Author Topic: MMM therapy:Philosophical problems about work, home and life (somewhat rambling)  (Read 28103 times)

MVal

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FWIW, we don't have much of this "follow your dreams" stuff in UK schools, much more "knuckle down and pass this arbitrary government test" and I'm not sure it makes us turn out radically different to americans in terms of career choices, consumer spending habits etc etc.

Not knowing much about UK, I'm going to throw this out, aware that it may be wrong:

Perhaps the career choices don't differ much, because freshly minted adults can largely only choose from what is available.  The difference may be in the sentiment. If you think you 'deserve' a better, more meaningful career, you will be unhappy that you didn't find it. If not, you will be happy that you found your place under the sun and are a functioning adult. It's the same job in the end, but different expectations lead to different levels of happiness or anxiety.

This is not taking into account student loans, and years wasted waiting tables because 'acting is your calling'.  These, to be fair, are not a problem for majority. But for those that experience them, they can be a big problem.

This.

I agree that expectations have about the largest influence on your happiness. Over-expecting and the inevitable disappointment are what makes so many people miserable, myself included. I wish we had been instilled with more realism growing up, such as being taught the non-glamorous realities of being an adult and all the little pesky details that make life a drag. Not expecting this makes one feel like a failure when you're not shooting the lights out at 25 like they said you would be. Part of the problem could also be we only saw what we wanted to see. Some people probably tried to tell us how hard it would be, but we probably weren't listening.

The Happy Philosopher

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FWIW, we don't have much of this "follow your dreams" stuff in UK schools, much more "knuckle down and pass this arbitrary government test" and I'm not sure it makes us turn out radically different to americans in terms of career choices, consumer spending habits etc etc.

I would disagree. The main messages I got from school were:

1. Choose a university subject you are "passionate" about and worry about your career later.
2. Yes, you must go to university or you will die eating rats under a bridge.
3. When you do finally choose your career (at or after university), you must choose an authorised upper middle class career (banker, doctor, lawyer) or die eating rats under a bridge.
4. Equally and at the same time, you must be passionate about your chosen career.
5. If you choose an alternative career:
i. If it is creative/unorthodox then you will have failed to fulfil your potential UNLESS you get mega-famous.
ii. If it is lower level (e.g. Shop assistant or receptionist) then you will have failed to fulfil your potential and will die eating rats under a bridge.
6. Anything less than world domination in your career means you are failing to fulfil your potential and deserve to die eating rats under a bridge.
7. Anything other than overwhelming passion for your career means you will never achieve world domination.
8. No, we cannot tell you what career to choose to fulfil the potential we have arbitrarily decided you have and to make sure you don't die eating rats under a bridge. But don't worry, just choose a subject you're passionate about to study at university (despite the fact that A levels have killed any passion you thought you might have for the subject) and everything will magically be alright.

School is so fucked up.
Nicely said. Remember, school is taught and run by people who went through the system and are largely happy with their decision. It is a giant filter and there is huge selection bias. They largely teach one to conform to a narrow band of what they feel 'success' is. School can be a useful tool, but beware it's influence on your world view.

cerat0n1a

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I would disagree. The main messages I got from school were:
...
School is so fucked up.

Didn't you go to a private/boarding school though?

What you describe doesn't sound typical of state schools - and it doesn't really sound too similar to the "follow your dreams" stuff that milliemchi was talking about, either? Does sound like it's setting people up for unhappiness & disappointment though.

On the subject of inappropriate careers advice. Youngest son (15) had to prepare a CV (résumé for you Americans, who like to use French instead of Latin!) for a mock job interview at school today. He's been vegetarian since the age of 5 (his own choice, only one in the family.) The interviewer was from the village meat packing factory. Not exactly a meeting of minds.

dreams_and_discoveries

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FWIW, we don't have much of this "follow your dreams" stuff in UK schools, much more "knuckle down and pass this arbitrary government test" and I'm not sure it makes us turn out radically different to americans in terms of career choices, consumer spending habits etc etc.

I would disagree. The main messages I got from school were:

1. Choose a university subject you are "passionate" about and worry about your career later.
2. Yes, you must go to university or you will die eating rats under a bridge.
3. When you do finally choose your career (at or after university), you must choose an authorised upper middle class career (banker, doctor, lawyer) or die eating rats under a bridge.
4. Equally and at the same time, you must be passionate about your chosen career.
5. If you choose an alternative career:
i. If it is creative/unorthodox then you will have failed to fulfil your potential UNLESS you get mega-famous.
ii. If it is lower level (e.g. Shop assistant or receptionist) then you will have failed to fulfil your potential and will die eating rats under a bridge.
6. Anything less than world domination in your career means you are failing to fulfil your potential and deserve to die eating rats under a bridge.
7. Anything other than overwhelming passion for your career means you will never achieve world domination.
8. No, we cannot tell you what career to choose to fulfil the potential we have arbitrarily decided you have and to make sure you don't die eating rats under a bridge. But don't worry, just choose a subject you're passionate about to study at university (despite the fact that A levels have killed any passion you thought you might have for the subject) and everything will magically be alright.

School is so fucked up.

Wow - this makes my school seem so progressive and modern. it was a mixed comprehensive school, and I remember all the careers guidance being very tailored to individuals.

The UK may be different as you can leave school at 16, and those who weren't interested in school and/or poor academically were encouraged to leave formal school at 16, and consider vocational training, working or apprenticeships. People weren't encouraged to stay in school that did not want to be there.

The academic bunch got the which uni are you applying to, and lots of encouragement to apply - I don't recall the subjects being pushed towards the traditional subjects.

And those in-between were in effect given both options. Nothing was presented as a failure, more a divergence of equally valid paths - which aligns with what we need in society  - it's a bit Brave New World, but we do still need these different types of occupations to make our world work.

Shelivesthedream - what sort of school did you go to? I'm suspecting an academically selective private school if they are pushing those messages?

shelivesthedream

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Yes, it was a very academic private school. My post did start out relevant but then diverged into a bit of a vitriolic rant!