Let's talk about work-life balance

[Wlb]

I'm 6 months into my first career job after college and I'm feeling conflicted.  I'm being paid well and I'm being recognized for my good work.  However, I've come to realize the work-life balance here is really poor.  There isn't much hope that it'll get any better either.

My typical workday looks like this:

6:00am-7:20am: wake up, eat breakfast, wash up.
7:20am: leave for work
8:30am: Arrive at work
30 minutes for lunch mid day
around 5:30-6:30pm: Leave work
7-8pm: Arrive home
7/8-10pm: Make and eat dinner, decompress for an hour, hopefully get in some exercise
10pm:Online meeting until 11-11:30pm to sync up with colleagues 12 time zones away.  I mght get a call at 9 or 9:30 to get on earlier.
11pm-12am.  Wash up and go to bed.


I really hate the late meetings.  I usually attend them 2-4 times a week.  It makes it difficult for me to make plans with others in the evenings since I need to be home before 10 so often.  And the meetings can be on sunday nights, too.

We have a close of business meeting at the end of each day, and I might be FIRE'd already if I had a dollar for every time I've heard someone say "I'll work on X when I get home so it's ready for the meeting tonight".  It sounds like if I stay long enough my work week will be 100% devoted to work.

I do get paid overtime for the late meetings, but I'm starting to feel it's spoiling my evenings.  I don't mind working overtime at the end of the day if it's necessary sometimes, but I wish when I left work I could check out mentally until the next morning.  The job is in consulting, so my job location changes every few months.  I have little control over the length of my commute; I could be working from home, traveling an hour or traveling cross-country on the weekends and staying in a hotel.  The one saving grace is that I will always work from home on Fridays and there are no night calls on Fridays either.

So because of these factors, I've been thinking of looking for a new job in the public or non-profit sectors.  If I work for the government, nobody over in India will have have the security clearances to work with me after all :)  At the same time, I feel like I'm being a complainypants and I should just toughen up.  If I can bear it and move up I can save faster than at a less demanding job that pays less.  Then again, I might have more energy and enthusiasm and perform better if I can get the me-time I need at night.

Where are the corporate jobs in the private sector where the HR reps really mean it when they say the company focuses on work-life balance?  What is the work-life balance like at your job and how do you feel about it?  Obviously different people have different priorities here;  I still don't think I'm working as hard as your typical ER surgeon.  Since I haven't experienced enough variety in working environments, I'm interested in hearing the perspectives of others.

[CarDude]

I think I'd have a hard time with any job that asked me to check in 4 times a week for 1.5h at 10 PM on top of full time hours.

[HappierAtHome]

I work for the public sector (albeit in a different country) and generally the work life balance is good. Most people leave on time. You're encouraged to take your holidays.

My friends working in the private sector tend to have schedules that make me cringe... but then again, they're also generally ten years older than me and in fairly senior positions compared to the average employee. So I don't know if their experiences are typical.

[B L I S S]

I'll actually be going into consulting this summer too. Though, this firm claims they offer great work life balance.
I plan to rack up enough cash to make it worthwhile until I leave, whenever that may be. What kind of consulting do you do?

[McCanuck]

I found that getting a variety of work experiences while you are young builds job security over the long term.  Public sector jobs offer great quality of life but it is a bit scary if you lose your public sector job.  These skills are not always transferable nor highly valued in the private sector.

[GoldenStache]

Tough it out for awhile.  Put most of the OT funds into a retirement account, print the balance out every few weeks and put it above your computer. You can sit back and stare at that during your late meetings.  I think most people on this site would wish they saved a little bit more at your age.  Can you shorten your commute? 

[brewer12345]

Consulting sucks donkey dick as a lifestyle, no doubt about it.  This will not be a long term proposition.  Suck it up, save as much of the cash you are earning as possible, learn as much as you possibly can, and plan to be on to your next (hopefully less grueling job) by the 3 year mark.

[MayDay]

The nighttime meetings suck, no doubt.  I used to work (as an engineer) with a team that was half in the US, half in Taiwan.  We occasionally had night meetings to accommodate the Taiwan team, but luckily it was more like weekly than daily. 

My main question is, do you really need to work so many daytime hours?  Are you being as efficient as possible?  The night meetings will suck no matter what, but in my experience they suck less if you can work a shorter day to compensate (or if you I need to be in the office for face time, can you take a longer lunch and go for a walk/hit the gym/whatever)?

[chopper41]

I was in the same position as you about 12 years ago.  Are you in IT (functional/technical), working for a big 5?  Are you trying to retire quick?  If so, I would suck it up for a couple of years, bank the hotel/airline points, and then go independent.  I've been independent for the last 5 years.  I make more than double my old salary and I get to pick which gigs I want to apply for.  I have a family now, so I only apply for contract jobs that will work for my family (i.e. work from home).  On the other hand...if you're not trying to retire super quick, then there is no reason to be stuck at that job, unhappy, with no life.  You should be able to find some type of job that gives you a better work/life balance.  Just start applying and see what happens.

[davisgang90]

I know folks in similar scenarios as you but they get to leave work early with the understanding they will do a couple hours in the evening.  So they may work 9-3 and then go hang with their sig other, have dinner etc. before they either do a little work or have a conference call.  That would be a better work/life balance if the sync with colleagues is that critical.

[NewStachian]

The litmus test for me when I was out of college was "Will this be something I'll be glad I did 5 years from now?". In other words, is this job a means to an end? If it's hard and tough, but you know it will be a great experience to look back on, it might be worth it. My first job (Navy) was insane hours, weekend duty, very little sleep, but was incredibly rewarding and didn't let me spend any money. So, I pooka'd it all away in investments to set me up for the future. It gave me great satisfaction to do this, knowing I was enriching my future, both with actual assets and the lessons I learned on the job. I have friends on Wall Street pulling in 250k+ a year, but they spend it all (somehow), order takeout every night and are in terrible shape. What do they have to show? Reduced life expectancy and a dependence on income to feed their glutton lifestyle.

Fast forward to now (I'm 30) - I'm married and like spending time with my wife. I have a job that's 40 hours a week that allows me to flex hours to other days if I want, work from home if I want, and work overtime for a little extra pay if I want. It's a great work balance, but the groundwork was set, both experience-wise and financially by the first job I had. Sure, I could make more at another job, but I'm meeting my FIRE goals quite well with this one because of everything I saved at my first job.

Bottom line is I wouldn't trade my Navy experience for anything, despite its complete lack of work-life balance at the time. It gave me both the perspective to enjoy this job and the cushion to make a lower-paying job financially feasible to achieve a better balance. And I get to tell cool sea stories.

[warbirds]

First- you have been in the workforce for six months- get over yourself princess.

That is meant only in jest.

There will always be something you don't like about any job- thats why we are all here.

I previously managed a 200 mil/year engineering effort based on the east coast with collaborative efforts in Europe and Australia.

You can have early phone calls with Europe and talk to them in the afternoon. Evening phone calls with Australia would happen between 6-8 eastern and happened pretty regularly.

Anyone that scheduled a 10:00pm meeting is an idiot. Also I wouldn't have anyone who is not a leader or decision make on such a phone call- 6 months out of school, you should be just learning company/industry fundamentals.

Speak up, ask about the meeting time and what else has been tried, ask why you are participating instead of submitting materials for others to review/discuss.

Spend your spare time finding a different job, that is a better fit and quit!

[hybrid]

My side gig has pretty much unlimited potential - PC work for folks and Mom and Pop businessses who want an IT pro to come to them rather than deal with some stranger at Best Buy who probably isn't all that good at his job. I stopped searching for new clients a few years ago because even though the money is good, my time is also important. There reaches a point when the money, even good money, simply isn't worth the time.

The OP needs to ask himself how much of his life he wants to throw at his work, and for how long. In the meantime, save as much as you can so you don't feel like you have to keep clawing up and up the company ladder. I stopped at a point several rungs up but with several more in front of me because it was such a good fit and the money was good enough. I've seen too many people chase really good money with dreadfully long hours and/or high stress that aren't any happier for it.

[Schaefer Light]

When do you play golf and go bar-hopping? ;).  Seriously, there's no way I could work that schedule for very long.  They'd have to be paying me well over $100k to put up with that for more than a year or two.

[Tyler]

This seems applicable.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/laidoff-man-finally-achieves-perfect-worklife-bala,35022/

Jokes aside, I work in product development and have had many late conference calls with Chinese factories, so I totally sympathize. IMHO, the key is to do this long enough to pad your résumé with international experience, but not so often that is always expected with no personal boundaries. Easier said than done, of course.

I once got a peek at a client's calendar (he's an engineer at a large well-known company) and he had seven nights a week booked from 8 to 11 for Asia calls. Brutal. No way in hell I'd submit to that.

[alphalemming]

I'm a former consultant myself and in general, the worklife balance isn't going to be great.  However, it is an excellent opportunity to gain a ton of experience, see how different industries/companies operate, and establish a solid basis for future jobs.

Also, the compensation should be quite good and since your travelling a lot, your expenses should be reduced.  This is a great opportunity to really super charge your savings, when you're younger, and have time for this to work for you.

[Rebecca Stapler]

It sounds like some of this is adjusting to the "real world" -- the reality of working a full time job, plus working more hours on top of that. It does sound like a grind, but if you are gaining valuable experience, being paid well, and recognized for your work, I would keep doing it until you feel you've learned all you want to learn there. The key for me would be to maximize my savings so I wouldn't need to rely on a 50-hour-per-week job for too long. It really expands your options once you have money working for you.

What's the career trajectory for you in this job? Is it the kind of job that they would expect you to be in forever, or is there a somewhat clear ladder for you to start moving up the chain? (although, I suppose that might involve more hours or at least the same number of them).

[Fonzico]

FWIW, the best decision I ever made was quitting my high stress, long hours, decent pay-but-not-enough-for-the-sacrifices job, before I really got the tangible benefits from it, aside from the year of experience. My husband asked me the other day if I would have stayed there had they paid me double, and I thought about it for a while, and the answer was still no. There are other jobs. They will pay you money. You can still retire early.

In your shoes, I would stick around for long enough that it looks okay on a resume (bare minimum 1 year) and get the experience you can from it. 3-5 years of wasted life is just not worth it for whatever pay advantage this would constitute over your other options, IMHO.

Obviously this is a personal decision based on your own value-judgments, and based on the other responses, many people disagree with my assessment, and that's okay too, their value-judgments are different from mine.  But I don't think that this sort of environment is usual for someone at your experience level/wage level, and putting up with it is not analogous to "getting used to the real world". And especially if the future prognosis looks even worse? It's not like you're putting in your dues so you can reap the benefits later.

[horsepoor]

I didn't see a previous poster mention it, so... what is up with your commute?  Looks like it's 2.5 hours per day??  Any way to cut this down and gain two hours for yourself each day?

[alphalemming]

I did consulting for 6 years, really enjoyed it, and learned tons, which has allowed me to progress nicely in my career.  When my kids were born though, I took a significant paycut and left so that I didn't have to travel, and spent a year as a stay at home dad.  If it makes you miserable, then stay long enough where it looks reasonable on your resume and move on, otherwise look to see how it can get you closer to your retirement and career goals.

[piffle]

I'll actually be going into consulting this summer too. Though, this firm claims they offer great work life balance.
I plan to rack up enough cash to make it worthwhile until I leave, whenever that may be. What kind of consulting do you do?

I've never seen any consulting company that has a good work/life balance and I've worked for a few, and had friends at many others.  If you are an employee of the consulting company you are judged on multiple factors.  Quality of work for the client is of course important.  But the consulting company itself makes more money the more hours you bill, so they want you taking as many hours as possible.

The way around this, as I saw mentioned above, is to go independent and call your own shots.  I did that in 2006 and it has been the best career decision I've ever made.  You have to be a star or in a very high demand niche to make this work right, in my experience though.  And have a good level of experience (preferably 7-8+ years).

EDIT:  I should say that this is IT consulting specifically.  YMMV.

[Tyler]

I've worked at several consultancies and also several in-house engineering teams in companies large and small. In my experience, work/life balance is driven more by company culture and specific industry than by the consulting/dedicated demarcation.

My worst work/life balance was at a huge company making very high technology consumer electronics. 80-hour weeks to stay on arbitrary schedules driven by managers far removed from their own decisions was way too common. My close second worst was at a small private company that made iPhone accessories - fantastic people, but I was in China every few weeks.  My best work/life balance is at my current job at a small design consultancy. The owner has a knack for only bringing on good clients who don't pile unrealistic requirements, and he's not afraid of firing a bad client. You still have busy bursts, but compared to other experiences I can't complain.

[homehandymum]

The transition from studying to working full-time is always sucky, although it does sound like very long hours.

I'd stick there long enough to get a good reference, and milk the job for as many benefits as you can.  Those certificates they're paying for, etc.

Work-life balance doesn't necessarily mean that it all has to be balanced NOW - life has different chapters to it, and there's something to be said for saying "this is the chapter where I work insane hours so I can get experience, work contacts, the right bits of paper, and lots of money stashed away".  The chapter will end - you won't be doing this for your whole life :)  (or, if you are, you're doing it wrong).

[piffle]

I've worked at several consultancies and also several in-house engineering teams in companies large and small. In my experience, work/life balance is driven more by company culture and specific industry than by the consulting/dedicated demarcation.

My worst work/life balance was at a huge company making very high technology consumer electronics. 80-hour weeks to stay on arbitrary schedules driven by managers far removed from their own decisions was way too common. My close second worst was at a small private company that made iPhone accessories - fantastic people, but I was in China every few weeks.  My best work/life balance is at my current job at a small design consultancy. The owner has a knack for only bringing on good clients who don't pile unrealistic requirements, and he's not afraid of firing a bad client. You still have busy bursts, but compared to other experiences I can't complain.

You are very lucky because that is extremely rare, in my experience.  As an independent I can push back on unrealistic expectations, but as an employee of the consulting company that is not generally possible.  The Boss gets paid based on your utilization, so he's going to push you as hard as he thinks he can.  Especially anyone that has a few years experience or less, who will be pushed to ridiculous extremes if they are not on the bench.

Also very rare in my world (ERP consulting) to see a consulting company turn down work, as long as the billing rate is sufficient.  I have worked at clients that were absolutely horrible, but the consulting company was in no hurry to get its people out.

[alphalemming]

A bit of a tangent, but related.  My wife is a dentist and it was very liberating for her to realize that she could turn down patients.  There are people out there (clients, bosses, co-workers) who will just create extra work, headache, and stress ... and the freedom to walk away from them is priceless.

[Thegoblinchief]

Fixing the commute will help a lot. I'd also ask/negotiate for an out of office lunch. Hit the gym then.

I draw the line at work/life when work impacts health and relationships. Before wife and kids, I worked really long hours and didn't mind, because it was physical labor largely outdoors. Sometimes I still miss getting paid to enjoy fresh air.

My DW nearly worked herself to death a while back because she took on way too much. Worked from home nearly every evening. Worked many weekends. That ended with an ambulance call due to a severe panic attack.

[aclarridge]

I think it greatly depends how much you're making. If it's significantly more than other jobs you could get, then it's probably worthwhile for a bit to gain experience and cash. You are young, you won't be able to do this forever, so might as well do it for a bit while you can and take it as a learning experience.

[Schaefer Light]

I'll actually be going into consulting this summer too. Though, this firm claims they offer great work life balance.
I plan to rack up enough cash to make it worthwhile until I leave, whenever that may be. What kind of consulting do you do?

I've never seen any consulting company that has a good work/life balance and I've worked for a few, and had friends at many others.  If you are an employee of the consulting company you are judged on multiple factors.  Quality of work for the client is of course important.  But the consulting company itself makes more money the more hours you bill, so they want you taking as many hours as possible.

This is precisely why I never want to work a job that pays for hours worked.  It's a huge disincentive to becoming more efficient at your job, which goes completely against my way of thinking.

[CU Tiger]

7:20am: leave for work
8:30am: Arrive at work

around 5:30-6:30pm: Leave work
7-8pm: Arrive home

So...you are commuting about an hour or hour-and-a-half (depending on traffic) each way. That is part of the problem right there. Unless you are biking that, in which case GO YOU! If you could move to be 5-10 minutes from work (or within biking distance) I think you'd find that things would be better. Yes, you'd have to move, which is a pain, but it would help give you back some of your time.

My advice is to move or look for a new job.

[Albert]

Sometimes it pays off to work extreme hours for few years while young. A friend of mine started out as an auditor in one of the big four accounting firms. It was often 80 h weeks and working well past midnight, but her salary went from about average for the place (not in US) to 4.5x that in just four years. After that she found a less stresfull job, very unlikely it would have happened without that entry in the CV.

I used to work a lot more (60h average) than I do now during grad school and postdoc. Just today I realised that we have 7 public holidays during the next 9 weeks. :)

[dcheesi]

Until very recently, my job was strictly 9-5 (actually 9-6 with an hour lunch) M-F. But we just went through a major "crunch time" to finish  the release of a brand new flagship product on an unrealistic customer deadline. Lots of nights and weekends for over a month.

Even though that release is finished, what I'm noticing is that the expectations have changed. For one thing we're continuing to make unrealistic promises to keep the customer happy, which leads to mini-crises every time something comes up. And now the managers think nothing of asking us to work on the weekend if that's when the info or third party fix comes in.

I don't mind doing a little extra when I can, but I'm concerned that we're seeing the beginnings of the sort of expectation-creep that leads to unhealthy work balance.

I've seen it happen on in individual basis, with a friend who likes to play "hero"; after a while, the heroics became just part of his regular work expectations, to the point that he couldn't even keep up with his official job duties.

[iwasjustwondering]

I have no work-life balance right now, but I am hoping it's temporary.  My job is all-consuming.  In the past month, I've set my alarm for midnight/2:00 am more times than I can count.  I'm going to get some sort of award for all of this intense, special effort -- it will work out to around $2,000.  The trade-off isn't worth it, but it does make me look good and help me keep my job.

I'm also teaching a university course this semester, which takes a ton of time.  My goal is to transition full-time into the university work in about two years.  So far, so good: I had an interview at Carnegie Mellon for a full-time professor gig.  Did not get the job, but I didn't want to move to Pittsburgh, anyway.  The good thing is that I'm learning that these jobs actually exist.  So I'm hoping to modify the work-life balance very soon.  :)

[dcheesi]

Maybe we all just need to move to France:

http://www.theguardian.com/money/shortcuts/2014/apr/09/french-6pm-labour-agreement-work-emails-out-of-office

[Insanity]

Being a consultant, commute is irrelevant since it does change every so often.  It is very hard to move around that frequently, but what should help is the limiting of the number of purchases :)

A couple of questions:
1) I know someone asked about salary, but I'd ask it another way: Is the salary you are getting paid higher than you could be getting elsewhere?  Figuring paid OT, your salary is much better (I will tell you that a friend of mine got married a year after graduating, he was on call one every three or four weeks and that week he got OT - yes even if he didn't have to respond.  The OT doubled his salary.  It significantly helped out his wife and he build a great stache and even though they are consumers they don't notice it).

2) Phases of life.  Someone mentioned this, but it is important.  Will you be better off earning the OT and varying work experiences (you will see that in being able to sell - which is part of consulting - is a great experience in all aspects of life. I suck at it even with consulting experience because I'm too honest and have a hard time saying no :) )

[lauren_knows]

I'm a government contractor in IT, and due to security clearances I don't take any work home (yay!).  They're also usually pretty strict on the 40hr/week schedule.

Work/life balance is very important to me after having a child.  So much so, that I cut back to 36hrs (Mon-Thurs) in order to be with my son more.  If work/life balance is grating on you, make a change.

[Capsu78]

What's funny for our situation is that we are sort of flipped.  My wife and I met on the corporate job (our manager wanted to can me, loved her- he was a prick but I still owe so much to him- fortunately he got canned first and it was my delightful pleasure to see him clean out his office!).  We had our kids and raised them with one of us always having a heavy travel schedule.  I bailed on corporate handcuffs 20 years ago, and have been 1099 ever since.
My wife is on her third F500 company and continues to thrive. 
We finally got the kids out of school, married off and settled in as responsible adults. We found ourselves empty nesters.  My wife gets a promotion opportunity to work world wide.  We asked the Work-life balance question- do we really want her flying over oceans for 9-12 days every month?  For us, no better time to do so.  So she faces the late night calls, getting up at 4AM for important ones, and basically logging on nearly every day.  FWIW, she loves it and I encourage to love it- until she doesn't. 
As for the original poster, your story sounds pretty intensive- I am so glad I spent 7 years out of college being the fully employed single guy, living in California, going to concerts, sporting events, skiing, sailing and having fun.  It is "out of my system" so to speak and that benefits a healthy marriage and successful parenting later on down the line.  I also missed out on that mismatched "bad first marriage" experience that is the source of so many MMM stories of financial misery.
I don't think it will ever be any easier on you to do the schedule you are now on, OP, but your calculus needs to be on the positive side of the "life don't suck" ledger. I would say "Toughen up, Buttercup!" if I were your Dad...however, if you don't have a life you would be confident in bringing to your 20 year HS reunion, I would change it up,too.

[frogstomp81]

I'm a merchant Mariner. I work 21-days on a ship followed by 21-days off the ship. The work part isn't great, but having 6 months off per year is worth it. 3 weeks out of every 6 with no requirements, or thinking about work. It's definitely not for everyone, but I enjoy it.

[Joel]

What's your career trajectory at this place?

I'm in audit at a big four. The job can be demanding and require extra hours and travel. But the trajectory of my career is straight uphill. You cannot beat raises of 6-10% each year. My personal goal is to stick it out 5-7 years until the point that I am no longer learning and no longer being challenged. At that point, I will look elsewhere and my experience and network will provide set me up for a job with hopefully higher pay, less travel, and less hours. But the grass is always greener on the other side. Keep challenging yourself, and see what happens. Working in consulting you may very likely have some opportunities come your way that you cannot pass up.

[LibrarIan]

Always remember that work comes first in 'work-life balance.'

[hybrid]

I'm a merchant Mariner. I work 21-days on a ship followed by 21-days off the ship. The work part isn't great, but having 6 months off per year is worth it. 3 weeks out of every 6 with no requirements, or thinking about work. It's definitely not for everyone, but I enjoy it.

What are your hours like when you are working, and what is the ball park pay for someone in your line of work?

Six months off and three week stretches sounds great, but I get the suspicion it's not all that different from my 137 days off when I count PTO, holidays, and weekends, plus a job that rarely goes beyond 9-5. Still, I can see the lure.

[Exflyboy]

A couple of thoughts.

1) You are a brand new employee and as such you are establishing your worth.. You need to show enthusiasm.. start pullng back in a few months, but do it so that your pulling back is not noticed.

2) Why doe sit take you so long to get out the house in the morning?.. When I had to leave for work at 5am I would get up at 4:35 with the coffee made from the night before.. slam in some toast and eat on the way to work.

Frank

[Zikoris]

2) Why doe sit take you so long to get out the house in the morning?.. When I had to leave for work at 5am I would get up at 4:35 with the coffee made from the night before.. slam in some toast and eat on the way to work.

Frank

I totally agree - the 1.5 hour waking up process, combined with 3 hours a day of commuting, take up most of OP's non-working non-sleeping hours. No wonder he/she is stressed! I'd recommend doing what you can the night before, OP - laying out clothes, getting lunch ready and waiting in the fridge, etc. Having everything ready to go makes a huge difference.

I wake up at 6:45 and leave home at 7:10. It takes me about 7 minutes to walk to work. I finish at 3:30 and am always in my apartment by 3:45 at the latest. I start bread if needed, rest for about 30-45 minutes and start dinner at 4:30. We eat at 5 when my boyfriend gets home, and have the rest of the evening free to do whatever - go to shows, work on projects, and read mostly. Go to bed around 11. It works well for us.

[sobezen]

Can relate to the OP challenges and concerns.  Recently changed careers from Wall Street to Silicon Valley.  Before my day was the following:
5:30-6:30 Morning prep including meal preparation. Too tired to do meal prep night before.
6:30-6:35 walk/dash to train station.
6:35-7:45 train ride/sleep
7:40-8 walk briskly to work
8-5 work like mad often skipping lunch, not taking breaks or using restroom.
5-5:23 run like hell hoping to catch train
5:30-5:45 wait for train if I missed it
5:50-7 train ride/sleep/crash
7-7:05 walk home
7:10-7:40 cook dinner
7:50-8:20 dinner
8:30-11:30 study/work
11:30-midnight prepare for next day.
You get the idea I spent FOUR HOURS PER DAY commuting and it was really hurting me; I did this for over one year.  By the way I am not in my 20s like the OP so youth is on your side.  During the year I did not take any vacation (I had four weeks+ unused) and I routinely too sick days to rest. I was stressed to the point of absolutely dreading getting out of bed and physically being at work.  I lacked sufficient quality sleep, exercise and I was super stressed to the point everyone including my boss observed and commented on it.  I decided my environment would not change, the workload would not change, there was no telecommuting practice, so for me I decided I could change my environment! 

Fast forward this is now my schedule:

5:30-6a morning routine
6-615a drive to work
620-740 exercise at on-site gym
740-750 change/walk to work
8-8:15 breaskfast
8:15 to noon work
noon - 1 lunch
1-5 work
5-515p drive home
530-6 rest unless attending night class, meeting friends or running errands
630-720 walk
730-8 cook dinner
8-830 eat dinner
830-10 study, read
10-1015 prep next day including meals
sleep until next day, rinse, repeat.

I now have three weeks of vacation which I am already planning to use.  My commute is a less than nothing and I participate in tremendous on-site benefits that maximize my limited time and resources.  This never happens in Wall Street because their sole goal is profits (at the cost of your health) and not focusing on employee productivity achieved through work-life balance.  Also there is a lot to be said about living closer to work.  However sometimes that is not an option and it is understandable temporarily. 

Since the OP is new in his career and at the company, he still needs to prove himself.  So, if you can try to stay until you reach at least two full years.  Save over 50% of your income and research the different retirement account options and get all the matches from work (also understand the vesting schedules). 

One key thing do your best to take care of your health.  Right now you are building up your frugality and anti-complainypants muscles.  I experienced similar career pains in my 20s while working and attending night school, but what helped me was focusing on small measurable goals that were directly tied to long term goals (changing careers, saving 50%+, consolidating accounts, learning how finances work, developing side income opportunities, etc).   Stay positive, healthy and focused. 

Your current adventure will only enrich your life and help you in the long term.  Take care and keep us posted.  Good luck!

[sleepyguy]

OMG, how are some of you surviving with these commutes/working hours?

Both my GF and I work from home about 2-3x per week.  I stroll in at 9 or 930 usually and leave by 5.  She comes in whenever she wants, usually 10am around and leaves 4pm, but logs in at night sometimes (maybe 1-2x a week) and works for another hr or so.  She makes about 2x what I do, but much more stressful job/deadlines etc.  We both have about 5 weeks/yr for vacation.

All in all, balance is very good and both of us do not want to climb the corporate ladder (I've turned down a promotion already because of too much travel and responsibility).  She may bite as they verbally offered her a regional controller position in a yrs time (too much stress imho, but pay would be another +30k or so).

[dude]

I work in the public sector and the thing I value about it most besides the pension is the work-life balance.  40-hour workweek -- no more, no less.  No weekends, no nighttime b.s.

I was on the USAJobs website the other day, and noticed that the government pays pretty damn well for IT people of all stripes (and employs them in all 50 states).  Might be worth looking into.

I am also a commuting idiot.  And it sucks (about an hour each way).  I live in the metro area and commute out (wife works in the metro area), but I really couldn't see myself living out in the 'burbs.  It'd be like slow death to me.  I prefer easy access to urban amenities, so I suck it up and keep telling myself I only have to put up with it for 5 more years . . .