Author Topic: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*  (Read 9065 times)

Kay-Ell

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Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« on: May 01, 2018, 02:10:45 PM »
Like a lot of you, I've been getting a ton of enjoyment out of the "Soon-to-be-millionaire" thread over on the Antimustashian Wall of Shame Comedy.  It's full of WTF moments where you just can't even imagine the idiocy required to make that particular string of doomed decisions.  So I thought it would be fun to imagine what our friends and relatives might say about us on another finance forum somewhere, full of spendy pants, that think the frugal FIRE community is made up of complete lunatics.

Here's mine (from the other thread)

"Then she quit her job, and buys everything from yard sales and craigslist!  And when I asked what she planned to do if the economy goes belly up, she just shrugged her shoulders and said she guesses she'd have to find a way to earn money!  But when she was actually offered another job, did she take it?  No, she turned it down saying she didn't think she'd need the money.  And bear in mind this person is not a multi-millionaire.  Like AT ALL!  But somehow she's deluded herself into thinking she can live off of savings and real estate investments, because "frugality!"

eljefe-speaks

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #1 on: May 01, 2018, 02:15:43 PM »
"He has a well-paying job and - get this - drives an old Toyota Matrix with paint peeling off the door!"

ScreamingHeadGuy

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2018, 03:37:24 PM »
Thanks for making the thread.

"I'm so glad he knows to save his money and invest it.  But he's too young to retire.  What will he do with all his time?  I don't think he'll be happy just sitting around (he doesn't even watch TV!) all day.  He will have to go back to work as soon as he gets bored."

savedough

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2018, 03:42:52 PM »
"He kids have, like, two pairs of shoes.  She doesn't even want people to bring presents to her kids' birthday parties.  And they only get a few presents for each kid for Christmas.   I would hate to be her child."

Vegasgirl

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2018, 03:43:30 PM »
I hear this several times a week now - "But what are you going to do?" and "I'm sure you'll go back to school or find a really nice job"  I just laugh at them.  People just can't fathom it.

Orvell

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2018, 03:43:43 PM »
Ha! This is a hoot!

"She's pretty young and she works in a low paying field. I can't believe she asked to go part time-- for a pay cut! She's not even a mom or anything. All she does with her extra time is make art... I hear it's not even particularly profitable. She also walks to work and packs lunch, so she's clearly hurting for it."

jlcnuke

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2018, 03:52:54 PM »
"He better pray he lives a long time, it would be a shame to have been so busy saving money that he hardly spends any on enjoying life now and never get to enjoy it".

grandep

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2018, 03:53:23 PM »
"He literally NEVER spends money. He even rinses out and reuses his Ziploc bags! So gross!! I don't know what the point of saving so much is. Like, he's going to live a crappy life now so he can retire  early and live a crappy life forever?"

This doesn't require a lot of imagination on my part because I have actually heard people say these things.

wordnerd

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #8 on: May 01, 2018, 06:23:37 PM »
"They have two kids, including a new baby, and they're just up and quitting their jobs! Both of them! At the same time! Right when they were hitting their career high points. What are they thinking?"

EmFrugal

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #9 on: May 01, 2018, 08:18:37 PM »
"I can't believe they actually choose to drive one car. And an older one at that. I mean, my God, they have three kids. What about all those after school and weekend activities? How can they function? And the husband walks a mile to and from the metro station every day. All so they can save some money? Who does that?"

BookLoverL

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #10 on: May 02, 2018, 01:42:17 AM »
"She bought a second hand laptop and the battery doesn't even work properly, so she has to plug it in all the time. And she doesn't care about fashion, like, at ALL. And she thinks she's going to be rich on part-time work and self-employment. Isn't that just too much effort to get a self-employed business going? Plus, the other day, she walked an hour each way to the library. What was wrong with taking the car?!"

Freedomin5

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #11 on: May 02, 2018, 04:55:38 AM »
“It’s such a shame. She’s wasting her degree by quitting after only working for five years. It took her 10 years of university education and over $100K to get her degree. She worked so hard for nothing.”

Oh, and another one:

“She’s so selfish to be quitting so early. People NEED her, and there aren’t that many people who are trained to do what she can do.”

dude

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #12 on: May 02, 2018, 06:08:56 AM »
"The guy hardly even works now, always on vacation and gets all those federal holidays off, and has a super-easy gig -- he's practically stealing money! -- and he's gonna give up a six-figure job with ironclad security! What a moron!"

asauer

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #13 on: May 02, 2018, 07:35:30 AM »
"She only throws home parties for her kids and did you see that they all wear 2nd hand clothing?!  Ugh.  She doesn't even pay for her kids don't even do structured activities.  What hippies."

kaypinkHH

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #14 on: May 02, 2018, 07:58:57 AM »
"She is 39 weeks pregnant, and spends her precious fleeting free time in the evenings running all over the city to buy things on kijiji, she should be resting!"

"They don't even have cable!! What do they do in their free time!"

"They shop at the cheap grocery store, and then she spends all weekend cooking and freezing meals, that must be exhausting!"

 "Her and her husband are doing the extended parental leave plan. Don't they know that NO ONE can afford to do that!!!"

mathlete

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #15 on: May 02, 2018, 08:28:46 AM »
Humblebrag: The Thread

But whatever, I'm not above it! Here's one I get a lot that is precipitated by me doing something cheap.

"What are you doing?  You HAVE money!"

One of my favorite instances of this happened when I went to an amusement park with friends. I ate an early lunch before hand and brought a protein bar, an apple and some home made trail mix to snack on, which got me laughed at. Throughout a 12 hour day, my friends spent $30-$35 on park food and a few felt sick to their stomachs by the end of the day. Last laugh!

Adventine

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #16 on: May 02, 2018, 08:56:46 AM »
"She doesn't know how to enjoy life. She doesn't own a car, she doesn't have a house, she doesn't have cable or a WiFi connection, she buys secondhand clothes and is too cheap to get a haircut. She doesn't dress up, buy jewelry or use makeup. All she does is read books and write things in her notebooks. She should live a little!"


OtherJen

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #17 on: May 02, 2018, 09:15:18 AM »
“What kind of woman claims to hate shopping? And she rarely eats at restaurants, cooks most of her own food, and thinks tent camping is a fun vacation. Poor thing must be completely broke. Why else would she live in a tiny house with no cable and drive a used car? How sad.”

Fomerly known as something

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #18 on: May 02, 2018, 09:18:05 AM »
Can you believe that she is eligible for early retirement in 7 years and she hasn't thought of what she is going to do in her second career.  She says she might become a national park bum or something for some short contracts if she feels like it.  She is actually going to retire. 

Doesn't she know she should work that 2nd job for 20 years to have even more money to spend on all the things that she doesn't know she needs.

Heck she's says she'd be gone right now if it wasn't for the so-so (actually pretty sweet) healthcare she gets at retirement. 

YoungGranny

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #19 on: May 02, 2018, 10:11:32 AM »
"She told me she's selling her 5-year old car on Friday so I asked her what she was buying. She told me her and her husband were going to share his car which is a crappy two-door Honda that's over 10 years old! We live in the Midwest so she obviously needs 4wd plus how are they going to fit anything in a Honda and what if she needs to give somebody a ride? The car only has 2 doors!! It's not like she couldn't afford a new car and I don't see why they wouldn't at least sell the old crappy car and keep the newer one. It just doesn't make any sense."



ketchup

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #20 on: May 02, 2018, 10:36:46 AM »
"His 2009 car died, and he replaced it with a 2001!  What the hell?"
"Is that the same shirt he wore to his interview in 2011?"
"Does he EVER go out to lunch like a normal person?  Why does he cook chicken and broccoli every day in the convection oven in the lunch room? That's too much work."
"Tap water? Ew."

savedough

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #21 on: May 02, 2018, 10:48:09 AM »
"Tap water? Ew."

Every day, ....  And additionally, my husband works for the city and designed the water treatment facility and he drinks it, so why wouldn't I?

mm1970

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #22 on: May 02, 2018, 10:53:55 AM »
"He has a well-paying job and - get this - drives an old Toyota Matrix with paint peeling off the door!"

Ha ha, ditto!

"They make a good income but their 6th grader wears nothing but holey shirts".

BlueHouse

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #23 on: May 02, 2018, 10:59:16 AM »
"She keeps that house so damn cold, I have to wear a sweater!  And have you seen that pantry?  It's full of diced tomatoes and beans!  No one can eat that all the time!  And she seems to be hoarding old chicken bones in the freezer.  Who does that?


 [Great topic!] 

PoutineLover

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #24 on: May 02, 2018, 11:03:51 AM »
"she bikes 24 kilometers each way to do a leisure activity? Even in the rain? Why doesn't she just get a car?"
"she doesn't live in a fancy apartment even though she could afford one, doesn't she care what people think?"

Hirondelle

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #25 on: May 02, 2018, 11:05:03 AM »
"I don't understand it. She's got a salary now, but she still lives like a college student taking out loans for every extra dollar she spends"

"My co-worker is so boring. Every time I ask her what she thinks of [random thing in online shop] she justs tells me it's useless and I don't need it"

"She's never seen any TV ads! Like seriously, this ad has been on for the past 3 years and she didn't even recognize it!"

"I can't believe she's still living with roomates. Why doesn't she get her own place? It's just $200/month more!"

"She doesn't even have Netflix!! I offered her my password and she said no. Doesn't watch series she told me"

ketchup

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #26 on: May 02, 2018, 12:06:24 PM »
"Tap water? Ew."

Every day, ....  And additionally, my husband works for the city and designed the water treatment facility and he drinks it, so why wouldn't I?
There's a sink 12 feet from my cubical, and there's a water cooler 50ft away that's empty at least 20% of the time and has water that (to me) tastes worse than tap.  Why in the world wouldn't I drink the tap water?  Nobody else does.

BTDretire

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #27 on: May 02, 2018, 12:48:24 PM »
He can afford more, why does he drive that 21 year old truck?
 Or have his college son driving that 21 years old car?

We have had the truck 18 years and it only has 107k miles on it.
 We recently sold that 21 yr old car, it only had 217k miles, we paid $4,000
and sold it for $2,700, drove it 11 years. That $100 a year. :-)
 This is our first month without cable TV or a land phone.
During the change over, I didn't have internet for most of a day.
First 3 calls they told me it was my router, I connected the modem
directly to the computer, 4 call they said Oh, I think we did
something wrong, I'll call you back.
An hour later they called back and ask if I could get on line, I could.
 When I got the internet only bill, it was a few dollars high, I called to
get it fixed and then I mention shut off and the 4 calls, I got $9 knocked off.
 I was hoping for $4.

YoungGranny

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #28 on: May 02, 2018, 01:21:43 PM »
THIS JUST IN:

"She bikes to work and says it 'saves money' but her commute is only 10 miles round trip $1 a day in gas is hardly worth it!"

auntie_betty

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #29 on: May 02, 2018, 02:14:23 PM »
"She brings in breakfast and lunch every day and drinks the crappy free tea and coffee rather than a takeout from Starbucks. And she buys clothes from a charity shop. She lives in a really cheap area but earns a great salary, what's she doing with it?"

"Oh. She's retiring. At 53. Well, that'll give her more time for charity shopping".

RetiredAt63

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #30 on: May 02, 2018, 06:26:33 PM »
"Mom, you're not a university student any more, you didn't need to rescue that computer desk from the curb and drag it through slush to your apartment." 

5 years later and I'm still using that rescued computer desk.  ;-)

Rosy

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #31 on: May 03, 2018, 05:56:56 AM »
I can't believe they hang-dry everything - outside - for all to see, who still does that? They can well afford a dryer ... sheesh, maybe they are worse off than we thought!
Poor thing and at her age too, tsk!
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 07:21:13 AM by Rosy »

bugbaby

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #32 on: May 03, 2018, 07:14:45 AM »
"She doesn't know how to enjoy life. She doesn't own a car, she doesn't have a house, she doesn't have cable or a WiFi connection, she buys secondhand clothes and is too cheap to get a haircut. She doesn't dress up, buy jewelry or use makeup. All she does is read books and write things in her notebooks. She should live a little!"
+1 except I drive a car.

And "She never gets manis or pedis, never goes to the hair salon, does not own a single Coach purse...."

Sent from my KIW-L24 using Tapatalk


Spitfire

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #33 on: May 03, 2018, 07:47:17 AM »
"It's easy for him to save, he doesn't have a wife and kids."

markbike528CBX

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #34 on: May 03, 2018, 07:57:07 AM »
"He still has a shirt from high school, no... literally a high school track team shirt. I mean come on... that's 35  years ago!"
"He has a shirt still in the packaging (plastic wrap) from a laundromat in Taiwan from 2001".

MissNancyPryor

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #35 on: May 03, 2018, 07:59:28 AM »
"Hey, Nancy looks put together today because the color of her shoes matches her shirt.  But it is just too bad she just can't get it together and buy Frye tall boots like we do and have her hair colored and get her nails done.  She could be so cute and could catch a guy again.  She should really work on being more up to date with her style if she wants to be happy."

The sweet young thangs saying this this have no money (and have had no kids yet so life is all shopping and lunch dates and daily Starbucks).  Each have been married less than 5 years. 

They have no money and I have a bunch, as well as an exit plan from working life.   

And I really don't look bad, I guess I just look like a mom to them or something with my basic black slacks and a colorful top.  I try to dump the frump where I can but I am not spending bucks on the latest fashion-whatever.  Just not going to do that.   

SwordGuy

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #36 on: May 03, 2018, 08:40:58 AM »
"He quit his $100,000 a year job to be an artist!  And he knows his work isn't good enough yet to sell!   He'll be a real 'starving artist'!"

They don't know that our income in retirement will be around $100,000 a year, with enough surplus in a regular year to buy a new rental property and fix it up every other year.   After a few years, we'll be able to buy one every year -- for cash -- in retirement!

They also don't realize I don't ever have to sell a single piece of art for money.



Sayonara925

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #37 on: May 03, 2018, 08:49:57 AM »
I find DIY enjoyable, including my own yard work, plus I get some exercise.  One day I'm pouring sweat, dirty, standing in a deep hole I'm digging to plant a tree.  Neighbor couple walk by and stop...

"Dude, I can send my guy over to do that for you.  No worries, he's not too pricey.  That looks like hard work."

"Oh, no thanks, I'm good.  I find this relaxing, gets my heart rate up.  Sun, fresh air..."

Walks away mumbling how he's glad he can afford to pay people to do his labor.

poetdereves

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #38 on: May 03, 2018, 08:50:41 AM »
“Once they have kids he might be a SAHD or only work part time. I heard his wife has always made more money than he has. He must feel super lame that he can’t provide for his own family.”

“I saw his closet. It’s almost completely empty. I don’t think he even owns a button up shirt!”

“He doesn’t drink. Like AT ALL. He must never have any fun with people.”

“They put all of their expenses on credit cards. They must have so much debt.”

“They’ve been together for 12 years and still don’t have any kids. What are they waiting for? They’re not getting any younger.”

“They go on a lot of trips. How does someone in school and working part time afford so many plane tickets?”


hudsoncat

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #39 on: May 03, 2018, 09:19:55 AM »
As reported by my cousin (who 'gets' what we're doing, even though it isn't his plan), said by my aunt: "I know they have decent jobs making decent money. I can't understand why they only own one car! And they don't have cable or do anything fun. What do they spend all their money on? Are they doing drugs? Oh my god, they're doing DRUGS!"

Cousin and I had a pretty good laugh. He did try to assure the family that we were not doing drugs. Remains to be seen if they believe him.

Hirondelle

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #40 on: May 03, 2018, 09:26:23 AM »
This one happened for real. I have a 6-7 year old dress (think: colorful summer dress, very flattering) that I still LOVE and wear regularly. My mom loved it too when we bought it but now she hates it because it's "too old and out of fashion" even though the colors and fit are the same. I always tell her how many people compliment me every time they see me in particular dress.

Mom: "Oh I see you're wearing thát dress on the photo. Did anyone say something about it?!"

Me: "Yes, another compliment to your favorite dress of mine!"

Mom: "I can't believe people still compliment you over that old thing"

Me: "That's why I have to move cities/countries every year mom... to prevent people will realize it's that old"

Mom: "BUT I STILL HAVE TO LOOK AT IT"

wallet

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #41 on: May 03, 2018, 10:42:58 AM »
"He bikes to work - like from the suburbs. Every day, even when it rains! And then he runs that damn fan in his cubicle to dry out his biking clothes so he can bike back...in the rain! He says it's because his wife uses the car on maternity leave, but that's even worse! Why doesn't he just get a second car like a normal person"

"What is the mush you're eating today" (told to me last week by an indirect manager in the lunch room - "quinoa vegetable stew, thanks. It's delicious" Harrumph).

"He's so lucky to get the summer off" (leave without pay to look after my youngest - I budgeted for it - they could do the same for any reason, it's company policy).

"Nice haircut! I got to XYZ fancy place! Where do you go?"
"My backyard - I cut my own hair and so I don't have to deal with the mess!"
"Oh" - *blank stare*
....then heard down the hall to another colleague "who on earth cuts their own hair?"
« Last Edit: May 03, 2018, 10:44:39 AM by Wallet »

Hadilly

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #42 on: May 03, 2018, 11:24:37 AM »
Non friends: Her husband bikes to work and brings his lunch every single day! You would think he could afford a parking permit and Macdonalds once in awhile.

Or, why do they always try to rent their house out when they go on vacation?

My (much poorer) sibling would roll their eyes and say, "so when we were camping, she bought a camp chair and new jackets for her son a thrift shop. That's after going to REI and doing a price comparison. He had to do all that math to figure out that they saved over $200 by choosing used. Poor little guy, she is just brainwashing him. He's only seven!"


fantabulous

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #43 on: May 03, 2018, 12:22:14 PM »
I'm kind of soft compared to most folks here, but I'll get on that mock yourself for fun thing:

"She won't find a job elsewhere that pays twice as much because she needs time for 'community work'"

fattest_foot

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #44 on: May 03, 2018, 02:44:08 PM »
My wife sent me this yesterday and I thought she was quoting the thread. I told her, "At least you're not alone!" Turns out she just made up her own about herself, because it was something she had just done.

"She must really be strapped for cash.  She has real silverware here at work.  When her silverware is dirty and she's too lazy to wash it, she uses plastic THEN washes the plastic when she finally gets around to washing the silverware."

AMandM

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #45 on: May 03, 2018, 02:59:24 PM »
Actually said to me by a relative having dinner at our house:

"Don't you have any paper napkins?"

MaybeBabyMustache

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #46 on: May 03, 2018, 05:49:20 PM »
Can you believe those two make a lot of money, and still spend weekends cleaning their own house, working in the yard, prepping meals, etc? They work hard - why don't they get help?

SwordGuy

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #47 on: May 03, 2018, 06:38:26 PM »
"How can he afford to retire?  He's driving a beat up 16 year old SEDAN that's covered in hailstone dents!"

big_slacker

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #48 on: May 03, 2018, 06:52:21 PM »
I don't need this, because I get it all the time from friends

"You make over $xxxK a year, drive a 10 year old truck and eat rice and beans. WTF man!"

jinga nation

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Re: Mock Yourself *Just For Fun*
« Reply #49 on: May 04, 2018, 08:58:50 AM »
"He's a useless fool who likes to tinker with computers and DIY projects and fix broken stuff and go to the beach and doesn't like fancy clothing and doesn't like eating out more than once a week and likes that hippity uppity craft beer. And his wife tolerates all that. And he spends so much time with his kids."

(Above is a summary of said about me, either behind my back or I overheard)
« Last Edit: May 04, 2018, 09:03:37 AM by jinga nation »