Alright, but none of this back and forth is addressing the issue the OP brings up (it's just demonstrating the problem).
Honestly, I don't really know how I feel about engaging with OP's issue, because I read it as a completely non-controversial statement that no one can disagree with, ("Why can't we get along?") but it is paired with a giant helping of ill-informed (at best) or disingenuous (at worst) statements. I feel like engaging with the first part can only be done in truisms ("Yes, we all should work harder to understand each other") that then go on to lead credibility to the ill-informed or disingenuous parts.
I'll expand on what I take issue with below:
"Right now, our media as a whole and many other people are so caught up in trashing Donald Trump and anyone they disagree with that we can't have a reasonable and open discussion without getting mad and defensive."
Donald Trump is an extremely petty, unfocused, egotistical individual who tells outlandish lies and picks fights with the media on a nearly daily basis. No one who pays any modicum of attention would disagree with this. It is
extraordinarily disingenuous to hold his critics and the media responsible for the fact that honest political discourse is difficult. I cannot stress that enough. He tells not just run-of-the-mill political half truths, but massive lies that tear at the fabric of some of our most prized institutions. Like when he repeats over and over that 3 million people voted illegally. When
89% of Republicans approve of Trump (per the latest Gallup pole), it is hard not to come to the conclusion that conservatives just don't value honest political discourse very highly.
"It seems like racism has become a default accusation if you disagree with someone."
In the main, it is wrong to dismiss charges of racism from the left as code for, "I disagree". While there are certainly some people who will cry racism on everything and anything, most of the accusations that gain traction and attention stem from something that is demonstrably racist. For example:
- Congressman Steve King's white nationalist rhetoric has, until extremely recently, gone relatively unchallenged by his Republican colleagues
- The Republican legislature of NC used racial voting data to pass five voting restrictions that disproportionately made it harder for blacks to vote. This is a fairly non-controversial conclusion. It is the conclusion reached by the 4th circuit court, and the Supreme Court balked at hearing the appeal.
- President Donald Trump routinely referred to a natural born American judge as a "Mexican", and used his racial background to claim he couldn't give a fair ruling.
- Prior to the election, the President spread grossly inaccurate, anti black propaganda that cited completely made up statistics painting blacks as a menace to whites
The narrative that Republicans are behind on race relations did not materialize out of nowhere.
"(Obama) didn't do much of anything to reduce racism and help us be all one people (if anything, he was divisive)."
I disagree. The Fair Sentencing Act of 2010 reduced drug sentencing disparities that were legislated in the 1980s. His DoJ prioritized Federal prosecution of marijuana crimes. Bias in the judicial system and draconian drug laws are responsible for breaking up many black families and widening racial inequalities. Moves like that may take a while to show up, but they will show up eventually.
To the Trump administration's credit, they've shown willingness to do more on criminal justice reform as well.
The Obama DoJ also ordered a review of policing Ferguson Missouri, which exposed some really nasty stuff, and gave us all sorts of great data that can be used in the national discussion of police/race relations.