Keep the peace with a minivan?

[Seradoc]

We have one child but are preparing to have a second.  This has made me consider logistics.

For our first child we enjoyed having my wife ride in the back seat with the newborn to aid in soothing.  We were not nearly as practiced at suffering the cries of a small babe at the time.

When I think of having a second child, I picture two car-seats in the back of our sedans and no room to fit my wife.  This eliminates the possibility for her to soothe the newborn.  We are more hardened to the cries of the current two year old, but I don't know if that translates to a newborn.

After that, I don't foresee a problem for many years.  Eventually the kids may need space between them if they aren't disciplined enough to leave each other alone on a roadtrip.



Does considering a minivan to alleviate general car-drama constitute an immediate face-punch fro such a small family?  I previously considered this to be an expensive luxury, but have started thinking of it as more of the "right tool for the job" lately.  This feels very stereotypical too.

[SC93]

I'm parcial to minivans, I've had atleast 1 since 1994 and sometimes 2-4 of them for business. We have 2 right now, just bought another used one a month ago. But, I think in a few months we are going to sell the one we just bought and buy a near new minivan because the lil woman doesn't like riding in my old vans but I want to take the van on long trips. She always wants to take her CRV and I hate that thing. So, I'm going to get an almost new or a new one so we can take it on trips. We go on several road trips a year. I can carry as many washers and dryers as I could if I had a pickup except in the minivan and my cargo is out of the weather. I can carry people or I can carry 1 washer, 1 dryer and 3 people, it just depends how many seats I want up. I'll never not have a minivan. I've had the expensive sports cars to be 'cool' but the real luxury is a minivan...... they ride so smooth. I say even if you have to sell 1 kid, buy a minivan :)

[ObviouslyNotAGolfer]

Buy a wagon, preferably a Volvo. I have a 91 Volvo 740 SE (turbo) sedan that I have owned since it was new--absolutely bulletproof, very low cost of ownership, extremely reliable, etc. It was a special edition and looks infinitely better than any minivan.

[nessness]

Buying a minivan just so your wife can soothe the newborn does seem pretty face-punch-worthy. That's such a short stage. You may get a baby who likes the car and doesn't need frequent soothing, and if not, you'd probably be better served by just minimizing car trips.

[Milizard]

It is a short stage. Your wife probably won't end up riding in the back. Get the minivan anyway.  They're great if you have a house and kids. Remodeling project? Will probably fit in the back. Baby gear? Will fit easily. Kids fighting? Separated.  Longer road trips? Comfy.  (My 2 boys were born with about the same spacing.)

[Kyle Schuant]

I tool around with my two kids (6 and 2) with a Yaris. We've driven interstate like that.

Don't blow through your personal budget and the world's carbon budget just because your kid's a bit of a whinger.

[EmFrugal]

Don't get a mini-van for two children, especially just to soothe an infant. You can always reach your arm back to comfort them. And for the record, I was able to fit in the middle seat between the car seats. It was tight but doable the few times I had to. I was able to safely buckle-up as well.

We made do perfectly well with our Honda Accord with two children in the back. My oldest was 2-1/2 when our second was born. We took 8 hour road trips in the Accord as well.

Only when we had a third and could no longer safely fit three car seats in a row (don't care what others say, three seats crammed together in no way felt safe to me) did we purchase a four year old Honda Odyssey.

I do love that van, but I only think it makes sense for families of five or more. If you know you will have three kids then it could make sense.

[Bucksandreds]

Get a minivan if you want one. Unless you are making under $50,000 per year or so. A minivan costs less than $5000-$10000 more than a car so you’re looking at about $1,000 more per year you drive it.  You’re probably already cutting $20,0000-$50,000 plus per year in expenses compared to the typical person. Be frugal about it. Get a great deal on a gently used one with high mpg. Enjoy your new minivan.

[CupcakeGuru]

I wouldn't buy it just to soothe the newborn. Two little kids in a regular car is fine.

However, in a couple of years you may want to think about it. We have 2 teenagers and take massive road trips about 7 times a year, 5 hours to 14 hour drive time. I also do 3 times a month scout outings and have several carpools set up for kids activities and outings. We bought the van new, before MMM (facepunch worthy). In a couple of years, you can think about buying a used minivan. I won't get rid of mine until the kids leave the house.

[Thegoblinchief]

I have three kids so easier to justify a minivan, and ours is super useful. Used minivans are cheap and the fuel mileage is rarely much worse than a large sedan or wagon of similar age.

For example, our 2000 Sienna gets real world mpg of right around 20mpg depending on how much highway driving is involved. Our 2000 Accord, worth about the same amount of money, only gets maybe 2-3mpg more.

We never did the sit in backseat with newborn though as mine usually slept like logs in the car.

A minivan is also far more useful for us, as I can haul hundreds of pounds of feed, bales of hay and straw, etc even with the kids riding along, all sorts of things we could never do with a sedan. I’m a huge fan of minivans, they’re arguably the most useful type of vehicle ever designed.

[inline five]

Buy a wagon, preferably a Volvo. I have a 91 Volvo 740 SE (turbo) sedan that I have owned since it was new--absolutely bulletproof, very low cost of ownership, extremely reliable, etc. It was a special edition and looks infinitely better than any minivan.

I have a '95 850 but this is horrible advice. The newer circa 2005+ minivans are light years ahead safety wise from my car and even more so yours, without a huge difference in purchase price. Plus they have much greater utility.

[Zamboni]

I was initially against getting a minivan. But now, you can add me to the list of people who will keep my minivan at least until my kids have grown up and moved to their own places.

Mine is 15 years old and has 150K miles on it. I probably use mine only about 2 times per month right now and I don't care. Not getting rid of it. Insurance and registration/tax are all together less than $300 per year on it (mostly because it is not worth much and is a rarely driven vehicle.)

It is great for moving things. We load it up with bales of pinestraw for the yard and I let my neighbor borrow it for theirs as well. I have used it to furnish two houses (one for me and one for a loved one who had a home fire) with Craigslist furniture. I bought and moved a used refrigerator with it. I bought and moved a used washer and dryer with it. Two weeks ago I bought a giant, 1000 pound rated squat rack with an olympic bar, curl bar, and full set of weights, bench, etc. . . . under $350 on Craigslist. . . worked for that, too.

It's great for long trips with 4+ people . . . my hound comes along too and her crate fits easily in the back along with all our stuff. It's great for camping (can sleep in the back in case of rain; I got an air mattress that fits back there perfectly.) It's just all around great.

And, people on the road treat you nicer, too! It's amazing how much more polite other drivers are to mini vans than other types of vehicles.

It is luxurious. Highly recommend.

[Schmidty]

I love my minivan!  They are so practical, I can't believe I never bought one before.  The ride is smooth and there is so much useful cargo space.   Gas mileage on my '05 Grand Caravan is around 20mpg, which isn't any worse than a former Ford Taurus I drove, or Ford Escape, and to be honest, my 2-door Honda Accord was only a tiny bit better, but rougher ride and so impractical for most everything.    Stow-and-go seats...  whoever thought of this is a genius.  The auto slide side doors are also very handy.

I will get some face punches here (bring 'em on!), but I don't have small children.  When my family goes somewhere, we take the minivan.  Three adults and the room is very nice, and it's a smooth ass ride.  I can fold down seats and fit tons of things in there, and have.  I'll be doing some clinical rotations this fall a few hours away, and I'll be sleeping in my minivan in my daughter's driveway as she's near the site, but doesn't have sleeping space for me.  My husband and I are planning a few quick roadtrips this summer and we'll be sleeping in the van to save on hotels. 

I bought her used and high miles.  I don't drive much, she's mostly driven for trips.  When we do go somewhere, there is plenty of space for everything.  I paid $1500 cash for her and she still drives like new, only thing not perfect on her is the headliner is missing. 

I'm not afraid, I'll say it....     I LOVE MY MINIVAN! and I don't have small kids!!!!   I'm still kicking myself for not having one before now, they are great!  Stigma be damned.

[ketchup]

Buy a wagon, preferably a Volvo. I have a 91 Volvo 740 SE (turbo) sedan that I have owned since it was new--absolutely bulletproof, very low cost of ownership, extremely reliable, etc. It was a special edition and looks infinitely better than any minivan.

I have a '95 850 but this is horrible advice. The newer circa 2005+ minivans are light years ahead safety wise from my car and even more so yours, without a huge difference in purchase price. Plus they have much greater utility.

'01 V70 here.  I'd much rather drive a station wagon than a minivan (mostly the height part of the equation; I hate being way up in the air truck/SUV-style), but I also don't have kids,  just dogs.  As far as utility, I was able to drive home with ten deer carcasses in the back and still see out the back window.

It's an option, for sure.

[Mississippi Mudstache]

I can't imagine having a minivan for 2 kids. We had a 2007 Prius for 2 kids and never felt like we needed more space. We even used the Prius for a few months when we had our third kid, but my wife eventually talked me into a Mazda 5, which might be considered a "microvan". It has sliding doors and 3-row seating, but not much more. We are now expecting our 4th child, so we will finally be looking into legit minivans.

By the way, for anyone thinking of a minivan for the additional cargo capacity: I added a trailer hitch to our Prius and our Mazda 5 and bought a used 4' x 8' trailer for $300. Both vehicles pull up to 1000 lbs. with ease. Best $300 I ever spent.

[protostache]

My wife and I are in the same situation as Seradoc, one almost-2yo and planning on a second. My wife rides in the back with our daughter whenever we go on a drive longer than an hour or so. My family lives 15 hours away and hers lives 2-3 hours, so we do a lot of long trips.

We both grew up with minivans and recognize the utility aspect. She grew up Chryslers that drove like a pickup, which she's not interested in at all. My family had Fords that, for the most part, drove like smaller cars. When we've test drove an Odyssey a few years ago she noticed that it was very car-like in handling, which mostly dispelled her of the notion that all minivans are like what she grew up with.

We've been thinking about a minivan for a long time and will likely trade either our 2016 Nissan Rogue or our 2009 Honda Fit for an Odyssey a few months before kid #2 is due to arrive. Right now there are zero (literally zero) certified pre-owned Odysseys in stock within 250 miles, which tells me something that when we're ready to buy there won't be any available either, and if there are they'll be essentially the same price as new.

(We're also planning on moving to a different house because, only after having getting pregnant with our daughter did we truly realize how terrible our house's floorplan is for raising kids, but that's a different thread.)

[NorthernBlitz]

Buy a wagon, preferably a Volvo. I have a 91 Volvo 740 SE (turbo) sedan that I have owned since it was new--absolutely bulletproof, very low cost of ownership, extremely reliable, etc. It was a special edition and looks infinitely better than any minivan.

Our Venza worked pretty well with two car seats in the back. My wife could fit between them for shorter trips (but she's pretty thin...no way I could do it).

If you're worried about space, you can also help your situation out with the seats you choose for your kids. The Radian car seats is pretty narrow. My first 2 kids are now 5 & 8 and they can squeeze into the Venza with a baby seat between them if they are in Evenflow Amp booster seats (but this probably won't help you for a few years). It was actually easier before my 5 YO went to the booster. The hard part about the booster seats is buckling them up because you need to click them in with the normal belt (not the 5 point which is far more accessible).

https://www.target.com/p/diono-radian-r120-all-in-one-convertible-car-seat/-/A-53131282#lnk=sametab&preselect=53127281
https://www.target.com/p/evenflo-174-amp-high-back-booster-car-seat/-/A-15142094#lnk=sametab&preselect=14419214

We did just move to a van, which meant that I sold my 12 YO Corolla before it's time :(. But that was for baby #3. We went with the Odyssey because of the "wide mode" seats in the 2nd row. It was easier to strap them all in in the Oddy than in the Sienna.

[fat-johnny]

I'll be doing some clinical rotations this fall a few hours away, and I'll be sleeping in my minivan in my daughter's driveway as she's near the site, but doesn't have sleeping space for me.

There is no way in hell I would even THINK of asking my mom to sleep in her minivan in my driveway because I "didn't have space for her".  A couch, an air mattress, a futon......I would make it happen.  It's my MOTHER for cripes sake.

FJ

[Schmidty]

I'll be doing some clinical rotations this fall a few hours away, and I'll be sleeping in my minivan in my daughter's driveway as she's near the site, but doesn't have sleeping space for me.

There is no way in hell I would even THINK of asking my mom to sleep in her minivan in my driveway because I "didn't have space for her".  A couch, an air mattress, a futon......I would make it happen.  It's my MOTHER for cripes sake.

FJ

They could make room, if need be.  I would just prefer my own space for sleeping, my choice.   With the baby up at night some and the son-in-law being a night owl, I prefer to be able to go to sleep when I'm sleep.  Like a camping adventure, just with the perks of a bathroom and kitchen and great company.  It's all good.  :)

[mm1970]

You don't really need a minivan.  Depending on the car, your wife could sit in the middle between them.  I never did - we never had to worry about "soothing", usually kid #1 or kid #2 would cry a bit but not long, and then they'd go to sleep.

The only fighting issue we had was when Kid #2 was rear facing at two, in the center, and kid #1 was in a booster, and kept getting kicked in the face.  We turned him forward facing.

We have two kids and our "big" car is a Matrix.

That said, I love minivans and would totally own one if I could justify it.  But I can't, because we don't need it and the matrix will never die.  Nor will the Civic, it's still a baby at 9. 

I would make do with what you have, and consider a minivan later if you need it, or if one of your car dies.

For me, it's road trips and camping.  Camping with a Matrix requires a lot of work to put the box on the car, carefully pack the stuff for 4 people (we are packed to the gills).  Even road trips at hotels are kind of cramped - not a lot of leg room, luckily my kids are short.  My MIL is visiting right now, and it's tight for anything more than an hour with 3 people in the back.  Luckily she took that on after the first day because I was getting carsick in the back.

[shawndoggy]

Minivans rock. As noted in this thread they are not only good but ndividual family haulers but also good for:

Hauling big items (odyssey has more useful cargo room than a suburban);

Carpooling (your kids will grow and make friends and splitting duty with who drives to soccer practice can be a lifesaver);

Dropping kids at school (power sliders!);

Taking road trips and vacations (back when I was bike racing we could fit four adults and four bikes in the Ody with ease);

Going out to dinner when the grandparents are in town;

Etc.

Don’t quit saving to buy one but don’t feel like you are only allowed to drive a Yaris if you have a family of 4.


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[Dicey]

I have zero children, but I have owned and loved three minivans. They are endlessly practical, especially if you have a DIY streak. My Dodge Grand Caravans (2) could haul many 4'x8' sheets of plywood flat, with the seats stowed below. I also owned a Mazda MPV before the Dodges. It was fine, until I got a GC with magic doors, and then it was game over for Mazda. Before anyone facepunches, all three were used for business and the Dodge CG's will the bells and whistles were company cars. They were so good, that when the leases expired, I bought them outright. My sister took one, and I happily drove the other when the company car program ended. We both got years of good use out of them.

At my husband's insistence, we sold the last minivan (he does the maintenance, so it was his call). We bought a good used Venza instead. I like it well enough, but it can't haul what the minivan could. Our grandbaby was just here for a visit. No way would two carseats with an adult in the middle be doable for all but the shortest of trips. Besides comfort, an adult-sized person totally blocks the driver's rear view.

Three cheers for minivans!

[Just Joe]

We did all of our baby traveling with one of the early (smallest) CRV. The kids learned to get along although we had a couple of trips with meltdowns. I still like two row CUVs for family cars. The benefits of a wagon, sort of like a crossover aka sort of like a minivan without the size of the average minivan. Helpful in tight parking lots. 

We will prob search for a used HRV when the family second car needs to be replaced.

Another vehicle to look for is a Ford Transit Connect. I've never driven one and I know they are a little unconventional but there might be savings to be had there b/c they might not be the most popular vehicle on the lots. This is the FWD van - they can be had as passenger minivans with windows and some color besides work van white. ;)

Another one to look at - and again I know nuthin' about these critters - the Mercedes Metris minivan. Sometimes the resale is low b/c the people that buy luxury brands want (and can better afford) new and have little interest in a used vehicle. I know I have priced several lux brands with 3 yr/45K vehicles that have dropped 50% in price since new.

[SC93]

I was looking at this little car going down the road today thinking how much more comfortable I was in my minivan and there is no way I'd give it up! I get to sit like I sit in a chair instead of feet out almost straight. Nice arm rest. It's up higher than a little car so I can see ahead of me and not be surprised when someone waits until the last minute to brake. And, they have GREAT traction. When I lived up north I never got stuck 1 time in a minivan.... backed my girlfriends (at the time) 4x4 GMC Jimmy out of the driveway and had to use the minivan to get it unstuck! So I parked the 4x4 back in the driveway and used the minivan to take my girls around to their jobs all day in snow packed neighborhoods.

[Dianalou]

Buying it just so that your wife can sit in the back seems excessive, but I have a mini van for two kids 14 months apart (oldest 2.5) and we love it. We can fit all of our gear and their gear when we go places to visit or camp. Fold the seats up and Grandma & Grandpa can come too so less cars on the road. Fill up the back for camping, my husband hauled his bike around before the new bike rack came in. When we need a break at the park or something we can go sit in the car and have protected space for a snack, we've done that so many times after a hike too. Get in out of the elements and the kids can move around a bit and eat something before we get back on the road. I had to convince my husband to get it over an Outback (we both have owned and loved Subarus) and now we both love it and are glad to have it. We also do trips with both kids in our Prius, so it's not like it's a necessity, but it sure makes it handy when you have a bunch of crap to haul around and just want to be comfortable. I spend half the drives when in the Prius asking my 2 yo to please stop kicking the seat ...