Money and happiness

[2sk22]

While browsing through the forum archives, I came across this interesting post by @Villanelle : https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/ask-a-mustachian/what-about-when-money-'does'-by-happiness/

Inspired by this post, I have been digging into the literature (both academic and popular) on the linkage between wealth and happiness. Here is my reading list so far. I was a bit intrigued that there have been many good articles in The Atlantic on this topic. I will be updating this list as I find more material.

Academic papers

The Amount and Source of Millionaires' Wealth (Moderately) Predicts Their Happiness
https://www.hbs.edu/faculty/Pages/item.aspx?num=53540

Income and well-being: an empirical analysis of the comparison income effect
http://darp.lse.ac.uk/papersDB/Ferrer-i-Carbonell_%28JPubE05%29.pdf

NEIGHBORS AS NEGATIVES: RELATIVE EARNINGS AND WELL-BEING
https://users.nber.org/~luttmer/relative.pdf

How your bank balance buys happiness: The importance of "cash on hand" to life satisfaction.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/27064287

Who feels it? Income inequality, relative deprivation and financial satisfaction in US states
Research in Social Stratification and Mobility, Volume 60, April 2019, Pages 1-15
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.rssm.2019.01.004

WILL MONEY INCREASE SUBJECTIVE WELL-BEING?
A Literature Review and Guide to Needed Research
Ed Diener and Robert Biswas-Diener
Social Indicators Research 57: 119-169, 2002

Money and happiness: Income and subjective well-being across Nations
Culture and Subjective Well-Being.
Ed Diener and Eunkook M. Suh, editors.
The MIT Press, 2000

Life cycle happiness and its sources Intersections of psychology, economics, and demography
Richard A. Easterlin
Journal of Economic Psychology 27 (2006) 463–48

The anatomy of subjective well-being
B.M.S. van Praag, P. Frijters, A. Ferrer-i-Carbonell
Journal of Economic Behavior & Organization Vol. 51 (2003) 29–49

Financial satisfaction and perceived income through a demographic lens: Do different race/gender pairs reap different returns to income?
David E. DePianto
Social Science Research 40 (2011) 773–783

The Atlantic

Secret Fears of the Super-Rich
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/04/secret-fears-of-the-super-rich/308419/

Workism Is Making Americans Miserable
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/02/religion-workism-making-americans-miserable/583441/

The Reason Many Ultrarich People Aren’t Satisfied With Their Wealth
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2018/12/rich-people-happy-money/577231/

Who Actually Feels Satisfied About Money?
https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2019/07/who-feels-rich/594439/

What Makes Us Happy?
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/06/what-makes-us-happy/307439/

Does Money Buy Happiness?
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/01/does-money-buy-happiness/308430/

The 10 Things Economics Can Tell Us About Happiness
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/05/the-10-things-economics-can-tell-us-about-happiness/257947/

Other sources

Why Don’t Rich People Just Stop Working?
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/17/style/rich-people-things.html

The Original Theory: Authentic Happiness
https://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/learn/wellbeing

How many Americans with $1 million feel wealthy? Fewer than you may think
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2019/07/17/what-wealthy-its-not-necessarily-becoming-millionaire/1744408001/

In San Francisco, Tech Money Doesn’t Buy Happiness
https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-silicon-valley/in-san-francisco-tech-money-doesnt-buy-happiness

Why Are Rich People So Mean?
https://www.wired.com/story/why-are-rich-people-so-mean/

[Bucksandreds]

Money buys freedom and options. Picking the right options for yourself that you get because of the money creates happiness.

[hadabeardonce]

I'll have to read through a lot of those articles, but have you reached a conclusion yourself?

This book was super interesting on the subject of the affects of inequality:
https://www.worldcat.org/title/broken-ladder-how-inequality-affects-the-way-we-think-live-and-die/oclc/956480018

"Personal Finance for Dummies" by Eric Tyson has a section on 10 things more important than money:
Family, friends, health, kids, your neighbors, appreciating what you have, your reputation, education, having fun, solving social problems.

"Your time is valuable. Your happiness and economic security depend on your marriage, your family, your success at work and in your relationships. Investments in those areas are almost certain to pay off."
- "The Index Card" by Helaine Olen and Harold Pollack

"Satisfaction isn't so much getting what you want as wanting what you have. There are two ways to be rich: one is to have great wealth, the other is to have few wants."
- "The Pursuit of Happiness" by David Myers

---

Money provides some peace of mind, like a safety net, but I've never seen security as solely responsible for long-term happiness or even contentment.

[2sk22]

I'll have to read through a lot of those articles, but have you reached a conclusion yourself?
...
Money provides some peace of mind, like a safety net, but I've never seen security as solely responsible for long-term happiness or even contentment.

Thanks for these suggestions. I will look into them.

As for my conclusions, these articles confirm my previous view that wealth does not buy happiness. In fact, great wealth seems to result in paranoia and isolation. Leaving large inheritances to children is even more destructive for their well being.

The anxiety I wrestle with is whether I have set aside enough to account for unforeseen  problems in the future. In other words, have I been sufficiently prudent. Reading these articles is now making feel a little bit more comfortable. There is a great quote from one of the articles in The Atlantic that answered a "what-if" question I had in my mind :-)

One respondent, the heir to an enormous fortune, says that what matters most to him is his Christianity, and that his greatest aspiration is “to love the Lord, my family, and my friends.” He also reports that he wouldn’t feel financially secure until he had $1 billion in the bank.

[Abe Froman]

PTF

[ender]

Money may be correlated with happiness but it's definitely not a causation of happiness.

[Maenad]

I find this a fascinating, complex topic. It's interesting how many of the wealthy are aware of their privileges, and the Catch-22 they find themselves in - the common belief that having a lot of money means you "have it made", and if you're unhappy, something is wrong with you. There are common human stresses that seem to affect everyone once the basics of food and shelter are met - the philosophical fears of being "enough", being "a good person", and the wealthy some added issues around wealth and trusting others.

One vignette from one of the Atlantic articles hit me strongly. A wealthy person mentioned that working can be difficult, because if your coworkers know you're wealthy, they accuse you of taking a job from someone who needs it. There's an analogy in my own life - when I told my dad that I was working towards early retirement, he said that was good, because if I was FI I could quit and let someone else move up into my position. He wasn't being judgmental, but the underlying belief is similar.

I admit I have my own resentments toward the wealthy, but these articles make me realize that those resentments are misdirected. I resent people who are unaware of the bubble in which they live and - most importantly - defend the bubble and refuse to look outside it. That's a human trait that is common across all economic strata, and my resentment comes when people use their bubble to be harsh and nasty to others. I'm still trying to identify the line between "being critical of poor behavior and expecting better of people" and "being nasty and judgmental to people when I don't understand their situation".

I think I just exhausted my capacity for introspection today. :-)

[thesis]

I'm amazed at how worries usually don't go away, they just change. For some, it's surviving until the next paycheck; for others, it's having $100k for each child's college education. Insanity. One more year syndrome is real, and then you also have people who can't sleep without a few million because what if x, or y, or z.

I have a lot of respect for the people on these boards who have truly learned how to chill out and enjoy their early retirement.

Good articles

[big_owl]

I can't really think of one negative that wealth has brought us.  Almost everything we do in life is improved in some way by wealth.  It isn't a cure-all but my experience has been nothing like the research.

[2sk22]

Just added a whole bunch of interesting academic papers to the list. I will be summarizing these papers in a little bit. No URLs for them unfortunately since these papers are in academic journals and need to be associated with an academic institution to access them.

[John Galt incarnate!]

Money buys freedom and options.

Indeed.

Choice is the concomitant of liberty.

More $ = more choices.

[pecunia]

There is the old cliche, "The Journey is the Reward."  I'm thinking folks that have always wallowed in the big bucks do not have the same appreciation as someone who had little.  I have seen some examples of this in watching people in my own life.  And,.....heck I feel it in my own life.  Once in a while you'll hear a story about a good person who "remembers where he came from."

When you read the posts given in this forum, most who have retired have gained some degree of happiness.  Without the money, they would not have gained this happiness.  The money has purchased freedom.  The freedom has given them happiness.

[2sk22]

Add a link to this article: https://www.wired.com/story/why-are-rich-people-so-mean/

...Their net worth was about $3.5 million. Assuming a reasonable return of 5 percent, Steger and his wife were positioned to cash out, invest their capital, and glide through the rest of their lives on a passive income of around $175,000 per year after glorious year. Instead, Rivlin wrote, “Most mornings, [Steger] can be found at his desk by 7. He typically works 12 hours a day and logs an extra 10 hours over the weekend.” ...

[flyingaway]

I know money has diminishing effect on happiness as it grows, but I think I don't mind to have $1 billion as my disposal.

[DadJokes]

Add a link to this article: https://www.wired.com/story/why-are-rich-people-so-mean/

...Their net worth was about $3.5 million. Assuming a reasonable return of 5 percent, Steger and his wife were positioned to cash out, invest their capital, and glide through the rest of their lives on a passive income of around $175,000 per year after glorious year. Instead, Rivlin wrote, “Most mornings, [Steger] can be found at his desk by 7. He typically works 12 hours a day and logs an extra 10 hours over the weekend.” ...

The results of the research quoted in that article are counter to research displayed in The Millionaire Next Door.

Maybe how someone became rich is a factor, but I don't think most wealthy people are dishonest enough to steal candy from children. It's difficult to be a successful businessperson when you're dishonest, because it discourages others from wanting to do business with you.

[SwordGuy]

Add a link to this article: https://www.wired.com/story/why-are-rich-people-so-mean/

...Their net worth was about $3.5 million. Assuming a reasonable return of 5 percent, Steger and his wife were positioned to cash out, invest their capital, and glide through the rest of their lives on a passive income of around $175,000 per year after glorious year. Instead, Rivlin wrote, “Most mornings, [Steger] can be found at his desk by 7. He typically works 12 hours a day and logs an extra 10 hours over the weekend.” ...

The results of the research quoted in that article are counter to research displayed in The Millionaire Next Door.

Maybe how someone became rich is a factor, but I don't think most wealthy people are dishonest enough to steal candy from children. It's difficult to be a successful businessperson when you're dishonest, because it discourages others from wanting to do business with you.

I think it depends upon the business.  For example, damn few people know anything about how their car works or their HVAC system works.   So it's easier for someone to charge to fix things that aren't really broken than, say, someone who mows your yard convincing you to let them mow your yard twice a week all year long.

Setting those businesses where consumer ignorance is high and the likelihood of getting caught is low, I think most will work to provide an honest service or product and treat people correctly, because that's in their best interest long term.

[undercover]

Money buys freedom and options.

Indeed.

Choice is the concomitant of liberty.

More $ = more choices.

More choices does not necessarily mean more happiness though. There's a book called "Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz. It makes some compelling arguments. In general, people are more happier with their decisions when there are only a few choices to make versus always wondering what the other choices could have been like when there are many to choose from. I guess that's pretty difficult to avoid in today's society regardless though because people have thousands or millions more choices than in the past on what to consume or do regardless of income/wealth anyway.

-------------------------------

I'm not sure any of what we've developed over the past hundred years has actually made us happier. Life has gotten easier - but as we all know, easier doesn't necessarily mean better. We live longer and we're healthier overall, but it's difficult to assert for sure whether we're happier. I don't think we're less happy, I just think humans are very adaptable regardless of their situation and we're overall pretty indifferent to all the excesses of the modern world.

I do not at all buy into the "income at a certain level" or "a certain amount of wealth" leads to people being happier. Like everything in life, there is an excitement period and then it quickly wears off and we always return to a "normal" regardless of the level the "new normal" puts us at socially/financially/etc. It's because of this that we will never truly be satisfied as a species, even if we somehow think on an individual level (FIRE) we can put our desire to constantly improve on hold.

I also think happiness is more linked to your DNA than anything else. You're either generally a pretty happy person or you aren't. Medicine and therapy can help of course should you need that sort of thing, but I think your baseline levels of happiness are engrained from the beginning.

And finally, I don't think happiness is the end-all be-all emotion people tend to think that it is. There are plenty of other worthwhile emotions that are underrated. I like being sad sometimes just as much as I like being happy.

[Brother Esau]

Money buys freedom and options.

Indeed.

Choice is the concomitant of liberty.

More $ = more choices.

More choices does not necessarily mean more happiness though. There's a book called "Paradox of Choice" by Barry Schwartz. It makes some compelling arguments. In general, people are more happier with their decisions when there are only a few choices to make versus always wondering what the other choices could have been like when there are many to choose from. I guess that's pretty difficult to avoid in today's society regardless though because people have thousands or millions more choices than in the past on what to consume or do regardless of income/wealth anyway.

-------------------------------

I'm not sure any of what we've developed over the past hundred years has actually made us happier. Life has gotten easier - but as we all know, easier doesn't necessarily mean better. We live longer and we're healthier overall, but it's difficult to assert for sure whether we're happier. I don't think we're less happy, I just think humans are very adaptable regardless of their situation and we're overall pretty indifferent to all the excesses of the modern world.

I do not at all buy into the "income at a certain level" or "a certain amount of wealth" leads to people being happier. Like everything in life, there is an excitement period and then it quickly wears off and we always return to a "normal" regardless of the level the "new normal" puts us at socially/financially/etc. It's because of this that we will never truly be satisfied as a species, even if we somehow think on an individual level (FIRE) we can put our desire to constantly improve on hold.

I also think happiness is more linked to your DNA than anything else. You're either generally a pretty happy person or you aren't. Medicine and therapy can help of course should you need that sort of thing, but I think your baseline levels of happiness are engrained from the beginning.

And finally, I don't think happiness is the end-all be-all emotion people tend to think that it is. There are plenty of other worthwhile emotions that are underrated. I like being sad sometimes just as much as I like being happy.

Agreed! To me it's not about striving to be "happy" but more about being "content" with your lot in life be it happy, sad or any other emotion.

[HBFIRE]

My theory is that the pillars of happiness once basic needs are met are Time, Health, and Relationships.  Money is a powerful tool that can be used to improve the quality of each.  Mainly, it frees up more time which is one of the pillars.

[Chris Pascale]

Wow, thanks for the excellent reading this.

Money may be inert, but I'm happier in my 5 bedroom home than when the six of us were in a 3 bedroom rental.

My 2nd daughter is going to live abroad next year. It ain't free, and she's happy as she looks forward to it.

Tutoring led to good grades...........

It mostly all costs money, and quality of life improves with it.

[2sk22]

Just came across this excellent podcast about the science of happiness: https://www.happinesslab.fm

And in particular, episode 2: https://www.happinesslab.fm/episodes/the-unhappy-millionaire

[SAR]

I suspect the explanation is fairly simple.

Humans are hierarchical apes. The further up the hierarchy you are, the greater your potential reproductive fitness. That's still true today. More money gets you better housing, food, and health.

Given that status is a relative thing, evolution has not factored in a base rate, only relative difference. So we are driven to compare to others to do better.

The absurd consequence is that in many developed countries the majority of the population possesses all of the resources they'll ever need for a stable, predictable, and quality life. Convincing our selfish genes of this is not so easy.

[flyingaway]

Money is not happiness, but no money is no happiness.

[ysette9]

Just came across this excellent podcast about the science of happiness: https://www.happinesslab.fm

And in particular, episode 2: https://www.happinesslab.fm/episodes/the-unhappy-millionaire

I just finished the second podcast you linked to. Very interesting. In our lives I can say that increasing income has not brought increased happiness. It has brought increased security though. Different, but I do appreciate having it.

 It yeah, we hit our FIRE number earlier this month and it was anticlimactic. The thing we have been striving for and planning for and hoping for and it was just another day. But then we haven’t really used it yet to change our lives, just our mental state.

[DadJokes]

Just came across this excellent podcast about the science of happiness: https://www.happinesslab.fm

And in particular, episode 2: https://www.happinesslab.fm/episodes/the-unhappy-millionaire

I just finished the second podcast you linked to. Very interesting. In our lives I can say that increasing income has not brought increased happiness. It has brought increased security though. Different, but I do appreciate having it.

 It yeah, we hit our FIRE number earlier this month and it was anticlimactic. The thing we have been striving for and planning for and hoping for and it was just another day. But then we haven’t really used it yet to change our lives, just our mental state.

People who are FIRE'd seem to be a lot happier, if we are to take their word for it. Then again, they're generally all living on $70k-$80k (or less), as the podcast suggested as the ideal income for happiness. That podcast probably doesn't take the FIRE mindset into account.

I'd certainly be a lot happier if my net worth increased by $1.5 million. Anything beyond that would provide zero additional happiness and would be better served going to charity.

[2sk22]

I just finished the second podcast you linked to. Very interesting. In our lives I can say that increasing income has not brought increased happiness. It has brought increased security though. Different, but I do appreciate having it.

 It yeah, we hit our FIRE number earlier this month and it was anticlimactic. The thing we have been striving for and planning for and hoping for and it was just another day. But then we haven’t really used it yet to change our lives, just our mental state.

At least, you had a number that you were working towards and you achieved it. So you got at least some little satisfaction from this achievement. I discovered MMM and FIRE only well after I had achieved my number so I did not even have that pleasure :-) But as you correctly say, there is a feeling of increased security - and that's worth something.

[pecunia]

That feeling of increased security is worth a LOT!  Knowing I can walk away from the job and live for years has certainly given me an inner sense of peace. 

[ysette9]

That feeling of increased security is worth a LOT!  Knowing I can walk away from the job and live for years has certainly given me an inner sense of peace.

I agree. I think the mistake when we acknowledge that money doesn’t bring happiness is to think that money doesn’t bring any good at all. In my experience it doesn’t bring happiness itself but more subtle positive things like stability and a sense of security and an ability to take more risk. I’m sure this tapers out as you get more money, at which point other issues start to pop up.

[2sk22]

An interesting article from a few years ago: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/07/your-money/wealth-anxiety-money.html

Eric D. Bailey, founder and chief executive of Bailey Wealth Advisors in Silver Spring, Md., said possessing wealth was an uneasy feeling for many of his clients, a combination of business owners and mid- and upper-level executives whose average net worth is $3 million to $15 million. “They don’t take it for granted,” he said. “They never do feel they have enough. It takes some coaxing to get them to spend money.”

[Just Joe]

Won't it change depending on whether a person is seeking stability or FU money vs the people seeking material status within their country club group?

[pecunia]

Won't it change depending on whether a person is seeking stability or FU money vs the people seeking material status within their country club group?

I think you are absolutely correct.  However, I like to think most mustachian people are above some of that.  I guess I am a reverse snob in this regard.  It gets into the enlightenment thing.

[NonprofitER]

Posting to follow :)
Great thread

[2sk22]

Interesting article in the Washington Post: https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2020/01/09/1-are-much-more-satisfied-with-their-lives-than-everyone-else-survey-finds/

The rich might not be any happier than the rest of us on a day-to-day basis, in other words, but they are an awful lot more self-satisfied. Among the 1 percent, for instance, 97 percent say that they’ve already obtained the “American Dream” — the definition of which was left to the respondent — or are actively working toward it. Among low-income adults, by contrast, 4 in 10 say the American Dream is completely out of reach.

This seems a bit at odds with earlier research that happiness does not seem to increase much past a household income of $75000

[NonprofitER]

PTF

[pecunia]

OK I'll admit I'm stupid.  PTF?

PTF   Passing the Flame
PTF    Permit to Fly (European Aviation Safety Agency)
PTF   Parent Teacher Fellowship
PTF   Precise Time and Frequency
PTF   Property Trust Fund
PTF   Prime Time Freeware (free software resource)
PTF   Program Temporary Fix
PTF   Palm to Forehead
PTF   Print to File
PTF   Plain Text Format
PTF   Problem Trouble Fix
PTF   Parametric Text Format
PTF   Private Transfer Fee (real estate)
PTF   Partenaires Techniques et Financiers (French: Technical and Financial Partners)
PTF   Polymer Thick Film
PTF   Peak-Trough Fluctuation (clinical trials)
PTF   Prosjekt Til Fordypning (Norwegian: Project-Depth Study; student competency)
PTF   Prior to Funding (finance)
PTF   Path to Freedom
PTF   Pound to Fit
PTF   Proposition Technique et Financière (French: Technical and Financial Proposal)
PTF   Palomar Transient Factory
PTF   Productivité Totale des Facteurs (French)
PTF   Phase Transfer Function
PTF   Praise the Fallen (VNV Nation music album)
PTF   Patrol Torpedo, Fast (Naval Attack Craft)
PTF   Polo Training Foundation (Tully, NY)
PTF   Probably The First
PTF   Fast Patrol Craft
PTF   Malololailai, Fiji - Malololailai (Airport Code)
PTF   Pillow to Face
PTF   Platform Task Force
PTF   Police Task Force
PTF   Project Task Force (also seen as PROTAF)
PTF   PRTG (Paessler Router Traffic Grapher) Tools Family (Paessler AG)
PTF   Personnel Transaction Forms
PTF   Part Time Flex
PTF   Payload Test Facility
PTF   Patch & Test Facility
PTF   Polynomial Threshold Function (theoretical computer science)
PTF   Platform Tray Feeder
PTF   Power Trading Forum (UK power exchange interest group)
PTF   Payload Training Facility
PTF   Proton Therapy Facility
PTF   Permanent Temporary Fix (humor)
PTF   Probabilistic Trend Family
PTF   Pure Talk Forum (forum)
PTF   Petroleum Training Federation (UK)
PTF   Playstation Theme File (file extension PSP system theme)
PTF   Pipe Taper Fine (threading)
PTF   Part Table File (Cadence File Format for Schematic Parts)
PTF   Power Transfer Factor
PTF   Pull Test Facility
PTF   Part-Time Friend
PTF   Part-Time Factor
PTF   Payload Type Field
PTF   Purchase Trigger File
PTF   Parcel Transfer Fee
PTF   Programmed To Fail
PTF   Palm to Face
PTF   Per-Tone Filter
PTF   Pourquoi Take French (educational song)
PTF   Protect the Family

[iluvzbeach]

@pecunia PTF - Posting to Follow

It makes this thread show up in your list of “Show new replies to your posts” link, so that you can continue to read the thread as new posts are added without having to search for it.

I had intended to make my own PTF comment on this thread, but responding to your question accomplished the same thing.

[cloud72]

Money doesn't bring happiness. Contentment and satisfaction bring true happiness. A billionaire who is not content what he has is not happy.  A homeless people on the street is happier if he's content on what he has.
I've watched an interview involving a North Korean defector who escaped and moved to South Korea. That girl mentioned she was happier when she was in North Korea even though she was poor.    11:00 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DyqUw0WYwoc

The purpose of money is that it provides for necessities like food, clothing, shelter, and transportation.
FIRE brings freedom: no need to answer to a boss. No need to sell our time. Remove work-related stresses.  It doesn't bring happiness.

[hadabeardonce]

Why Finland and Denmark Are Happier Than The U.S. by CNBC Make It:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Pm0Mn0-jYU

[pecunia]

Did you notice the average pay was about what Mr. Money Mustache says you can live just fine on?  Interesting

[roomtempmayo]

There have been a bunch of popular articles in the past week about a paper by an economist arguing that unhappiness peaks in middle age, particularly age 47 on average: https://www.nber.org/papers/w26642

I'm curious why you all think it would be that 47 seems to be such a miserable time for so many people.

[BicycleB]

I like the list of articles. Read one, will absorb others sometime, probably. Thanks for posting.

[ysette9]

I started reading The Happiness Curve each argues that humans go through a dip in happiness in mid life that is, on average, independent of what is going on in life. In fact it is observed across countries and income levels, and even in other primates. I haven’t gotten far enough along to learn why though. ;-)

[exterous]

I was just thinking about this this week. I took on a new role that was a substantial raise so I've gotten to see what happens first hand (for me at least). I'd already read that more income doesn't tend to add happiness above a certain level so I wasn't expecting to necessarily be happier. Home life and freedoms available have improved while still meeting our savings goals. For example we could get a cleaning lady to come in periodically if we wanted. Paying for my MIL's car repair was NBD. A little less attention paid to our monthly budget and searching for deals is easily absorbed. The downside is that I'm busier so we're kinda considering outsourcing some cleaning and I don't have as much time to look for deals or do meal prep. In terms of happiness I'd say I went backwards a few steps due to the added pressure even though people might think I should be happier because I have more money.

I'm hopeful that some of the stress is from a little turmoil at work that should calm down this year plus being new to some of these responsibilities. If not I'll have some choices to make to about if the added stress is worth the added income and slightly earlier retirement age.

[2sk22]

^ Probably being tied down by the American Dream. Deep in debt, big mortgage for the fancy house and car and "stuff", obnoxious teens you still gotta support, spouse you may not be as excited about, pot belly from hours sitting in front of a computer at work instead of exercising, caring for aging parents,  unfulfilled youthful dreams that have vanished with age and with current and future obligations that one may have no foreseeable way out for years, 20 years until you can "might" be able to quit the soul sucking job, Etc. I could go on. I think its is more about being unhappy with your lifestyle at that age then it is about age. Ask others who live a different, more freer life and you may get different answers.

I think you have precisely characterized what I have thought of as the "trough". Exactly as you describe, the combination of dealing with a stressful job, teenage kids and aging parents is a toxic mix. I think I hit the trough in my mid fifties which is a bit late. However, I had kids a little late and parents were in relatively good shape until then.

Thankfully, my dip in happiness was not as severe because I had already achieved financial independence by that point. As I have described in the "2M to 3M" topic, I had no idea that I was FI until last year when I ran the various calculators :-)

[SeanTash]

^ Probably being tied down by the American Dream. Deep in debt, big mortgage for the fancy house and car and "stuff", obnoxious teens you still gotta support, spouse you may not be as excited about, pot belly from hours sitting in front of a computer at work instead of exercising, caring for aging parents,  unfulfilled youthful dreams that have vanished with age and with current and future obligations that one may have no foreseeable way out for years, 20 years until you can "might" be able to quit the soul sucking job, Etc. I could go on. I think its is more about being unhappy with your lifestyle at that age then it is about age. Ask others who live a different, more freer life and you may get different answers.

Yeah, I don't think it's the age itself.
I'm just past 47, and never been happier.
But I have zero of those issues in the list to deal with!

[pecunia]

Sometimes it is not the actions of men that can cause the dip in mood.  The cycle of the seasons certainly plays a big part.  The lack of sunshine in Winter, for example, hits a lot of us.  Cold weather and snow doesn't help a lot either.  One's health certainly does play a big part.

[BTDretire]

Some one once said something similar to,
Money can't buy happiness, but a lack of money can buy a lot of misery.

[joemandadman189]

This reminds me of a joke by Daniel Tosh which went along the lines of "Money can't by happiness... yea right... money can buy a jet ski, ever see someone frown on a jet ski, nope, me neither"

money provides stability, security, opportunity, choice and freedom, if you can't generate your own happiness with those  things you don't want to be happy

great post though, i need to browse the articles

[roomtempmayo]

^ Probably being tied down by the American Dream. Deep in debt, big mortgage for the fancy house and car and "stuff", obnoxious teens you still gotta support, spouse you may not be as excited about, pot belly from hours sitting in front of a computer at work instead of exercising, caring for aging parents,  unfulfilled youthful dreams that have vanished with age and with current and future obligations that one may have no foreseeable way out for years, 20 years until you can "might" be able to quit the soul sucking job, Etc. I could go on. I think its is more about being unhappy with your lifestyle at that age then it is about age. Ask others who live a different, more freer life and you may get different answers.

This is pretty much what I was guessing based on the relatively limited cases I've seen of men who used to be happy guys who became decidedly not happy in mid-life.

Some of it seems like it can be well explained using the lens of hedonic adaptation.  You buy a big house with a 30 year mortgage in a nice neighborhood, and it's fun, for a while.  You have a couple kids, and they're new and fun and rewarding, for a while.  You buy a new car, maybe even a luxury car, for yourself and/or your spouse, and the cars are fun, for a while.

But eventually all of the fun of the big lifestyle seems normal and not so fun, and it starts to feel like a real drag for the primary breadwinner who at this time of year is leaving for work and coming home in the dark, experiencing little benefit from the big, fancy house or the nice neighborhood or even the kids.  The whole bloated lifestyle that you're funding starts to look like a burden rather than a joy, but you're trapped because serious downsizing would provoke WWIII at home.

And you're looking straight at college tuition for the kids along with your own retirement, both of which you haven't saved for because, the house and the cars.  You're trapped, and it's going to last twenty more years.

***

I do really admire the folks on here who have had the guts to see this situation for the trap it is and pull the plug on it to live a life that makes them happy.

[brandon1827]

I don't think you can make a blanket statement on this topic either way. Like our individual FI goals, happiness in relation to money is a very individual thing. While I understand that depending on your viewpoint and whether you're talking about being ultra rich and if that automatically brings happiness, versus being completely debt-free and financially independent through hard work/saving, could be two distinctly different questions. For my personal situation, were I to win the powerball and instantly become a mega millionaire, I know it would bring happiness. It would allow me to no longer work, so that I could spend time doing things that I really want to do like spend time with my family, hike, travel, etc. These things would make me happier than I am today...therefore money = happiness. It would also allow me to help my family become debt free, donate to causes that I choose, etc. which would also result in my happiness and the happiness of others. By the same token though, If I do continue on my current path with no unforeseen windfalls of millions of dollars, and I just reach FI on my own, when that day comes and I have enough to no longer work, I will still be happy because I can do what I want to do, and not what I have to do now. This would also make me happy.

Love the quote by Tosh also @joe189man ...that's sort of my philosophy when it comes to these things, lol