A SAHM/Early Retirment Epiphany

[jscott2135]

I always wanted to go back to work after I had my two boys.  To be honest, I'm not always the biggest fan of staying at home with my two little ones, even though I love them dearly.  I always figured once they were born I would go back to work, and seriously considered it.  But the other day I was visiting some family and at 8am on  Tuesday was enjoying a mimosa sitting in a hot tub watching my two year old explore the magic of bubble in a hot tub.  The sun was out, the birds were chirping and the neighborhood was silent because everyone was off slaving away at jobs.  And it hit me.  WAIT wth did I ever want to go back to work?  SAHM may not always be glamorous or even easy, but I'd sure as hell like to have more days playing in hot tubs or going for walks or going fishing, than turning in reports.  Not judging working moms or dads either!  I never thought I'd commit to this or that it would be for me.  But it made me reflect on how conditioned I was from a young age to work work work.  How important it was to have a job with a fancy title, and benefits and climb the ladder etc.  3 years after I quit and I battle some of that thinking every day.

So anyone else out there have any early retirement epiphanies/SAHM/SAHD epiphanies? I think this kind of thinking will be a big hurdle for dh when he finally decides to join me in early retirement bliss.

[Cheddar Stacker]

Hot tub mimosas at 8 am, love it. I know my wife has one of those occasionally on play dates with the kids (including today), but I've never heard of one in a hot tub. Nice work.

I'm ever so slowly showing my wife the light. I know it's hard to be a SAHM, but it's even harder for the entire family to have 2 working parents. I think she's starting to come around to the idea of not going back at all rather than her part time plans, but she's still holding on. I'm ready for the walks, fishing, cleaning spit up, changing diapers rather than what I'm doing right now, but I've got at least 5 more years before that's a reality.

Congrats on your early retirement!

[soccerluvof4]

Im in ER and My wife still works part time for our own biz. I really 2 years wanted to be done with it all but it makes sense expecially if she really wants to do . Health insurance and all.  We have 4 kids so I look forward to the summers playing Soccer with them and just hanging and everynow and a then I say to myself maybe I should go work for someone else but I slap myself and say "are you nuts!". What were doing is working for now and I answer alot of questions from the office via email with the employees but the thought of going back in there nauseates me.  Burned out and hate it. So for now will take the checks. 3 years though we agreed DONE!  I want to get on with spending more time with my wife.

[Gray Matter]

If you're in the right job, it sometimes involved mimosas and hot tubs as well (probably not at 8 am, though).

[MayDay]

I have not totally reached the point of being done working, but a lot of that is because my h currently hates his job, and it know if I worked, that would be fewer years that he has to work.  Luckily even though he is miserable right now, he encourages me not to do anything I wouldn't enjoy. 

I do think that once both kids are in school full time I will want to work in some capacity to get out if the house.  This is in part because of WINTER.  I feel no need to work during spring, summer or fall.

I experimented last year with doing gardening work for pay for a few little old ladies.  I love gardening, but it wasn't nearly as satisfying to work in someone else's yard.  And even doing five hours a week was an annoying childcare juggle.  The money didn't seem worth it.  Maybe I will feel differently when the kids are older and not so needy. 

This year I want to pick up a farmers market gig, but with making minimum wage and the driving (the nature of farms, lol, is that they aren't in biking distance) and the childcare juggle, again it doesn't seem worth it, even though the work itself is fun. 

So I try to balance not hurrying the children to grow up, as I know these years will fly by.  With being sooooo tired of feeling like my day is a revolving door of dress small people, wipe butts, feed small people, clean up kitchen mess, clean up toy mess made while I was cleaning up kitchen mess, repeat, repeat, repeat.  (And yes I am teaching them to help clean up, but that is actually more work than doing it myself!).

[ch12]

I always wanted to go back to work after I had my two boys.  To be honest, I'm not always the biggest fan of staying at home with my two little ones, even though I love them dearly.  I always figured once they were born I would go back to work, and seriously considered it.  But the other day I was visiting some family and at 8am on  Tuesday was enjoying a mimosa sitting in a hot tub watching my two year old explore the magic of bubble in a hot tub.  The sun was out, the birds were chirping and the neighborhood was silent because everyone was off slaving away at jobs.  And it hit me.  WAIT wth did I ever want to go back to work?  SAHM may not always be glamorous or even easy, but I'd sure as hell like to have more days playing in hot tubs or going for walks or going fishing, than turning in reports.  Not judging working moms or dads either!  I never thought I'd commit to this or that it would be for me.  But it made me reflect on how conditioned I was from a young age to work work work.  How important it was to have a job with a fancy title, and benefits and climb the ladder etc.  3 years after I quit and I battle some of that thinking every day.

So anyone else out there have any early retirement epiphanies/SAHM/SAHD epiphanies? I think this kind of thinking will be a big hurdle for dh when he finally decides to join me in early retirement bliss.

It takes bravery and patience to be a SAHM. I waver between wanting to be a SAHP like Mr. and Mrs. MM or working as a consultant in a different city every week with my husband watching the kids. I only started working a matter of months ago, but I'm already addicted to getting a paycheck. It is so nice to have my own money, but there's zero chance that I'd have time for kids with my current job and schedule. Women face the dueling pressures to be a perfect mom, with a clean house and perfect children, while at the same time they are asked to climb the corporate ladder, which is a hard won right. It's frankly exhausting.

Enjoy your mimosas.

[OldDogNewTrick]

I have not totally reached the point of being done working, but a lot of that is because my h currently hates his job, and it know if I worked, that would be fewer years that he has to work.  Luckily even though he is miserable right now, he encourages me not to do anything I wouldn't enjoy. 

Okay, I'm brand new to this mustachian thing---but, excuse me, your weekday morning mimosa sipping  is paid for by a husband who is chained to a miserable job because he doesn't want you to do anything you wouldn't enjoy? Doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Don't get me wrong, I was a SAHM for 3 years when my second was born. Being a SAHM, done right, is hard work. A woman who abandons her career leaves herself vulnerable to the worst fate can throw.... spouses die, are disabled, or run off with younger women every day.

Okay--feminist rant over.

[nottoolatetostart]

That sounds AMAZING for so many reasons! First, I am alcohol deprived for 13 weeks and 2 more days until I have our second baby. Second, it sounds like a lovely moment, like the kind that you want life to just stand still in that wonderful glimpse of time to enjoy it forever.

I'm a working Mom and this has been a tough week work-wise. I definitely am rerunning the numbers on staying home and battle what to do every single day. It seems so freaking crazy that DH and I work this hard to only enjoy a few moments of rushing around in the evening to get dinner done, clean up, and relax for the hour or so before our toddler's bedtime.  I think being a SAHM is way harder than working....it's just trying to balance the two of them that really tips the scales.

So no, no epiphanies here...

[nottoolatetostart]

I have not totally reached the point of being done working, but a lot of that is because my h currently hates his job, and it know if I worked, that would be fewer years that he has to work.  Luckily even though he is miserable right now, he encourages me not to do anything I wouldn't enjoy. 

Okay, I'm brand new to this mustachian thing---but, excuse me, your weekday morning mimosa sipping  is paid for by a husband who is chained to a miserable job because he doesn't want you to do anything you wouldn't enjoy? Doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Don't get me wrong, I was a SAHM for 3 years when my second was born. Being a SAHM, done right, is hard work. A woman who abandons her career leaves herself vulnerable to the worst fate can throw.... spouses die, are disabled, or run off with younger women every day.

Okay--feminist rant over.

Wow. This thread took a totally different spin.

[Carrie]

I used to have a hectic career, but quit to SAH.  I love it and am working hard on our finances so that I'll never need to go back, and so that my DH can join me as soon as possible.

I do have skills and work a few hours from home, and I'd had intentions of going back to work when the kids are all in school, but I've changed my mind on that.  I don't want to ever go back full time.  There are too many things I'd much rather do now.  Hobbies, reading, spending time with the kids, cooking from scratch, managing our finances & frugal budgets.  I'm having too much fun. 

Of course, there are hard days every now and then, but most days are relaxed and pleasant.  I also can't imagine that I'd find much joy in having a stressful career added to rushed evenings.  Me being home makes everyone happier.

I obviously need to find some better friends so that I can enjoy a mimosa+hot tub in the morning(s).  :)

[ASquared]

Good for you :)  Enjoying the life.  I love it. 

I'm a (mostly!) SAHM.  I work a few shifts every quarter....just to keep some of my previous life skills.  But day in/out I'm home with the baby.  And I love it.  Wouldn't have it any other way. 

Very honestly though - to anyone that every wonders - it is HARDER to stay at home with a baby than to go to work every day!  (And I worked in a high stress, mentally and physically demanding position)  Seriously, for real, no doubt about it.  100% respect to all SAHM's out there!!

[Firefly]

Good for you! If I could, I would do it in a heartbeat! But it's VERY hard to say "no" to $100K a year when we still have student loans to pay and saving for a house. I personally never understood it when people say they would rather go to work than stay home with their kids, that it's less stressful to go to work. What's more stressful is having to change your work schedule around your kids schedule so you can still be a mom you want to be and spend time with your kids when they are awake while doing a full-time job somehow :). But on the other hand I am glad I have a flexible job and an option to work from home half a time and have unconventional hours. But if you can swing it financially - more power to you! And have a mimosa for me next time :)

[orcas50]

I have not totally reached the point of being done working, but a lot of that is because my h currently hates his job, and it know if I worked, that would be fewer years that he has to work.  Luckily even though he is miserable right now, he encourages me not to do anything I wouldn't enjoy. 

Okay, I'm brand new to this mustachian thing---but, excuse me, your weekday morning mimosa sipping  is paid for by a husband who is chained to a miserable job because he doesn't want you to do anything you wouldn't enjoy? Doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Don't get me wrong, I was a SAHM for 3 years when my second was born. Being a SAHM, done right, is hard work. A woman who abandons her career leaves herself vulnerable to the worst fate can throw.... spouses die, are disabled, or run off with younger women every day.

Okay--feminist rant over.

OldDogNewTrick: The comment about husband hating his job is from MayDay, different than the OP! Read carefully before you bash.

[Cheddar Stacker]

Okay, I'm brand new to this mustachian thing---but, excuse me, your weekday morning mimosa sipping  is paid for by a husband who is chained to a miserable job because he doesn't want you to do anything you wouldn't enjoy? Doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

OldDog you missed the mark here. Mayday's husband hates his job, but Mayday is not the one sipping mimosas. The OP with the Mimosa story is jscott who's husband loves his job if I remember correctly from another recent post.

Both sound like SAHM's, which is a HUGE job and I have much respect for both in supporting their family in this role right now whether it's temporary or permanent. They both deserve to be able to relax when they have the opportunity, and it clearly is a strong partnership if you can play to your strengths, get each spouse in a role that fits them best for now, and work as a team to raise yor family. I have great respect for my wife being a semi-SAHM right now, and if circumstances were reversed and our family decided she should be the one working I'd gladly take her place and be a SAHD. And you're damn right I'd have some mimosas.

[jscott2135]

I want so badly to respond to this thread tonight, but I'm feeling overly verbose and am confined to my tablet, damn. So I'll save it for the AM and quickly state my dh loves his job, the $10 champagne was paid for by me, we are a team my spouse and I, and my parents provided the oj since it was their house and hot tub I was enjoying free of charge...although I did spend 2 weeks helping them move into their new home so they wouldn't have to hire help, not sure if that makes me a failed feminist or not...guess I don't care;)  yes this thread took an interesting turn, My point was simply a snapshot in time of this wonderful moment I had with my son...it did more in 5 seconds than the three years before it in fully appreciating my semi and future financial freedom!  I can't wait to take him fishing on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, sports, hot tubs, sunsets...it's just cool to have the choice! Gnite for now fellow mustachians!

[Bookworm]

I've been having these epiphanies for years!  I NEVER thought I'd be a SAHM.  I went to college, got a degree, started a career.  And then at age 22 I had my first baby.  The first three weeks were a blur.  The next three weeks were a whirlwind of sheer panic as I realized that soon I was going to have to walk into the office and spend entire days without this little person who had instantly become as much a part of me as my right arm.  That baby is a grown man now, and I'm still home.  In much the same fashion that I suddenly realized that - wonder of wonders - I was meant to be a SAHM, I one day realized that - surprise! - I was also meant to homeschool my children.  My son is now an engineering student in his second year of college, and these days I'm schooling my youngest two through high school.

There are absolutely days when I'm nosing around on Facebook, reading about the impressive professional accomplishments of my high school classmates (I was an honor student, so just about everyone in my cohort went far in life), and feel deflated as I put another load of laundry in the washer and curse myself for choosing a "less challenging" and certainly less outwardly celebrated life path.  But it's where I belong.  And most days, I look at my life and know without a second thought that the SAHM life is an AMAZING life, full of freedoms and gifts that I would never have known otherwise.

[homehandymum]

I've been having these epiphanies for years!  I NEVER thought I'd be a SAHM.  I went to college, got a degree, started a career.  And then at age 22 I had my first baby.  The first three weeks were a blur.  The next three weeks were a whirlwind of sheer panic as I realized that soon I was going to have to walk into the office and spend entire days without this little person who had instantly become as much a part of me as my right arm.  That baby is a grown man now, and I'm still home.  In much the same fashion that I suddenly realized that - wonder of wonders - I was meant to be a SAHM, I one day realized that - surprise! - I was also meant to homeschool my children.  My son is now an engineering student in his second year of college, and these days I'm schooling my youngest two through high school.

There are absolutely days when I'm nosing around on Facebook, reading about the impressive professional accomplishments of my high school classmates (I was an honor student, so just about everyone in my cohort went far in life), and feel deflated as I put another load of laundry in the washer and curse myself for choosing a "less challenging" and certainly less outwardly celebrated life path.  But it's where I belong.  And most days, I look at my life and know without a second thought that the SAHM life is an AMAZING life, full of freedoms and gifts that I would never have known otherwise.

@Bookworm, I just had to say "thank you".  I needed to read this post today.  Me too, me too, me too, except my children are aged 4 through 10.  Still a long way to go at a job that brings in no income and other people can't even imagine why you do it. 

@OldDogNewTrick, Choosing to stay home and raise your children full-time is not an easy choice to make.  Those of us who stay home do so knowing that we are sacrificing our careers, our future earning power, and worry that we're setting a 'bad example' to our own children.  We also know that if our marriages go down the toilet that we are  likely facing a financial poo-storm.  We do know this.  We still believe the risks to be worth it.  You make your own, carefully weighed and thought out choices.  Please don't assume that the choices we make are done so in ignorance.  All parents (except the very very few who end up in the news for the wrong reasons) carefully weigh their options and make what they believe to be the best choices for themselves and their families.  Those choices will be different for different people.

@OP, Yes.  I see my life now as being something like early retirement.  DH and I between us fund the family dynamic that works for us - Instead of both working to be FI before we had children (not that it ever occurred to us!), we worked and saved so that one of us could stay home.  DH would have liked to do that, but pragmatics meant it was more sensible for me to stay home.  I didn't know if I wanted to or not - took the year maternity leave offered by my employer so I'd have the option to go back if being SAHM drove me nuts (as everyone predicted it would).  But I love it.  Take your foot-spas and martinis when you can!  It's not like you get any other form of employee bonuses, catered meetings, Christmas hampers etc.  And while I'm home I am doing the frugal-living side of things that require more energy than just 'not spending on crap' - like repairing my own washing machine - that wouldn't happen if we were both working and raising the children.

[MayDay]

I have not totally reached the point of being done working, but a lot of that is because my h currently hates his job, and it know if I worked, that would be fewer years that he has to work.  Luckily even though he is miserable right now, he encourages me not to do anything I wouldn't enjoy. 

Okay, I'm brand new to this mustachian thing---but, excuse me, your weekday morning mimosa sipping  is paid for by a husband who is chained to a miserable job because he doesn't want you to do anything you wouldn't enjoy? Doesn't sound like much of a partnership.

Don't get me wrong, I was a SAHM for 3 years when my second was born. Being a SAHM, done right, is hard work. A woman who abandons her career leaves herself vulnerable to the worst fate can throw.... spouses die, are disabled, or run off with younger women every day.

Okay--feminist rant over.

I think that is both harsh and off-base. 

1.  We made the choice for me to stay at home before the current job.  In fact we made a cross country move for this job because it was his dream job.  So since he hates it at the moment, should I run out and get a job?  How will that make things better?  Then we will both be working jobs we dislike, and on top of that be juggling childcare, housework, cooking, etc that I currently handle.  If I am working, H's stress will be much higher, per him. 

2.  The crap jobs come and go.  It isn't like he plans to just sit there and be miserable for ten years.  If it doesn't get better he will apply for other jobs within the company (in fact he is already nosing around for possibilities, even though they claim to be hiring to help him) or he will look outside the company.  So since he is unhappy at the moment, should I not do anything fun at home?  Oh crap, I am having a lunch play date today with a friend, no mimosas, but we will certainly have a delicious lunch and sit around have chat while the kids go play!  Should I cancel it because since DH is unhappy, I shouldn't have any fun?  That makes no sense. 

[Thegoblinchief]

On a tablet holding a sick kid, so I'll be brief, but I definitely had an epiphany this summer. For the first time, I realized that so much of the stress of having kids was the shuffle to/from school and daycare (even FREE daycare provided by family).

If I cut to weekends only and homeschooled, the $ balanced out and the whole family has been so much more relaxed ever since. I really enjoy having the time to focus on the kids, my hobbies, and now I'll have time to do gardening and a lot more house projects.

Bring home with kids is work but I don't understand the parents I know who are less stressed at work than at home.

[avonlea]

I am an independent thinker.  I am also a natural people pleaser.  Not a healthy combo.  I've made several choices in life, including being a SAHM, that didn't coincide with what family/friends/society said I should be doing.  With age/experience, it has gotten easier to not care as much that I am going against what others have conditioned me to value.  I still have occasional days where I second guess, though.  I think that's normal.

[foobar]

Because work isn't stressful. Whats the worst they can do? Fire you. Big deal. There are 100's of other companies out there.  I also have never had a boss who though it was fun to scream at you for 12 hours straight for a week. :)

Bring home with kids is work but I don't understand the parents I know who are less stressed at work than at home.

[OldDogNewTrick]

My bad, I apologize for conflating the two posts... it struck me as terribly insensitive to boast of early morning weekday drinking in a hot tub and having a miserable husband pay for it all not realizing those are different people.

I did the SAHM thing for 3 years. Baked all our bread, grew organic veg and herbs in the garden, took the babies every day to the library for storytelling time... some of the happiest moments of my life. But I cannot conceive of the notion of not returning to work. That would make me entirely dependent on my husband for EVERYTHING. Oh, BTW, true story, the rat left me for a much younger woman a few years later. It is my mantra and I pass it onto my daughters, never relinquish your independence and be an equal partner in your relationships.

I've just started this journey, finding financial and personal freedom by stepping off the consumerist hamster wheel. I've done the 'thing' thing, but unlike being a SAHM there are no sweet memories tied to it.

[MrsPete]

As a teacher, I'm home part of the year, working part of the year -- the schedule is a nice balance of mom time /work time, and that's why so many women take this job in spite of the low pay. 

The point:  I've done both.  Staying home is more relaxing (for mom and the kids), and it's much easier.  You're available to take care of things that need doing around the house, to drive the kids to activities, to have a good dinner on the table every night. 

However, now that I have a 17 and 20 year old, I'm also glad that I worked and brought home a paycheck all those years.  If I hadn't, braces, car insurance and college would've been a struggle.  I'm very glad that my girls won't begin their professional lives with debt -- the world's tough enough these days, and giving them that good start in life is priceless. 

For most of us, staying home is a financial trade-off:  It may mean our husbands working longer, or it may mean not being able to give the kids what you want to give them later -- later, when they cost more to raise. 

The point:  Consider both short-term and long-term goals as you make this decision. 

[Christiana]

Just recently I realized (after SAH for several years) that SAHM fits my skill set and interests far better than my work ever did. 

[teen persuasion]

All the different viewpoints are interesting!

I've apparently done this the opposite way.  I was SAHM for nearly 20 years, and now I'm working, albeit part-time.  DH is looking to get out of the workforce ASAP, he's burnt out.  He is the one who has recently had the epiphany - he has always had the belief that he'll just work forever and never retire, and always pooh-poohed my nudges for him to put money in retirement accounts.  (That is one drawback to being a SAHM - no access to a 401k and no wages of your own to save.)  Well, now that he can't wait to leave work, he's suddenly much more receptive to my discussions of all things mustachian.  Unfortunately, we haven't quite got a large enough stache.  Two to three more years of him working would probably be enough.  I plan to continue working as long as it is still fun, and to help convert IRAs to Roths slowly.

[Firefly]

OldDogNewTrick - thank you for explaining. I have to admit, when I read your first post my first reaction was "Oh please, get off your high horse!", but there more I though about it, the more I understood where you were coming from. I am on my second marriage. My first one left me in financial ruins to the point where I had to declare a bankruptcy. Luckily we had no kids together. Because of my first failed marriage, I went back to school (put myself through school while working full-time) and now have a career making good money. But, boy do I wish I could stay home with the kiddos! If we were in a better financial shape I absolutely would! Because there is one more thing my first marriage taught me - I am stronger than I think, and I can get back up  and be on top in any situation. Of course, there is never a guarantee that any marriage will work, but I know how to protect and take care of myself now. To me - this is not relinquishing my independence, regardless of whether I am working or staying home with the kids.

[jscott2135]

OldDogNewTrick - Glad you got off the consumerist hamster wheel, dh and I squandered what could have been an awesome nest egg while I was in my 20's.  We made almost 200k a year and ummm went on a lot of trips and had fancy dinners.  So its hard to get off that wheel and deprogram!  I got a kick our of your note last night, I totally knew you accidently confused our posts lol.  I told my dh that my mimosas only tasted good when they were seasoned with his tears of misery, and I would hence forth send him to work with a tear jar to collect them for me :D  True story though, he works for a company that was recently ranked by forbes as the #6 best place to work in America. (They have parties every Friday and you can drink the hand crafted local micro brews and wines at your desk etc etc, he gets so many crazy perks he LIKES getting up and heading in to the workplace:)  Now that I read your follow up response too I totally get how the SAHM experience would be soured by that kind of memories/experience.  And from one woman to another I'm super happy for you and pumped that even without that tool you are on a path to freedom and independence.   I know most don't approach marriage/kids like I did, but I waited  until 7 years into marriage to have kids because of exactly the kinds of things you were talking about...it scared me to death, the idea of staying home, giving up career, depending on someone only to have them throw everything away! If I ever have a daughter she will hear the same mantra btw!

[jscott2135]

homehandymum  - I like early retirement better than SAHM :D  A - because I had a career but B - I'm fairly certain I won't be going back now.  I think I did need the epiphany though, because I had been waffling about it for so long!  What's really interesting is I meant this thread as a way to celebrate early retirement but I should know that purely by putting the label out there of SAHM, it really touches on a sensitive and hotly debated topic.  After being a career addict for so long and now being home, I just have mad respect for any one regardless of their choice, because having kids is hard regardless of the chosen path! I wonder if I was a guy and had posted this if there would have been different feedback...something for a different thread I suppose!  And congrats to those of you have found peace with your paths!

[jscott2135]

If you're in the right job, it sometimes involved mimosas and hot tubs as well (probably not at 8 am, though).

Yeah, If I could get a paycheck for that, that would be GREAAAAT!

[golden1]

I have had a weird career/life path which suits my personality I think.  I worked for 7 years, became pregnant and went back to school to start my masters degree, had two babies, was a SAHM for 8 years while slowly working on my masters, and then returned to work and have been working for 3 years. 

Being a SAHM was great in a lot of ways, although it has it's negatives.  I loved having that time with my kids and I do miss it now in many ways.  The first few years or being a SAHM with two babies was very hard and I honestly don't know how people who both work do it - the sleep deprivation is rough.  I probably would have had a nervous breakdown trying to juggle everything and it is still hard with two older kids (now 11 and 9).  I did hate not having a paycheck and towards the end when both kids were in school, I felt a little aimless tbh. 

I feel like it was my "training" for retirement, and I think what I learned is that I will most likely work part time or have some volunteer gig after I "retire" because I tend to better with structure in my life. 

[lifejoy]

You are living my dream! :)

[jscott2135]

I've been having these epiphanies for years!  I NEVER thought I'd be a SAHM.  I went to college, got a degree, started a career.  And then at age 22 I had my first baby.  The first three weeks were a blur.  The next three weeks were a whirlwind of sheer panic as I realized that soon I was going to have to walk into the office and spend entire days without this little person who had instantly become as much a part of me as my right arm.  That baby is a grown man now, and I'm still home.  In much the same fashion that I suddenly realized that - wonder of wonders - I was meant to be a SAHM, I one day realized that - surprise! - I was also meant to homeschool my children.  My son is now an engineering student in his second year of college, and these days I'm schooling my youngest two through high school.

There are absolutely days when I'm nosing around on Facebook, reading about the impressive professional accomplishments of my high school classmates (I was an honor student, so just about everyone in my cohort went far in life), and feel deflated as I put another load of laundry in the washer and curse myself for choosing a "less challenging" and certainly less outwardly celebrated life path.  But it's where I belong.  And most days, I look at my life and know without a second thought that the SAHM life is an AMAZING life, full of freedoms and gifts that I would never have known otherwise.

Oh man, I can not agree enough.  I have those moments when I get career envy, but then I think, mehhh I'm going to go have a picnic in the woods, or go throw a crab pot off the pier and play an the beach...and I don't have to ask any ones permission...and that jealousy magically evaporates! So glad I'm not the only one that has those battles though :D

[Bookworm]

I've been having these epiphanies for years!  I NEVER thought I'd be a SAHM.  I went to college, got a degree, started a career.  And then at age 22 I had my first baby.  The first three weeks were a blur.  The next three weeks were a whirlwind of sheer panic as I realized that soon I was going to have to walk into the office and spend entire days without this little person who had instantly become as much a part of me as my right arm.  That baby is a grown man now, and I'm still home.  In much the same fashion that I suddenly realized that - wonder of wonders - I was meant to be a SAHM, I one day realized that - surprise! - I was also meant to homeschool my children.  My son is now an engineering student in his second year of college, and these days I'm schooling my youngest two through high school.

There are absolutely days when I'm nosing around on Facebook, reading about the impressive professional accomplishments of my high school classmates (I was an honor student, so just about everyone in my cohort went far in life), and feel deflated as I put another load of laundry in the washer and curse myself for choosing a "less challenging" and certainly less outwardly celebrated life path.  But it's where I belong.  And most days, I look at my life and know without a second thought that the SAHM life is an AMAZING life, full of freedoms and gifts that I would never have known otherwise.

Oh man, I can not agree enough.  I have those moments when I get career envy, but then I think, mehhh I'm going to go have a picnic in the woods, or go throw a crab pot off the pier and play an the beach...and I don't have to ask any ones permission...and that jealousy magically evaporates! So glad I'm not the only one that has those battles though :D

One of my favorite examples, and one of my go-to patterns of self-talk when I have one of those battles with myself, is the time my kids and I have been able to spend with my grandmother...because we can.  She will be 86 years old in May. Every Friday for the last two decades, we've driven to her house and spent a few hours with her.  There, instead of living a career life or sitting in a classroom, we've absorbed stories of the days when, as a child, she sneaked into the forbidden pasture on her daddy's farm and got chased by an angry bull until she was able to dive into a ditch and escape him, of when she ran away to Wichita (at 15!) and faked her age so she could become Rosie the Riveter and build war planes during WWII, of working in a soda fountain and meeting my grandfather, of experiencing the civil rights movement and Los Angeles in its golden years, of making a wild decision to move across the country and start a farm.  She's showed us her ration stamps from the war, saved every receipt for every purchase since the 1940s.  It's been an education, an adventure...a treasure.  I love SAHM Fridays. :)

[Firefly]

Bookworm - what a beautiful story! Great gift to share with your kids!

[Nords]

So anyone else out there have any early retirement epiphanies/SAHM/SAHD epiphanies? I think this kind of thinking will be a big hurdle for dh when he finally decides to join me in early retirement bliss.

I used to have a three-minute standup routine on why raising babies was easier than taking care of admirals, yet so similar.

You might say that I never quite found the right audience for those punch lines.