MMM has ruined the fun of shopping

[MelodysMustache]

I admit it.  I like shopping for new clothes.  My shopping budget was never huge, but it was guilt-free.

Now I cannot pull the trigger on buying new stuff because I already have stuff and don't really need new stuff.   But I want new stuff!  :)  Cannot figure out if this conundrum is good or bad.  I think it is good.  I am thinking of checking out a local thrift store for a couple of items to get my shopping fix. 

What do others around here, who used to love to shop, do for that fix?

[pachnik]

I can't say that I ever loved to shop and this definitely kept me out of trouble. 

But sometimes I do get the urge to go shopping and I just go to the thrift shop (Value Village) by my apartment. Often, I don't find anything I like but after prowling around in the store my urge to shop is gone.

Or I think of something that I will need soon from the drugstore (floss, toothpaste), go look around in there and then buy what I need and leave.

[savingtofreedom]

I also love shopping.

Now I shop my closet.  Being pregnant not fitting into anything properly helps :).  Also the quality of clothing has gone down dramatically (at least from my perspective) which makes it easier not to buy.

I never really was successful at Thrift shops - especially as I typically bought things at retail on super sale - 70 - 90% off.  The need to shop will lessen over time - I promise.  I wish I could get my friends and I together to do a swap but we really aren't that similar in size which would make it difficult.

I can't promise that I won't ever shop again but I have gotten much more ruthless in my purchases when I make them.

[Osprey]

I used to enjoy recreational shopping too, especially for clothes and cosmetics. MMM has changed my mindset so that it's no longer fun and the longer I stay away from malls the more they annoy me. Nowadays I get the same fix shopping for groceries - it's the same kind of process i.e. doing price comparisons, assessing quality, acquiring something new, looking for deals. Except that you are literally going to eat the stuff, so there's less pain in parting with your hard earned money.

[brewer12345]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes

[MelodysMustache]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes

That is too funny!!

I went to my neighborhood thrift store, and it worked out pretty well.  Got a few items with brand names that I know are decent quality, including a pair of NYD jeans that I have been wanting for a while.  Fix satisfied and I still have money in my clothing category for some future time. So I won't reload the category anytime soon meaning more goes to savings.  I also need to focus on classic basics that will last instead of the season's trends.

It's time for me to get past my bias that I got from growing up poor and getting my clothes at thrift stores.  I can get my clothes second hand and it will mean that I have more money, not less.

[brewer12345]

I have recently jumped on the thrift store bandwagon as part of a midset/lifestyle shift as we transition to ESR/part time work.  Plenty of nice stuff there for peanuts and the kids actualluy like shopping there too.

[cats]

Yes and no?  I never really liked the whole going to the mall and shopping recreationally, BUT I did like nice clothes.  When I decided to start buckling down on my spending a bit, I got more into shopping my closet also.  I actually don't have a TON of clothes but even so, you can still create a "new" outfit by just mixing and matching some pieces that you wouldn't have before. 

Thrift stores are very hit or miss for women's clothing, I find.  My BF, on the other hand, seems to be able to go in an pick up a couple of nice dress shirts EVERY TIME.  It's so annoying!

[lifejoy]

I used to shop as a hobby, too.

Now, my friends and I host clothing swaps every six months! I only buy when I really need something (like if I have zero pairs of jeans, buying a pair is ok) and I have tons of fun shopping at the clothing swaps! We make them potluck events, too. :) Tons of fun, no guilt, and the remaining clothes get donated to women's shelters!

Would that be something you could try?

[golden1]

Yep, I stopped cold turkey the recreational shopping hobby back in early June once I started reading mmm.   I have been in the mall only once in two months and that was to get sunglasses and I just went in and out.  Like a pp said, I get my fix grocery shopping.  I think the key is finding things to fill the time you used to spend shopping with other hobbies and things.  I have been exercising and reading (free library books of course) more.  It actually was a lot easier to give up than I thought it would be. 

I actually have to go back into the mall or some other shopping place soon for the kids back to school stuff and I am kind of dreading it.  I am going to try catalog shopping mostly to avoid temptation.

[Albert]

Maybe you are too easily influenced? I never much liked shopping for clothes, but if I feel like I need something I go to the mall or more likely to downtown shopping area and buy it. Three or four times a year perhaps since I have a lot of clothes already.

[MelodysMustache]

Maybe you are too easily influenced? I never much liked shopping for clothes, but if I feel like I need something I go to the mall or more likely to downtown shopping area and buy it. Three or four times a year perhaps since I have a lot of clothes already.

I was going to reject this idea, but I gave myself some time to consider it.  I suspect you are right and I am trying to change that.

The backstory to my original post is that I have been feeling somewhat frustrated by my wardrobe.  I have been buying things that caught my attention rather than being thoughtful about having a cohesive framework of fashion in my closet.  So shopping has been fun, but not as efficient as it should have been.

Several weeks ago I started reading the chic fashionista website.  In particular, the wardrobe essentials part of the site has a comprehensive list of clothing items that I can modify to fit my needs.  I have been wanting to refresh my wardrobe with the items listed so I quit having the “closet full of clothes and nothing to wear” situation.

Is this effort strictly necessary?  Of course not.  That being said, looking good helps me feel better about myself.  The question I was struggling with was how to address this while being true to my long term goal of FI. 

I started with an understanding of what was in my closet.  When I went to the thrift store this morning I had a list of specific items and colors and I only permitted myself to look at those things.  It worked out better than I expected.  Especially since I am not particularly comfortable in thrift stores given my unfortunate history of growing up poor, and that being the only option and being teased about it.

Going forward I think I can stick to my list and fill out my wardrobe with the “essential” items bought at the highest quality and lowest price point I can manage, which means mostly thrift stores.  Then hopefully I won’t feel as compelled to shop because I will have a versatile wardrobe that meets my needs.

[bikeknit]

When I'm feeling frumpy, I try to follow this process:
1.  Sort through the clothes that I have.  Is there something that I'd enjoy wearing but it needs some minor alterations, buttons replaced, etc.?  Are there some items that I love but that need ironing and so have been sitting there not being worn?  If so, I put on the radio or a book on tape and get out the ironing board and spend some time getting things in shape.  In this process I also get rid of anything that just isn't working so it doesn't clutter up my closet.  And I do what many people have said here - make new outfits from stuff I have. 

2.  I think about what pieces will make what I have work better.  "I love this skirt but don't have a top to go with it.  A pair of leggings would work with this.  My black sandals are very worn and need to be replaced..."

3.  Then I go shopping at the thrift stores, a favorite consignment shop,  and perhaps a few other stores for new items.  I do have a couple of stores that I like and that have clothes that fit me well, so I do what I can to maximize their sales, etc. 

4.  If you enjoy shopping, perhaps finding a substitute for that would work.  Some consignment shops feel less downtrodden than many thrift stores and so may be more fun.  My Mom was an incredible sale shopper when raising a large family.  She now has a charity that she shops for - they need things like clothes to send kids to camp - and she gets her shopping fix along with her charitable donation. 

[brewer12345]

Is this exclusively a female thing?

[NinetyFour]

It is not an issue for this female (me).  Most of this thread sounds like a foreign language to me. 

[brewer12345]

It is not an issue for this female (me).  Most of this thread sounds like a foreign language to me.

Yep, not something I really get.

[Rural]

Is this exclusively a female thing?

Not quite. My brother in law does the exact same thing with guns. :-)

It's not a universal female thing, either. Give me a choice of a day of shopping or a root canal, and I'll want to know which tooth before I decide.

[savingtofreedom]

My dad has this issue too.  He loves shopping for tools and clothing deals.  I claim to get this compulsion from him.....

[frugteacher]

Used to be like this way with gadgets and toys. Over that. Just have to get to the point of being happy with what stuff you already own.

[dweebyhawkeyes]

I used to love shopping for cosmetics and shoes and books and art supplies..., etc. Now it's like pulling teeth.

Oh, and it's most definitely not a female thing. The men in my life are totally obsessed with art supplies, books, clothing, electronics, and all sorts of things. It's just individual preference.

[Skydog]

Substitute "clothes" for "records and CDs," and that's me to a T. I've always been an avid music recreational shopper since I was 13. (I'm 50 now.)

Sometimes it was hard to say if I was hitting the rekkid shops every day/week as an excuse to go for a bike ride or vice-versa, but the result is a basement full of music artifacts--many near worthless, but plenty of rare, OOP items that have already netted me $3-4K on the 'Bay over the last couple months since finding this blog. My gf thinks I've been possessed by aliens but is generally supportive and gets that I'm in the mode of offloading "stuff" rather than acquiring more.

PS: Still doing the bike rides. :-)

[Gerard]

I was going to reject this idea, but I gave myself some time to consider it.  I suspect you are right and I am trying to change that.

This is a really badass/grownup approach and I bet it'll get you farther than any individual tip we can come up with.

[psychomoustache]

Shopping - Love It. MMM has ruined it somewhat - I feel a whole lot more the pinch of guilt and the imbecility of the actions (sometimes). I agree that I can be easily influenced - but certain emotions trigger me too (disappointment, anger)

Not an excuse at all - just I am getting better at noticing the triggers, I hope.

[Mr.Macinstache]

Now I cannot pull the trigger on buying new stuff because I already have stuff and don't really need new stuff.   But I want new stuff!  :)  Cannot figure out if this conundrum is good or bad.  I think it is good.

[2ndTimer]

I love shopping.  I just do it all at thrift stores, Grocery Outlet, Habitat for Humanity, salvage stores and the Half-Price Books Outlet store.  There is nothing more fun than taking the Hub to the library book sale and telling him to knock himself out.

[Breaker]

I think that men shop just as much.  Just not for clothes.  Tools, guns, electronic gadgets, that's what a lot of men buy.

My problem is not clothes shopping or the lack thereof.  It is stopping occasionally to pick up ready made food for dinner.  The last couple of nights I just did not want to cook and really had very little in the house that I could just eat without fuss.  OTOH, most of the fast-food pre-packaged or easy pick-stuff is neither good for my waist or my wallet.  I ended up eating cold cereal. 

Tonight I have a 4:00 meeting with a financial advisor and a 7:00 book club meeting.  Somewhere in between I will need to fix something to eat.  No running by In and Out.

[uspsfanalan]

My weakness is bikes and bike related accessories. I'm afraid that I've transitioned some non-mustachian spending to still spending way too much money but just in categories that would theoretically save money. I love looking at LED lights, more efficient fridges, winter bike gear... all of it. Then I realize, I just want to buy something and I'm using a MMM/ERE interest as an excuse. It's stopped me on more than one occasion from buying something I didn't really need or want that badly.

I think I may need to try a buy nothing month and see how it goes. I think I've got a pretty sweet bike set up now so I should be able to cool it with the buying crap routine.

[minimustache1985]

I know what you mean, although I'm also happy to peruse and not purchase for the most part.

1) I've started suggesting walks when my mom wants to hang out, she's the #1 influence of me going to a store, failing that:
2) We'll go to a consignment home decor store where I look for eventual ideas, but the odds of me pulling the trigger on getting something are insanely low
3) I shop for others- H hates shopping so me finding something for his sister for Christmas scratches my shopping itch and makes him happy he didn't have to do it (ETA I'm still frugal with this, and probably save us $ over H shopping for his family)
4) Grocery shopping I spend more time perusing, seeing what is on "managers special" and googling recipes to see if it's something worth me trying

[Kimchi Bleu]

The problem with retail is that consumers have forgotten the golden rule:  buy the best quality pieces you can afford.  A good quality jacket, pant, skirt will last for years if taken care of.  Trendy clothes today don't last very long and the cost savings go out the window if you have to constantly replace items. 

Once you have the basics you can then add some fun pieces.  Hit up the local consignment store and Goodwill to round out your wardrobe.  Colors come and go seasonally but you can never go wrong with neutrals.

[soccerluvof4]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QK8mJJJvaes

Good Laugh! I remember that well.....

I never was a big shopper and when it comes to food i continue to like the challenge in beating my budget.  With clothes there are so many good thrift shops these days I really have no reason to shop anywhere else.  Even my kids like to shop at the thrift stores now to find things not everyone else is wearing as as fast as there growing it makes it easier for them to still have nice things and yes i said nice things.