50 at work with all of the changes going on. It's partly that, and partly that I just want to FIRE so I am laying the groundwork. And she is super spendy and will want to stay in expensive places and then use her birthday as the reason to "live it up".

I think it's highly presumptuous of them to think that people are going to go on two probably expensive trips within 4 months. I asked them how many people they thought would go. They think it will be a small group, maybe just us three possibly, but I have not committed to anything. I'd like to get together to celebrate though, but I doubt I will be going on two vacations where I can't be frugal, especially if I am out of a job by then.

When did destination birthdays become a thing? Destination weddings, bachelorettes, etc were annoying enough.

Another friend of mine talked her friend that was turning 40 recently against a weekend away on a Caribbean island because she told her nobody was going to spend the money. Just the flights alone would have been about $700.

[sheepstache]

Unlikely to be any sort of kitchen or running water in a nineteenth century Parisian garret.  Pretty impossible to cook under those conditions, particularly when everything has to be from scratch because nothing is processed.

True about the coat, but there is a certain comfort in knowing one did what one could while someone was still alive - death is the one situation in which there are no do-overs and regrets hurt the most.

Sure but you can buy, like, bread and cheese for cheaper than the restaurant. And they have a stove so they could bring in water and cook over that--and they do have a frugal at-home dinner in the fourth act. But I agree we can't go completely judging them by modern standards, like, to them it's not a waste to buy medicine that we know won't work (sure, that cordial will absolutely cure tuberculosis!), or spending money on wine when that was a lot safer than water.

I think in some ways I enjoy it more because of these types of observations. Everyone knows Mimi's been sick for like months but only when it's too late do they make sacrifices.  Ah, human nature.

ETA: Oh, also, I'm not arguing that the economic system of the time wasn't fucked. These folks were obviously not going to become FIRE by cutting expenses a bit.

[jba302]

When did destination birthdays become a thing? Destination weddings, bachelorettes, etc were annoying enough.

Pretty sure I would be unfriending people that demanded I fly to another country for their damn birthday. I fought against enough destination bachelor parties (which required travel for the weddings anyway).

[Daisy]

When did destination birthdays become a thing? Destination weddings, bachelorettes, etc were annoying enough.

Pretty sure I would be unfriending people that demanded I fly to another country for their damn birthday. I fought against enough destination bachelor parties (which required travel for the weddings anyway).

Well, they've been friends of mine for a long time. We had travelled a bit together when we were in our 20s. So there is a precedent for the travel.

One of them is so picky and controlling and we figured that out during the trips abroad. So I tried to travel less with her since then, even though I like her a lot as a person. She just gets really picky about where to eat and ends up dominating the plans. Luckily she moved to Europe and I get to see her in shorter spurts which works well for our friendship. She was the one that actually said it would be ridiculous to have everyone fly to Europe for her birthday. She was going to pick a country she doesn't live in though, so it was still a destination requiring hotels and stuff. But she travels a lot for work and has free miles and stuff. But she's sticking with the US for her "party".

I'm almost tempted to say...sure, if you want to pay for my flight out there I'll go. The thing is if it is for their birthday, they are going to want to pick "the cutest place to stay", "the big dinners out", etc.

I guess if I thought I had endless employment in my future I'd be more OK with it just strictly thinking of the financial impact and absorb the costs (and not the presumptuosness of an expensive trip). But I've thrown so many hints of my desire to do something different with my life, that this is the last high paying job I'll have, that I won't make it to 50 employed...and still got this request.

I want to keep them as friends, but if they are true friends they should understand. I don't dump people that easily and still think we can be good friends even if I don't go on their birthday extravaganzas. I don't think many people are going to sign up for the trip either because they have children and can't go, or just find it too expensive. So I guess they are relying on me, the single friend that has the funds to go. BTW, they are also single.

I'd rather save my travel funds for future slow travel which is more frugal. I'd spend the same amount as they will on their trip, but actually get to spend a few months in Europe. I don't think they'd ever sign up to do something like that.

[Cherry Lane]

But the new twist...two friends are turning 50 in the next year or two. They both want to plan "destination birthdays". I was like...what? Their birthdays are 4 months apart.

These 2 are friends with each other, right?  So why not have one combined birthday trip?  I did that this year with 5 friends of mine who were all having "milestone" birthdays.  It wasn't a frugal trip, to be sure, but at least there was only one.  We scheduled the trip when everyone could go, which actually wasn't over any one person's birthday, but covered the celebration for all.  It was our first "girls trip" since everyone started having kids a dozen years ago.

[Daisy]

But the new twist...two friends are turning 50 in the next year or two. They both want to plan "destination birthdays". I was like...what? Their birthdays are 4 months apart.

These 2 are friends with each other, right?  So why not have one combined birthday trip?  I did that this year with 5 friends of mine who were all having "milestone" birthdays.  It wasn't a frugal trip, to be sure, but at least there was only one.  We scheduled the trip when everyone could go, which actually wasn't over any one person's birthday, but covered the celebration for all.  It was our first "girls trip" since everyone started having kids a dozen years ago.

Yes, you'd think so, right? The thing is the one that lives in the US and wants to go to Europe wants her dream Paris trip, and the other one living in Europe has now come to her senses and wants a US trip (not where we all live though). The one living in Europe tends to dominate the plans so I think the US based friend doesn't want her trampling on her plans yet again. At least that's how I see it.

Oh well, I've gotten into way too much detail here. My main gripe was this "destination birthday" concept. I think it's just an excuse to travel together again which we haven't done in a while. That's all fine and dandy, but by labelling it their 50-year-old birthday trip they are going to dominate the plans and make it costly, because that's the kind of people they are. Not out of malice or anything, they just like to splurge.

We'll see see if my FIRE begins in 2015 or 2016. Perhaps I can turn it into a more slow travel type thing once on the trip, or not go at all. It wasn't what I had planned as my first step in FIRE so it's frustrating. But it's also nice to have friends that want to hang out with you so money isn't always the top concern.

I could also mention that MY desire for my 50 year old birthday is to be FIRE and their desires for 50 may be incompatible with that. But I don't turn 50 for another 4 years. There is probably a reason why these spendy single high-earning women with no children still can't FIRE at 50...hee hee...

Thanks for listening to my rant. ;-)