This. And very sorry for you, iowajoes. Also agree with Retiredat63: that and more.
To answer the OP: I worked in downtown Seattle and lived in Poulsbo (had 5 horses). Not a quick or cheap commute, but came to love the ferry.
I'm on just over 15 acres, but the lot is fairly skinny/long. I can barely hear cars passing if I'm standing in the front of yard. But I did have an issue where a neighbor that decided to fence 8 feet into my land: on the long side of the property. Tried talking nice, repeatedly. Then went over with a Sawzall and cut all the posts down. When he tried to put them back up, sheriff.
It's not a real solution to a lot of sound, but there are many soundproofing options for walls: one is soundboard, but you can also diy with cleaned egg cartons and foam. I lived in a triplex I owned and the woman next door had a baby. I had a contractor come soundboard the 17ft high walls the next day. Worth it.
Depending on your lot, you can also landscape a lot of issues away. Expensive but permanent solution is stone: a rock wall is best. Or even just the stack 'em up brick kind of thing waist high, with dense plantings will buffer/deflect sound.
When I can no longer deal with all the ranch work I will have to move to town....dread that day. I will soundboard the mother I buy to within an inch of it's life, and plant MEGA huge planters to keep noise at bay.
Good luck!
A buddy of mine lives in PB and commutes to Seattle. He had a similar issue with his neighbor and last we talked, they still didn't seem to get along. The neighbor tries to strike up conversation with my friend but my friend is still so pissed at his antics (and rightfully so) that he completely ignores him, even in front of others.
We had neighbors cows get out and come onto our property when I was growing up, we lived on 10 acres. We also had neighbors with constant aggression over who had a right to use the dirt road that led up to our property.
What a few other posters noted about how their area was ideal until the bad neighbors moved in, or the area got developed rings very true. Unless you are are he base of Mt. Rainier, you likely will not escape the development in this lifetime.
I know we are not the only ones. When you google it, there are many others who have these issues. It's still better to live in the country where you enjoy peace for a while. I thought buying a house in an expensive area with an HOA was the solution, but the HOA has proven to be next to useless.
At least living in a house doesn't have as many noise issues as an apartment, though I will say, the apartment I lived in for 10 years was quiet. Then I lived in two other apartments in one year in Seattle and OMG, no sound insulation at all. I could hear the neighbor below me unravel the toilet paper to wipe their butt! Don't get me started on the stomping neighbor from above.
In any case, living in a house has removed some of the issues, like the noise issues that come with shared walls, but then you have the issues that come with people having garages, driveways and yards where they and their kids are constantly out playing loud music, running a saw or grinder, etc.
I have to come up with a solution to this. Part of the problem is my gf has a commute to Bellevue but doesn't make that much. In her mind, she thinks $19 an hour is great, but for a 1 to 1.5 hour commute to Bellevue from where we are now (not that far, just traffic...) it's not. She is not going to want to move to the sticks with a longer commute, and she doesn't want to change jobs. She was talking about finding a job closer to home until she got a better boss. Alas, I may have to decide to move and hope she joins me, because I don't find it reasonable to limit my options for sanity when I make 4-5 times as much, just so she can stay close to a job that really doesn't pay well for the area...
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I'm not in Poulsbo or even WA now, but it was odd. Someone called animal control on me twice about my horses, which was infuriating. The guy came out, said "where's your hay?" and I pointed to over a ton of high quality hay out of the rain on a roofed shed porch. Then he said, "Where are the horses?" And I pointed at the small barn they were in for the night: appears someone thought the horses were out in the rain, oh my. Well, they were in the rain while I was at work---go figure, it rains in WA---but they slept in the barn at night. Once would have been annoying, as the person only had to stop by to see that. Twice was insane.
Don't know what your SO does, but there are no jobs in Poulsbo that probably make that until you get to management levels or perhaps government. Or sales.
As far as her wanting to move to the country....um....it's an acquired taste. Think shoes. I rarely wear heels but had to a few times: had to either wear my muck boots down to the gate, get out in the gravel (mud, in WA) open the gate, drive through, get out lock the gate...then change into the heels because hopping in/out of the truck in the gravel shreds the heels.
When my Dad was alive I brought him out here and he freaked, having lived in NYC his whole life. "There's nothing out here! What if you wanted to get a cup of coffee? Order Chinese or pizza delivered? Run to the corner store for butter: you don't even have corners!!! There's nobody around." He hated it.
I'd keep looking before I tried to do a Green Acres on her. I know that south of Seattle on I-5 there were some farm-y areas but to buy they would be insanely expensive, for what you get.
A better idea might be to sign on as caretakers or gatekeepers in a rural outfit that wants someone around for security...hard to come by those but you usually get free (hideous) housing.
Or you could maybe coach her into a more lucrative position? Thing is that once you like your boss (rare) and your co-workers, the intrinsic value of being happy at work is hard to put a number on. She probably feels it's worth it, as it's an ok prevailing wage and she's happy.
Good luck!